one year ago
one year ago, i sat in this same chair at this same relative's house, awaiting the commencement of my year in Montreal.
Time has - in this room at least - surely slowed to a stop while i've been out busrting through it. This little office of my aunt's looks the exact same as it did last august, when i shook off the shock of leaving sebastian in london, and i wondered about what was ahead of me.
much like then, i am sitting here now in the shock of leaving jean-philippe in Montreal... like last time, i am alone in a house holding many, awkwardly wondering what to do with myself in the evening hour when usually i would be with my man, my friends, my social trampolene, comunally making the evening rip and ripen under us.
Here i am, with my parents et la famille, not sure if what i've left behind will find me a future worthy of all these sacrifices...
Only 19, and i've already walked away from so many wonderful people.
Sebastian, sitting here, part of me wishes still that i was on my way back to you - in last summer when everything was perfect...
but i have changed so much since then. I have grown far much past you, living on my own, starting this thick new francophone life...
and the purpose of this little office isn't really to recollect, is it? like a year ago, this office is my push-off platform, holding me alone in still time for one evening just to curl my toes around the "go" pedal...
and break away.
Time has - in this room at least - surely slowed to a stop while i've been out busrting through it. This little office of my aunt's looks the exact same as it did last august, when i shook off the shock of leaving sebastian in london, and i wondered about what was ahead of me.
much like then, i am sitting here now in the shock of leaving jean-philippe in Montreal... like last time, i am alone in a house holding many, awkwardly wondering what to do with myself in the evening hour when usually i would be with my man, my friends, my social trampolene, comunally making the evening rip and ripen under us.
Here i am, with my parents et la famille, not sure if what i've left behind will find me a future worthy of all these sacrifices...
Only 19, and i've already walked away from so many wonderful people.
Sebastian, sitting here, part of me wishes still that i was on my way back to you - in last summer when everything was perfect...
but i have changed so much since then. I have grown far much past you, living on my own, starting this thick new francophone life...
and the purpose of this little office isn't really to recollect, is it? like a year ago, this office is my push-off platform, holding me alone in still time for one evening just to curl my toes around the "go" pedal...
and break away.