When your mom tells you to go get drunk, that's bad, right?
I've really been suffering from anxiety lately. No attacks or anything, but enough that I have lost most of the joy in my life, and I'm annoying people so bad someone has started lecturing me about why I need to stop worrying. That's pretty bad.
I shared this with my mom, who's definitely got her own shit going on right now, so it was nice of her to let me vent. I mention it's so bad I've thought about going on prescribed medication, just to calm the fuck down. My mom asks, "Have you tried self-medication?," which means have I gone out and bought sedatives or alcohol or other relaxing intoxicants. She doesn't say this in a worried tone, but in an honest, curious tone. I tell her I have thought about it, but with our family's history I'm a little reluctant to try. "Well, you've said you're a one-beer kind of gal, so I think you'd probably be fine," she counters, and in our discussion she goes on to assure me that she can start and stop self-medicating, so I should be fine too.
Holy cow.
My mom essentially just told me to go out and get drunk (okay, buzzed), or use other self-prescribed drugs to relieve my anxiety.
My response to her on the phone? That my insurance would probably cover the prescription drugs and not the OTC methods. Yes, I am that much of a cheapskate.
Now, does this conversation mean I really DO need some kind of medication really, really badly, or does it mean that my mom is all about experimentation? I'm not sure, but either way I don't think the implications point to anything super positive.
To be perfectly honest, I have bought the occasional bottle of red wine because I know it's more effective than white wine at quieting my brain down a little. I haven't figured out quite the right balance of buzzed and productive, however. And I'm not sure it's something I really want to do extensive research on.
So there you go. It almost inspired me to go run out and grab a bottle of chiraz, but I ate some cheese and crackers instead. And frankly my brain is so fried from caffeine I feel drunk a lot of the time anyway, so don't really need the added effects. Although the drunk feeling without the buzz is actually really, really lame.
-B
I shared this with my mom, who's definitely got her own shit going on right now, so it was nice of her to let me vent. I mention it's so bad I've thought about going on prescribed medication, just to calm the fuck down. My mom asks, "Have you tried self-medication?," which means have I gone out and bought sedatives or alcohol or other relaxing intoxicants. She doesn't say this in a worried tone, but in an honest, curious tone. I tell her I have thought about it, but with our family's history I'm a little reluctant to try. "Well, you've said you're a one-beer kind of gal, so I think you'd probably be fine," she counters, and in our discussion she goes on to assure me that she can start and stop self-medicating, so I should be fine too.
Holy cow.
My mom essentially just told me to go out and get drunk (okay, buzzed), or use other self-prescribed drugs to relieve my anxiety.
My response to her on the phone? That my insurance would probably cover the prescription drugs and not the OTC methods. Yes, I am that much of a cheapskate.
Now, does this conversation mean I really DO need some kind of medication really, really badly, or does it mean that my mom is all about experimentation? I'm not sure, but either way I don't think the implications point to anything super positive.
To be perfectly honest, I have bought the occasional bottle of red wine because I know it's more effective than white wine at quieting my brain down a little. I haven't figured out quite the right balance of buzzed and productive, however. And I'm not sure it's something I really want to do extensive research on.
So there you go. It almost inspired me to go run out and grab a bottle of chiraz, but I ate some cheese and crackers instead. And frankly my brain is so fried from caffeine I feel drunk a lot of the time anyway, so don't really need the added effects. Although the drunk feeling without the buzz is actually really, really lame.
-B