whoops, coma! brb!
So I woke up this morning, and I thought it was the fourth of November. I was excited to post to my LiveJournal about my recent re-interest in my 2004 story Corporate Nonconformity, as I had planned yesterday - and then I noticed something strange. The seasons had changed. And not in the usual way that they change from one day to the next here in NoDak. No, it was a different season entirely!
Naturally, with Back to the Future being one of my favorite movies, I knew I had to ascertain the correct date! So, I abandoned my laptop and my iPhone and searched for today’s newspaper. And lo, when I read that today is April 27, 2014, I was shocked! Somehow, I had gone forward in time! I may have been in a coma. Or, I could have been unconsciously hurled through a time tunnel. But a more likely option is that, quite possibly, the exact spot upon which my bed is placed is the opposite end of a singularity - just like in that awesome book of the same name.
(Seriously - when I was about twelve, Singularity by William Sleator fellated my psyche and instantly became my favorite book. When I compare my discovery of Doctor Who to the discovery of a piece of my soul I that hadn’t known was missing, I’m not dicking around. This is the stuff that my heart beats for.)
Okay, the part about the singularity might be a lie... Actually, everything I’ve said, minus the previous paragraph, might be a lie. And telling you, the non-existent reader, that I’d be back tomorrow with more new content? ...a lie. THEY ARE ALL LIES!!
Let us continue this discussion as a Q&A. Why? Because some time has passed since the first three entries and a Q&A seems like a fun way to address the situation.
Q: ...Sorry, I’m still hung up on the Singularity thing. Why even mention that?
Because I have ADHD, and I thought of it, so I had to write it down. I am physically incapable of telling a linear story. Even writing a linear story is hard - some of my favorite things I’ve written have more random cutaways than an episode of Family Guy. (Ba-dum-tish!) Also, Singularity really IS an excellent book. Check it out. Preferably with the good cover.
(Also also, I have a theory that my shower is an opposite-singularity, because when I get out, I feel like I’ve only been in for five minutes, but somehow, twenty minutes has passed.)
Q: ...Whatever. Why didn’t you complete your Grand Re-Opening Post-a-Day?
For the same reason I’m late for work every day - because my shower is an opposite-singularity because I’m unreliable. I “flake out.” I “hit the eject button.” I “ride the failroad.” Basically, I make promises and I can’t keep them. I’d say it’s an anxiety/depression thing, but I don’t think that’s fair to the people who have it worse than me. Really, it just might be an unsavory area of my personality.
Also, I was quite busy at the beginning of November, which included a business trip and other such distractions. It was impressive that I got as far as I did.
Q: Will we ever see the remaining four posts?
I never did manage to think up a final post. The other three, however, have been gathering dust in various stages of completion. I do intend to share them all, at some point. One of the posts was very nearly finished, so that’ll be online soon. It should have followed the post about Internet anonymity, rather than that awkward Tumblr bit, because they’re thematically similar. Oh well. This is a blog that nobody reads, not a collection of published essays. Nobody else is going to give a shit if ideas are out of order.
Also, as previously stated, my ideas are always out of order. O.o
At the end of this post, I’ll be including an itemization of things that I want to talk about, including the lost Post-a-Day’s. It’s more for my own benefit than that of anybody else.
Q: What was so awkward about the “Tumblr bit”?
...Did you read what I wrote in that “inaugural tumble”? If you can’t see what the problem was, you don’t deserve to know.
Okay, fine. Tumblr isn’t all bad. I love all the cute animals, the beautiful fanart, the animated GIFs... I even like the bits which encourage equality - moderate feminism, healthy masculinity, rights of the LGBT+ community, and more. But as I have learned, there is a war being fought on Tumblr. The War on Social Justice. And those Social Justice Warriors don’t want equality - they want revenge. Revenge on everybody.
And that includes me.
I “woke up,” so to speak, in December, after I expressed what I thought was a nifty idea as to portraying the subversion of traditional gender roles in a positive light. It was not well received. In fact, if every hateful comment was a cut somewhere on my body with a knife, and every use of a hate label (predominately “homophobe”) was a full-out stabbing, well - I’d have died on the way to the hospital. And yet, even today, my corpse would still know fresh gashes - because nothing ends on Tumblr. You can’t just “take it back”. Your mistake is a snowball that continues to roll downhill, becoming larger and picking up speed.
I try not to look back on that incident. I don’t need that kind of hatred and vitriol in my life. (Who does?) Really, I would love to write about my experience on Tumblr and how it has changed my perception of humanity for the worse - but if I ever did, I would have to find a way to do so anonymously. That’s a weird thing to say after my ramble on Internet identity, and my feelings on that subject haven’t changed. The reason I would share my experience anonymously is not because I am ashamed of my opinions, or so that I can act like a douchecanoe without repercussions. No, the reason is because I would genuinely fear for my safety. Hell, I’m a bit concerned about my welfare having said as much as I have just now. (...That’s pretty sad.)
I still use Tumblr, on occasion - some people I know, and some that I don’t, use it as their primary blogging platform - but every time I browse my feed, the War on Social Justice rages on. And there is so much bitterness, so much hatred born from a desire to make the world a better place.
In short, Tumblr makes me hate the Internet. Well done.
(Before the next question, I should probably clarify - when I say ‘moderate feminism,’ it means that I believe in peaceful, inclusive, one-step-at-a-time path to gender equality. And, understand that men are not the enemy - hell, they have their own gender stereotypes that chain them down. In fact, the enemy is ignorance, and it should be “fought” with education, discussion, and open-mindedness. You might ask, “Isn’t that what feminism is? Why specify that it’s ‘moderate’?” To which I say, absolutely, that’s what feminism is - or at least, that’s what it should be. Sadly, the word “feminism” invokes images of the War on Social Justice. Rush Limbaugh has another word he uses - you know the one - but I refer to the War on Social Justice as “radical feminism,” because I don’t want to be associated with either of them.)
(I am really worried about my welfare now. 6_6)
Well, this has gone down a dark road that may lead to further persecution! Next question, please, and make it a fun one!
Q: Did you ever get into the Sororal Order of the Treemasons?
Pause! Here’s a fun fact: Word 2002 - shaddup! - does not recognize the word Sororal. But, the Dictionary says it is legit, and Dictionary always outranks Spellcheck.
See, now, the Social Justice Warriors - SJW’s for short - would declare war on Microsoft over this. Me, on the other hand, I say sororal is now the word of the day. Try to find a use for it! I’ve used it here as the female counterpart to “fraternal,” but its core meaning is “sisterly” - that’s not so hard to incorporate into your vocabulary, is it? If you speak or write it in context, you’re more likely to remember, yes? Progress through education.
Q: Do you plan to answer your own question anytime soon?
Oh. Um, yeah. Did I get into the Sororal Order of the Treemasons? I did, in fact! Huzzah! (...Well, to be fair, it’s an order of women and men, as I’d suspected. But the secretors of the estrogen are in the vast majority.)
It is a most excellent secret society, and I’m very grateful to my “sponsor.” ^-^ In fact, I’ve found it so awesome that I sponsored Sega in turn. Fun things are best when shared with the people you love. ~.^ So, we’re both a part now! Such things can only strengthen our sororal bond. (See what I did there? Yeah? ;D)
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it thus far, and met some very cool and creative people! I participated in a Secret Santa exchange during Christmastime, signed up for a writing challenge (but had to drop out, sadly), and am a member of a related audio drama theater-troupe. It’s really helped me to bring out some of that stagnating creativity.
(...I think I can say that much without breaking The First Rule of Treemasons. O.o)
A few days ago, I posted my first piece of fanfiction to the community. I was extremely nervous, but it actually was very well-received. I’ve noticed that many Treemasons - and fanfiction writers in general - post their stories to their own LiveJournals in addition to the community. Some also include a list of all their stories, or a list of recommendations. I’ve yet to decide whether or not to include my stories here on Pretentious Self-Indulgence, but I definitely want to make posts for my “fic masterlist” and “fic recs.” (Look at me, speakin’ the language like a cool kid. ;P) They will, however, be “Friend-Locked,” meaning that only my friends on LiveJournal can see these posts. The majority of my LiveJournal friends are fellow Treemasons, and only the Treemasons (if anybody) are going to be interested in these lists, so I promise you - you’re not missing anything.
And now that I’ve enabled the Links category in the right-hand column, these lists will be easily accessible, even as they are buried under other less important things - like, what I’m doing with my life. ~.^ (And let me tell you, I am doing some things - but that, too, will be saved for another entry. This one is long enough as is.)
Q: Any other ideas for that Links category?
So far, only one - a glossary of Morg terminology. For example, I’ve used the made-up (to my knowledge) phrase moderate feminist - and although I’ve already defined it above, I may go a year without using the word, only for it to suddenly pop up in a monologue. And you, non-reader, might find yourself asking, “What does that mean again?” Well, a quick click over to the glossary, and all shall be answered. I’ll also include words or phrases that I use in an atypical context - an example would be Time and Space, in the context of, “What was your university major?” You know what time and space literally are - I hope - but as many times as I have busted out this lame joke in the past four years, there is always at least one person who still doesn’t get it. (So, to explain again, Time and Space means that I graduated with a Bachelor of University Studies. Ergo, Time Spent and Space Taken - but not in any one particular field.) And as I discover neat but uncommon words - like sororal - I’ll toss those in the mix as well.
(As a Whovian, I do wish my degree was literally in Time and Space. 6_6)
I’ve also decided, just this moment, that I’m also going to throw up a page with all my icons. (I upgraded my LiveJournal account so that I could have 15 icons instead of 6. Six is not enough!) I’ve made all of my icons myself and a lot of the fine detail gets lost when they’re shrunk down to 100 pixels. So, that’s another thing. This is fast turning into a list of promises I can’t keep.
Q: Can we list the broken promises now? This is a damn long post.
Yeah. I should have just called my LiveJournal TL;DR. (I only recently learned what that stands for.) So, here’s the list. Things that I plan to write about sooner or later or possibly never but hopefully eventually. 6_6
► A list of my occasional forays into the world of writing fanfiction. [Locked] [Updated 5/25/14: ... and fanart, and audio!]
► A list of my occasional forays into the world of reading fanfiction. [Locked]
► A glossary of words that have either been invented or reappropriated by me and my friends.
► A gallery of my LiveJournal icons, for further examination or mockery.
► Nicknames and Internet aliases - where’d they come from, and what do they mean? [Updated 5/4/14: find out here!]
► How my adventures in Internet-land have refreshed my memory in regards to the teenage pathos, re-kindling my interest in Corporate Nonconformist-style satire.
► Tangentially related to the prior topic, an exploration into the creation of alter egos which mock very specific areas of the corporate nonconformist culture, and an explanation of the “game” I created with Sega which allows us to pit angst against angst in a role-play setting. (Well, that was the original plan. My feelings on this topic have changed since then, and the post will now be about the negative karma and harsh self-realization that occurred as a result of what was essentially picking on people. Will include atonement in the form of an embarrassing angst-filled poem written far too recently. Set phasers to LULZ.)
► A thorough review of the crowd-funded independent movie Nerdquest, viewed through the lens of both an impartial critic and an excitable fangirl, as well as my purchasing experience. (They want reviews, and I’m game.)
► List ALL the MANGA! For my collection is legion. This is to be compared to the list I made in 2006.
► Similarly, list ALL the COMICS! Specifically, to highlight how my comic book collection quintupled in 2013. (Working at a comic book shop will do that to a person.)
► Last but certainly not least, important news concerning my life, and some major goings-on to come in the next few months. Let it be said that shit has gotten real. ~.^ [Updated 5/16/14: How real? THIS real!]
So! I won’t tell you what’s coming next, because it could be just about anything. It could even be nothing, depending on how quickly the SJW’s station snipers on the neighboring rooftops. If they succeed in striking me down, tell my loved ones that my last words were: “This is no way to encourage sororal behavior.”
Naturally, with Back to the Future being one of my favorite movies, I knew I had to ascertain the correct date! So, I abandoned my laptop and my iPhone and searched for today’s newspaper. And lo, when I read that today is April 27, 2014, I was shocked! Somehow, I had gone forward in time! I may have been in a coma. Or, I could have been unconsciously hurled through a time tunnel. But a more likely option is that, quite possibly, the exact spot upon which my bed is placed is the opposite end of a singularity - just like in that awesome book of the same name.
(Seriously - when I was about twelve, Singularity by William Sleator fellated my psyche and instantly became my favorite book. When I compare my discovery of Doctor Who to the discovery of a piece of my soul I that hadn’t known was missing, I’m not dicking around. This is the stuff that my heart beats for.)
Okay, the part about the singularity might be a lie... Actually, everything I’ve said, minus the previous paragraph, might be a lie. And telling you, the non-existent reader, that I’d be back tomorrow with more new content? ...a lie. THEY ARE ALL LIES!!
Let us continue this discussion as a Q&A. Why? Because some time has passed since the first three entries and a Q&A seems like a fun way to address the situation.
Q: ...Sorry, I’m still hung up on the Singularity thing. Why even mention that?
Because I have ADHD, and I thought of it, so I had to write it down. I am physically incapable of telling a linear story. Even writing a linear story is hard - some of my favorite things I’ve written have more random cutaways than an episode of Family Guy. (Ba-dum-tish!) Also, Singularity really IS an excellent book. Check it out. Preferably with the good cover.
(Also also, I have a theory that my shower is an opposite-singularity, because when I get out, I feel like I’ve only been in for five minutes, but somehow, twenty minutes has passed.)
Q: ...Whatever. Why didn’t you complete your Grand Re-Opening Post-a-Day?
For the same reason I’m late for work every day - because my shower is an opposite-singularity because I’m unreliable. I “flake out.” I “hit the eject button.” I “ride the failroad.” Basically, I make promises and I can’t keep them. I’d say it’s an anxiety/depression thing, but I don’t think that’s fair to the people who have it worse than me. Really, it just might be an unsavory area of my personality.
Also, I was quite busy at the beginning of November, which included a business trip and other such distractions. It was impressive that I got as far as I did.
Q: Will we ever see the remaining four posts?
I never did manage to think up a final post. The other three, however, have been gathering dust in various stages of completion. I do intend to share them all, at some point. One of the posts was very nearly finished, so that’ll be online soon. It should have followed the post about Internet anonymity, rather than that awkward Tumblr bit, because they’re thematically similar. Oh well. This is a blog that nobody reads, not a collection of published essays. Nobody else is going to give a shit if ideas are out of order.
Also, as previously stated, my ideas are always out of order. O.o
At the end of this post, I’ll be including an itemization of things that I want to talk about, including the lost Post-a-Day’s. It’s more for my own benefit than that of anybody else.
Q: What was so awkward about the “Tumblr bit”?
...Did you read what I wrote in that “inaugural tumble”? If you can’t see what the problem was, you don’t deserve to know.
Okay, fine. Tumblr isn’t all bad. I love all the cute animals, the beautiful fanart, the animated GIFs... I even like the bits which encourage equality - moderate feminism, healthy masculinity, rights of the LGBT+ community, and more. But as I have learned, there is a war being fought on Tumblr. The War on Social Justice. And those Social Justice Warriors don’t want equality - they want revenge. Revenge on everybody.
And that includes me.
I “woke up,” so to speak, in December, after I expressed what I thought was a nifty idea as to portraying the subversion of traditional gender roles in a positive light. It was not well received. In fact, if every hateful comment was a cut somewhere on my body with a knife, and every use of a hate label (predominately “homophobe”) was a full-out stabbing, well - I’d have died on the way to the hospital. And yet, even today, my corpse would still know fresh gashes - because nothing ends on Tumblr. You can’t just “take it back”. Your mistake is a snowball that continues to roll downhill, becoming larger and picking up speed.
I try not to look back on that incident. I don’t need that kind of hatred and vitriol in my life. (Who does?) Really, I would love to write about my experience on Tumblr and how it has changed my perception of humanity for the worse - but if I ever did, I would have to find a way to do so anonymously. That’s a weird thing to say after my ramble on Internet identity, and my feelings on that subject haven’t changed. The reason I would share my experience anonymously is not because I am ashamed of my opinions, or so that I can act like a douchecanoe without repercussions. No, the reason is because I would genuinely fear for my safety. Hell, I’m a bit concerned about my welfare having said as much as I have just now. (...That’s pretty sad.)
I still use Tumblr, on occasion - some people I know, and some that I don’t, use it as their primary blogging platform - but every time I browse my feed, the War on Social Justice rages on. And there is so much bitterness, so much hatred born from a desire to make the world a better place.
In short, Tumblr makes me hate the Internet. Well done.
(Before the next question, I should probably clarify - when I say ‘moderate feminism,’ it means that I believe in peaceful, inclusive, one-step-at-a-time path to gender equality. And, understand that men are not the enemy - hell, they have their own gender stereotypes that chain them down. In fact, the enemy is ignorance, and it should be “fought” with education, discussion, and open-mindedness. You might ask, “Isn’t that what feminism is? Why specify that it’s ‘moderate’?” To which I say, absolutely, that’s what feminism is - or at least, that’s what it should be. Sadly, the word “feminism” invokes images of the War on Social Justice. Rush Limbaugh has another word he uses - you know the one - but I refer to the War on Social Justice as “radical feminism,” because I don’t want to be associated with either of them.)
(I am really worried about my welfare now. 6_6)
Well, this has gone down a dark road that may lead to further persecution! Next question, please, and make it a fun one!
Q: Did you ever get into the Sororal Order of the Treemasons?
Pause! Here’s a fun fact: Word 2002 - shaddup! - does not recognize the word Sororal. But, the Dictionary says it is legit, and Dictionary always outranks Spellcheck.
See, now, the Social Justice Warriors - SJW’s for short - would declare war on Microsoft over this. Me, on the other hand, I say sororal is now the word of the day. Try to find a use for it! I’ve used it here as the female counterpart to “fraternal,” but its core meaning is “sisterly” - that’s not so hard to incorporate into your vocabulary, is it? If you speak or write it in context, you’re more likely to remember, yes? Progress through education.
Q: Do you plan to answer your own question anytime soon?
Oh. Um, yeah. Did I get into the Sororal Order of the Treemasons? I did, in fact! Huzzah! (...Well, to be fair, it’s an order of women and men, as I’d suspected. But the secretors of the estrogen are in the vast majority.)
It is a most excellent secret society, and I’m very grateful to my “sponsor.” ^-^ In fact, I’ve found it so awesome that I sponsored Sega in turn. Fun things are best when shared with the people you love. ~.^ So, we’re both a part now! Such things can only strengthen our sororal bond. (See what I did there? Yeah? ;D)
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it thus far, and met some very cool and creative people! I participated in a Secret Santa exchange during Christmastime, signed up for a writing challenge (but had to drop out, sadly), and am a member of a related audio drama theater-troupe. It’s really helped me to bring out some of that stagnating creativity.
(...I think I can say that much without breaking The First Rule of Treemasons. O.o)
A few days ago, I posted my first piece of fanfiction to the community. I was extremely nervous, but it actually was very well-received. I’ve noticed that many Treemasons - and fanfiction writers in general - post their stories to their own LiveJournals in addition to the community. Some also include a list of all their stories, or a list of recommendations. I’ve yet to decide whether or not to include my stories here on Pretentious Self-Indulgence, but I definitely want to make posts for my “fic masterlist” and “fic recs.” (Look at me, speakin’ the language like a cool kid. ;P) They will, however, be “Friend-Locked,” meaning that only my friends on LiveJournal can see these posts. The majority of my LiveJournal friends are fellow Treemasons, and only the Treemasons (if anybody) are going to be interested in these lists, so I promise you - you’re not missing anything.
And now that I’ve enabled the Links category in the right-hand column, these lists will be easily accessible, even as they are buried under other less important things - like, what I’m doing with my life. ~.^ (And let me tell you, I am doing some things - but that, too, will be saved for another entry. This one is long enough as is.)
Q: Any other ideas for that Links category?
So far, only one - a glossary of Morg terminology. For example, I’ve used the made-up (to my knowledge) phrase moderate feminist - and although I’ve already defined it above, I may go a year without using the word, only for it to suddenly pop up in a monologue. And you, non-reader, might find yourself asking, “What does that mean again?” Well, a quick click over to the glossary, and all shall be answered. I’ll also include words or phrases that I use in an atypical context - an example would be Time and Space, in the context of, “What was your university major?” You know what time and space literally are - I hope - but as many times as I have busted out this lame joke in the past four years, there is always at least one person who still doesn’t get it. (So, to explain again, Time and Space means that I graduated with a Bachelor of University Studies. Ergo, Time Spent and Space Taken - but not in any one particular field.) And as I discover neat but uncommon words - like sororal - I’ll toss those in the mix as well.
(As a Whovian, I do wish my degree was literally in Time and Space. 6_6)
I’ve also decided, just this moment, that I’m also going to throw up a page with all my icons. (I upgraded my LiveJournal account so that I could have 15 icons instead of 6. Six is not enough!) I’ve made all of my icons myself and a lot of the fine detail gets lost when they’re shrunk down to 100 pixels. So, that’s another thing. This is fast turning into a list of promises I can’t keep.
Q: Can we list the broken promises now? This is a damn long post.
Yeah. I should have just called my LiveJournal TL;DR. (I only recently learned what that stands for.) So, here’s the list. Things that I plan to write about sooner or later or possibly never but hopefully eventually. 6_6
► A list of my occasional forays into the world of writing fanfiction. [Locked] [Updated 5/25/14: ... and fanart, and audio!]
► A list of my occasional forays into the world of reading fanfiction. [Locked]
► A glossary of words that have either been invented or reappropriated by me and my friends.
► A gallery of my LiveJournal icons, for further examination or mockery.
► Nicknames and Internet aliases - where’d they come from, and what do they mean? [Updated 5/4/14: find out here!]
► How my adventures in Internet-land have refreshed my memory in regards to the teenage pathos, re-kindling my interest in Corporate Nonconformist-style satire.
► Tangentially related to the prior topic, an exploration into the creation of alter egos which mock very specific areas of the corporate nonconformist culture, and an explanation of the “game” I created with Sega which allows us to pit angst against angst in a role-play setting. (Well, that was the original plan. My feelings on this topic have changed since then, and the post will now be about the negative karma and harsh self-realization that occurred as a result of what was essentially picking on people. Will include atonement in the form of an embarrassing angst-filled poem written far too recently. Set phasers to LULZ.)
► A thorough review of the crowd-funded independent movie Nerdquest, viewed through the lens of both an impartial critic and an excitable fangirl, as well as my purchasing experience. (They want reviews, and I’m game.)
► List ALL the MANGA! For my collection is legion. This is to be compared to the list I made in 2006.
► Similarly, list ALL the COMICS! Specifically, to highlight how my comic book collection quintupled in 2013. (Working at a comic book shop will do that to a person.)
► Last but certainly not least, important news concerning my life, and some major goings-on to come in the next few months. Let it be said that shit has gotten real. ~.^ [Updated 5/16/14: How real? THIS real!]
So! I won’t tell you what’s coming next, because it could be just about anything. It could even be nothing, depending on how quickly the SJW’s station snipers on the neighboring rooftops. If they succeed in striking me down, tell my loved ones that my last words were: “This is no way to encourage sororal behavior.”