Effect
I, honestly - not holding back here, feel like screaming my guts out, puking, ripping my hair out, and having my stomach pulled up through my mouth. Not only that, but, if I'm still conscious, driving about six hours and slapping someone in the face. That's what I honestly feel at the moment. I cannot believe the nerve of some people.
If you ask me questions and I answer them. Don't get fucking mad at me for my own opinion. And when I do explain things- without throwing shit in your face; don't fucking ignore everything I said. I swear, the only freaking reason you keep me around is so you are not lonely. You don't care about my opinion or anything that I say, feel, or happens to me. As long as I stick around for you right? I was trying to solve the matter politely. I never throw shit in your face.
And Jesus CHRIST. What a fucking best friend. I know I'm such a little kid, and I think I know everything, and I've ruined your life or what ever. But fucking A man. I'm not the one who's too fucking busy to stop talking to people for five minutes to talk to me.
Yeah, youre scared I'm busy, or blah blah blah. I'm tired of the excuses. You're tired and scared of everything and use it as an excuse. I know what I'm scared of and at least I have the deciency not to hide behind it or anything else.
I'm fucking vulnerable as hell, and you're the one fucking person I trusted.
OMG
CAN WE PLEASE LET HIM DIE!?!?
It's bad enough I cant get the fucker out of my head, but you always find something to relate him to. Or you're with someone and you're thinking about him. OMG woman. Get a plane ticket. Go fucking meet him. and Go home. IM TIRED OF THIS.
I know you love him, but hunny if someone treats you like hell fucking drop them. I would like to think I know you enough to think that you deserve way more than that. But if he's what you really want/need. Find a way. And stop using other people and drugs as fillers.
You're supposed to be the shrink. The one that helps the other people right? Where and when does that side of you start kicking in?
This is why I freaking Hate shrinks. What made me think I could be best friends with one. Or lovers. Agh... Fuck this.
Everyone's fucking using me right now.
Currently:
No one in my fucking school wants to pass and is making me do all the fucking work and spend money that I don't have. I do the work they pass. That's life.
Appearantly... So says Jace. that it's better for me to be alone at this point in my life- I've too much going on for him. So guess what? He left me, the day after I told him that my dad lost his job. The day after I found out my life was changing forever.
I'm being used as a rebound girl, so that my friend can get over his ex of five years and tell himself that moving here will be whats best for him.
Oh and that same friend is using me as a reason to quit drinking and I'm getting all the shit from his friends saying its my fucking fault. NO ITS FUCKING NOT! I didnt say jack to him about quitting.
Everyfucking guy in school thinks that its ok to hit on me, and like me and thinks I'm the easiest thing in the world fuck that.
My best friend. or supposedly doesn't care to even fathom what my life is like.
ITS NOT O FUCKING KAY.
And yes, I'm going to smile so all of the assholes stay out of my hair. But the second someone touches me Im beating the shit out of them.
You, shrink person.
Tell me, Is it ok to feel like life is shit right now?
You're supposed to have all the answers.
Give me One good reason to stay.
I love/hate you
If you ask me questions and I answer them. Don't get fucking mad at me for my own opinion. And when I do explain things- without throwing shit in your face; don't fucking ignore everything I said. I swear, the only freaking reason you keep me around is so you are not lonely. You don't care about my opinion or anything that I say, feel, or happens to me. As long as I stick around for you right? I was trying to solve the matter politely. I never throw shit in your face.
And Jesus CHRIST. What a fucking best friend. I know I'm such a little kid, and I think I know everything, and I've ruined your life or what ever. But fucking A man. I'm not the one who's too fucking busy to stop talking to people for five minutes to talk to me.
Yeah, youre scared I'm busy, or blah blah blah. I'm tired of the excuses. You're tired and scared of everything and use it as an excuse. I know what I'm scared of and at least I have the deciency not to hide behind it or anything else.
I'm fucking vulnerable as hell, and you're the one fucking person I trusted.
OMG
CAN WE PLEASE LET HIM DIE!?!?
It's bad enough I cant get the fucker out of my head, but you always find something to relate him to. Or you're with someone and you're thinking about him. OMG woman. Get a plane ticket. Go fucking meet him. and Go home. IM TIRED OF THIS.
I know you love him, but hunny if someone treats you like hell fucking drop them. I would like to think I know you enough to think that you deserve way more than that. But if he's what you really want/need. Find a way. And stop using other people and drugs as fillers.
You're supposed to be the shrink. The one that helps the other people right? Where and when does that side of you start kicking in?
This is why I freaking Hate shrinks. What made me think I could be best friends with one. Or lovers. Agh... Fuck this.
Everyone's fucking using me right now.
Currently:
No one in my fucking school wants to pass and is making me do all the fucking work and spend money that I don't have. I do the work they pass. That's life.
Appearantly... So says Jace. that it's better for me to be alone at this point in my life- I've too much going on for him. So guess what? He left me, the day after I told him that my dad lost his job. The day after I found out my life was changing forever.
I'm being used as a rebound girl, so that my friend can get over his ex of five years and tell himself that moving here will be whats best for him.
Oh and that same friend is using me as a reason to quit drinking and I'm getting all the shit from his friends saying its my fucking fault. NO ITS FUCKING NOT! I didnt say jack to him about quitting.
Everyfucking guy in school thinks that its ok to hit on me, and like me and thinks I'm the easiest thing in the world fuck that.
My best friend. or supposedly doesn't care to even fathom what my life is like.
ITS NOT O FUCKING KAY.
And yes, I'm going to smile so all of the assholes stay out of my hair. But the second someone touches me Im beating the shit out of them.
You, shrink person.
Tell me, Is it ok to feel like life is shit right now?
You're supposed to have all the answers.
Give me One good reason to stay.
I love/hate you