[text] eridans guide to (potentially succeeding at) information gathering

[uncodlyawwesome]

hey im sorry to be completely the fuckin opposite of a clam right noww
cloggin up the netwwork wwith all sorts a silly posts

but see i just realized that my guide last night wwas only kind a helpful an
you knoww im reel pleased people found it useful an all but at the same time i gotta admit i feel kind a silly here

Comments

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[hvymetalheroics]

You have the subtle workings of an underfed school of piranha. You know that, don't you?

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[uncodlyawwesome]

heres the thing

nice metaphor there by the wway i like that

the thing is that these fuckasses dont knoww anyfin about me othern wwhat ivve said
wwhich is basically that im just some troll wwho is kind a fuckin rude but has his collapsin an expandin bladder based aquatic vvascular system in the right place

they havve no fuckin idea wwhy id wwant your name an half a these fools are just sittin around wwith their thumbs shovved so far up their nooks they wwouldnt be able to type a suspicion they had about me evven if they thought to

so howw about you let me play this my wway
or you could just tell me your name an savve me the fuckin embarrassment of pretendin to be some kind a dopey eyed seal pup

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[hvymetalheroics]

I'll give you a hint: I am alone from my world.

I have no given my name to anyone.

But I'll give it to one person soon.

Just so you can try and find out what it is.

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[uncodlyawwesome]

arent you just fuckin accomodatin as shit

to be fuckin honest i dont reely need your name but i just think it wwouldnt be right for me not to givve figurin it out a blackbassed shot

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[hvymetalheroics]

All in the name of the game, my fishy friend. All in the name of the game.

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[uncodlyawwesome]

you knoww that ivve wwon evvery game ivve evver played dont you
evvery single one

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[hvymetalheroics]

Then I look forward to giving you your first opportunity to learn something new ... from your personal failure.

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[uncodlyawwesome]

its almost like you reely think youre cool
howw fuckin adorable is that
someone should get a digital image recorder an take a snapshot of you bein so fuckin devvious
just so i can havve it to rub in your face later

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[hvymetalheroics]

No need, my finned friend. No need.

Just keep doing what you're doing, and I'll keep doing what I am.

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[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhich is wwhat exactly

[you can practically hear his tone of absolute, complete dismissal, and he's not even saying anything aloud!]

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[hvymetalheroics]

That'd be telling. Just be assured that I am doing my utmost to make myself productive.

[He sees your feigned disinterest and raises you a 'I know you want to know, you know I know, let's not pretend'.]

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[uncodlyawwesome]

somehoww thats not exactly reassurin
actually it kind a just makes me think youre still tryin to come up wwith somefin to do to make you look fuckin vvillainous as all shell
sittin there in the dark probably
strokin that stupid fuckin facial hair a yours
if you had a purrin fluffbeast youd probably be strokin that
just like in the eponymous legislacerator impersonates a sopor smuggler to infiltrate a smuggling ring
uncovvers a plot by her long time kismesis to use the sopor an build a doomsday devvice
an proceeds to throww him to the imperial drones covvered in mind honey thereby makin him an irresistible foodstuff to the drones
wwho then eat him

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[hvymetalheroics]

Did you seriously compare me to a Noir lead?

That's terribly flattering!

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[uncodlyawwesome]

anyfin to lift your spirits an inflate your bulbous head

itll make it evven better wwhen i get to crush em both

one question though wwhats a noir lead

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[hvymetalheroics]

Noir is a sort of fiction type-- filled with all sorts of villainous tropes. It's a world of decay and corruption, where only one man barely stands for anything decent, and even then he's muddied by the world he lives in. Center cannot hold, all that. One of my favorite types of fiction.

And Noir villains are always the epitome of style.

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[uncodlyawwesome]

oh then yeah
i guess i wwas sort a sayin that then
i mean i dont think it really fits exactly but its a pretty good movvie anywway evven wwithout all the decay an barely standin for anyfin decent part
the eponymous legislacerator is actually kind a the fuckin pinnacle a decency an shit

but from wwhat i knoww about humans maybe that basically means shes completely a noir kind a character

but i nevver said anyfin about your style
thats a wwhole other movvie
called
wherein the vvillains style causes eye lesions an the audience riots in the streets for havvin to witness it for evven a passin moment