Fat Arse
Haven't done this in a while. I can't believe how fat I've gotten. I don't even feel that big when I look in the mirror. My face is a bit wider, but everything else seems proportioned. I only feel fat when I on clothes or exercise or do any laborious activity. Then, when I start breathing heavy or get breathless, I think to myself ' I must really be out of shape. Also, I often catch a glimpse of myself from the side reflected in glass or something, and I look a lot bigger. Also, my shadow is huge. It's such a weird feeling. Most of the time, I'm not conscious of my shape and weight, and then I get these glimpses of myself and it's nothing like what I think. Maybe I'm a bit delusional. I was in love/obsessed with a gay guy for almost a year. Maybe I should see a therapist or something. I dunno.
The one thing, I do know, I really need to NOT be 220lbs. My healthy weight range is 143lbs-163lbs according to those diet calculators that are all over the internet. I'm not sure how accurate those are, but I need to do something. It's really frustrating and depressing to try to find my size in anything that I think is cute or that I feel expresses my style. Grrr! I took a step class last Tuesday. It was pretty intense. I sweated so much. I completely soaked my shirt. I don't think I've ever done that in a workout. Maybe that's my problem! Plus, I had to go to work right after which sucked. But I need to do something. That step classes is right before I got to work, but I don't have many other time options for other workout classes because of work and my literature classes. No one seemed to notice that I was drenched in sweat last time, so I guess I can manage. Surely, if I work out everyday I should lose some poundage. I was doing the south beach diet while I was on break from school, but it's impossible to eat healthy while I'm in school. I only have a fridge and a microwave in the residence hall, so I can pretty much only snack and eat microwave dinner. I'm gonna try to cut back on sweets and pop. Hopefully, I can shed at least 10lbs as a good start.
The one thing, I do know, I really need to NOT be 220lbs. My healthy weight range is 143lbs-163lbs according to those diet calculators that are all over the internet. I'm not sure how accurate those are, but I need to do something. It's really frustrating and depressing to try to find my size in anything that I think is cute or that I feel expresses my style. Grrr! I took a step class last Tuesday. It was pretty intense. I sweated so much. I completely soaked my shirt. I don't think I've ever done that in a workout. Maybe that's my problem! Plus, I had to go to work right after which sucked. But I need to do something. That step classes is right before I got to work, but I don't have many other time options for other workout classes because of work and my literature classes. No one seemed to notice that I was drenched in sweat last time, so I guess I can manage. Surely, if I work out everyday I should lose some poundage. I was doing the south beach diet while I was on break from school, but it's impossible to eat healthy while I'm in school. I only have a fridge and a microwave in the residence hall, so I can pretty much only snack and eat microwave dinner. I'm gonna try to cut back on sweets and pop. Hopefully, I can shed at least 10lbs as a good start.