(no subject)
holly got my hopes up. its not her fault tho, she was just trying to help. heather doesnt understand why i cant talk to her. im trying to move on and forget about her and every word she says to me is like another blade going into my heart. holly told me that if i talk to heather we can work things out and get back together because she knows that heather really does like me. she was wrong about both things. heather doesnt care about me, and nothing i can do or say can fix what went wrong between us. i want to go home so bad. i hate this fucking place. i want to go hang out with my friends and listen to my music as loud as it goes. i want to work on my car and get drunk and stay the night at peoples houses. i want everything to be the way it was last week at this time. everything was perfect. i know none of that will happen, but thats what i want. i think i always want the things i cant have. i hate thanksgiving. i have nothing to be thankful for. what do i have? a broken heart, no one to talk to and im 500 miles from home. fuck all this. i havent been this hurt in my life. and if im over reacting to all this, i dont care. if i could control how i felt about all this, i wouldnt give a damn. after me and kenna broke up i swore i would never give a damn about another girl as much as i did about her. i broke that. i found an amazing girl who made me happy. and lost her in a matter of days. why do i do these things to myself. why