❀ inoublié (for prompt #6)
author: allbiaswrecked
title: Inoublié
prompt number: 6
rating: pg-13
length: ~4.6k
summary: Sehun's full of promises he couldn't keep and Kyungsoo just wants to believe that nothing is changing, even if the man he's sworn to love for as long as he shall breathe begins to change, slowly, right in front of him. He watches, he stays, he's not leaving. Ever. Unlike Sehun, Kyungsoo keeps his promises.
warnings: character death
notes: Special thanks to the mods who have been soooo patient for this fic and for its numerous html errors lol. Thank you to my cousin, M, for informing me about this sesoo fic fest and for molding my life into an ultimate trash for everything korean, yes I love you so much. Also, to whoever owns this prompt, I hope I lived up to your expectations!! Saranghaeyo~
Inoublié
“Hi, Sehun! I missed you.” Kyungsoo uttered under his breath.
It had been months since he last talked to Sehun because it was too hard for him to even look at his other half’s condition.
“I just want you to know that I have been doing well. And, oh, Sehunnie, I will go to Los Angeles to finally pursue my dream of becoming the world’s famous chef!” He exclaimed with his eyes full of sparkles and colors, just like the twinkling Christmas lights.
“By the way, Merry Christmas, Sehunnie. I know that you will not be able to get me a present but still, I have one for you. And hey, it is a song, Sehun! I have finished the piece that we used to work on.” Kyungsoo elatedly went for his guitar and brought the music sheet out of its folder. It was entitled, “I Knew This Would be Love”, and it was Sehun’s idea. He started writing songs ever since he was 12. His dad influenced him since he had been playing in a band for almost half of his life. But when his wife got pregnant with Sehun, he decided to stop singing and just stay in to take care of the ones who filled his life with love and joy. He passed the hobby of writing songs and poems to Sehun and then that was it. Writing became Sehun’s thing, a connection of his heart and his dad’s.
“I’ll start now, okay?” Kyungsoo then started to strum and let his small fingers to bring out the harmony and melody that he had been practicing lately. The air was filled with trill, rhythm, and strains as if there was an orchestra performance-amour is the perfect word. He played enthusiastically for Sehun and on cue, he began to sing.
“It's funny how we met on the telephone. You and I on the edge of the unknown. Oh, in only a moment's time. I knew my heart was yours and yours was mine.”
“When I saw you waiting at your place, something felt familiar in your face. Oh, you smiled as if to say, ‘I knew my heart was yours from the first day’”
Kyungsoo closed his eyes as he combed back through his memory. He started to remember how everything else started. Everything just seems to go in a full rewind and then there he was-back to the very beginning.
-----
“Shut up, Soo. I do believe that you need someone who will keep you away from spazzing from that guy.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.
“Excuse me; Jo In Sung is well-known because of how cool he is when he acts.” Kyungsoo defended.
“Whatever.” Baekhyun then again, rolled his eyes. “You need your other half.” Another eye roll.
“Whatever.” He said, drawing quotation marks in the air as if to annoy Baekhyun by imitating him.
Baekhyun and Kyungsoo have known each other for so long. They went from enemies to friends and from friends to almost siblings. But on a fateful day, there happened to be a twist of things and then-BOOM! They became the best of friends.
“AH! He’s so cool. I want to be an actor, too!” Kyungsoo hugged his penguin pillow tight.
“You can’t be an actor, Soo. Even I, myself, couldn’t determine what your expression is. When you’re happy, you look angry. When you’re sad, you look angry. When you’re excited, you still look angry! Whatever you do, your face looks so furious, and your eyes, ugh, your eyes are the worst! They can kill!” Baekhyun shook his head.
“Really? Then, go out of my house and never ever come back!” Kyungsoo threw his pillow towards Baekhyun which caught his face. This made Baekhyun stumble backwards onto the couch. Kyungsoo laughed at it and just continued spazzing and squealing. Right then, while Kyungsoo was busy with entertaining Jo In Sung’s non-existing feelings for him, Baekhyun’s phone suddenly rang.
“Hello?” Baekhyun answered on the 3rd ring.
“Baekhyun! Don’t give my number to Sehun. Ya! I’ll kill you.” It was Chanyeol.
“What’s with that loser?” He rolled his eyes.
“I’m filming and he keeps on bothering me about my girl in our group chat.” The giant explained.
“Who’s that chick, huh?”
“It’s none of your business, beagle.”
“Wow, okay, I’ll give it to him then. Bye.” Baekhyun was about to hang up the phone when Chanyeol shouted.
“NO. Okay, it’s the girl in that web drama that we have been watching.”
“Oh, the Incheon Gal? She’s not even that pretty.” Baekhyun snorted.
“Shut up your mouth, Baek. She is pretty and you’re just jealous.” Chanyeol snapped.
“Okay. Whatever. I won’t tell him. Go to work, loser.” Baekhyun ended the call and tossed the phone on the coffee table but decided to pick it up again to see who texted him although his instincts tell him that it is Sehun.
“Was that Luhan?” Kyungsoo asked.
“Nope, it’s the one you hate.” He said casually, focusing on his phone.
“Err.. Yeol?” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows and Baekhyun hummed in return to which Kyungsoo nodded in recognition to.
Little did Kyungsoo know that Baekhyun is planning something that will definitely change his life. Sehun texted Baekhyun asking if he could have Chanyeol’s new number but this beagle knew better. He gave Kyungsoo’s number instead saying, “Call him instead of flooding everyone’s notifications, loser.”
A minute after, there was a ding on Kyungsoo’s phone. It was an unknown number and knowing Kyungsoo, he doesn’t just pick up the phone but Baekhyun insisted that maybe it is something that is so important and he might not want to miss it. Baekhyun hit Kyungsoo in his weakest point possible which involves his work as a manuscript editor in a famous publishing house. The smart idea made Kyungsoo pick up the phone on the 7th ring.
“Hi, good afternoon.”
“Hey, can we please meet at the coffee shop right around the block?” The voice said.
“Wait, who is this?” Kyungsoo’s eyes bugged out.
“Don’t even try to trick me. Just meet me up. I’ll wait for you. I am sure you know the coffee shop I’m talking about. Okay. Bye.” The call ended, leaving Kyungsoo quite perplexed about what had just happened.
“Who was that?” Baekhyun tried to hide his snicker.
“I don’t even know. But he told me that I should meet him at the coffee shop around the block.” He curled his lips.
“Oh, the Starbucks in 170 Apgujeong-ro. That’s fine, let’s just walk, you know.” Baekhyun shrugged.
“What the actual hell, Baekhyun? You are definitely not going to let me walk for 10 minutes just to get there. The sun! You do know I hate it.” Kyungsoo protested.
“That explains your Snow White skin.”
“Whatever. We will not walk.” Kyungsoo insisted.
“Okay. What a brat!” Baekhyun rolled his eyes. Both of the decided to just take a cab since it does not really cost that much. The next reason is obvious and it is because of Kyungsoo’s own fear of getting his flawless milk-like skin ruined. “I could make a living with it.” Is what he would always say.
It was a quick ride and they did not even notice that they have actually arrived. The sight of the coffee shop brought back the reason why they were even there. And that definitely sent chills down Kyungsoo’s spine.
“Baekhyun, I’ve changed my mind. I won’t go anymore.”
“Shut your ass, Soo. You made me pay for the cab for a reason, so stick with it unless you would want me to cook in your house for weeks.” Baekhyun threatened.
“And I would not let you burn my hard-earned flat. Okay, let’s go.” Kyungsoo rushed inside, leaving Baekhyun rolling his eyes to death. The aroma seemed to calm Kyungsoo because he was not even bothering to look around to see who the caller was and if he was even around. Baekhyun, on the other hand, tried his best to get away with Kyungsoo’s phone until he successfully fished it out from the table.
“Soo, I will just go to the comfort room.” Baekhyun said flatly, to which Kyungsoo hummed to in recognition. Poor Kyungsoo didn’t even know that Baekhyun texted the caller saying, “I am seated at the far left of the coffee shop.”
It was not long until the caller showed up and tapped Kyungsoo’s shoulder. He then turned around just to see a guy who is tall, thin, and…. cute. Or at least that was what Kyungsoo thought.
“Hi.” Kyungsoo said, feeling the thick lump in his throat. “Who are you?”
“I’m Sehun. Where is Chanyeol?” Sehun asked, sharing the same awkward glances with Kyungsoo.
“There you are!” Baekhyun exclaimed. “Okay, enjoy your date. I’m going to leave now.” He had a shit-eating grin on his face as if to annoy the already annoyed Kyungsoo.
“What the hell was that?” Sehun deadpanned. “Is this a frame up?”
“I do think so.” Kyungsoo stood up. “Anyway, I’m sorry for my stupid friend. I think I should leave now because apparently, I’m not the one you need. I’m just going to give Chan a call if you-“
“No, it’s fine. Let’s just talk. I mean, let’s frame them up too.” Sehun cut Kyungsoo off, making the short guy sit down.
“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo smirked.
“You know, pretend that we actually got along. Although I do think that we could really get along.”
“I like the idea.” Kyungsoo shrugged.
“So, hi, I am Kyungsoo. And you are?”
“Sehun. I am Sehun. So, it was your number then? The one that I called?” Sehun smiled nervously.
“Yes. But it’s okay. I mean, I wanted to go out my flat, too. Turns out, the frame up is well-planned.” Kyungsoo laughed at how stupid his lie sounded.
“Well, at least, if it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t know each other, you think?”
“I think so. I mean, this is actually a good idea.” Kyungsoo smiled at Sehun, thinking, “Yes, of course this is a good idea. This creature is-goddamn. All my life, my mind has been revolving around Jo In Sung. I never knew there is a guy named Sehun,too.”
------
“Sometimes, you meet a person then you’ll just click. No need for months and months of chatting, late night phone calls, or even coffee dates. You actually just do. And it indeed is a really soothing feeling. It’s a miracle.” Kyungsoo typed on his blog, smiling as if he’s the happiest person in the world. It had been months since Sehun and Kyungsoo met, but everything seems to linger just like the first time for Kyungsoo. He started updating his blog everyday just because Sehun complimented the way he writes and the way he plays with words. Sehun had been a diehard fan of Kyungsoo’s blog, which made Kyungsoo giggle every time Sehun checks out on his blog posts. Sehun, on the other hand, seems to be so confused with what he feels with Kyungsoo. He feels it. He feels that Kyungsoo writes for him, and he’s actually pretty sure that he appreciates it. But he can’t help but ask himself, “Does this mean I’m falling for him, too? But no, I’m straight. I can’t bend. But also, no suspect admits that he’s guilty with a crime.”
“How is this possible, hyung? I’m straight. I go to the gym to attract ladies with my guns. This is not happening.” Sehun could not keep still as he fiddles with his pillow.
“Or more like, your non-existent guns.” Minseok showed off his biceps to the younger guy.
“Whatever. But, damn, what does this mean?” He shut his eyes, desperately searching for the answer as if it’s at the back of his eyelid.
“Why? What do you feel when you’re with him? Like, precisely.” Jongdae plopped down on the couch, just right beside Sehun.
“When we talked on the phone, for hours, I just feel happy. Plainly happy. I don’t feel bored even when we started talking at like 8 pm and finish at 3 am, it’s all okay with me. We never run out of topics. He’s also really funny. When we chat, he sends me his literary pieces, and sometimes, we would send crazy selfies to each other, especially on Snapchat. When we’re together, like you know, coffee dates or dinner or whatever, I just feel secure and safe. I mean, I could even go grocery shopping with him. I don’t care, as long as he’s with me, and I’m with him, I’m glad.” Sehun explained, not knowing that he’s been smiling like a fool.
“Confirmed. Right, Jongdae?” Minseok pointed at Jongdae.
“Right.” Jongdae nodded. “You are officially bent.”
“Am I?” Sehun looked up to his hyungs with puppy eyes.
“Can you just not. It’s official. No more questions. You’re in love.” Minseok threw a heart-shaped pillow to Sehun.
“Whatever.” Sehun rolled his eyes. “I’ll admit it. I’m in love with him.” He added.
-----
“This is not happening.” Kyungsoo screamed at the top of his lungs upon seeing Sehun’s message.
“Why? What happened?” Baekhyun raised his brows while bingeing on his fish cakes.
“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” Kyungsoo’s face turned red as though he’s a living red pepper.
“What? Jo In Sung?” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.
“Sehun. Is. OH MY GOD.” Kyungsoo shouted nonstop which made Baekhyun throw the Pororo stuffed toy at him.
“What is it with the guy? Can you just spill it out? I won’t be surprised if your neighbors come knocking at your door. Scandalous freak.”
“Sehun is asking me out. Like for real.” Kyungsoo faced Baekhyun with tears flooding his eyes.
“Why the hell are you crying?” Baekhyun ran up to Kyungsoo and hugged him.
“Tears of joy, freak.” Kyungsoo wiped his tears with his sleeves.
“Answer him already and stop the drama, Soo. You’re much more of a lady than BoA.”
“Okay, and I’m prettier than her. I’ll say yes. Oh my god.” Kyungsoo typed yes as fast as he could just so Sehun wouldn’t think he’s being rejected.
“Okay he said that we’d go out together. What will I wear?” Kyungsoo tried on every black sweater he has.
“What the heck, Soo. It’s not the day of the dead. Why are you trying on all your black sweaters? It’s not like one is different from the other.” Baekhyun cleared all the black sweaters that were scattered on the floor and took out all the fancy ones.
“Help me, Baekyunnie.” Kyungsoo pleaded.
“I won’t if you’ll keep on picking on your pajama shirts. How disgusting.”
“Hey, my pajama shirts are cute. Cuter than you.” Kyungsoo glared at him.
“What? Who are you? Daehan, Minguk, Manse? Damn, Soo. Act like a man.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.
“Okay, Your Highness.” Kyungsoo joined the eye-rolling squad.
-----
“Isn’t the song beautiful, Sehun?” Kyungsoo puts down his guitar and looks at Sehun for a little while. He sighs as tears begins to gather on his left eye. “What if that didn’t happen? What could have been, what should have been, what would have been? Oh, Sehun, you will always be my biggest what if.” He rested his head on his palms, trying hard not to let his tears fall completely. “I miss you already, Sehun. I really do.”
-----
Years went by so quickly and they didn’t know that they’ll last this long. “Sehunnie, happy anniversary.” Kyungsoo hugged Sehun from behind despite of how shorts his arms were, causing him to not reach his hands. “You’ve been growing so thin lately. Have you been stressing yourself? You know, I could help you with your manuscripts.”
“No, I’m fine. Maybe I had been stressed lately. I’ll take care of myself. Don’t worry. Happy 18th year, Soo. I knew from the first day that we’d last.” Sehun faced Kyungsoo and held up his hands. “I just want to ask you something.” Sehun kneeled in front of him and pulled out a small red box. “I had been waiting for this very moment. Kyungsoo, will you marry me?”
“Why, yes! I will, Sehun, I will! I love you!” Kyungsoo jumped and hugged Sehun as tight as he could just so he would pass out because of the rapid beating of his overly touched heart.
“I love you, Soo. I really do.” Sehun kissed Kyungsoo’s cheeks over and over again. He hugged him but he suddenly felt like all the problems in the world had been stacked on his shoulders. He remembered what his doctor said all of a sudden. ‘Sehun, I don’t want to be the carrier of bad news but live as much as you, son. Your days are numbered. You have a stage 4 brain cancer.’ A lone tear fell from Sehun’s eye and all he could think about was, “How about Kyungsoo? Wouldn’t it be unfair if I wouldn’t tell him? But wouldn’t it also be nice to just see the one you love happy with you? Without any complications to worry about? How is it going to be if that time will come? How is Kyungsoo supposed to live without me? I love him too much to leave him all alone in this cruel world. I love him too much to let him know that his lover is sick and that will only bring him stress as well. But what will happen to our promise of forever? What will happen to the family tree that we’ve been branching out? What will happen to him…… if I’ll just die?”
-----
“It’s you 19th anniversary tomorrow. What are your plans?” Baekhyun sipped on his black tea.
“I don’t know too. He had been so cold lately. I don’t even know why.”
“What is happening to him? He’s been like this the whole year round. He’s been breaking his promises; he’s been staying out so lately. Do you think he has like… an outside fling or something?” Baekhyun worriedly stated.
“No, Baekhyun. I know him too much, I know he wouldn’t do that.” Kyungsoo glared at him.
“You’ll never know, Soo. Maybe you’ve been blind all along.” Baekhyun pushed the matter until Kyungsoo was on the edge.
“You know what? Can you just not? You don’t know him. And I know him. I’ll go home. He might be waiting already.” Kyungsoo rushed out of Baekhyun flat leaving him startled.
“Hello, Sehun? Are you home already? Come pick me up?” Kyungsoo called Sehun up since it had been snowing and he can’t drive.
“Okay, I’ll be there, okay? Just wait for me. Promise.”
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you.” Kyungsoo hung up the phone.
“Hey, Soo. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you with that matter. I was kidding.” Baekhyun came running to Kyungsoo.
“It was a joke and it isn’t funny.” Kyungsoo said flatly.
“I’m sorry. I really do. We’re the best of friends we can’t be like this. I’m so sorry.” Baekhyun bowed his head like a kid and looked on the ground.
“It’s okay, Baekhyunnie! Just don’t do it again.” Kyungsoo punched his shoulders lightly and giggle.
“Why are you here by the way?”
“I called up Sehun and he said he’ll pick me up. He promised.” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows upon saying the word promise because it sounds bitter on his mouth but he just played along.
“That’s it. Promise. Again. Come on, let’s go grab some coffee. We’ll freeze to death here.” Baekhyun grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm and went to the coffee shop at the ground floor of Baekhyun’s condominium.
Both of them had been reminiscing the memories they had even before Sehun entered Kyungsoo’s life. They talked about they’re first ever trip to Busan with only the two of them and without chaperon. Hours passed but there was still no sign of Sehun, to which both of them felt nervous about. Kyungsoo had been calling him up but he won’t pick up.
“Hey, don’t overthink. He’ll be here. He promised.” Baekhyun shoot Kyungsoo a reassuring smile.
“That’s the problem. He promised.” Kyungsoo faced him with a sad smile. He sighed but he felt relieved when there was a ding on his phone and it was Sehun.
“Go answer it. Maybe he’s on the way.” Baekhyun winked at him.
“Hello? Sehun?” Kyungsoo smiled the very moment he picked the call up.
“Hello? Is this Soo?” Another person answered. The caller’s voice is too deep and husky, and definitely not Sehun.
“Yes. Who are you? Where is Sehun?”
“This is Jongdae. He was rushed to the hospital just 8 blocks away from his office. Please hurry up.” Jongdae hang up the phone, leaving Kyungsoo confused to death.
“Kyungsoo, we should hurry up.” Baekhyun stood up from the chair he’d been sitting on for a couple of minutes. “I’ll drive us there.”
“Let’s go. Please.” Baekhyun and Kyungsoo hurriedly went to Baekhyun’s car.
15 minutes after, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun came rushing to the information desk of the hospital.
“Oh Sehun.” Kyungsoo’s voice went out shaky when the head nurse asked him about the patient’s name.
“Sorry, Mr. But he’s currently at the ICU. He met an accident. The person who was believed to be a guy ran away even before the police got to the area. He’s case is serious, Mr. Do. Please talk to the doctor in-charge for further details.” The head nurse shot him an apologetic nod. The two went ahead to the ICU. They tried to go in but the doctors didn’t allow them. Much more to his grieve and disappointment, he ended up crying it all out since that’s all he can do. Baekhyun, on the other hand, tried so hard to calm his friend down. He looked at his watch only to see that there is only an hour left before Kyungsoo and Sehun anniversary.
“Kyungsoo, stay strong. It’s everything you can give Sehun right now.” Baekhyun caressed Kyungsoo’s back. A doctor went out of the room and asked if Kyungsoo is a relative.
“I am his… I am his fiancé.” Kyungsoo wiped the lone tear welling up on his left eye.
“His condition is severe. I’m afraid he has a 50% chance of recovering.” The doctor pulled down his mask and placed his right hand on Kyungsoo’s left shoulder. “He’s conscious now but he has all these apparatus attached to his body. You can go in.”
Kyungsoo and Baekhyun wore the prescribed hospital gown and mask. Kyungsoo’s tears fell uncontrollably at the sight of Sehun’s bruised body and wounded face. He wanted to touch Sehun but he just couldn’t bear the condition of Sehun at the moment. Although Sehun is conscious, Kyungsoo’s heart felt like dying.
“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry.” Sehun heaved a breath. “I promised. I wanted to make it up to you. I forgot to keep track of my time and saw that it was already late. I immediately went on my way and then a van hit my car. I’m sorry. I wasn’t careful enough.” He coughed.
“Sehun, please don’t apologize. None of this is your fault.” Kyungsoo held up his hands to his mouth. “Just promise me one thing, Sehun. Just one thing. Please… please don’t leave me. Please try to endure the pain. Sehun, I can’t lose you. I love you.”
“I love you, Soo. I promise I will try.” Sehun heaved a long breath and looked at Kyungsoo one last time.
“Be happy for me, Soo.” He muttered under his breath before closing his eyes. He knew that he couldn’t make it up to his promises but he promised. He promised that he would live. He promise that he wouldn’t leave Kyungsoo. But the things is Sehun is not good at making promises.
“Wait, Sehun, don’t. Please.” The doctors sent Kyungsoo and Baekhyun out of the ICU. “Baekhyun, I can’t live without him. I hope he keeps his promise. He promised, Baek. You heard it. He promised.” Kyungsoo fell apart when the doors closed.
“Kyungsoo, let’s just wait, okay? I’m sorry, Soo.” Baekhyun helped his friend to get up and sit. Almost an hour passed before the same doctor whose name was Kim Jongin showed up again, this time with an apologetic face.
“Dr. Kim, is everything alright now? Is he conscious? Can we see him?”
“He was diagnosed with brain cancer a year ago. Do you know something about this?” Dr. Kim furrowed his brows.
“What?” Kyungsoo half-shouted. “I didn’t know about this.”
“He has that, and… it worsen his condition. We did everything we could, Mr. Do, but…”
“But what? Where is he?”
“He’s… he just… his body gave up.” One sentence, four words and his world shattered. “But he promised.” Kyungsoo cannot talk clearly anymore because of his sobs.
“We found a letter on his wallet. Here it is. I’m sorry, Mr. Do.” Dr. Kim went back to the ICU to remove the apparatus attached to Sehun. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were left to read the letter Sehun wrote for Kyungsoo.
“Dearest Kyungsoo,
I don’t actually know why I’m writing this letter to you. I just wanted to say sorry for everything. I’m sorry for not keeping my promises. I’m sorry for being away for too long. I’m sorry for lying. I did this because I wanted you to get used to me not being with you. I’m not breaking up or what. I just didn’t want it to be hard for you. I don’t want to leave you, ever. But it was fate. I was diagnosed of brain cancer. I’ve grown weak, that’s why I couldn’t go out of my flat late at night. I have to rest but I also didn’t want you to feel bad. I tried everything just to be able to live longer but my days were numbered already and I can’t do anything about it any longer. Next, I wanted to say thank you. Literally for everything. You kept me going even when I really wanted to just give up on myself. You helped me get through tough times. You had me at my worst but still thought that I am the best. You could fall for anyone but you chose to fall for me. Third, I hope that when I’m gone, you’d still keep in mind that I’ll always be here for you. I’m always watching over you, cheering for you. We may cancel our wedding if I didn’t get to recover from this cancer, but we can never stop loving each other. Always remember that I love your every bits with every fiber of my being. I always have, and I always will.
Sehun x
-----
“I miss you, Sehunnie. I really do. I know you’re in a better place, but I still can’t help but wish you’re with me right now.” Kyungsoo cried in the hope that everything would eventually go back to normal even after losing his other half. He fell to his knees, crying in front of Sehun’s grave, wishing that all of these were just bad dreams. But it isn’t. It is reality.
“Ah, Sehun, it’s almost time for my flight. Wish me luck. I’ll do this for you. I love you, Sehunnie. I love you.” Kyungsoo stood up, and retrieve his duffel bag. “Don’t worry. I’ll visit you every month through Baekhyun. I’ll come back in 2 years, Sehun. It won’t take long.” He smiled and waved goodbye as if Sehun was standing there, looking after him. Kyungsoo sighed and went on his way. Yes, Sehun is not with him physically, but his heart holds Sehun’s memories close to him.
title: Inoublié
prompt number: 6
rating: pg-13
length: ~4.6k
summary: Sehun's full of promises he couldn't keep and Kyungsoo just wants to believe that nothing is changing, even if the man he's sworn to love for as long as he shall breathe begins to change, slowly, right in front of him. He watches, he stays, he's not leaving. Ever. Unlike Sehun, Kyungsoo keeps his promises.
warnings: character death
notes: Special thanks to the mods who have been soooo patient for this fic and for its numerous html errors lol. Thank you to my cousin, M, for informing me about this sesoo fic fest and for molding my life into an ultimate trash for everything korean, yes I love you so much. Also, to whoever owns this prompt, I hope I lived up to your expectations!! Saranghaeyo~
Inoublié
“Hi, Sehun! I missed you.” Kyungsoo uttered under his breath.
It had been months since he last talked to Sehun because it was too hard for him to even look at his other half’s condition.
“I just want you to know that I have been doing well. And, oh, Sehunnie, I will go to Los Angeles to finally pursue my dream of becoming the world’s famous chef!” He exclaimed with his eyes full of sparkles and colors, just like the twinkling Christmas lights.
“By the way, Merry Christmas, Sehunnie. I know that you will not be able to get me a present but still, I have one for you. And hey, it is a song, Sehun! I have finished the piece that we used to work on.” Kyungsoo elatedly went for his guitar and brought the music sheet out of its folder. It was entitled, “I Knew This Would be Love”, and it was Sehun’s idea. He started writing songs ever since he was 12. His dad influenced him since he had been playing in a band for almost half of his life. But when his wife got pregnant with Sehun, he decided to stop singing and just stay in to take care of the ones who filled his life with love and joy. He passed the hobby of writing songs and poems to Sehun and then that was it. Writing became Sehun’s thing, a connection of his heart and his dad’s.
“I’ll start now, okay?” Kyungsoo then started to strum and let his small fingers to bring out the harmony and melody that he had been practicing lately. The air was filled with trill, rhythm, and strains as if there was an orchestra performance-amour is the perfect word. He played enthusiastically for Sehun and on cue, he began to sing.
“It's funny how we met on the telephone. You and I on the edge of the unknown. Oh, in only a moment's time. I knew my heart was yours and yours was mine.”
“When I saw you waiting at your place, something felt familiar in your face. Oh, you smiled as if to say, ‘I knew my heart was yours from the first day’”
Kyungsoo closed his eyes as he combed back through his memory. He started to remember how everything else started. Everything just seems to go in a full rewind and then there he was-back to the very beginning.
-----
“Shut up, Soo. I do believe that you need someone who will keep you away from spazzing from that guy.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.
“Excuse me; Jo In Sung is well-known because of how cool he is when he acts.” Kyungsoo defended.
“Whatever.” Baekhyun then again, rolled his eyes. “You need your other half.” Another eye roll.
“Whatever.” He said, drawing quotation marks in the air as if to annoy Baekhyun by imitating him.
Baekhyun and Kyungsoo have known each other for so long. They went from enemies to friends and from friends to almost siblings. But on a fateful day, there happened to be a twist of things and then-BOOM! They became the best of friends.
“AH! He’s so cool. I want to be an actor, too!” Kyungsoo hugged his penguin pillow tight.
“You can’t be an actor, Soo. Even I, myself, couldn’t determine what your expression is. When you’re happy, you look angry. When you’re sad, you look angry. When you’re excited, you still look angry! Whatever you do, your face looks so furious, and your eyes, ugh, your eyes are the worst! They can kill!” Baekhyun shook his head.
“Really? Then, go out of my house and never ever come back!” Kyungsoo threw his pillow towards Baekhyun which caught his face. This made Baekhyun stumble backwards onto the couch. Kyungsoo laughed at it and just continued spazzing and squealing. Right then, while Kyungsoo was busy with entertaining Jo In Sung’s non-existing feelings for him, Baekhyun’s phone suddenly rang.
“Hello?” Baekhyun answered on the 3rd ring.
“Baekhyun! Don’t give my number to Sehun. Ya! I’ll kill you.” It was Chanyeol.
“What’s with that loser?” He rolled his eyes.
“I’m filming and he keeps on bothering me about my girl in our group chat.” The giant explained.
“Who’s that chick, huh?”
“It’s none of your business, beagle.”
“Wow, okay, I’ll give it to him then. Bye.” Baekhyun was about to hang up the phone when Chanyeol shouted.
“NO. Okay, it’s the girl in that web drama that we have been watching.”
“Oh, the Incheon Gal? She’s not even that pretty.” Baekhyun snorted.
“Shut up your mouth, Baek. She is pretty and you’re just jealous.” Chanyeol snapped.
“Okay. Whatever. I won’t tell him. Go to work, loser.” Baekhyun ended the call and tossed the phone on the coffee table but decided to pick it up again to see who texted him although his instincts tell him that it is Sehun.
“Was that Luhan?” Kyungsoo asked.
“Nope, it’s the one you hate.” He said casually, focusing on his phone.
“Err.. Yeol?” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows and Baekhyun hummed in return to which Kyungsoo nodded in recognition to.
Little did Kyungsoo know that Baekhyun is planning something that will definitely change his life. Sehun texted Baekhyun asking if he could have Chanyeol’s new number but this beagle knew better. He gave Kyungsoo’s number instead saying, “Call him instead of flooding everyone’s notifications, loser.”
A minute after, there was a ding on Kyungsoo’s phone. It was an unknown number and knowing Kyungsoo, he doesn’t just pick up the phone but Baekhyun insisted that maybe it is something that is so important and he might not want to miss it. Baekhyun hit Kyungsoo in his weakest point possible which involves his work as a manuscript editor in a famous publishing house. The smart idea made Kyungsoo pick up the phone on the 7th ring.
“Hi, good afternoon.”
“Hey, can we please meet at the coffee shop right around the block?” The voice said.
“Wait, who is this?” Kyungsoo’s eyes bugged out.
“Don’t even try to trick me. Just meet me up. I’ll wait for you. I am sure you know the coffee shop I’m talking about. Okay. Bye.” The call ended, leaving Kyungsoo quite perplexed about what had just happened.
“Who was that?” Baekhyun tried to hide his snicker.
“I don’t even know. But he told me that I should meet him at the coffee shop around the block.” He curled his lips.
“Oh, the Starbucks in 170 Apgujeong-ro. That’s fine, let’s just walk, you know.” Baekhyun shrugged.
“What the actual hell, Baekhyun? You are definitely not going to let me walk for 10 minutes just to get there. The sun! You do know I hate it.” Kyungsoo protested.
“That explains your Snow White skin.”
“Whatever. We will not walk.” Kyungsoo insisted.
“Okay. What a brat!” Baekhyun rolled his eyes. Both of the decided to just take a cab since it does not really cost that much. The next reason is obvious and it is because of Kyungsoo’s own fear of getting his flawless milk-like skin ruined. “I could make a living with it.” Is what he would always say.
It was a quick ride and they did not even notice that they have actually arrived. The sight of the coffee shop brought back the reason why they were even there. And that definitely sent chills down Kyungsoo’s spine.
“Baekhyun, I’ve changed my mind. I won’t go anymore.”
“Shut your ass, Soo. You made me pay for the cab for a reason, so stick with it unless you would want me to cook in your house for weeks.” Baekhyun threatened.
“And I would not let you burn my hard-earned flat. Okay, let’s go.” Kyungsoo rushed inside, leaving Baekhyun rolling his eyes to death. The aroma seemed to calm Kyungsoo because he was not even bothering to look around to see who the caller was and if he was even around. Baekhyun, on the other hand, tried his best to get away with Kyungsoo’s phone until he successfully fished it out from the table.
“Soo, I will just go to the comfort room.” Baekhyun said flatly, to which Kyungsoo hummed to in recognition. Poor Kyungsoo didn’t even know that Baekhyun texted the caller saying, “I am seated at the far left of the coffee shop.”
It was not long until the caller showed up and tapped Kyungsoo’s shoulder. He then turned around just to see a guy who is tall, thin, and…. cute. Or at least that was what Kyungsoo thought.
“Hi.” Kyungsoo said, feeling the thick lump in his throat. “Who are you?”
“I’m Sehun. Where is Chanyeol?” Sehun asked, sharing the same awkward glances with Kyungsoo.
“There you are!” Baekhyun exclaimed. “Okay, enjoy your date. I’m going to leave now.” He had a shit-eating grin on his face as if to annoy the already annoyed Kyungsoo.
“What the hell was that?” Sehun deadpanned. “Is this a frame up?”
“I do think so.” Kyungsoo stood up. “Anyway, I’m sorry for my stupid friend. I think I should leave now because apparently, I’m not the one you need. I’m just going to give Chan a call if you-“
“No, it’s fine. Let’s just talk. I mean, let’s frame them up too.” Sehun cut Kyungsoo off, making the short guy sit down.
“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo smirked.
“You know, pretend that we actually got along. Although I do think that we could really get along.”
“I like the idea.” Kyungsoo shrugged.
“So, hi, I am Kyungsoo. And you are?”
“Sehun. I am Sehun. So, it was your number then? The one that I called?” Sehun smiled nervously.
“Yes. But it’s okay. I mean, I wanted to go out my flat, too. Turns out, the frame up is well-planned.” Kyungsoo laughed at how stupid his lie sounded.
“Well, at least, if it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t know each other, you think?”
“I think so. I mean, this is actually a good idea.” Kyungsoo smiled at Sehun, thinking, “Yes, of course this is a good idea. This creature is-goddamn. All my life, my mind has been revolving around Jo In Sung. I never knew there is a guy named Sehun,too.”
------
“Sometimes, you meet a person then you’ll just click. No need for months and months of chatting, late night phone calls, or even coffee dates. You actually just do. And it indeed is a really soothing feeling. It’s a miracle.” Kyungsoo typed on his blog, smiling as if he’s the happiest person in the world. It had been months since Sehun and Kyungsoo met, but everything seems to linger just like the first time for Kyungsoo. He started updating his blog everyday just because Sehun complimented the way he writes and the way he plays with words. Sehun had been a diehard fan of Kyungsoo’s blog, which made Kyungsoo giggle every time Sehun checks out on his blog posts. Sehun, on the other hand, seems to be so confused with what he feels with Kyungsoo. He feels it. He feels that Kyungsoo writes for him, and he’s actually pretty sure that he appreciates it. But he can’t help but ask himself, “Does this mean I’m falling for him, too? But no, I’m straight. I can’t bend. But also, no suspect admits that he’s guilty with a crime.”
“How is this possible, hyung? I’m straight. I go to the gym to attract ladies with my guns. This is not happening.” Sehun could not keep still as he fiddles with his pillow.
“Or more like, your non-existent guns.” Minseok showed off his biceps to the younger guy.
“Whatever. But, damn, what does this mean?” He shut his eyes, desperately searching for the answer as if it’s at the back of his eyelid.
“Why? What do you feel when you’re with him? Like, precisely.” Jongdae plopped down on the couch, just right beside Sehun.
“When we talked on the phone, for hours, I just feel happy. Plainly happy. I don’t feel bored even when we started talking at like 8 pm and finish at 3 am, it’s all okay with me. We never run out of topics. He’s also really funny. When we chat, he sends me his literary pieces, and sometimes, we would send crazy selfies to each other, especially on Snapchat. When we’re together, like you know, coffee dates or dinner or whatever, I just feel secure and safe. I mean, I could even go grocery shopping with him. I don’t care, as long as he’s with me, and I’m with him, I’m glad.” Sehun explained, not knowing that he’s been smiling like a fool.
“Confirmed. Right, Jongdae?” Minseok pointed at Jongdae.
“Right.” Jongdae nodded. “You are officially bent.”
“Am I?” Sehun looked up to his hyungs with puppy eyes.
“Can you just not. It’s official. No more questions. You’re in love.” Minseok threw a heart-shaped pillow to Sehun.
“Whatever.” Sehun rolled his eyes. “I’ll admit it. I’m in love with him.” He added.
-----
“This is not happening.” Kyungsoo screamed at the top of his lungs upon seeing Sehun’s message.
“Why? What happened?” Baekhyun raised his brows while bingeing on his fish cakes.
“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” Kyungsoo’s face turned red as though he’s a living red pepper.
“What? Jo In Sung?” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.
“Sehun. Is. OH MY GOD.” Kyungsoo shouted nonstop which made Baekhyun throw the Pororo stuffed toy at him.
“What is it with the guy? Can you just spill it out? I won’t be surprised if your neighbors come knocking at your door. Scandalous freak.”
“Sehun is asking me out. Like for real.” Kyungsoo faced Baekhyun with tears flooding his eyes.
“Why the hell are you crying?” Baekhyun ran up to Kyungsoo and hugged him.
“Tears of joy, freak.” Kyungsoo wiped his tears with his sleeves.
“Answer him already and stop the drama, Soo. You’re much more of a lady than BoA.”
“Okay, and I’m prettier than her. I’ll say yes. Oh my god.” Kyungsoo typed yes as fast as he could just so Sehun wouldn’t think he’s being rejected.
“Okay he said that we’d go out together. What will I wear?” Kyungsoo tried on every black sweater he has.
“What the heck, Soo. It’s not the day of the dead. Why are you trying on all your black sweaters? It’s not like one is different from the other.” Baekhyun cleared all the black sweaters that were scattered on the floor and took out all the fancy ones.
“Help me, Baekyunnie.” Kyungsoo pleaded.
“I won’t if you’ll keep on picking on your pajama shirts. How disgusting.”
“Hey, my pajama shirts are cute. Cuter than you.” Kyungsoo glared at him.
“What? Who are you? Daehan, Minguk, Manse? Damn, Soo. Act like a man.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.
“Okay, Your Highness.” Kyungsoo joined the eye-rolling squad.
-----
“Isn’t the song beautiful, Sehun?” Kyungsoo puts down his guitar and looks at Sehun for a little while. He sighs as tears begins to gather on his left eye. “What if that didn’t happen? What could have been, what should have been, what would have been? Oh, Sehun, you will always be my biggest what if.” He rested his head on his palms, trying hard not to let his tears fall completely. “I miss you already, Sehun. I really do.”
-----
Years went by so quickly and they didn’t know that they’ll last this long. “Sehunnie, happy anniversary.” Kyungsoo hugged Sehun from behind despite of how shorts his arms were, causing him to not reach his hands. “You’ve been growing so thin lately. Have you been stressing yourself? You know, I could help you with your manuscripts.”
“No, I’m fine. Maybe I had been stressed lately. I’ll take care of myself. Don’t worry. Happy 18th year, Soo. I knew from the first day that we’d last.” Sehun faced Kyungsoo and held up his hands. “I just want to ask you something.” Sehun kneeled in front of him and pulled out a small red box. “I had been waiting for this very moment. Kyungsoo, will you marry me?”
“Why, yes! I will, Sehun, I will! I love you!” Kyungsoo jumped and hugged Sehun as tight as he could just so he would pass out because of the rapid beating of his overly touched heart.
“I love you, Soo. I really do.” Sehun kissed Kyungsoo’s cheeks over and over again. He hugged him but he suddenly felt like all the problems in the world had been stacked on his shoulders. He remembered what his doctor said all of a sudden. ‘Sehun, I don’t want to be the carrier of bad news but live as much as you, son. Your days are numbered. You have a stage 4 brain cancer.’ A lone tear fell from Sehun’s eye and all he could think about was, “How about Kyungsoo? Wouldn’t it be unfair if I wouldn’t tell him? But wouldn’t it also be nice to just see the one you love happy with you? Without any complications to worry about? How is it going to be if that time will come? How is Kyungsoo supposed to live without me? I love him too much to leave him all alone in this cruel world. I love him too much to let him know that his lover is sick and that will only bring him stress as well. But what will happen to our promise of forever? What will happen to the family tree that we’ve been branching out? What will happen to him…… if I’ll just die?”
-----
“It’s you 19th anniversary tomorrow. What are your plans?” Baekhyun sipped on his black tea.
“I don’t know too. He had been so cold lately. I don’t even know why.”
“What is happening to him? He’s been like this the whole year round. He’s been breaking his promises; he’s been staying out so lately. Do you think he has like… an outside fling or something?” Baekhyun worriedly stated.
“No, Baekhyun. I know him too much, I know he wouldn’t do that.” Kyungsoo glared at him.
“You’ll never know, Soo. Maybe you’ve been blind all along.” Baekhyun pushed the matter until Kyungsoo was on the edge.
“You know what? Can you just not? You don’t know him. And I know him. I’ll go home. He might be waiting already.” Kyungsoo rushed out of Baekhyun flat leaving him startled.
“Hello, Sehun? Are you home already? Come pick me up?” Kyungsoo called Sehun up since it had been snowing and he can’t drive.
“Okay, I’ll be there, okay? Just wait for me. Promise.”
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you.” Kyungsoo hung up the phone.
“Hey, Soo. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you with that matter. I was kidding.” Baekhyun came running to Kyungsoo.
“It was a joke and it isn’t funny.” Kyungsoo said flatly.
“I’m sorry. I really do. We’re the best of friends we can’t be like this. I’m so sorry.” Baekhyun bowed his head like a kid and looked on the ground.
“It’s okay, Baekhyunnie! Just don’t do it again.” Kyungsoo punched his shoulders lightly and giggle.
“Why are you here by the way?”
“I called up Sehun and he said he’ll pick me up. He promised.” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows upon saying the word promise because it sounds bitter on his mouth but he just played along.
“That’s it. Promise. Again. Come on, let’s go grab some coffee. We’ll freeze to death here.” Baekhyun grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm and went to the coffee shop at the ground floor of Baekhyun’s condominium.
Both of them had been reminiscing the memories they had even before Sehun entered Kyungsoo’s life. They talked about they’re first ever trip to Busan with only the two of them and without chaperon. Hours passed but there was still no sign of Sehun, to which both of them felt nervous about. Kyungsoo had been calling him up but he won’t pick up.
“Hey, don’t overthink. He’ll be here. He promised.” Baekhyun shoot Kyungsoo a reassuring smile.
“That’s the problem. He promised.” Kyungsoo faced him with a sad smile. He sighed but he felt relieved when there was a ding on his phone and it was Sehun.
“Go answer it. Maybe he’s on the way.” Baekhyun winked at him.
“Hello? Sehun?” Kyungsoo smiled the very moment he picked the call up.
“Hello? Is this Soo?” Another person answered. The caller’s voice is too deep and husky, and definitely not Sehun.
“Yes. Who are you? Where is Sehun?”
“This is Jongdae. He was rushed to the hospital just 8 blocks away from his office. Please hurry up.” Jongdae hang up the phone, leaving Kyungsoo confused to death.
“Kyungsoo, we should hurry up.” Baekhyun stood up from the chair he’d been sitting on for a couple of minutes. “I’ll drive us there.”
“Let’s go. Please.” Baekhyun and Kyungsoo hurriedly went to Baekhyun’s car.
15 minutes after, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun came rushing to the information desk of the hospital.
“Oh Sehun.” Kyungsoo’s voice went out shaky when the head nurse asked him about the patient’s name.
“Sorry, Mr. But he’s currently at the ICU. He met an accident. The person who was believed to be a guy ran away even before the police got to the area. He’s case is serious, Mr. Do. Please talk to the doctor in-charge for further details.” The head nurse shot him an apologetic nod. The two went ahead to the ICU. They tried to go in but the doctors didn’t allow them. Much more to his grieve and disappointment, he ended up crying it all out since that’s all he can do. Baekhyun, on the other hand, tried so hard to calm his friend down. He looked at his watch only to see that there is only an hour left before Kyungsoo and Sehun anniversary.
“Kyungsoo, stay strong. It’s everything you can give Sehun right now.” Baekhyun caressed Kyungsoo’s back. A doctor went out of the room and asked if Kyungsoo is a relative.
“I am his… I am his fiancé.” Kyungsoo wiped the lone tear welling up on his left eye.
“His condition is severe. I’m afraid he has a 50% chance of recovering.” The doctor pulled down his mask and placed his right hand on Kyungsoo’s left shoulder. “He’s conscious now but he has all these apparatus attached to his body. You can go in.”
Kyungsoo and Baekhyun wore the prescribed hospital gown and mask. Kyungsoo’s tears fell uncontrollably at the sight of Sehun’s bruised body and wounded face. He wanted to touch Sehun but he just couldn’t bear the condition of Sehun at the moment. Although Sehun is conscious, Kyungsoo’s heart felt like dying.
“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry.” Sehun heaved a breath. “I promised. I wanted to make it up to you. I forgot to keep track of my time and saw that it was already late. I immediately went on my way and then a van hit my car. I’m sorry. I wasn’t careful enough.” He coughed.
“Sehun, please don’t apologize. None of this is your fault.” Kyungsoo held up his hands to his mouth. “Just promise me one thing, Sehun. Just one thing. Please… please don’t leave me. Please try to endure the pain. Sehun, I can’t lose you. I love you.”
“I love you, Soo. I promise I will try.” Sehun heaved a long breath and looked at Kyungsoo one last time.
“Be happy for me, Soo.” He muttered under his breath before closing his eyes. He knew that he couldn’t make it up to his promises but he promised. He promised that he would live. He promise that he wouldn’t leave Kyungsoo. But the things is Sehun is not good at making promises.
“Wait, Sehun, don’t. Please.” The doctors sent Kyungsoo and Baekhyun out of the ICU. “Baekhyun, I can’t live without him. I hope he keeps his promise. He promised, Baek. You heard it. He promised.” Kyungsoo fell apart when the doors closed.
“Kyungsoo, let’s just wait, okay? I’m sorry, Soo.” Baekhyun helped his friend to get up and sit. Almost an hour passed before the same doctor whose name was Kim Jongin showed up again, this time with an apologetic face.
“Dr. Kim, is everything alright now? Is he conscious? Can we see him?”
“He was diagnosed with brain cancer a year ago. Do you know something about this?” Dr. Kim furrowed his brows.
“What?” Kyungsoo half-shouted. “I didn’t know about this.”
“He has that, and… it worsen his condition. We did everything we could, Mr. Do, but…”
“But what? Where is he?”
“He’s… he just… his body gave up.” One sentence, four words and his world shattered. “But he promised.” Kyungsoo cannot talk clearly anymore because of his sobs.
“We found a letter on his wallet. Here it is. I’m sorry, Mr. Do.” Dr. Kim went back to the ICU to remove the apparatus attached to Sehun. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were left to read the letter Sehun wrote for Kyungsoo.
“Dearest Kyungsoo,
I don’t actually know why I’m writing this letter to you. I just wanted to say sorry for everything. I’m sorry for not keeping my promises. I’m sorry for being away for too long. I’m sorry for lying. I did this because I wanted you to get used to me not being with you. I’m not breaking up or what. I just didn’t want it to be hard for you. I don’t want to leave you, ever. But it was fate. I was diagnosed of brain cancer. I’ve grown weak, that’s why I couldn’t go out of my flat late at night. I have to rest but I also didn’t want you to feel bad. I tried everything just to be able to live longer but my days were numbered already and I can’t do anything about it any longer. Next, I wanted to say thank you. Literally for everything. You kept me going even when I really wanted to just give up on myself. You helped me get through tough times. You had me at my worst but still thought that I am the best. You could fall for anyone but you chose to fall for me. Third, I hope that when I’m gone, you’d still keep in mind that I’ll always be here for you. I’m always watching over you, cheering for you. We may cancel our wedding if I didn’t get to recover from this cancer, but we can never stop loving each other. Always remember that I love your every bits with every fiber of my being. I always have, and I always will.
Sehun x
-----
“I miss you, Sehunnie. I really do. I know you’re in a better place, but I still can’t help but wish you’re with me right now.” Kyungsoo cried in the hope that everything would eventually go back to normal even after losing his other half. He fell to his knees, crying in front of Sehun’s grave, wishing that all of these were just bad dreams. But it isn’t. It is reality.
“Ah, Sehun, it’s almost time for my flight. Wish me luck. I’ll do this for you. I love you, Sehunnie. I love you.” Kyungsoo stood up, and retrieve his duffel bag. “Don’t worry. I’ll visit you every month through Baekhyun. I’ll come back in 2 years, Sehun. It won’t take long.” He smiled and waved goodbye as if Sehun was standing there, looking after him. Kyungsoo sighed and went on his way. Yes, Sehun is not with him physically, but his heart holds Sehun’s memories close to him.