the state of the morgan. (or, the big announcement! finally!)
(This is a slightly-edited version of the “note” that I’ve just posted on my Facebook. I removed some of the more personal bits, but the meat of the story is well intact. It’s a weight off my chest to finally get this out there! ^-^)
All right - I’ve put this off for long enough. Let’s talk about what’s been happening in my life. Or, to put it another way, this is the story all about how my life got flip-turned upside-down. So, I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there - or stay where you are, if you’re already seated - and I’ll tell you how I’m gonna become the Dame of a borough called Croydon.
(I promise, I will not tell the whole story using the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme. O_o)
Let’s begin at the beginning. At the end of March, I lost my job. I’d rather not talk specifics, nor do I hold any hard feelings against anyone but myself - but the ultimate truth between the lines is this: I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t trying. I mean, I liked my job as much or more as I’ve liked working any job. But, I was working in a career position with a job-to-job mentality. And as time passed, I felt more and more as though I was spinning my wheels, trying to move forward but not knowing how.
There’s that old saying, that God never closes a door without opening a window. Which, regardless of your religious or spiritual alignment, there’s a fundamental truth in that idiom - change fosters opportunity. And I knew, with this life-altering change, that this was the time, whether I liked it or not, to take advantage of the opportunities that it presented. I was out of a job - that door was closed, leaving me frustrated, ashamed, and panicked - but the window was open, and were I brave enough to climb through, I could fly away.
And I knew - now is the time.
I’m moving to London.
I’ve been an anglophile since I was roughly thirteen years old. When I fell in love with Genesis - yeah, yeah, laugh it up - I also fell in love with that quirky, beautiful, almost fantastic land that they hailed from. I remember when I was not-quite-fourteen, and my sister was married in rural Oregon. My family spent a short time both in seclusion on the coastline, and within the bustle of Portland. I spent the trip listening to Gabriel-era Genesis, basking in the warm rain, loving the bustle of the city, being delirious with joy at a literal record store... (Heh...) And in the overcast mist, with the waves crashing in the distance, walking under streetlights on wide, tiered sidewalks between massive buildings - I felt something come alive inside of me.
And yes, Portland and London are very different, but these things that captured my heart, they are very similar. When I went to London in 2012, and the plane descended through the clouds, giving me my first live view of the murky Thames, winding between ancient buildings, severed by bridges, flanked by nature and industry alike... That thing that I had felt in Portland, that sliver of a spiritual connection to a place and a time and even the idea of it all - it exploded with life in me. I was arriving in a place I’d never been, but I felt like I was coming home after a long time away.
Of course, that’s not why I’m going to London. (Although it certainly doesn’t hurt! ^-^ ) I’m going to London to be with Carlos Van Vegas, my boyfriend of nearly three years. ♥ (Actually, spending our anniversary together will be one of our first experiences upon my arrival!) Frankly, it’s time to find out whether we’ve got what it takes. To find out if we can work together despite our differences in age, culture, and general brain functionality. To find out if we can share a living space for an extended period of time without one of us trying to kill the other. To find out if this Morg can learn how to count out pence, and write dates in day/month/year format, and comprehend the size of a liter, and to remember to spell it litre, and so forth. And of course, to find out how I’m able to cope, knowing almost everyone I’ve ever loved is on a different continent.
I am, frankly, terrified. Thrilled, but terrified.
So, what’s my schedule looking like for the near future? Well, I will be relinquishing my beloved Shoebox, at the end of the month. If I could have gotten out at the end of April, I would have - but complications with my lease made it nearly impossible. So, I spent most of last month moping and worrying and being generally useless. This month, I’ve begun the stressful and daunting task of packing my many worldly possessions - not just to be moved, but to be placed in storage. (As I get down to the depths of my closets, I’ll no doubt find many things I don’t want need to keep, so I’ll be sharing pictures and inviting anybody who wants to stake a claim on random knick-knacks to do so, before they make their way to goodwill.) At month’s end, I’ll be staying at my parents’ house for a couple weeks, and hopefully sorting through my possessions that never made it to The Shoebox in the first place. 6_6
When do I actually leave? Well, that’s a bit complicated. First, I will be travelling cross-country - through a means yet to be determined - to spend a week in Philly with Sega. (What the heck, it’s my turn to visit, and she’s on the way, right?) While it will have to be the cheapest “vacation” ever - I’ve very little in the way of cash to spare - it will no doubt be great fun. My ideal is to arrive in Philly on Sunday, June 22 - the actual date that I leave depends on the mode of transportation I end up taking. The following Sunday, June 20, I fly out, and I’ll be arriving at Heathrow on June 30 around lunchtime, if all goes as planned. (Which, I know - nothing ever does. -_-)
And after that? It’s hard to say. One step at a time, I suppose. I can stay in Britain for up to six months without a Visa. Carlos and I have been researching how best I could obtain one. If I can get a Visa, then I can get a job, and establish myself as an individual, not being totally reliant on Carlos’s assistance every time I leave the house. 6_6
I’m sorry, truly sorry, that it’s taken me so long to make this announcement. I suppose, by declaring my actions to the world, I am now held accountable for them. Every step forward that I take, the decision that I’ve made becomes more real. And as somebody who struggles to make small, nitpicky choices, making major life-altering choices is an ordeal.
But rest assured, just because I’m moving doesn’t mean I’m inaccessible! In the digital age, staying in touch is only limited by my willingness to socialize. -_- As well as Facebook, I can also be reached on Skype, and I plan to get myself set up with another IM program as well, for the purposes of texting as well as online messaging. And of course, you can always find me here, on Pretentious Self-Indulgence. ^-^
I’m sure I’m forgetting something - or many things - that are of importance. But, it’s late (early?) and I was never good at remembering details to begin with. But, there is one thing I haven’t forgotten - and won’t forget. And that is how much I love and cherish you all. For everyone who has supported me so far, and everyone who will continue to support me in this absolutely insane endeavor, words cannot express my gratitude. I couldn’t have taken a single step forward without all the encouragement I’ve received. While not an easy path, it’s a necessary one. So, bear with me, send positive karma in my direction, and know that I am so glad for each and every one of you, this and every day.
Thank you. ♥
With that, I shall call it a night.
After all, there’s much to do!!~~ \^o^/
All right - I’ve put this off for long enough. Let’s talk about what’s been happening in my life. Or, to put it another way, this is the story all about how my life got flip-turned upside-down. So, I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there - or stay where you are, if you’re already seated - and I’ll tell you how I’m gonna become the Dame of a borough called Croydon.
(I promise, I will not tell the whole story using the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme. O_o)
Let’s begin at the beginning. At the end of March, I lost my job. I’d rather not talk specifics, nor do I hold any hard feelings against anyone but myself - but the ultimate truth between the lines is this: I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t trying. I mean, I liked my job as much or more as I’ve liked working any job. But, I was working in a career position with a job-to-job mentality. And as time passed, I felt more and more as though I was spinning my wheels, trying to move forward but not knowing how.
There’s that old saying, that God never closes a door without opening a window. Which, regardless of your religious or spiritual alignment, there’s a fundamental truth in that idiom - change fosters opportunity. And I knew, with this life-altering change, that this was the time, whether I liked it or not, to take advantage of the opportunities that it presented. I was out of a job - that door was closed, leaving me frustrated, ashamed, and panicked - but the window was open, and were I brave enough to climb through, I could fly away.
And I knew - now is the time.
I’m moving to London.
I’ve been an anglophile since I was roughly thirteen years old. When I fell in love with Genesis - yeah, yeah, laugh it up - I also fell in love with that quirky, beautiful, almost fantastic land that they hailed from. I remember when I was not-quite-fourteen, and my sister was married in rural Oregon. My family spent a short time both in seclusion on the coastline, and within the bustle of Portland. I spent the trip listening to Gabriel-era Genesis, basking in the warm rain, loving the bustle of the city, being delirious with joy at a literal record store... (Heh...) And in the overcast mist, with the waves crashing in the distance, walking under streetlights on wide, tiered sidewalks between massive buildings - I felt something come alive inside of me.
And yes, Portland and London are very different, but these things that captured my heart, they are very similar. When I went to London in 2012, and the plane descended through the clouds, giving me my first live view of the murky Thames, winding between ancient buildings, severed by bridges, flanked by nature and industry alike... That thing that I had felt in Portland, that sliver of a spiritual connection to a place and a time and even the idea of it all - it exploded with life in me. I was arriving in a place I’d never been, but I felt like I was coming home after a long time away.
Of course, that’s not why I’m going to London. (Although it certainly doesn’t hurt! ^-^ ) I’m going to London to be with Carlos Van Vegas, my boyfriend of nearly three years. ♥ (Actually, spending our anniversary together will be one of our first experiences upon my arrival!) Frankly, it’s time to find out whether we’ve got what it takes. To find out if we can work together despite our differences in age, culture, and general brain functionality. To find out if we can share a living space for an extended period of time without one of us trying to kill the other. To find out if this Morg can learn how to count out pence, and write dates in day/month/year format, and comprehend the size of a liter, and to remember to spell it litre, and so forth. And of course, to find out how I’m able to cope, knowing almost everyone I’ve ever loved is on a different continent.
I am, frankly, terrified. Thrilled, but terrified.
So, what’s my schedule looking like for the near future? Well, I will be relinquishing my beloved Shoebox, at the end of the month. If I could have gotten out at the end of April, I would have - but complications with my lease made it nearly impossible. So, I spent most of last month moping and worrying and being generally useless. This month, I’ve begun the stressful and daunting task of packing my many worldly possessions - not just to be moved, but to be placed in storage. (As I get down to the depths of my closets, I’ll no doubt find many things I don’t want need to keep, so I’ll be sharing pictures and inviting anybody who wants to stake a claim on random knick-knacks to do so, before they make their way to goodwill.) At month’s end, I’ll be staying at my parents’ house for a couple weeks, and hopefully sorting through my possessions that never made it to The Shoebox in the first place. 6_6
When do I actually leave? Well, that’s a bit complicated. First, I will be travelling cross-country - through a means yet to be determined - to spend a week in Philly with Sega. (What the heck, it’s my turn to visit, and she’s on the way, right?) While it will have to be the cheapest “vacation” ever - I’ve very little in the way of cash to spare - it will no doubt be great fun. My ideal is to arrive in Philly on Sunday, June 22 - the actual date that I leave depends on the mode of transportation I end up taking. The following Sunday, June 20, I fly out, and I’ll be arriving at Heathrow on June 30 around lunchtime, if all goes as planned. (Which, I know - nothing ever does. -_-)
And after that? It’s hard to say. One step at a time, I suppose. I can stay in Britain for up to six months without a Visa. Carlos and I have been researching how best I could obtain one. If I can get a Visa, then I can get a job, and establish myself as an individual, not being totally reliant on Carlos’s assistance every time I leave the house. 6_6
I’m sorry, truly sorry, that it’s taken me so long to make this announcement. I suppose, by declaring my actions to the world, I am now held accountable for them. Every step forward that I take, the decision that I’ve made becomes more real. And as somebody who struggles to make small, nitpicky choices, making major life-altering choices is an ordeal.
But rest assured, just because I’m moving doesn’t mean I’m inaccessible! In the digital age, staying in touch is only limited by my willingness to socialize. -_- As well as Facebook, I can also be reached on Skype, and I plan to get myself set up with another IM program as well, for the purposes of texting as well as online messaging. And of course, you can always find me here, on Pretentious Self-Indulgence. ^-^
I’m sure I’m forgetting something - or many things - that are of importance. But, it’s late (early?) and I was never good at remembering details to begin with. But, there is one thing I haven’t forgotten - and won’t forget. And that is how much I love and cherish you all. For everyone who has supported me so far, and everyone who will continue to support me in this absolutely insane endeavor, words cannot express my gratitude. I couldn’t have taken a single step forward without all the encouragement I’ve received. While not an easy path, it’s a necessary one. So, bear with me, send positive karma in my direction, and know that I am so glad for each and every one of you, this and every day.
Thank you. ♥
With that, I shall call it a night.
After all, there’s much to do!!~~ \^o^/