There are Seven Words that everyone dreads when talking to a gamer. They're not Mr. Carlin's famous Seven Words, but in casual conversation, they can often prompt a response that's every bit as extreme. After a few years, those of us who are capable of acquiring at least rudimentary social skills learn to avoid these words, for the most part, but every so often, they just have to slip out.
The words in question:
Let Me Tell You About My Character ...
In the Star Wars Saga game hosted jointly by
rikoshi and
tealfox, I play KLDR-4077, a Medical Droid, rebuilt from spare parts. When the game began, "Kildare" had recently been memory-wiped, a process which (conveniently) resets a droid character back to Level 1-and even more conveniently, provides a nice clean slate studded with Plot Hooks.
A peculiarity of the Star Wars Saga system is the conceit that Droid PCs aren't automatically sentient. Until a character takes the "Independent Droid" Prestige Class at Level 5, it's just a very complex neural network, operating within programmed parameters and behavioral inhibitors. Once a character begins taking levels in that class, it can circumvent its programming, and ignore those behavioral inhibitors (CAUTION: This unit is no longer Three Laws Compliant!).
KLDR-4077 has reached this point, of course. His newfound cognitive freedom, however, has been accompanied by flashes of memory that somehow slipped by the memory wipe-flashes that indicate that the droid he used to be participated in some extremely unpleasant activities.
He doesn't like it. He doesn't like it at all.
I've described his character arc as "Pinocchio gets dragged kicking and screaming into Becoming A Real Boy".
This brings us to the Songs of the Day: Medley for a Reluctant Android.
Click to view
The Body Electric
Rush
from the album
Grace Under Pressure
One humanoid escapee
One android on the run
Seeking freedom beneath a lonely desert sun
Trying to change its program
Trying to change the mode -- crack the code
Images conflicting into data overload
1-0-0-1-0-0-1
SOS
1-0-0-1-0-0-1
In distress
1-0-0-1-0-0
Memory banks unloading
Bytes break into bits
Unit One is in trouble and it's scared out of its wits
Guidance systems break down
A struggle to exist
To resist
A pulse of dying power in a clenching plastic fist
1-0-0-1-0-0-1
SOS
1-0-0-1-0-0-1
In distress
1-0-0-1-0-0
It replays each of the days
A hundred years of routines
Bows its head and prays
To the mother of all machines
1-0-0-1-0-0-1
SOS
1-0-0-1-0-0-1
In distress
1-0-0-1-0-0
It replays each of the days
A hundred years of routines
Bows its head and prays
To the mother of all machines
Mother of all machines!
Click to view
Mr. Roboto
Styx
from the concept album
Kilroy Was Here
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Mata o hima de
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Himitsu o shiri tai
You're wondering who I am
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
Machine or mannequin
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
With parts made in Japan
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
I am the modяen man
I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain IBM
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive, just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive
I'm not a robot without emotions, I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a savior, forget what you know
I'm just a man who's circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control, We all need control
I need control, We all need control
I am the modяen man
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
Who hides behind a mask
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
So no one else can see
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
My true identity
Domo arigato, Mr, Roboto
Domo, Domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo, Domo
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
Thank you very much, oh, Mr. Roboto
for doing the jobs that nobody wants to
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
And thank you very much oh Mr. Roboto
for helping me escape just when I needed to
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
Thank you thank you thank you
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
I wanna thank you
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
Please thank you
The problem's plain to see
Too much technology
Machines to save our lives
Machines de-humanize
The time has come at last
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
To throw away this mask
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
Now everyone can see
(Secret secret, I've got a secret)
My true identity
I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy....
No, the similarities between "Kilroy" and "Kildare" haven't escaped me.
YouTube has the original, official videos for both of these songs,
but they're both just ... so ... painfully ... Eighties.