Like Vines We Intertwined, 4/4
Like Vines We Intertwined, 4/4
The dissolving Sawada marriage is the talk of the neighborhood. Several times the whispers disappear back into the mouths of Michiko-san and her clones as Keiko goes for a run or hauls out the trash. They nod and smile as though they're only discussing the weather, and she wonders if she could find one truthful person in the entire neighborhood. Just one person who's exactly as they appear to be.
That person is Sakurai Sho, Keiko reminds herself.
With the recordings and the long shifts of listening in on Igarashi's house, Keiko's had no time for Sho. Jun comes home in time for dinner, as though his spouse has discovered his misdeeds and given him an ultimatum and a curfew. Maybe that's what Sho thinks when she never uses the key he made especially for her. The key with all the feelings he can't deny, handed over with such tenderness that Keiko buries the damn thing in a zippered compartment of her purse. Or maybe Sho remembers the night they spent together and thinks she regrets it.
Jun reports that Sho's still giving him dirty looks at work when he thinks Jun isn't looking. Despite how she's left him hanging, Sho is steadfast in his defense of her.
She and Jun spend hours in that third bedroom, headphones on and eyes glued to the department-issued screens. In the week and a half they record him, Igarashi is home three nights. He visits his study on two of those nights. On the first he picks up the phone and calls his mother. On the second he calls an associate, a definite collaborator in his schemes.
But one phone call isn't enough, even if they've got audio clearly noting a deal on piping due to ship out to Fukushima in a month's time. It's the names they need, as many of Igarashi's criminal buddies as they can pin down. More details about who they're ripping off, where, and when. The investigation can only proceed when they have "more than enough." Jun rolls his eyes with every report they send in, chuckling that they'll have to catch Igarashi announcing his plans via sky writing before headquarters will move. He's clearly in the wrong, clearly engaging in criminal activity, and how much more money is the squad going to dump into their cover mission and living costs?
Another week passes. Jun misses work once, twice. Keiko has to call in with word that he's quite ill and dreadfully contagious and will be doing work from home. And Jun actually does, propping open the damn laptop and typing up reports while he's got headphones on, listening to Igarashi's wife sweet talking someone on the phone in her bedroom.
Sho never calls. Keiko can't help but let the tears fall as she sees him leave in the mornings. His shirts need ironing, his shoes could use a good shine. He's always lost, always in a daze. As though he knows he came close to something he thought he'd never have again and he completely fucked it up.
They've got more phone calls recorded, evidence to suggest Igarashi's wife is bringing in foreign interests, and at least two members of the Diet who turn a blind eye to Higashimaru. All obtained illegally, none of it admissible in court. They'll have to try other angles, but now they'll know where to look. Who to add to the spider web of Japanese businessmen and women who prefer to add to their bank accounts than to help their fellow man.
It comes as a shock when their supervising officer visits in person for the first time, ringing their doorbell at 3 AM. "We're clearing you out by this time tomorrow night. You've done superior work." He follows it up with a "we'll take it from here, kids" attitude. Let the older detectives and squad leaders get their names in the press for this. Thanks for interrupting your lives for months. You'll be back investigating burglaries and other petty crimes soon enough. Put this behind you.
"Sawada Shin's father is very ill and has taken a turn for the worse. You're heading to his home in the countryside to be with him, take over the family business."
There's no time for a better lie or even a good one, and Jun nearly punches a hole through the wall at how quickly they're being dismissed. "They let us sit here with our thumbs up our asses for weeks, but as soon as they get x-y-z it's all over. As soon as they know they can run with it and get commendations for their investigative prowess." He laughs bitterly. "And since when am I from the fucking countryside?"
All the hard work they did - Keiko building a life in the neighborhood, Jun actually working in that boring office job, week after week. And at this time tomorrow they're going home.
Keiko to her apartment, Jun to his. And Sho. What about Sakurai Sho?
They spend the morning and afternoon packing up the life they worked so hard to create. How easy it is to deconstruct it, to pack up the books, the pots and pans. Another undercover team may use them somewhere else someday. The only thing headquarters dares to waste is their employees' time.
She and Jun are sitting together on the couch, exhausted from packing. They haven't been outside in over 24 hours. Who will tell the neighbors what happened? Why does she even care? They'll probably just believe they guessed right: divorce.
"We need to get the devices out of Sho's bathroom," Jun finally says, the one thing that's been on their minds all day and they haven't dared to voice.
She moves to her purse, unzips it and pulls out the key. "I need to give this back anyhow..."
"And what," Jun replies, getting to his feet and looking at her sadly. "You go, here's your key, thanks buddy. Now can I use your bathroom? Ridiculous."
Keiko can name just as many ridiculous things she's done in the name of this damn case. So many things she's done and can't take back. "Then what would you suggest?"
He takes the key from her. "Get him out of the house. I'll go in, clean up, get out. And when you bring him home, he'll be none the wiser."
As easy as that? And tomorrow they drive away and never see him again? They let him find out how they played him for a fool when Igarashi gets arrested weeks, maybe months from now? She shuts her eyes. "No..."
"Keiko, you have to. One last thing. Just do this one last thing."
He's going to open the door and he's going to look at her. He's going to want answers. All these weeks she's led him astray, the both of them have. There's no way she can go over to his house after everything and just ask him to walk with her and say nothing at all so Jun can be sneaky. Sho deserves better. Sho deserves the truth. She owes him that much.
It's better he hates her now when he can do something about it, say it to her face, than to hate her when he's powerless and alone.
"Keiko, listen to me..."
She shoves Jun away angrily. "I'm going to tell him."
Jun sighs. "Tell him what? You can't make him an accessory to this. He can't know! What if he goes to Igarashi? What if this fucks everything up?"
"I know him. I know the person he is. He knows good and he knows bad. So he can at least know why we did what we did. He won't interfere in the case," she says, crossing her arms.
She sees a small degree of understanding in Jun's eyes, but he shakes his head. "Don't do this just to punish yourself. You want him to hate you. You want him to actually hate you."
She says nothing.
"You were doing your job, we both were. And it's clear we got in over our heads, but just let him go. Let him go, leave him alone. Isn't it better for him to just move on?"
Keiko can only leave Jun by himself in the middle of the packed up house, alone to use Sho's key and take back the equipment.
--
Because Sho is Sho, when she comes to the door and asks him to walk with her, he only makes her wait a moment so he can grab his keys and close the door behind him.
It's dusk, and he lets her stay quiet. They meander down the street, onto another, past well-kept flower beds and cookie-cutter houses. There's a playground three blocks away, where in her second week in the neighborhood Michiko-san told her would be a great place to have a picnic or take a future Sawada little one. Well, there will be no picnics. And no Sawada little ones.
There's a handful of kids in the grass away from the playground equipment, bikes in a heap, hoping to catch fireflies. For now they've parked themselves in the grass with jars and cans stolen from their houses, contents dumped into the playground sandbox. Not so perfect a playground.
They pay Sho and Keiko no mind, two boring adults who move to the swing set and sit down. To the children, their singular focus is the evening of glowing insects, not them. If they know who Sho and Keiko even are, if they know that they're not married, they don't seem to care. It's only the adults that care about these things.
She pushes back in the swing, clinging tightly to the metal links as she lets her shoes drag against the little wood chips that line the ground underneath. He doesn't move, just sits and waits for her to speak.
"I have a lot to say. A lot that won't make sense. A lot that'll piss you off." She licks her lips, tries again. "You'll want to interrupt or you'll want me to stop. I only ask that you hear me out, hear all of it. I'll never ask you for anything again."
"Reiko," he interrupts, moving his hand to touch hers, and she moves, away from the comfort his touch might bring.
"The first thing I should probably tell you is that Reiko isn't my name."
One of the kids declares that he saw the first firefly. The others protest, call him a liar. Their debate rages on.
Keiko holds tight to the swing, unable to look at him. She talks. She talks and the sun slips away, she talks and the street lights come on. The first firefly does appear. So does the second, a third. The kids screech in their excitement. Keiko talks and Sho listens. She tells him everything, from the day she got her assignment til the moment she walked up to Sho's door and asked him to walk with her tonight.
The words pour out, like air rushing out of a popped balloon. She has so much to say and not one bit of it is nice or fair. It's all "the job we were assigned" and "the choices we made to carry out that job" and when she's at her lowest, when she thinks he's only still here listening so he doesn't run off to slash the tires on their car or warn Igarashi of their investigation, she tells him that she's sorry.
She's sorry for lying, sorry for letting him care about the person she constructed. Sorry for how Jun behaved and for the nights she used Sho's trust in her to her own advantage. She's sorry that when tomorrow comes she'll be gone and Sho will be here to live with the things that she and Jun have done.
But she's not sorry, she says when her voice is starting to waver, when her strength is finally sapped completely, for growing to care about him. She's not sorry for the nights when they talked and the nights when they didn't, when he was simply there, filling a void. "I can't apologize for how things developed. Not everything was a lie," she admits. "But that doesn't matter. If one percent was real, it doesn't erase the ninety-nine percent that wasn't. All I can do is apologize, but Sho-san, I don't expect your forgiveness. I don't deserve it."
It's then that he stands up. That he listened this long, endured this much, says much about the person he is. She looks up, and it's so dark that she can't see his face. How many stupid, pointless nights did she dream about being with him? About living in a world where she and Sakurai Sho could be a couple. Or the even more pointless dreams of not having to choose him over Jun, of a fantasy land where they would both worship her. Where they were a puzzle with only three pieces and somehow she thought they would fit together perfectly.
She thinks he ought to slap her. Or maybe he'll say he understands and someday he might accept her apologies. Or maybe he'll kiss the breath out of her, putting his pure feelings of love over everything she's just confessed. She wants a reaction. Jun had seen right through her - she wants Sho to hate her, to tell her to her face that he does. That he always will. Only then can she live with the things that she's done.
No slaps, no acknowledgments, no kisses. Sakurai Sho turns his back on her and walks out of the playground without a word.
--
She's the lowest-ranking member of a task force investigating a double homicide. So instead of getting out there, following leads or participating in suspect inquiries, she's often alone in the squad room doing paperwork. Running to get coffee when a senior detective snaps his fingers at her like she's his personal servant. She orders dinner when they're in late. She tacks up photos on the board before meetings. She's background noise.
It's been four months, and Jun finds her in the records room. He was asked to continue on with the Higashimaru and Igarashi case. Keiko was not. Even still he's doing the shit work too, serving as the office bitch for the investigation. She can see how much it angers him, how he's been shifted aside so his senpai can move up the ladder. So they can step on him, shit on him. Erase the contributions he and Keiko made, the contributions that have gotten them this far in the investigation in the first place.
"We have enough," Jun tells her. "We're going to invite him for voluntary questioning tomorrow." And by "we" Jun means everybody but him. Since of course Igarashi will recognize him and call foul. And he'd be within his rights to do so.
It's good to see Jun. With their cases pulling them in different directions, with their fucked up schedules they've met three times in these four months. Once for dinner and a quickie in the backseat of Jun's car. The other two times without bothering with dinner.
Each time she asked "Have you heard anything about Sho?"
Each time he said "No" and slept with her anyway.
He doesn't care where her loyalties still lie. Their time together and the way the department's treated them since has made him realize that he might want a different kind of life someday. She thinks he might even love her, if he's willing to make the time for it.
They go for coffee, to the same place they met up that first time. When she thought of him as nothing but a swaggering joke, just another one of the boys on the squad married to the job and only interested in a fling here and there. When he must have thought of her as a cold bitch who'd never move up because her daddy's not a cop and she won't fuck her way to a detective's shield.
This time they don't end up at a hotel, in his car, in the dimly lit stairwell of his apartment building. He brushes his lips against the palm of her hand and tells her he misses her. She asks him "have you heard anything about Sho?" and he says "when Igarashi goes down, I'll find out for you."
--
In the end fourteen people are arrested. None of them are Igarashi Shinya, who has seemingly fled to South America with the help of his wife's near and dear friends. He's probably the king of something there too, sampling the local housewives' dishes with a gleam in his eye. Higashimaru collapses, and Keiko feels regret for the hundreds who lose their jobs when the company is sold to a foreign investor. The hundreds who didn't know what their bosses were up to. She supposes that many houses on Azalea Way are just as empty as the Sawada house became six months ago when she and Jun left. She even finds herself hoping that Michiko-san is alright, that her husband Teruo survived the cuts. After all, they have children to raise, put through school.
To Keiko's surprise, Sho finds them first. Or more like he finds Jun. Keiko had, after all, given him their real names.
He wasn't let go from Higashimaru but chose to leave and accept a new position in Tokyo. He left his far too big Higashimaru house, lives in a Toshima high-rise. He meets Jun in a cafe and tells him he's been following the case ever since the "Sawada family" left the neighborhood.
"It's been six months," Jun allegedly tells him. "She still loves you, you know."
Sho allegedly seems taken aback.
Jun doesn't feel inclined to relate any further details of the conversation, though she suspects it revolved around her. What he does tell her is what Sho said when he departed: "tell her I need more time."
--
A year after Sawada Shin and Sawada Reiko vanish from public record, Jun's only half-joking when he asks Keiko to move in with him. They've been dating on and off as work allows for several months. "I miss your shitty eggs," he whispers sometimes when the sun's coming up and he's pressed up against her back.
He still meets with Sho. They've somehow, despite everything, become drinking buddies. Sakurai Sho's not much for friendship with adulterers but cops are fine.
"I know you still can't choose," Jun admits.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"The way you look at me, and the way you always looked at him. It's the same. It's always been the same."
But it wasn't the same, Keiko thinks. There was Jun. And there was Sho. But it wasn't the same. Was it?
Jun's fingers trace her spine. "Back then, I wanted you to choose. And maybe he did too, in his own goody two-shoes way." He chuckles. "Maybe we shouldn't press the issue. Maybe we should both just give it up."
Alarm bells are ringing in her head. Give it up? Give her up? But he kisses her shoulder reassuringly.
"Forgive yourself, Keiko." His voice grows quieter. "I think we can figure it out in the end."
--
It's been a long day, and Jun's apartment is two stops closer than her own. Her place is mostly an empty refrigerator and a single bed with pink, girly sheets now anyway. So it's nothing out of the ordinary for her to get off at his stop, walk past his convenience stores, his bakeries, his bookstores. His building doesn't have an elevator, and he's on the fifth of six floors.
She's got her heels in her hand and a strong need for a stiff drink when she jams the key he gave her with the Doraemon keychain into the lock and twists.
What she doesn't expect when she pulls the door open is
"Sho," she says, her heels slipping from her fingers to thunk on the hallway floor.
"Get in here already," she hears Jun calling noisily from inside. "You're late."
Sho looks healthier. Moving out of that house has done him a world of good. His eyes are still tired but probably from work and not from an empty bed in an empty house. He's still got a penchant for v-neck t-shirts, and Keiko wonders if she's actually tumbled down Jun's stairs and bumped her head. Surely this isn't real. Surely he isn't here.
"Keiko," he says, trying out her name. Perhaps Jun's trained him.
And she must make the most ridiculous face when he says her name because she hears his laughter, his honest and true laughter for the first time in over a year. She's been crying since she opened the door, and he picks up her shoes, arranges them neatly in Jun's genkan.
It's a nabe dinner in Jun's living room. A more modest size than the living room of the Sawadas, but they're once again gathered around the table. Jun to her left serving dinner, Sho to her right eating it. Keiko in the middle with no appetite to speak of until Jun forces a bowl into her hands.
And just like that Sho's asking her about work, knowing things he shouldn't know about her that Jun must have told him. Her answers are short, quick, lacking in coherency because what the fuck is this? What the fuck is this dinner like everything's okay?
It's like they both sense her discomfort at the same time. The two men she wants, the two men she needs - Jun's passion and Sho's kindness, Jun's bossiness and Sho's encouragement. Two halves of a whole.
They settle there when they're full, Jun actually making the effort of cleaning everything up so she and Sho are alone. He surprises her by scooting to her side, holding his arm up expectantly. She shuts her eyes and curls up at his side, his arm coming around her shoulders, his hand moving up and down to rub her arm as she cries in happiness.
"It's okay," he says against her hair. "It's okay."
Has he forgiven her? It seems that he has. Will he forget? She hopes he never does.
Jun finds them like that maybe an hour later (perhaps he's been off convincing himself that it's alright), and it seems that he and Sho meet eyes. With a barely noticeable nod, Sho takes Jun's cue. Sho moves, holds out a hand. She suspects that every second of this night has been choreographed. Jun the instructor, Sho the student.
Maybe we should both just give it up, Jun had said to her. They've given up on the idea that she has to choose.
Even if her long day and dinner have left her tired, it all changes when the three of them enter the bedroom, and Jun turns down the bed. And then Sho's there, in her space in a way he'd never have been with Sawada Reiko. His kiss has so much behind it that it leaves her shaking, and he doesn't let go, his hand settling on the back of her neck.
Jun comes up behind her, and she feels how hard he is already, pressed up against her ass. His hands come up, cup her breasts, squeeze. Sho's mouth doesn't stop, his tongue teasing at her lips until she easily lets him inside. Today she wore a smart little business pantsuit. Too much fabric is still in the way - her blouse, her slacks, her belt.
Sho backs off, and Jun turns her around. Then she's feeling his kiss, and she doesn't compare. She loves Sho's, she loves Jun's, and they can coexist so easily. While Jun's greedily tasting her, his fingers go to her belt buckle, popping it open. Sho takes over, reaching around her to pull it away and toss it on the floor. Next Jun untucks her blouse, starts on her buttons while she hears Sho unzip his jeans.
Is this really happening?
Jun makes fast work of it, and her blouse hits the ground. She shivers impulsively when Jun grabs her by the hips and twists her around again. And then it's Sho's mouth at her shoulder, his tongue sliding into the dip of her collarbone. She arches up against his fingers when he reaches for the button of her slacks, undoes it, slides her zipper down. Meanwhile Jun's fingers are in her hair, sliding the elastic out and letting her hair loose. It's grown out, touches her bare shoulder blades now.
Sho's in his boxers and silly enough his socks. When he pulls her slacks down, he kneels as he does it, like he's bowing down to await further instruction. It prompts her to step out of the pants, for Jun to turn her back around so she can discover that he's down to his boxer briefs. Back and forth, back and forth. Equal opportunity. She wants them to fill her up, use her up, take it all because she'll give it freely.
Jun chuckles when Sho's attacking the clasp of her bra with awkward fingers. "Knew I should have taken this part," he jokes, and she hears Sho's muttered complaint behind her back.
She finds herself reaching for Jun's face, hands on his cheeks, searching his eyes. Is this really okay? Are we going to be okay?
Yes, of course, is the cocky reply, the quick grin that spreads across his face. This is what you want. This is who you are. And this is what you deserve.
Once Sho's finished with her bra, it joins the growing pile of clothing on Jun's floor. Thankfully it includes Sho's socks. Sho's back to his knees then kissing the backs of her thighs, licking at her skin enough to send her jumping from the tickling feeling. But she can't jump far because Jun's kissing her again, taking a nipple between his thumb and forefinger and squeezing it the way she likes.
Then Sho's fingers are at the top of her panties, pulling them down. She's never been this ready, this wanting in her life. Jun breaks away from her lips, kisses her temple. "I have whatever you need us to use in the drawer. Just say the word, and we're safer than a bank vault."
She shakes her head. She's on the pill. She's only been with Jun in over a year, and Sho's too loyal for random flings (and she doesn't doubt that Jun's made sure of it). "Whatever you want then," Jun says. He looks past her shoulder, seemingly conferring privately with his partner in crime.
Jun smiles and lets go of her. He steps back and Sho's pulling on her hand, pulling her to the bed. There's none of the hesitation, none of the taboos that defined that one and only night together. The night where she would have done anything to have him inside her and still said no.
He gets onto Jun's bed, lies back against the pillows. He strokes himself a few times, seeming a bit proud of what he's about to give her. She turns to look back and Jun's stepping out of his own underwear, painfully hard himself. He gives her a nod.
She's ready for them both, her hair falling forward to brush the tops of her breasts as she gets onto the bed, climbs on top of Sho as she had that night. They kiss, and despite Sho's projected confidence, he's shaking the slightest bit now that it's just about time. She runs her hands over his chest, pinches his nipple with a smile. Such a tease. He captures her hand in his own, brings her fingers to his lips and slides a few in, sucking on them without looking away from her eyes.
It takes a little awkward maneuvering, given their eye contact, but she braces herself as best she can, grabbing hold of his cock. He makes the most perfect sound, and she guides him to her. She lowers herself onto him, feeling that wonderful stretch as she takes him in inch by inch. She doesn't move just yet, and he continues to suck her fingers. Finally she can hardly stay still, and her fingers slip from his mouth.
She brings those fingers to her breast, rubs a nipple hard with it. He looks up at her, the hair falling across her eyes and shoulders. "Move," he says, "please move."
She lowers her body down, slowly as she can manage so he doesn't accidentally slip out. His hands go up, she twines their fingers and moves. Finally, Keiko thinks. Oh god, finally. It's unreal, how they're joined, how Jun's in the room. How Jun's watching Sho fuck her without saying a word. But she can hear Jun, can hear him jerking off. He's at the foot of the bed jerking off to the sight of her ass as she rides Sho's cock. She breathes in and out, rocks her hips and hears Sho sigh as her body lets him out, takes him back in.
Nobody knows what to say so nobody speaks. It seems that Sho's about to come so he squeezes her hands, and she stops moving. She feels the mattress move, and she knows that it's time to switch. She can see how wet and slick Sho's cock is when she moves off him. He slides off the bed looking a little pained, a little frustrated and soon he's out of sight because then Jun's lying where he was. Without words he works his erection up and down, biting at his lip before holding still and lowering his eyes so Keiko's will lower too, discover his intent.
She moves onto her hands and knees and allows a moment for Jun to calmly gather up her hair, twisting it around so he's got it all loosely in his fist. And then she's slicking him down with a little saliva, working him with her hand. She leans down, licks a stripe up the underside of him, knowing it's how he always wants her to start. He groans in appreciation. Before too long his grip on her hair is tightening and the fist he's made is putting gentle pressure on the back of her head as she sucks his cock. She works at a steady pace, alternating between taking him in as far as her mouth allows and lapping at the head of him like a tease.
Sho's not gone for long. There's competition for attention when she feels him come up behind her. Jun chuckles a bit because Sho's now lying down on his back, half on and half off the bed. Sho's head and shoulders lie in between Jun's feet and Keiko's legs. Sho nudges Keiko's legs apart, tilts his head up so he can get at her. She moans, the sound lost with Jun's cock still snug between her lips, when Sho's tongue start to lick. He hooks his hands around her thighs, nose nudging up against the dark curls at the junction of her thighs.
Jun grows more insistent, demanding since her attention is divided. She lets him all but fuck her mouth, hearing the telltale sounds of his growing loss of control. As Sho arches up with surprising skill, his tongue lost between her wet folds, Jun sighs. His come hits the back of her throat, and she hums around him, sucking him through his orgasm and swallowing every last drop he's willing to give her. He pats her on top of the head, but she knows it's more a "thank you" than a "good dog" gesture from him.
He removes himself from the playing field, and Sho puts some pressure on her legs, asking her to move. He seems a little grateful to get back onto the bed all the way. He gets her on her back and smiles before bringing his mouth back to finish the job. She can't take much more, knows she'll come if his tongue finds her clit again. Jun's back and soon she's got one mouth between her legs and another closing around her nipple, sucking hard enough to make her cry out in surprise. It's then that Sho hits her just right. She can hear Jun laugh before he's turning her face, leaving lazy kisses against her lips as Sho keeps going. He slips his fingers inside her, unrelenting as his tongue tortures her.
Her whole body seems to be shaking and her second orgasm comes so quickly that she ends up biting Jun's lip when he's trying to kiss her. And again he laughs, backing away from her. She's in a perfect haze, feeling the mattress creak as Jun disappears. Then Sho's moving, pushing her legs until she's spread wide for him. He kisses her, whispering that he needs her. Can he have her?
"Yes," she manages to say, wrapping her quivering legs around him. Her ankles cross behind his back. "Yes."
He sinks back into her, moaning. He's waited quite patiently, as he has for her all along. She knows she's crying, smiling, relishing every moment, this perfect night they've given her. It's not long before Sho's pace becomes frantic, his movements so quick and hard that she can hardly breathe. She can't help but squeeze, clench around him, losing count of how many times he's made her come. He can't take any more, groaning as he gets off, as though he's disappointed in himself for not performing better.
They lie there, joined, her legs still around him and his dark eyes watching her own. His arms are shaking from holding himself up, and she lets him go. A thoughtful Jun has already returned, looking at the two of them in amusement. "Well that was kind of impressive," he murmurs, coming to Keiko with a damp washcloth. He lingers cruelly between her legs with it, ostensibly cleaning her but at the same time rubbing against her poor, overworked clit. "Stop already," she complains, and this even gets a laugh out of the usually serious Sakurai Sho.
"Yeah yeah," Jun says.
She soon finds herself in the middle of Jun's mattress, laying on her side. Jun's behind her, pulling up the sheet and resting his hand on her hip. She's facing Sho, watching him slowly drift off to sleep with an unguarded smile on his face. If this has all been a dream, she prays that nobody pinches her awake.
--
She's stiff and sore standing in the shower mist come morning, and when she emerges there's still two men in the bed. Jun's stolen most of the blankets as usual and is facing the wall, still in dreamland. Sho has somehow turned completely around, his feet at the pillow and his head at the foot of the bed. He snores like a foghorn. She's tempted to snap a photo with her phone, preserve this forever.
Keiko slips out, finds one of Jun's dress shirts in a stack of clean laundry and buttons it up, shoves her hair in a ponytail. She serves breakfast - eggs, rice, black coffee, nothing remotely cute or gourmet-quality. The promise of the meal brings them both to the table with messy hair and sheepish smiles. Jun sits to her left and Sho to her right.
The three of them have a lot to talk about.
Instead they eat their breakfast. Jun douses his eggs with pepper, Keiko pours some cream and sugar into Sho's coffee the way she knows he prefers it. It's taken a year and then some, through betrayal and heartache and confusing feelings. She can finally admit it to herself, she can finally accept it. Kitagawa Keiko is in love, and she is deserving of it.
The sun is up and a Tokyo morning begins.
The dissolving Sawada marriage is the talk of the neighborhood. Several times the whispers disappear back into the mouths of Michiko-san and her clones as Keiko goes for a run or hauls out the trash. They nod and smile as though they're only discussing the weather, and she wonders if she could find one truthful person in the entire neighborhood. Just one person who's exactly as they appear to be.
That person is Sakurai Sho, Keiko reminds herself.
With the recordings and the long shifts of listening in on Igarashi's house, Keiko's had no time for Sho. Jun comes home in time for dinner, as though his spouse has discovered his misdeeds and given him an ultimatum and a curfew. Maybe that's what Sho thinks when she never uses the key he made especially for her. The key with all the feelings he can't deny, handed over with such tenderness that Keiko buries the damn thing in a zippered compartment of her purse. Or maybe Sho remembers the night they spent together and thinks she regrets it.
Jun reports that Sho's still giving him dirty looks at work when he thinks Jun isn't looking. Despite how she's left him hanging, Sho is steadfast in his defense of her.
She and Jun spend hours in that third bedroom, headphones on and eyes glued to the department-issued screens. In the week and a half they record him, Igarashi is home three nights. He visits his study on two of those nights. On the first he picks up the phone and calls his mother. On the second he calls an associate, a definite collaborator in his schemes.
But one phone call isn't enough, even if they've got audio clearly noting a deal on piping due to ship out to Fukushima in a month's time. It's the names they need, as many of Igarashi's criminal buddies as they can pin down. More details about who they're ripping off, where, and when. The investigation can only proceed when they have "more than enough." Jun rolls his eyes with every report they send in, chuckling that they'll have to catch Igarashi announcing his plans via sky writing before headquarters will move. He's clearly in the wrong, clearly engaging in criminal activity, and how much more money is the squad going to dump into their cover mission and living costs?
Another week passes. Jun misses work once, twice. Keiko has to call in with word that he's quite ill and dreadfully contagious and will be doing work from home. And Jun actually does, propping open the damn laptop and typing up reports while he's got headphones on, listening to Igarashi's wife sweet talking someone on the phone in her bedroom.
Sho never calls. Keiko can't help but let the tears fall as she sees him leave in the mornings. His shirts need ironing, his shoes could use a good shine. He's always lost, always in a daze. As though he knows he came close to something he thought he'd never have again and he completely fucked it up.
They've got more phone calls recorded, evidence to suggest Igarashi's wife is bringing in foreign interests, and at least two members of the Diet who turn a blind eye to Higashimaru. All obtained illegally, none of it admissible in court. They'll have to try other angles, but now they'll know where to look. Who to add to the spider web of Japanese businessmen and women who prefer to add to their bank accounts than to help their fellow man.
It comes as a shock when their supervising officer visits in person for the first time, ringing their doorbell at 3 AM. "We're clearing you out by this time tomorrow night. You've done superior work." He follows it up with a "we'll take it from here, kids" attitude. Let the older detectives and squad leaders get their names in the press for this. Thanks for interrupting your lives for months. You'll be back investigating burglaries and other petty crimes soon enough. Put this behind you.
"Sawada Shin's father is very ill and has taken a turn for the worse. You're heading to his home in the countryside to be with him, take over the family business."
There's no time for a better lie or even a good one, and Jun nearly punches a hole through the wall at how quickly they're being dismissed. "They let us sit here with our thumbs up our asses for weeks, but as soon as they get x-y-z it's all over. As soon as they know they can run with it and get commendations for their investigative prowess." He laughs bitterly. "And since when am I from the fucking countryside?"
All the hard work they did - Keiko building a life in the neighborhood, Jun actually working in that boring office job, week after week. And at this time tomorrow they're going home.
Keiko to her apartment, Jun to his. And Sho. What about Sakurai Sho?
They spend the morning and afternoon packing up the life they worked so hard to create. How easy it is to deconstruct it, to pack up the books, the pots and pans. Another undercover team may use them somewhere else someday. The only thing headquarters dares to waste is their employees' time.
She and Jun are sitting together on the couch, exhausted from packing. They haven't been outside in over 24 hours. Who will tell the neighbors what happened? Why does she even care? They'll probably just believe they guessed right: divorce.
"We need to get the devices out of Sho's bathroom," Jun finally says, the one thing that's been on their minds all day and they haven't dared to voice.
She moves to her purse, unzips it and pulls out the key. "I need to give this back anyhow..."
"And what," Jun replies, getting to his feet and looking at her sadly. "You go, here's your key, thanks buddy. Now can I use your bathroom? Ridiculous."
Keiko can name just as many ridiculous things she's done in the name of this damn case. So many things she's done and can't take back. "Then what would you suggest?"
He takes the key from her. "Get him out of the house. I'll go in, clean up, get out. And when you bring him home, he'll be none the wiser."
As easy as that? And tomorrow they drive away and never see him again? They let him find out how they played him for a fool when Igarashi gets arrested weeks, maybe months from now? She shuts her eyes. "No..."
"Keiko, you have to. One last thing. Just do this one last thing."
He's going to open the door and he's going to look at her. He's going to want answers. All these weeks she's led him astray, the both of them have. There's no way she can go over to his house after everything and just ask him to walk with her and say nothing at all so Jun can be sneaky. Sho deserves better. Sho deserves the truth. She owes him that much.
It's better he hates her now when he can do something about it, say it to her face, than to hate her when he's powerless and alone.
"Keiko, listen to me..."
She shoves Jun away angrily. "I'm going to tell him."
Jun sighs. "Tell him what? You can't make him an accessory to this. He can't know! What if he goes to Igarashi? What if this fucks everything up?"
"I know him. I know the person he is. He knows good and he knows bad. So he can at least know why we did what we did. He won't interfere in the case," she says, crossing her arms.
She sees a small degree of understanding in Jun's eyes, but he shakes his head. "Don't do this just to punish yourself. You want him to hate you. You want him to actually hate you."
She says nothing.
"You were doing your job, we both were. And it's clear we got in over our heads, but just let him go. Let him go, leave him alone. Isn't it better for him to just move on?"
Keiko can only leave Jun by himself in the middle of the packed up house, alone to use Sho's key and take back the equipment.
--
Because Sho is Sho, when she comes to the door and asks him to walk with her, he only makes her wait a moment so he can grab his keys and close the door behind him.
It's dusk, and he lets her stay quiet. They meander down the street, onto another, past well-kept flower beds and cookie-cutter houses. There's a playground three blocks away, where in her second week in the neighborhood Michiko-san told her would be a great place to have a picnic or take a future Sawada little one. Well, there will be no picnics. And no Sawada little ones.
There's a handful of kids in the grass away from the playground equipment, bikes in a heap, hoping to catch fireflies. For now they've parked themselves in the grass with jars and cans stolen from their houses, contents dumped into the playground sandbox. Not so perfect a playground.
They pay Sho and Keiko no mind, two boring adults who move to the swing set and sit down. To the children, their singular focus is the evening of glowing insects, not them. If they know who Sho and Keiko even are, if they know that they're not married, they don't seem to care. It's only the adults that care about these things.
She pushes back in the swing, clinging tightly to the metal links as she lets her shoes drag against the little wood chips that line the ground underneath. He doesn't move, just sits and waits for her to speak.
"I have a lot to say. A lot that won't make sense. A lot that'll piss you off." She licks her lips, tries again. "You'll want to interrupt or you'll want me to stop. I only ask that you hear me out, hear all of it. I'll never ask you for anything again."
"Reiko," he interrupts, moving his hand to touch hers, and she moves, away from the comfort his touch might bring.
"The first thing I should probably tell you is that Reiko isn't my name."
One of the kids declares that he saw the first firefly. The others protest, call him a liar. Their debate rages on.
Keiko holds tight to the swing, unable to look at him. She talks. She talks and the sun slips away, she talks and the street lights come on. The first firefly does appear. So does the second, a third. The kids screech in their excitement. Keiko talks and Sho listens. She tells him everything, from the day she got her assignment til the moment she walked up to Sho's door and asked him to walk with her tonight.
The words pour out, like air rushing out of a popped balloon. She has so much to say and not one bit of it is nice or fair. It's all "the job we were assigned" and "the choices we made to carry out that job" and when she's at her lowest, when she thinks he's only still here listening so he doesn't run off to slash the tires on their car or warn Igarashi of their investigation, she tells him that she's sorry.
She's sorry for lying, sorry for letting him care about the person she constructed. Sorry for how Jun behaved and for the nights she used Sho's trust in her to her own advantage. She's sorry that when tomorrow comes she'll be gone and Sho will be here to live with the things that she and Jun have done.
But she's not sorry, she says when her voice is starting to waver, when her strength is finally sapped completely, for growing to care about him. She's not sorry for the nights when they talked and the nights when they didn't, when he was simply there, filling a void. "I can't apologize for how things developed. Not everything was a lie," she admits. "But that doesn't matter. If one percent was real, it doesn't erase the ninety-nine percent that wasn't. All I can do is apologize, but Sho-san, I don't expect your forgiveness. I don't deserve it."
It's then that he stands up. That he listened this long, endured this much, says much about the person he is. She looks up, and it's so dark that she can't see his face. How many stupid, pointless nights did she dream about being with him? About living in a world where she and Sakurai Sho could be a couple. Or the even more pointless dreams of not having to choose him over Jun, of a fantasy land where they would both worship her. Where they were a puzzle with only three pieces and somehow she thought they would fit together perfectly.
She thinks he ought to slap her. Or maybe he'll say he understands and someday he might accept her apologies. Or maybe he'll kiss the breath out of her, putting his pure feelings of love over everything she's just confessed. She wants a reaction. Jun had seen right through her - she wants Sho to hate her, to tell her to her face that he does. That he always will. Only then can she live with the things that she's done.
No slaps, no acknowledgments, no kisses. Sakurai Sho turns his back on her and walks out of the playground without a word.
--
She's the lowest-ranking member of a task force investigating a double homicide. So instead of getting out there, following leads or participating in suspect inquiries, she's often alone in the squad room doing paperwork. Running to get coffee when a senior detective snaps his fingers at her like she's his personal servant. She orders dinner when they're in late. She tacks up photos on the board before meetings. She's background noise.
It's been four months, and Jun finds her in the records room. He was asked to continue on with the Higashimaru and Igarashi case. Keiko was not. Even still he's doing the shit work too, serving as the office bitch for the investigation. She can see how much it angers him, how he's been shifted aside so his senpai can move up the ladder. So they can step on him, shit on him. Erase the contributions he and Keiko made, the contributions that have gotten them this far in the investigation in the first place.
"We have enough," Jun tells her. "We're going to invite him for voluntary questioning tomorrow." And by "we" Jun means everybody but him. Since of course Igarashi will recognize him and call foul. And he'd be within his rights to do so.
It's good to see Jun. With their cases pulling them in different directions, with their fucked up schedules they've met three times in these four months. Once for dinner and a quickie in the backseat of Jun's car. The other two times without bothering with dinner.
Each time she asked "Have you heard anything about Sho?"
Each time he said "No" and slept with her anyway.
He doesn't care where her loyalties still lie. Their time together and the way the department's treated them since has made him realize that he might want a different kind of life someday. She thinks he might even love her, if he's willing to make the time for it.
They go for coffee, to the same place they met up that first time. When she thought of him as nothing but a swaggering joke, just another one of the boys on the squad married to the job and only interested in a fling here and there. When he must have thought of her as a cold bitch who'd never move up because her daddy's not a cop and she won't fuck her way to a detective's shield.
This time they don't end up at a hotel, in his car, in the dimly lit stairwell of his apartment building. He brushes his lips against the palm of her hand and tells her he misses her. She asks him "have you heard anything about Sho?" and he says "when Igarashi goes down, I'll find out for you."
--
In the end fourteen people are arrested. None of them are Igarashi Shinya, who has seemingly fled to South America with the help of his wife's near and dear friends. He's probably the king of something there too, sampling the local housewives' dishes with a gleam in his eye. Higashimaru collapses, and Keiko feels regret for the hundreds who lose their jobs when the company is sold to a foreign investor. The hundreds who didn't know what their bosses were up to. She supposes that many houses on Azalea Way are just as empty as the Sawada house became six months ago when she and Jun left. She even finds herself hoping that Michiko-san is alright, that her husband Teruo survived the cuts. After all, they have children to raise, put through school.
To Keiko's surprise, Sho finds them first. Or more like he finds Jun. Keiko had, after all, given him their real names.
He wasn't let go from Higashimaru but chose to leave and accept a new position in Tokyo. He left his far too big Higashimaru house, lives in a Toshima high-rise. He meets Jun in a cafe and tells him he's been following the case ever since the "Sawada family" left the neighborhood.
"It's been six months," Jun allegedly tells him. "She still loves you, you know."
Sho allegedly seems taken aback.
Jun doesn't feel inclined to relate any further details of the conversation, though she suspects it revolved around her. What he does tell her is what Sho said when he departed: "tell her I need more time."
--
A year after Sawada Shin and Sawada Reiko vanish from public record, Jun's only half-joking when he asks Keiko to move in with him. They've been dating on and off as work allows for several months. "I miss your shitty eggs," he whispers sometimes when the sun's coming up and he's pressed up against her back.
He still meets with Sho. They've somehow, despite everything, become drinking buddies. Sakurai Sho's not much for friendship with adulterers but cops are fine.
"I know you still can't choose," Jun admits.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"The way you look at me, and the way you always looked at him. It's the same. It's always been the same."
But it wasn't the same, Keiko thinks. There was Jun. And there was Sho. But it wasn't the same. Was it?
Jun's fingers trace her spine. "Back then, I wanted you to choose. And maybe he did too, in his own goody two-shoes way." He chuckles. "Maybe we shouldn't press the issue. Maybe we should both just give it up."
Alarm bells are ringing in her head. Give it up? Give her up? But he kisses her shoulder reassuringly.
"Forgive yourself, Keiko." His voice grows quieter. "I think we can figure it out in the end."
--
It's been a long day, and Jun's apartment is two stops closer than her own. Her place is mostly an empty refrigerator and a single bed with pink, girly sheets now anyway. So it's nothing out of the ordinary for her to get off at his stop, walk past his convenience stores, his bakeries, his bookstores. His building doesn't have an elevator, and he's on the fifth of six floors.
She's got her heels in her hand and a strong need for a stiff drink when she jams the key he gave her with the Doraemon keychain into the lock and twists.
What she doesn't expect when she pulls the door open is
"Sho," she says, her heels slipping from her fingers to thunk on the hallway floor.
"Get in here already," she hears Jun calling noisily from inside. "You're late."
Sho looks healthier. Moving out of that house has done him a world of good. His eyes are still tired but probably from work and not from an empty bed in an empty house. He's still got a penchant for v-neck t-shirts, and Keiko wonders if she's actually tumbled down Jun's stairs and bumped her head. Surely this isn't real. Surely he isn't here.
"Keiko," he says, trying out her name. Perhaps Jun's trained him.
And she must make the most ridiculous face when he says her name because she hears his laughter, his honest and true laughter for the first time in over a year. She's been crying since she opened the door, and he picks up her shoes, arranges them neatly in Jun's genkan.
It's a nabe dinner in Jun's living room. A more modest size than the living room of the Sawadas, but they're once again gathered around the table. Jun to her left serving dinner, Sho to her right eating it. Keiko in the middle with no appetite to speak of until Jun forces a bowl into her hands.
And just like that Sho's asking her about work, knowing things he shouldn't know about her that Jun must have told him. Her answers are short, quick, lacking in coherency because what the fuck is this? What the fuck is this dinner like everything's okay?
It's like they both sense her discomfort at the same time. The two men she wants, the two men she needs - Jun's passion and Sho's kindness, Jun's bossiness and Sho's encouragement. Two halves of a whole.
They settle there when they're full, Jun actually making the effort of cleaning everything up so she and Sho are alone. He surprises her by scooting to her side, holding his arm up expectantly. She shuts her eyes and curls up at his side, his arm coming around her shoulders, his hand moving up and down to rub her arm as she cries in happiness.
"It's okay," he says against her hair. "It's okay."
Has he forgiven her? It seems that he has. Will he forget? She hopes he never does.
Jun finds them like that maybe an hour later (perhaps he's been off convincing himself that it's alright), and it seems that he and Sho meet eyes. With a barely noticeable nod, Sho takes Jun's cue. Sho moves, holds out a hand. She suspects that every second of this night has been choreographed. Jun the instructor, Sho the student.
Maybe we should both just give it up, Jun had said to her. They've given up on the idea that she has to choose.
Even if her long day and dinner have left her tired, it all changes when the three of them enter the bedroom, and Jun turns down the bed. And then Sho's there, in her space in a way he'd never have been with Sawada Reiko. His kiss has so much behind it that it leaves her shaking, and he doesn't let go, his hand settling on the back of her neck.
Jun comes up behind her, and she feels how hard he is already, pressed up against her ass. His hands come up, cup her breasts, squeeze. Sho's mouth doesn't stop, his tongue teasing at her lips until she easily lets him inside. Today she wore a smart little business pantsuit. Too much fabric is still in the way - her blouse, her slacks, her belt.
Sho backs off, and Jun turns her around. Then she's feeling his kiss, and she doesn't compare. She loves Sho's, she loves Jun's, and they can coexist so easily. While Jun's greedily tasting her, his fingers go to her belt buckle, popping it open. Sho takes over, reaching around her to pull it away and toss it on the floor. Next Jun untucks her blouse, starts on her buttons while she hears Sho unzip his jeans.
Is this really happening?
Jun makes fast work of it, and her blouse hits the ground. She shivers impulsively when Jun grabs her by the hips and twists her around again. And then it's Sho's mouth at her shoulder, his tongue sliding into the dip of her collarbone. She arches up against his fingers when he reaches for the button of her slacks, undoes it, slides her zipper down. Meanwhile Jun's fingers are in her hair, sliding the elastic out and letting her hair loose. It's grown out, touches her bare shoulder blades now.
Sho's in his boxers and silly enough his socks. When he pulls her slacks down, he kneels as he does it, like he's bowing down to await further instruction. It prompts her to step out of the pants, for Jun to turn her back around so she can discover that he's down to his boxer briefs. Back and forth, back and forth. Equal opportunity. She wants them to fill her up, use her up, take it all because she'll give it freely.
Jun chuckles when Sho's attacking the clasp of her bra with awkward fingers. "Knew I should have taken this part," he jokes, and she hears Sho's muttered complaint behind her back.
She finds herself reaching for Jun's face, hands on his cheeks, searching his eyes. Is this really okay? Are we going to be okay?
Yes, of course, is the cocky reply, the quick grin that spreads across his face. This is what you want. This is who you are. And this is what you deserve.
Once Sho's finished with her bra, it joins the growing pile of clothing on Jun's floor. Thankfully it includes Sho's socks. Sho's back to his knees then kissing the backs of her thighs, licking at her skin enough to send her jumping from the tickling feeling. But she can't jump far because Jun's kissing her again, taking a nipple between his thumb and forefinger and squeezing it the way she likes.
Then Sho's fingers are at the top of her panties, pulling them down. She's never been this ready, this wanting in her life. Jun breaks away from her lips, kisses her temple. "I have whatever you need us to use in the drawer. Just say the word, and we're safer than a bank vault."
She shakes her head. She's on the pill. She's only been with Jun in over a year, and Sho's too loyal for random flings (and she doesn't doubt that Jun's made sure of it). "Whatever you want then," Jun says. He looks past her shoulder, seemingly conferring privately with his partner in crime.
Jun smiles and lets go of her. He steps back and Sho's pulling on her hand, pulling her to the bed. There's none of the hesitation, none of the taboos that defined that one and only night together. The night where she would have done anything to have him inside her and still said no.
He gets onto Jun's bed, lies back against the pillows. He strokes himself a few times, seeming a bit proud of what he's about to give her. She turns to look back and Jun's stepping out of his own underwear, painfully hard himself. He gives her a nod.
She's ready for them both, her hair falling forward to brush the tops of her breasts as she gets onto the bed, climbs on top of Sho as she had that night. They kiss, and despite Sho's projected confidence, he's shaking the slightest bit now that it's just about time. She runs her hands over his chest, pinches his nipple with a smile. Such a tease. He captures her hand in his own, brings her fingers to his lips and slides a few in, sucking on them without looking away from her eyes.
It takes a little awkward maneuvering, given their eye contact, but she braces herself as best she can, grabbing hold of his cock. He makes the most perfect sound, and she guides him to her. She lowers herself onto him, feeling that wonderful stretch as she takes him in inch by inch. She doesn't move just yet, and he continues to suck her fingers. Finally she can hardly stay still, and her fingers slip from his mouth.
She brings those fingers to her breast, rubs a nipple hard with it. He looks up at her, the hair falling across her eyes and shoulders. "Move," he says, "please move."
She lowers her body down, slowly as she can manage so he doesn't accidentally slip out. His hands go up, she twines their fingers and moves. Finally, Keiko thinks. Oh god, finally. It's unreal, how they're joined, how Jun's in the room. How Jun's watching Sho fuck her without saying a word. But she can hear Jun, can hear him jerking off. He's at the foot of the bed jerking off to the sight of her ass as she rides Sho's cock. She breathes in and out, rocks her hips and hears Sho sigh as her body lets him out, takes him back in.
Nobody knows what to say so nobody speaks. It seems that Sho's about to come so he squeezes her hands, and she stops moving. She feels the mattress move, and she knows that it's time to switch. She can see how wet and slick Sho's cock is when she moves off him. He slides off the bed looking a little pained, a little frustrated and soon he's out of sight because then Jun's lying where he was. Without words he works his erection up and down, biting at his lip before holding still and lowering his eyes so Keiko's will lower too, discover his intent.
She moves onto her hands and knees and allows a moment for Jun to calmly gather up her hair, twisting it around so he's got it all loosely in his fist. And then she's slicking him down with a little saliva, working him with her hand. She leans down, licks a stripe up the underside of him, knowing it's how he always wants her to start. He groans in appreciation. Before too long his grip on her hair is tightening and the fist he's made is putting gentle pressure on the back of her head as she sucks his cock. She works at a steady pace, alternating between taking him in as far as her mouth allows and lapping at the head of him like a tease.
Sho's not gone for long. There's competition for attention when she feels him come up behind her. Jun chuckles a bit because Sho's now lying down on his back, half on and half off the bed. Sho's head and shoulders lie in between Jun's feet and Keiko's legs. Sho nudges Keiko's legs apart, tilts his head up so he can get at her. She moans, the sound lost with Jun's cock still snug between her lips, when Sho's tongue start to lick. He hooks his hands around her thighs, nose nudging up against the dark curls at the junction of her thighs.
Jun grows more insistent, demanding since her attention is divided. She lets him all but fuck her mouth, hearing the telltale sounds of his growing loss of control. As Sho arches up with surprising skill, his tongue lost between her wet folds, Jun sighs. His come hits the back of her throat, and she hums around him, sucking him through his orgasm and swallowing every last drop he's willing to give her. He pats her on top of the head, but she knows it's more a "thank you" than a "good dog" gesture from him.
He removes himself from the playing field, and Sho puts some pressure on her legs, asking her to move. He seems a little grateful to get back onto the bed all the way. He gets her on her back and smiles before bringing his mouth back to finish the job. She can't take much more, knows she'll come if his tongue finds her clit again. Jun's back and soon she's got one mouth between her legs and another closing around her nipple, sucking hard enough to make her cry out in surprise. It's then that Sho hits her just right. She can hear Jun laugh before he's turning her face, leaving lazy kisses against her lips as Sho keeps going. He slips his fingers inside her, unrelenting as his tongue tortures her.
Her whole body seems to be shaking and her second orgasm comes so quickly that she ends up biting Jun's lip when he's trying to kiss her. And again he laughs, backing away from her. She's in a perfect haze, feeling the mattress creak as Jun disappears. Then Sho's moving, pushing her legs until she's spread wide for him. He kisses her, whispering that he needs her. Can he have her?
"Yes," she manages to say, wrapping her quivering legs around him. Her ankles cross behind his back. "Yes."
He sinks back into her, moaning. He's waited quite patiently, as he has for her all along. She knows she's crying, smiling, relishing every moment, this perfect night they've given her. It's not long before Sho's pace becomes frantic, his movements so quick and hard that she can hardly breathe. She can't help but squeeze, clench around him, losing count of how many times he's made her come. He can't take any more, groaning as he gets off, as though he's disappointed in himself for not performing better.
They lie there, joined, her legs still around him and his dark eyes watching her own. His arms are shaking from holding himself up, and she lets him go. A thoughtful Jun has already returned, looking at the two of them in amusement. "Well that was kind of impressive," he murmurs, coming to Keiko with a damp washcloth. He lingers cruelly between her legs with it, ostensibly cleaning her but at the same time rubbing against her poor, overworked clit. "Stop already," she complains, and this even gets a laugh out of the usually serious Sakurai Sho.
"Yeah yeah," Jun says.
She soon finds herself in the middle of Jun's mattress, laying on her side. Jun's behind her, pulling up the sheet and resting his hand on her hip. She's facing Sho, watching him slowly drift off to sleep with an unguarded smile on his face. If this has all been a dream, she prays that nobody pinches her awake.
--
She's stiff and sore standing in the shower mist come morning, and when she emerges there's still two men in the bed. Jun's stolen most of the blankets as usual and is facing the wall, still in dreamland. Sho has somehow turned completely around, his feet at the pillow and his head at the foot of the bed. He snores like a foghorn. She's tempted to snap a photo with her phone, preserve this forever.
Keiko slips out, finds one of Jun's dress shirts in a stack of clean laundry and buttons it up, shoves her hair in a ponytail. She serves breakfast - eggs, rice, black coffee, nothing remotely cute or gourmet-quality. The promise of the meal brings them both to the table with messy hair and sheepish smiles. Jun sits to her left and Sho to her right.
The three of them have a lot to talk about.
Instead they eat their breakfast. Jun douses his eggs with pepper, Keiko pours some cream and sugar into Sho's coffee the way she knows he prefers it. It's taken a year and then some, through betrayal and heartache and confusing feelings. She can finally admit it to herself, she can finally accept it. Kitagawa Keiko is in love, and she is deserving of it.
The sun is up and a Tokyo morning begins.