(no subject)
Thought i'd get in the car and stand outside his house with just the right song crying through the stereo and he'd come out and see me and realize how much he still loved me...I thought I'd recreate some cheesey movie and put the pieces back together with a short skirt and a smile. so i grabbed him and kissed him, asked him to tell me that he felt nothing..that there wasn't anything there, and that if that was the truth I would get back in my car with a sigh and a kiss and drop out of his life, like a plane from the sky..lost.
But instead of holding me tight, and kissing me hard and taking me back he stood there; looking at me, and I back at him. Thats when I really understood, thats when I started to panic. The wrong song and too much eyeliner white teeth and a ticket to meet God wouldn't save me tonight. When I saw no emotion locked in his dark brown eyes...eyes that screamed every sentiment in bold letters. With tired words he told me he was sorry, all he could muster in a hope to prove he wasn't willing to pretend anymore. He said he never meant his words to get back to me but he nevertheless meant them all- still ignorance doesn't make the truth sting any less.
Good intentions fall on the floor around our feet, soft white feathers to hide the broken glass. We look away playing with our fingertips and I take a step back, the heat of the engine the frost of his eyes...dont look at me. more upset over the wasted gas, then wasted feelings. Friends holds a shallow redemption for lovers, and only now those midnight hours when I searched in the dark for some feeling and i uttered the words at a feeble attempt to feel what I spoke seem to collide overhead breaking every nerve tingling senselessness turned to agony only now do i feel what i couldn't then. and I'm sorry . sorry that i can only love that i've lost you somewhere along the way...
Silence- frantic, breathing hard, gas pedal gaining speed, lifting off the air, and maybe if I just dont stop keep driving faster and faster flying higher wont ever have to touch ground again...
But instead of holding me tight, and kissing me hard and taking me back he stood there; looking at me, and I back at him. Thats when I really understood, thats when I started to panic. The wrong song and too much eyeliner white teeth and a ticket to meet God wouldn't save me tonight. When I saw no emotion locked in his dark brown eyes...eyes that screamed every sentiment in bold letters. With tired words he told me he was sorry, all he could muster in a hope to prove he wasn't willing to pretend anymore. He said he never meant his words to get back to me but he nevertheless meant them all- still ignorance doesn't make the truth sting any less.
Good intentions fall on the floor around our feet, soft white feathers to hide the broken glass. We look away playing with our fingertips and I take a step back, the heat of the engine the frost of his eyes...dont look at me. more upset over the wasted gas, then wasted feelings. Friends holds a shallow redemption for lovers, and only now those midnight hours when I searched in the dark for some feeling and i uttered the words at a feeble attempt to feel what I spoke seem to collide overhead breaking every nerve tingling senselessness turned to agony only now do i feel what i couldn't then. and I'm sorry . sorry that i can only love that i've lost you somewhere along the way...
Silence- frantic, breathing hard, gas pedal gaining speed, lifting off the air, and maybe if I just dont stop keep driving faster and faster flying higher wont ever have to touch ground again...