Refrain.

[astrophel_]

(My parents hear this at semi-regular intervals... every few months, perhaps.)
After I complete this Masters degree thingy--(just got back to Karlsruhe from CT yesterday; it smells like summer outside. Germany and Italy share a certain wonderful summer-scent, I think)--I shall change careers, get a postbacc and go to medical school.
Reasons (today's

Comments

[aparecida]

Eh. No scoffing. I think this is a pretty interesting idea. Do I think you can do it? Yes, with the proper motivation. Should you do it? That's a different question.

I think you probably already know that the first four reasons aren't good reasons to go. They pretty much boil down to "To prove I can." That won't be enough to keep you going when you've been studying every waking moment for a week, or when you're hauling yourself out of bed at 4 AM. If you go to medical school, you have to go for you.

I actually don't believe medicine is about science, or that people who are "good at science" or "like science" should be physicians. It's really about humanity, the human condition. The practice of medicine requires you to connect with people from every imaginable background, in every imaginable position. Is that for you? I don't know, given your tendency to hyperanalyze and to feel uncertain in social interaction. (With that said, there certainly are fields -- radiology, pathology, anesthesiology -- that are chosen by precisely those

[astrophel_]

(extended navelgazing below)
I was looking forward to your response, and I wasn't disappointed--you've given me a lot of interesting things to think about. The stand-out question here, about connecting to other people, is one that is on my mind often enough as a musician as well. I'm definitely not the hide-in-the-lab-specialty type; I really do enjoy interacting with people, much more than some of the things I've written may suggest. I thrive on a stage--performer, or English teacher (how an American in Germany pays his rent), or even host of a party--which is entirely about interacting with the 'audience', albeit in a very specific and empowered way. I would imagine that the physician is in a somewhat similar role (and I don't mean that of the doctor-as-egotist stereotype). It remains to be seen--in either situation--whether I also have the requisite empathy. But I won't make a very good musician if I don't, either. And people seem to come away from my performances with the impression that I do, even if they've been impressed

empathy, or lack thereof

[astrophel_]

In 7th grade, my history teacher (someone I admire greatly) scolded me for "lacking in EQ whatever I had gained in IQ." This has bothered me ever since. I think I've learned, in the decade-or-so since, to consider things from others' perspectives. I may have taken it to an extreme--I'm now sometimes paralyzed by the fear of upsetting or disappointing or inconveniencing someone else. But I'm not quite convinced that it's an -emotional- understanding of "the other," just a better intellectual appreciation of their desires/needs/fears. Though I'll jokingly assert that I have no emotions, I know that is absurd... and I find myself brought to tears by the strangest things (and with surprising frequency)--just almost always fiction, and seldom my own personal life. The movie The Lion King will make me cry; my grandmother (who I loved dearly) passing away did not. So I conclude that I still have some empathy-deficit, or at least a deep avoidance of it

[aparecida]

You're actually correct about the physician-patient encounter: it's a controlled environment, which does make it easier for me (I'm naturally introverted, but do extremely well one-on-one in a quiet room