The Arashi Rainbow Road Challenge
Title: The Arashi Rainbow Road Challenge
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Sho and Nino friendship; lots and lots of JE people
Summary: Nino challenges the entire Johnny's Jimusho to a Mario Kart tournament - but why is Sho so upset?
Notes/Warnings: For this year's je_justfriends.
Sho didn’t usually have a good sense for danger.
He’d eat plate after plate of yakiniku and then stand up wondering why he’d been so stupid as his stomach declared war on him. He’d try piling more clothes up in his laundry basket to lessen the number of trips back and forth to the washing machine and end up with clothes everywhere. And he certainly didn’t know Ninomiya as well as everyone thought he did. Because Ninomiya was dangerous, and Sho just never sniffed it out as quickly as he should have.
Because when he entered the green room after completing a solo photo shoot for Wink Up that day, the fact that Nino was furiously typing away on Sho’s own laptop didn’t really faze him. Nino borrowed the laptop all the time - checking for coupons from his favorite stores, surfing the web, etc. Nino liked Sho’s computer because it meant he didn’t have to lug his own around since Sho brought his everywhere.
And it wasn’t like Nino signed Sho up for porn or changed his desktop wallpaper to some creepy close-up of Matsujun’s nose hair (or at least he hadn’t in a few months). Nino respected Sho’s computer because he respected Sho. Somewhat.
But anyway, because Nino on Sho’s computer made sense to Sho, he just went to change back into his street clothes. Maybe the speed with which Nino was typing should have been a warning sign. Maybe the evil grin on Nino’s face would have been another clue. It wasn’t until Nino inquired about the nearest printer on the jimusho building’s wireless network that Sho was mildly concerned.
“What are you printing?” he asked, stumbling uncomfortably out of the obscenely tight jeans they’d put him in for the shoot.
Nino lowered the laptop lid to smile sweetly at him. “Just something for work.”
“Like what?”
Nino was getting more suspicious now, unplugging the power cord from the laptop and getting off the couch. His fingers had a death grip on the MacBook as he shuffled towards the door. “Like something for work.”
“You already said that,” Sho complained, making his way over to Nino. Maybe it WAS porn this time, and Sho had a good reputation around the jimusho. People liked him. He couldn’t let Nino’s mischief tarnish his reputation.
Nino slammed the laptop shut, tucking it under his arm. “Back off, Sakurai. Unless you intend to follow me out of here in just your boxers.”
Sho looked down. Damn him.
“It’s my computer, you know,” Sho protested. “I have a right to know what you’re using it for.”
Nino opened the door and smiled again. “Never you mind. I’ll bring it right back. Bye now.”
And Nino left him there in his underwear.
--
By the time Sho finished dressing and made it to the nearest printer Nino might have used, his bandmate was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and went back to the green room. His laptop had already been returned to his bag. It wasn’t really Ninomiya magic so much as Ninomiya crafty swiftness.
When he opened it, there was no sign of what Nino had done. Even checking Word, there was no trace of what Nino could have been typing. Nino had also cleared his browser history. Sho shrugged. Nino was just weird from time to time. It was probably nothing. Or maybe it was about a girl, and Sho didn’t need those details either. He checked his web mail, a few favorite websites and then shut the computer down. He had a meeting on the other side of town later that day anyhow.
Aiba came in, yammering away on his cell phone since his shoot was scheduled for that afternoon. “...going to be intense, Yoko, I swear. What do you mean you aren’t going to participate?”
Sho slung his bag over his shoulder. Aiba was talking to Yokoyama - but about what?
“Well, you guys are wimps. Come on, where’s your manhood?” Aiba continued.
What the hell were they talking about? Yokoyama was responding to Aiba so loudly that Sho could hear the muffled shouts even from the other end of the room, but Aiba didn’t even hold the phone away from his ear. But that was Aiba.
“Whatever,” Aiba said dismissively. “This is about pride. And spirit. And manliness. And endurance. And other...virtues that men have...and stuff. Adios!”
Sho watched Aiba click the phone shut, and all the show-offy determination melted from his face, replaced with that characteristic smile. Which he quickly turned on Sho.
“Sho-chaaaan, good morning!”
Sho grabbed the power cord that Nino had left beside the couch and shoved it into his bag. “Good morning. How’s Yokoyama-kun?”
Aiba cocked his head. “What?”
Sho blinked. “Yokoyama-kun. You were just talking to him?”
“No I wasn’t.”
“You were.”
“You misheard.”
“You called him Yoko.”
“Maybe your hearing is going.”
“But Aiba-chan...”
Aiba patted him on the shoulder fondly, which quickly became a shove toward the door. “Hearing loss is a very serious matter, especially in a job like ours, and I’d hate to see something bad happen to you. If you talk to Jun-kun, he probably has a phone book’s worth of specialists to recommend. You know him and his Web MD problem...”
“Aiba-chan...”
But his bandmate opened the door and pushed him roughly into the hallway. “Busy, busy Sho-chan, better get out of here and get to your whatever you have. You always have something, right? Bye!”
The door slammed in his face, and Sho sighed. Again. Nino and Aiba were both being sneaky. Well, whatever. Let them be, he thought. He had more important things to do. He headed for the elevator banks, only to find a crowd of juniors and other people gathered around one of the bulletin boards, whispering excitedly.
Well, there was no time. He ignored the crowd and headed out for his meeting.
--
After his meeting, he’d gotten a random, but friendly dinner invite from Nakai-san. The world was really tilting on its axis that day with suspicious Arashi behavior and an invitation from Nakai who never invited anyone out if he could help it. What the hell was going on?
Well, it wouldn’t do to be late for a dinner with a senpai, so he hurried to the restaurant. He found Nakai in a booth to the rear of the restaurant, and even when Sho exchanged pleasantries full of respectful language, his senpai just sneered at him.
“Okay, Sakurai. What’s with the war declaration?”
Sho had barely sat down and asked the waitress for some water. “I beg your pardon?”
Nakai eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t play coy with me, Mr. Keio graduate. Fame going to your head? Third year in a row for Kokuritsu making the five of you all high and mighty?”
“What?”
The waitress came back to take the order, and Nakai just barked out for her to bring whatever dinner specials would cost him the least amount of money. He then turned back to Sho with a glare. “Ohno-kun’s a better actor than you, and he’s sleeping half the time. So don’t think I can’t see through your lies.”
Sho was almost too confused to be insulted. “Really, I have no idea what I’ve done...or what Arashi has done to insult you, but let me just apologize on behalf of...”
Nakai slapped a piece of paper down on the table. “Just shut your mouth.”
He gulped, grabbing the edge of the paper with his fingertips to slide it over so he could read it.
He could already tell from the HEY LOSERS written across the top in big font that he was never going to let Nino use his computer again. The rest of the document was written in an equally disrespectful tone, although Nino had been thoughtful enough to put a cute rainbow border around the whole sheet.
HEY LOSERS
DO YOU HAVE THE TESTICULAR FORTITUDE TO DETHRONE ARASHI?
YOU ALL KNOW THAT NINTENDO LOVES US AND DOESN’T LOVE YOU, SO MAN UP AND TAKE THE CHALLENGE OR THE WHOLE AGENCY WILL KNOW OF YOUR FAILINGS BEHIND THE WHEEL. AND YOUR FAILINGS AS A MAN.
WHAT? ARASHI RAINBOW ROAD CHALLENGE
WHEN? THIS SUNDAY, NOON UNTIL ???
WHERE? YOU KNOW WHERE, THE ROOM ON THE SIXTH FLOOR BY THE VENDING MACHINE THAT NEVER WORKS
WHY? TO PROVE YOU DON’T SUCK
BRING? YOURSELF + 2 PEOPLE (TRIOS ONLY CAN REGISTER - TEAM NAME MANDATORY); WHATEVER WILL KEEP YOU AWAKE
RSVP TO SakuRoxUrBodySho@gmail.com WITH TEAM NAME AND PARTICIPANTS TO RECEIVE RULES
Sho was horrified, tossing the paper away in shock. How did Nino even know about his super secret personal email account?! And what’s more, what the hell was an Arashi Rainbow Road Challenge?!
Nakai crossed his arms. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I...I don’t know...”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Your email address is right there, openly challenging the manliness of the entire agency. Do you know this went to everybody? Everybody everybody? Higashiyama-san everybody?”
Sho felt his hands growing clammy. Oh god, what had Nino done? “Senpai, I really don’t know what this is...I...”
Their food arrived, and Nakai told the poor waitress to just box it up.
“You little upstarts, thinking you have it so tough,” Nakai grumbled. “Well, just wait for an email. Because sports music assemble people...and we assemble people to kick your ass at the Rainbow Road Challenge! Shingo has the thumb power of a man half his age!”
Thumb power?! Sho was near tears. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
The boxed food came. Nakai took both boxes along with the bill. “See you on Sunday.”
Sho was left confused, horrified, embarrassed, and pretty damn hungry. And then Nino wouldn’t answer his phone. What the hell was happening?
--
Aiba hadn’t answered. Neither had Matsujun. But Ohno answered on the sixth ring when Sho was pacing his bedroom floor.
“Ah, Sho-kun. Hello.”
“Don’t ‘Sho-kun hello’ me, alright?”
He heard Ohno turn down his music or TV on the other end. “You must have gotten the email. Nino is serious, huh?”
“What is going on? What is a Rainbow Road Challenge?”
His Leader was uncharacteristically quiet. There was normal Ohno quiet and then there was intentional Ohno silence.
“Satoshi-kun?”
And more silence.
“Satoshi-kun?!”
He could hear a blender. Ohno apparently didn’t see anything wrong with Arashi challenging the entire agency to some sort of manliness battle if he was busy making a milkshake or something.
“Ah, sorry. You’ll have to talk to Nino about it. I’m out of the loop.”
“You’re more in the loop than I am. Just tell me, would you?”
Ohno went on to explain in his usual calm manner that Arashi had apparently challenged the entire Johnny’s Jimusho to a Mario Kart tournament that Sunday. The rules list Nino was using Sho’s super secret personal email account to send out explained to the teams that it was a fight to the very last. Somehow, Nino had rigged a Wii to play the difficult Rainbow Road level on some kind of neverending loop.
Last team standing would win the respect of all in the agency. Of course, Ohno mentioned, Nino expected Arashi to win.
“But how come I didn’t know about this? He’s using MY email!”
“Well, he uh...”
“Satoshi-kun...”
“You see, he figured teams of three allow for a fair balance to switch as necessary, but still prove to be a challenge.”
Sho gripped his phone tightly. “Teams of three? Which means...”
Ohno coughed lightly. “The Arashi representatives are Nino, Aiba-chan, and Matsujun. Nino made a very elaborate pros and cons list. He agonized over it, Sho-kun, really he did...”
“But in the end you and I were excluded...”
“Ah, well, you see, I don’t have a driver’s license, so he thought I wouldn’t bring enough real world experience...”
“It’s a video game!”
“Nino is very serious about this, Sho-kun.”
So not only had Nino used Sho’s email account as the headquarters for this embarrassing tournament, but he’d kept Sho in the dark on purpose. And what was wrong with his driving skills? What was wrong with his gaming skills?
“Sho-kun, you’re busy, so I’m sure that’s why Nino chose the way he did. It’s not meant to be mean.”
But Sho was beyond mad now. He bet that Nino hadn’t even considered him. He’d been judged by his own group members - by his own group members! - and found to be unworthy of inclusion.
He cleared his throat. “I have to go now. Thanks for telling me.”
“I was going to make uchiwas to cheer everyone on. I know you’re bad with art, Sho-kun, but you can just use the glitter pens and-”
Sho hung up. He couldn’t recall hanging up on any group member in the past ten years, but then again, Arashi had always been five members with fairly equal standing. Even when he’d been banned from games on VS Arashi, it hadn’t hurt like this. Because he wasn’t THAT bad at Mario Kart. Not like he’d been bad at Falling Pipe before.
Nino had single-handedly insulted Sho and earned Sho the enmity of the entire jimusho.
This would not stand.
--
The next day was Shiyagare filming with all five members together, and Sho decided that if he was going to play in Ninomiya’s world, then he was going to have to play by Ninomiya’s rules.
He smiled and said good morning as though nothing was amiss. He’d already logged onto his super secret personal email account the night before and glanced at all the sign-up forms that had already come in. Nagase and the Kinki Kids were signed up as a unit called Guitar Heroes (which made little sense to Sho since it was a Mario Kart challenge, but he supposed that Tsuyoshi-san had been in charge of naming).
There was no Kanjani team that he could tell - maybe that was what Aiba and Yokoyama-kun had been arguing about. A team of NEWS representatives had registered as Team Mariiiiiiiio for some reason. There’d been three or four juniors teams, two Hey! Say! Jump groups and of course, Nakai had been true to his word. He’d registered a team called Senpai Strikers.
And the last team to register had been called TKN XTREME - it had come from an unregistered email account with the team members’ names in some sort of code. Sho had run it through Google Translate to no avail. Maybe it made sense to Nino. But who the hell was TKN XTREME?
“Sho-chan,” Nino said, slinking up and wrapping an arm around him. “Maybe I should have been more honest with you. But we didn’t want to make you mad...”
“Mad?” he responded, a little quicker than he should have. “Why would I be mad? I don’t have time for silly video games and things. I’ll be cheering you on!”
Aiba looked up from a Mario Kart strategy guide book, eyeing him suspiciously. But Nino’s face didn’t falter. “Well, that’s good to hear. I wouldn’t want this tournament to come between us. Stormfront may be three people, but Arashi is always five.”
Stormfront being the stupid name Nino had given their tournament entry team, Sho thought bitterly. If Nino had taken 30 seconds to Google the word, he’d have discovered it was the name of a racist website.
“Of course. Let’s work well together today,” Sho said, smiling brightly. It was going to be a real shock to Nino when Sho sabotaged Nino’s efforts.
It had nothing to do with Sho getting excluded or apparently being awful at Mario Kart. It was the PRINCIPLE of the matter. Of computers and email accounts and company printing software being used irresponsibly. Nino would learn to respect Sho’s property if it was the last thing the guy learned, Sho vowed.
--
Jun pulled him aside when filming was over. “Okay, it’s pretty obvious that you’re pissed off here.”
Sho shook his head. “What do you mean? I think it’s all in good fun, seeing who has the best gaming skills in the agency.”
“You’re an awful liar.”
He scowled. “Look Matsujun, I’m a little upset I didn’t find out about this whole tournament thing until after Nino had plastered the agency with threatening advertisements, but I’m not pissed off.” He held his hand at waist level. “Here’s me being upset. Right here.” He raised his hand above his head. “And here’s me pissed off.” He returned his hand to his waist. “I’m still here, Matsujun. I’m still at upset.”
Jun just sighed. “Well, whatever. Nino figured you’d react this way. We were hoping you’d just be so busy you wouldn’t notice. You can’t help that you suck, so we wanted to spare your feelings.”
He wondered if Matsujun could tell that Sho’s eye was twitching with each bluntly delivered word he said.
“How thoughtful of you guys,” he said gently, his hand at his waist starting to quiver a bit.
“But you’ll come Sunday right? I heard Leader’s making uchiwas. And we’ll probably need you to run out and get energy drinks for us.”
He twitched again. “Of course. Energy drinks.”
Jun gave him a playful shove. “Go Stormfront!” he said cheerfully and walked away with the arrogant swagger of someone who was actually going to prove his usefulness to Arashi on Sunday.
“Go Stormfront,” he grumbled, watching Jun walk away.
--
The next attempt to log in to his super secret personal email account met with failure.
“Password incorrect?!” he sputtered at the computer screen in disbelief. Nino had changed the password? To Sho’s OWN email account?
Okay. That did it. That was the last damn straw here. They’d ignored him, judged his Mario Karting skills inferior, and now they were locking him out of his own stuff? Nearly eleven years and this was how he was treated.
Well.
He decided to devote the rest of the night to investigating Ninomiya. Nino usually didn’t care enough about what was happening with the rest of the jimusho, so what was with the sudden manhood-defining tournament? Someone had to have pissed the guy off enough to organize the Mario Kart thing.
If Nino had wanted to just crush his opposition, he would have made it a magic trick talent show or maybe original Super Mario Brothers. Mario Kart had so many variables - shells, banana peels, or the Wiimote batteries dying. It was an endurance thing, not a skill thing, plain and simple.
What had triggered Nino?
He put on his best incognito hat and glasses and headed out into the neighborhood. Go to the source, he figured, heading to the convenience store on the corner. The glossy covers of smiling males greeted him in the idol magazine area. He read through the Wink Up message board sections. Nobody challenging Nino there.
He went through a few back issues of Myojo, tightening his cap on his head as a few high school girls poked through a few issues just beside him.
“Look at Nino-kun!” one of the girls said. “He’s so cute!”
“He really is the best looking one in Arashi, isn’t he?” her friend chimed in.
Sho turned away, flipping through this month’s Potato huffily. Well whatever. If only they knew that Nino hacked his so-called best friend’s email account in order to challenge the rest of the agency to some stupid video game.
The girls walked away whispering about the “creepy perv looking at the idol magazines,” but Sho didn’t really care. Because he’d found it. Just out of the corner of his eye in last month’s Popolo, but it was obvious once he saw it.
POPOLO: What skill do you possess that is greater than anyone else’s?
TAGUCHI: Well, isn’t it obvious? Video games! You thought I was going to say telling jokes, right? (laugh) But I really think I am the best gamer I know.
POPOLO: A lot of Johnny’s play games, right?
TAGUCHI: (laugh) I’m the best though! In Johnny’s definitely! Nobody plays as much as me!
Sho shut the magazine and chuckled to himself. TKN XTREME. He’d just discovered the T, hadn’t he? And with that, the K and the N became rather obvious. Sho knew that Nakamaru-kun loved playing Winning Eleven - they’d talked about soccer video games and their merits and weaknesses at the last Countdown. And then the K - Sho didn’t know Kamenashi-kun well, but if Sho knew anything, it was that Kamenashi was one competitive kid.
T K N. The KAT-TUN representative team.
Sho left the store and headed home. He had work to do.
--
Sunday morning came, and Sho entered the jimusho building with a smile and a case full of energy drinks for the Stormfront team. He and Satoshi-kun had stayed up late the night before designing uchiwas and drinking beer. Well, mostly drinking beer, but he was nice and hangover free. He had to be - today was the day that Nino would regret excluding Sho from any of his evil masterplans.
Upon arrival at the sixth floor room by the broken vending machine, he nearly collided with Nagase who had a strange hat on his head. There was an energy drink can haphazardly attached to either side of the hat and a large straw hanging down.
“Sakurai! Ballsy email you sent out, friend. Very ballsy,” Nagase said proudly, clapping a hand heavily on his shoulder. “I didn’t know you were so competitive.”
“Me neither,” Sho said quietly, heading into the room.
Nino was there in a Mario shirt, a Mario knit cap, and jeans with a Yoshi patch on the left ass cheek. He was in serious gaming mode, Sho knew.
“About time you got here. A man can’t live on Mountain Dew alone,” Nino said, taking the case of energy drinks from him.
Jun and Aiba were doing some very odd stretches. Very odd meaning they were stretching their arms and legs even though they’d just be using their thumbs for most of the tournament. Then again, the Wii wheel attachment had a tendency to be problematic if the system sensor bar was acting up.
Ohno was already there, setting up the uchiwas he and Sho had completed. The other teams were scattered throughout the room, and Nino had made a rather elaborate set-up. Three televisions with Wiis were set up, and three teams would compete on each. The rule of the day was endurance.
The Rainbow Road could usually be cleared in under ten minutes, but instead of things ending after lap three, the game would now loop. Thumbs would be tested, hearts would be broken. Whoever lasted the longest was apparently the manliest in the agency, which Sho found rather pointless.
But all the teams had serious faces. Team Mariiiiiiiio arrived with matching t-shirts apparently designed by Yamapi. Even friendly Masuda had a rather tough look when he, Koyama and Shige entered. The Senpai Strikers arrived soon thereafter wearing matching sweatbands - Nakai had brought Katori from SMAP and also Taichi from TOKIO.
Nino had a bullhorn (even though the room wasn’t THAT big) and he announced the team arrangements.
“Okay, here’s how it’s going. Stormfront will be here at TV 1, and we’ve claimed Yoshi...”
There were groans around the room.
“Ahem!” Nino cried. “As I said, Stormfront will be playing Yoshi on TV 1. We will be joined by the Donkey Kong’s Dong team...”
Some of the Hey Say Jump kids snickered, and Sho hid his own smile.
“...who will apparently be playing as Donkey Kong. Very surprising choice. And finally at TV 1, the Arashi Sucks team.”
Some juniors high fived and headed over. They each had Toad charms hanging around their neck, so Nino didn’t bother to announce it.
“TV 2! Senpai Strikers with Waluigi. Kart Maniacs with regular Luigi, and Guitar Heroes with Bowser.”
The respective teams headed over to the TV, and Nakai shot Sho a very dirty look as he departed. Sho just shook his head. Couldn’t they understand that none of this was his fault?
Nino shouted through the megaphone again. “And finally, TV 3. We have Team Mariiiiiiiio with Mario. Wow. The...damn it, Nakayama-kun, I said you couldn’t be the BayStars.”
Nakayama scowled at his senpai and stomped his feet. “But it’s a cool name!”
“It’s a baseball team,” Nino protested, still using the megaphone. “You couldn’t be more original? Even the Arashi Sucks team made an effort.”
“BayStars!” his teammate Chinen cried.
“Ugh, fine!” Nino said. “The BayStars will be Koopa Troopa and finally the other team will be Peach.”
“Oi!” Everyone turned to see the KAT-TUN representatives waving their hands frantically. They’d...they’d all cosplayed as Princess Peach. Taguchi being so tall looked like a drag queen, but Sho had to put his faith in the guy. A Taguchi victory would knock Nino down a few pegs.
“Say our name!” Nakamaru protested, looking ready to throw Peach’s crown Nino’s way.
Nino silenced the megaphone and spoke normally. “And NTK XTREME will...”
“TKN!” Kame cried.
Nino adjusted his Mario hat. “Whatever. TKN XTREME will challenge with the Peach kart. I have a letter here from Murakami Shingo-kun saying that Kanjani Eight would have sent a team but they are quote ‘withdrawing from the competition so as not to embarrass everyone with their skills’. Cowards. Anyhow! You know the rules. Rainbow Road until you drop. Gentlemen, may the best team win.”
Nino let Aiba take up the Wiimote and steering wheel attachment first, and all nine teams readied for battle. Sho readied for a TKN XTREME victory.
--
Four hours went by, and teams were already starting to drop. Poor bathroom break planning had been the end of the BayStars, and a lack of water or energy drinks ended the hopes of the Kart Maniacs, a Kis-My-Ft2 team who had been unable to bargain successfully. Nobody wanted to exchange water for a pair of roller skates in decent condition.
Donkey Kong’s Dong withdrew soon after when Morimoto-kun fell asleep at the console. Sho observed all of this with a conscientious eye, waving the Stormfront uchiwas like any zealous fan at the Tokyo Dome would. But it was clear that the battle would come down to Stormfront and TKN XTREME.
Nino was like a machine, knowing just when to turn at the curve in the track or time a jump. Matsujun and Aiba were utterly silent, passing off the controller in twenty minute shifts with Nino, taking bathroom breaks when needed. The three of them were sucking down an ungodly number of energy drinks when Sho knew his eyes would be swimming and his bladder would be screaming.
The Guitar Heroes were flagging - Nagase was getting angry with Bowser’s lack of control and kept falling off the track. He’d already pelted poor Koichi-san with an empty energy drink can ripped off of his hat. Toad’s speed was proving hazardous to the Arashi Sucks team as they kept flying into banana peels without braking appropriately.
It was only a matter of time, Sho thought, watching Nakamaru pulling off the itchy tights underneath his Peach dress to deposit them on the floor as Kamenashi gritted his teeth and accelerated around a tight curve.
Only a matter of time.
--
TV 2 was empty. The Senpai Strikers had not budgeted more than seven hours out of their schedules and departed quietly without a word or even one last glare from Nakai. The Guitar Heroes left when Tsuyoshi got a hand cramp. Hand cramps also felled the Arashi Sucks team.
That only left Team Mariiiiiiiio as competition for Stormfront and TKN XTREME, and though they’d planned for energy drinks, they were starving and all left clutching their stomachs in hunger when 10:00 PM rolled around.
Taguchi was downing Powerbars like potato chips, and Sho wasn’t sure that Kamenashi had even eaten since noon. They’d all changed out of the Peach cosplay - not because it affected their gaming, but because of taunting from Nakai all the way up to the Senpai Strikers’ departure.
Ohno left for a late night fishing trip, and Sho was the only observer left. Jun was busy playing when Nino came over, flexing his thumbs and eyeing Sho suspiciously.
“Still here, Sho-chan? That’s admirable of you.”
He munched on some gyoza that Aiba had had his parents deliver all the way from Chiba an hour earlier. “Oh you know, have to support my team.”
Nino sat down across from him, eyebrow raised. “Is that so?” He popped open what had to have been his eighth energy drink of the day.
“Didn’t think the KAT-TUN team would make it this far. They really do have some decent gamers, huh?”
Nino sipped his drink. “They’ll crash soon. They’ve had all those concerts lately. They’re exhausted.”
“Don’t sell them short,” Sho said, dipping a piece of gyoza in the sauce. “Why, you could say that Taguchi is the best gamer in Johnny’s.”
Nino nearly fell out of his chair. “You...”
“...found out what this was all about?” he said wickedly, talking with his mouth full of food in a way that would earn a slap from his mother. “You bet your Yoshi-patched ass I did.”
Nino lowered his voice considerably as Aiba replaced Jun at the console behind them. “Okay look, I know I didn’t go about this the right way...”
“Isn’t all this a bit much just because Taguchi-kun said something you didn’t like? You’ve got the whole agency hating me because you think you have to prove you’re better than him.”
“Just at gaming.”
“God, I don’t care!” he said noisily, and the TKN XTREME team looked over. Taguchi-kun still had the Peach crown on his head as he did thumb exercises, staring at him and Nino curiously.
Nino grabbed hold of his wrist and with all the controller gripping he’d been doing all day, Sho was pretty sure he’d have a bruise come morning. “What do you want?” Nino hissed. “Money?”
“What?”
Nino was deadly serious. The same kind of deadly serious he displayed when a new Takeuchi Yuko series came out on DVD and there were only so many limited edition copies. “Because I had to pay out the you know what to get some Nintendo guy to hack the game and set up the Rainbow Road Challenge. And then of course, all the Wiimotes and steering controllers I paid for out of my pocket...”
“Nino...”
“...Sho-kun, I have to win, can’t you understand?”
His eyes were so earnest, a little red from hour upon hour of the Rainbow Road track flashing before him. His Mario hat was drooping to nearly cover his eyebrows, and his skin was pale and a little sweaty from the gaming exertion and poor diet for the whole day.
Sho scowled. “No, I really don’t understand. At all.”
Matsujun returned from his umpteenth bathroom break and sat down at Sho’s side, arms crossed. “He knows, doesn’t he?”
Nino nodded. “Keio degree and all that.”
“Should I get him out of here?” Jun asked, sounding more like a yakuza than like Sho’s friend.
“You used MY email address,” Sho protested. “And MY computer!”
“Keep your voice down,” Nino insisted. “You’re the most legitimate of the five of us and you KNOW that.”
“What does that even mean?!” he squealed, setting down his chopsticks and getting to his feet. “This...” he said, flailing his arms around, “this stupid tournament! What is this?!”
“Sho-kun,” Jun said menacingly, standing and following him as Sho made his way around the table. Aiba focused on the game as best he could, but the little Yoshi kart was growing more wobbly on the rainbow-colored track. All Sho had to do was pull the power cord from the wall and TKN XTREME would win, meaningless as Sho figured that was.
“What’s going on over there?” Kamenashi called. “Is Arashi forfeiting?”
“Mind your business, Kame!” Nino snapped back.
He inched closer to the wall, and Jun got hold of one arm and Nino the other. “Let me...let me go. This has to stop. Johnny’s...are supposed...to...get along,” he complained, and Jun was even using his fingernails. Which was cheating and girly of him, Sho registered along with the pain.
“Sho-chan!” Aiba was mumbling, thumb jammed down on the controller for the accelerate button. “Don’t do anything boneheaded!”
“I’m...unplugging...the...damn...thing,” he wheezed.
“Do you want money? An apology? What do you want, Sho-chan?” Nino complained. “Stop already!”
What did he want? Yeah, he wanted Nino to get on his hands and knees and apologize until his voice wore out. He wanted Nino to apologize to Taguchi and the rest of the people he’d conned into wasting their day, especially the senpai who wanted to see Sho’s head on a pike. Well, that was mostly Nakai-san, but still.
But mostly, he just wanted to be included. He wanted to be a member of Stormfront.
He stopped struggling, sagging against Jun, who finally took his fingernails out of Sho’s forearm. “I want to play,” he said quietly.
“What was that?” Jun asked.
“No...” Nino said, “he’s not thinking straight.”
“I’m thinking perfectly perfect!” he said, stumbling immediately over his words. “And I want to play!”
“Rules say three players only!” Kamenashi cried from across the room.
“Mind your business, Kame!” Nino and Sho shouted in unison this time, and then their eyes met.
Aiba was shaking his head. “I’ve got this, Nino. Don’t...”
Nino was still watching Sho, who wasn’t looking away from the plug in the wall.
“Substitution!” Nino announced. “Sakurai’s replacing Aiba, effective for...the next five minutes.”
“Not fair!” Kamenashi screeched, opening his cell phone. “I’m calling in a substitute then!”
Nino gave Jun a nod, and he hurried over to the KAT-TUN area and tried to wrestle the cell phone away from Kamenashi while Taguchi struggled to keep Peach’s kart moving and Nakamaru napped in exhaustion on top the pile of Peach dresses. It was devolving into chaos now, but Nino said he could play!
Sho beamed from ear to ear, sitting down in the chair next to Aiba. “Maaaaasaki, it’s my turn.”
Aiba looked near tears. “Nino, this is a mistake...”
“His thumbs are fresh,” Nino said. “Five minutes. Go eat something.”
Aiba handed over the steering wheel. “Accel’s here, brake’s here.”
Sho pressed accelerate, smiling happily. Nino watched over him like a hawk, telling him when to brake and when to jump and when to swerve away from a banana peel. Yoshi was so cute and so green and Sho was the happiest guy in the world. He was doing well, and he got to his feet, turning the wheel at a curve and moving his whole body with it.
This was great! This was all worth the week of misery and the ten hours of sitting in the room watching people play Rainbow Road non-stop. Because he was accepted. He was one of them again. He was important and necessary! Arashi would win with everyone’s efforts! He wasn’t banned like he’d been from Falling Pipe and...
“Sho-chan, watch your foot...”
“You see that, Nino! I dodged the shell!”
“SHO-CHAN YOUR FOOT!”
And then it was all over too fast. Somehow he’d stood on the long, thin cord that connected the Wii sensor bar to the system. The bar went tumbling to the floor and disconnected and there was a giant warning on the screen as the system paused.
SENSOR BAR AND WII REMOTE DISCONNECTED. PLEASE CONNECT SENSOR BAR TO SYSTEM AND PRESS OK.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” Nino howled, falling to his knees.
Aiba came running out of the bathroom with his pants still around his ankles, and Matsujun and Kame paused mid-cell phone wrestling. Sho just stood there, mouth agape, staring at the TV screen. He’d only been playing for about forty-five seconds.
There were happy shouts from the TKN XTREME part of the room as Kame leapt onto Taguchi’s back in celebratory craziness, even though the guy was still steering Peach around just to prove he was still going. Nakamaru woke in confusion but soon smiled in contentment, waving to Sho and offering a thumbs up.
Jun soon pulled the controller out of Sho’s hand, refusing to look at him. The KAT-TUN guys kept whooping and cheering as Aiba and Nino started packing up the Wii system and shutting things down.
“I...I just wanted to play...” Sho protested.
Jun handed him the leftovers of the food Aiba’s parents had brought along with the sparkly uchiwas he and Satoshi-kun had slaved over. “Just go home, Sho-san.”
Still in shock and confusion and maybe a little guilt, he accepted the food and fans and did just that.
--
The next day, it seemed like the password for his super secret email had reverted to its original one. Sho was worried that there’d be hate mail from Nakai, gloating from Taguchi or Kamenashi, or maybe even notice that he’d been replaced in Arashi by some thirteen year old junior.
Instead there was an email from Nino with a subject line of “I’m Sorry.”
And it wasn’t just addressed to Sho either.
To: SakuRoxUrBodySho@gmail.com (Sakurai Sho)
From: level99_4life@gmail.com (Ninomiya Kazunari)
Bcc: [withheld]
Subject: I’m Sorry
Dear Johnny’s Participants in the Arashi Rainbow Road Challenge and anyone whose life may have been greatly affected by the Arashi Rainbow Road Challenge,
I apologize for the following:
-for using Sakurai Sho’s name and reputation for my own elaborate personal vendetta against a kohai (congrats Taguchi-kun and TKN team)
-for not providing ample refreshments leading to unfair and unsportsmanlike tournament environs
-for making it a trio-based tournament
I do not apologize for the following:
-for bringing people together for something besides Countdown. It was good to see you all.
Sincere and earnest apologies,
Ninomiya Kazunari
Sho closed the email and sighed. Well, he hadn’t expected Nino to ACTUALLY apologize. He wondered if a senpai or ten had been looking into the incident. He signed out of his email account and was about to dig in to the leftover food when his doorbell rang.
He opened the door to find Nino standing there looking friendly rather than murderous. “You get my email?” Nino asked, not bothering with a hello or a “hope you don’t mind me dropping by”. He stepped into the apartment like he owned the place. But that was Nino, Sho knew, and he felt a little better.
“I did get it,” he answered. “Thank you.”
“I hadn’t planned as well as I’d thought,” Nino admitted, sitting on the couch and unzipping his backpack.
Sho closed the door and threw the chain. “Apology accepted. And I guess...I guess I owe you an apology too. I cost Stormfront its victory.”
Nino nodded. “Taguchi didn’t really care in the end. He said it was a fun day. But he’s always been a little interesting upstairs, right?”
Sho watched Nino pull out a Wii system and a controller. “Why are you here?”
Nino held out the Wii remote and a steering wheel accessory. “I thought I’d be your coach. Stormfront needs everyone in top form. You know, for the next one.”
“The next one?”
Nino shrugged. “That is, if you intend to participate?”
Sho felt happiness from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, and he helped Nino get the system set up. Stormfront would definitely win next time if Sho had anything to say about it.
He looked to his friend and smiled. “Can I be Yoshi?”
Nino smiled in return. “Absolutely not.”
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Sho and Nino friendship; lots and lots of JE people
Summary: Nino challenges the entire Johnny's Jimusho to a Mario Kart tournament - but why is Sho so upset?
Notes/Warnings: For this year's je_justfriends.
Sho didn’t usually have a good sense for danger.
He’d eat plate after plate of yakiniku and then stand up wondering why he’d been so stupid as his stomach declared war on him. He’d try piling more clothes up in his laundry basket to lessen the number of trips back and forth to the washing machine and end up with clothes everywhere. And he certainly didn’t know Ninomiya as well as everyone thought he did. Because Ninomiya was dangerous, and Sho just never sniffed it out as quickly as he should have.
Because when he entered the green room after completing a solo photo shoot for Wink Up that day, the fact that Nino was furiously typing away on Sho’s own laptop didn’t really faze him. Nino borrowed the laptop all the time - checking for coupons from his favorite stores, surfing the web, etc. Nino liked Sho’s computer because it meant he didn’t have to lug his own around since Sho brought his everywhere.
And it wasn’t like Nino signed Sho up for porn or changed his desktop wallpaper to some creepy close-up of Matsujun’s nose hair (or at least he hadn’t in a few months). Nino respected Sho’s computer because he respected Sho. Somewhat.
But anyway, because Nino on Sho’s computer made sense to Sho, he just went to change back into his street clothes. Maybe the speed with which Nino was typing should have been a warning sign. Maybe the evil grin on Nino’s face would have been another clue. It wasn’t until Nino inquired about the nearest printer on the jimusho building’s wireless network that Sho was mildly concerned.
“What are you printing?” he asked, stumbling uncomfortably out of the obscenely tight jeans they’d put him in for the shoot.
Nino lowered the laptop lid to smile sweetly at him. “Just something for work.”
“Like what?”
Nino was getting more suspicious now, unplugging the power cord from the laptop and getting off the couch. His fingers had a death grip on the MacBook as he shuffled towards the door. “Like something for work.”
“You already said that,” Sho complained, making his way over to Nino. Maybe it WAS porn this time, and Sho had a good reputation around the jimusho. People liked him. He couldn’t let Nino’s mischief tarnish his reputation.
Nino slammed the laptop shut, tucking it under his arm. “Back off, Sakurai. Unless you intend to follow me out of here in just your boxers.”
Sho looked down. Damn him.
“It’s my computer, you know,” Sho protested. “I have a right to know what you’re using it for.”
Nino opened the door and smiled again. “Never you mind. I’ll bring it right back. Bye now.”
And Nino left him there in his underwear.
--
By the time Sho finished dressing and made it to the nearest printer Nino might have used, his bandmate was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and went back to the green room. His laptop had already been returned to his bag. It wasn’t really Ninomiya magic so much as Ninomiya crafty swiftness.
When he opened it, there was no sign of what Nino had done. Even checking Word, there was no trace of what Nino could have been typing. Nino had also cleared his browser history. Sho shrugged. Nino was just weird from time to time. It was probably nothing. Or maybe it was about a girl, and Sho didn’t need those details either. He checked his web mail, a few favorite websites and then shut the computer down. He had a meeting on the other side of town later that day anyhow.
Aiba came in, yammering away on his cell phone since his shoot was scheduled for that afternoon. “...going to be intense, Yoko, I swear. What do you mean you aren’t going to participate?”
Sho slung his bag over his shoulder. Aiba was talking to Yokoyama - but about what?
“Well, you guys are wimps. Come on, where’s your manhood?” Aiba continued.
What the hell were they talking about? Yokoyama was responding to Aiba so loudly that Sho could hear the muffled shouts even from the other end of the room, but Aiba didn’t even hold the phone away from his ear. But that was Aiba.
“Whatever,” Aiba said dismissively. “This is about pride. And spirit. And manliness. And endurance. And other...virtues that men have...and stuff. Adios!”
Sho watched Aiba click the phone shut, and all the show-offy determination melted from his face, replaced with that characteristic smile. Which he quickly turned on Sho.
“Sho-chaaaan, good morning!”
Sho grabbed the power cord that Nino had left beside the couch and shoved it into his bag. “Good morning. How’s Yokoyama-kun?”
Aiba cocked his head. “What?”
Sho blinked. “Yokoyama-kun. You were just talking to him?”
“No I wasn’t.”
“You were.”
“You misheard.”
“You called him Yoko.”
“Maybe your hearing is going.”
“But Aiba-chan...”
Aiba patted him on the shoulder fondly, which quickly became a shove toward the door. “Hearing loss is a very serious matter, especially in a job like ours, and I’d hate to see something bad happen to you. If you talk to Jun-kun, he probably has a phone book’s worth of specialists to recommend. You know him and his Web MD problem...”
“Aiba-chan...”
But his bandmate opened the door and pushed him roughly into the hallway. “Busy, busy Sho-chan, better get out of here and get to your whatever you have. You always have something, right? Bye!”
The door slammed in his face, and Sho sighed. Again. Nino and Aiba were both being sneaky. Well, whatever. Let them be, he thought. He had more important things to do. He headed for the elevator banks, only to find a crowd of juniors and other people gathered around one of the bulletin boards, whispering excitedly.
Well, there was no time. He ignored the crowd and headed out for his meeting.
--
After his meeting, he’d gotten a random, but friendly dinner invite from Nakai-san. The world was really tilting on its axis that day with suspicious Arashi behavior and an invitation from Nakai who never invited anyone out if he could help it. What the hell was going on?
Well, it wouldn’t do to be late for a dinner with a senpai, so he hurried to the restaurant. He found Nakai in a booth to the rear of the restaurant, and even when Sho exchanged pleasantries full of respectful language, his senpai just sneered at him.
“Okay, Sakurai. What’s with the war declaration?”
Sho had barely sat down and asked the waitress for some water. “I beg your pardon?”
Nakai eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t play coy with me, Mr. Keio graduate. Fame going to your head? Third year in a row for Kokuritsu making the five of you all high and mighty?”
“What?”
The waitress came back to take the order, and Nakai just barked out for her to bring whatever dinner specials would cost him the least amount of money. He then turned back to Sho with a glare. “Ohno-kun’s a better actor than you, and he’s sleeping half the time. So don’t think I can’t see through your lies.”
Sho was almost too confused to be insulted. “Really, I have no idea what I’ve done...or what Arashi has done to insult you, but let me just apologize on behalf of...”
Nakai slapped a piece of paper down on the table. “Just shut your mouth.”
He gulped, grabbing the edge of the paper with his fingertips to slide it over so he could read it.
He could already tell from the HEY LOSERS written across the top in big font that he was never going to let Nino use his computer again. The rest of the document was written in an equally disrespectful tone, although Nino had been thoughtful enough to put a cute rainbow border around the whole sheet.
HEY LOSERS
DO YOU HAVE THE TESTICULAR FORTITUDE TO DETHRONE ARASHI?
YOU ALL KNOW THAT NINTENDO LOVES US AND DOESN’T LOVE YOU, SO MAN UP AND TAKE THE CHALLENGE OR THE WHOLE AGENCY WILL KNOW OF YOUR FAILINGS BEHIND THE WHEEL. AND YOUR FAILINGS AS A MAN.
WHAT? ARASHI RAINBOW ROAD CHALLENGE
WHEN? THIS SUNDAY, NOON UNTIL ???
WHERE? YOU KNOW WHERE, THE ROOM ON THE SIXTH FLOOR BY THE VENDING MACHINE THAT NEVER WORKS
WHY? TO PROVE YOU DON’T SUCK
BRING? YOURSELF + 2 PEOPLE (TRIOS ONLY CAN REGISTER - TEAM NAME MANDATORY); WHATEVER WILL KEEP YOU AWAKE
RSVP TO SakuRoxUrBodySho@gmail.com WITH TEAM NAME AND PARTICIPANTS TO RECEIVE RULES
Sho was horrified, tossing the paper away in shock. How did Nino even know about his super secret personal email account?! And what’s more, what the hell was an Arashi Rainbow Road Challenge?!
Nakai crossed his arms. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I...I don’t know...”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Your email address is right there, openly challenging the manliness of the entire agency. Do you know this went to everybody? Everybody everybody? Higashiyama-san everybody?”
Sho felt his hands growing clammy. Oh god, what had Nino done? “Senpai, I really don’t know what this is...I...”
Their food arrived, and Nakai told the poor waitress to just box it up.
“You little upstarts, thinking you have it so tough,” Nakai grumbled. “Well, just wait for an email. Because sports music assemble people...and we assemble people to kick your ass at the Rainbow Road Challenge! Shingo has the thumb power of a man half his age!”
Thumb power?! Sho was near tears. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
The boxed food came. Nakai took both boxes along with the bill. “See you on Sunday.”
Sho was left confused, horrified, embarrassed, and pretty damn hungry. And then Nino wouldn’t answer his phone. What the hell was happening?
--
Aiba hadn’t answered. Neither had Matsujun. But Ohno answered on the sixth ring when Sho was pacing his bedroom floor.
“Ah, Sho-kun. Hello.”
“Don’t ‘Sho-kun hello’ me, alright?”
He heard Ohno turn down his music or TV on the other end. “You must have gotten the email. Nino is serious, huh?”
“What is going on? What is a Rainbow Road Challenge?”
His Leader was uncharacteristically quiet. There was normal Ohno quiet and then there was intentional Ohno silence.
“Satoshi-kun?”
And more silence.
“Satoshi-kun?!”
He could hear a blender. Ohno apparently didn’t see anything wrong with Arashi challenging the entire agency to some sort of manliness battle if he was busy making a milkshake or something.
“Ah, sorry. You’ll have to talk to Nino about it. I’m out of the loop.”
“You’re more in the loop than I am. Just tell me, would you?”
Ohno went on to explain in his usual calm manner that Arashi had apparently challenged the entire Johnny’s Jimusho to a Mario Kart tournament that Sunday. The rules list Nino was using Sho’s super secret personal email account to send out explained to the teams that it was a fight to the very last. Somehow, Nino had rigged a Wii to play the difficult Rainbow Road level on some kind of neverending loop.
Last team standing would win the respect of all in the agency. Of course, Ohno mentioned, Nino expected Arashi to win.
“But how come I didn’t know about this? He’s using MY email!”
“Well, he uh...”
“Satoshi-kun...”
“You see, he figured teams of three allow for a fair balance to switch as necessary, but still prove to be a challenge.”
Sho gripped his phone tightly. “Teams of three? Which means...”
Ohno coughed lightly. “The Arashi representatives are Nino, Aiba-chan, and Matsujun. Nino made a very elaborate pros and cons list. He agonized over it, Sho-kun, really he did...”
“But in the end you and I were excluded...”
“Ah, well, you see, I don’t have a driver’s license, so he thought I wouldn’t bring enough real world experience...”
“It’s a video game!”
“Nino is very serious about this, Sho-kun.”
So not only had Nino used Sho’s email account as the headquarters for this embarrassing tournament, but he’d kept Sho in the dark on purpose. And what was wrong with his driving skills? What was wrong with his gaming skills?
“Sho-kun, you’re busy, so I’m sure that’s why Nino chose the way he did. It’s not meant to be mean.”
But Sho was beyond mad now. He bet that Nino hadn’t even considered him. He’d been judged by his own group members - by his own group members! - and found to be unworthy of inclusion.
He cleared his throat. “I have to go now. Thanks for telling me.”
“I was going to make uchiwas to cheer everyone on. I know you’re bad with art, Sho-kun, but you can just use the glitter pens and-”
Sho hung up. He couldn’t recall hanging up on any group member in the past ten years, but then again, Arashi had always been five members with fairly equal standing. Even when he’d been banned from games on VS Arashi, it hadn’t hurt like this. Because he wasn’t THAT bad at Mario Kart. Not like he’d been bad at Falling Pipe before.
Nino had single-handedly insulted Sho and earned Sho the enmity of the entire jimusho.
This would not stand.
--
The next day was Shiyagare filming with all five members together, and Sho decided that if he was going to play in Ninomiya’s world, then he was going to have to play by Ninomiya’s rules.
He smiled and said good morning as though nothing was amiss. He’d already logged onto his super secret personal email account the night before and glanced at all the sign-up forms that had already come in. Nagase and the Kinki Kids were signed up as a unit called Guitar Heroes (which made little sense to Sho since it was a Mario Kart challenge, but he supposed that Tsuyoshi-san had been in charge of naming).
There was no Kanjani team that he could tell - maybe that was what Aiba and Yokoyama-kun had been arguing about. A team of NEWS representatives had registered as Team Mariiiiiiiio for some reason. There’d been three or four juniors teams, two Hey! Say! Jump groups and of course, Nakai had been true to his word. He’d registered a team called Senpai Strikers.
And the last team to register had been called TKN XTREME - it had come from an unregistered email account with the team members’ names in some sort of code. Sho had run it through Google Translate to no avail. Maybe it made sense to Nino. But who the hell was TKN XTREME?
“Sho-chan,” Nino said, slinking up and wrapping an arm around him. “Maybe I should have been more honest with you. But we didn’t want to make you mad...”
“Mad?” he responded, a little quicker than he should have. “Why would I be mad? I don’t have time for silly video games and things. I’ll be cheering you on!”
Aiba looked up from a Mario Kart strategy guide book, eyeing him suspiciously. But Nino’s face didn’t falter. “Well, that’s good to hear. I wouldn’t want this tournament to come between us. Stormfront may be three people, but Arashi is always five.”
Stormfront being the stupid name Nino had given their tournament entry team, Sho thought bitterly. If Nino had taken 30 seconds to Google the word, he’d have discovered it was the name of a racist website.
“Of course. Let’s work well together today,” Sho said, smiling brightly. It was going to be a real shock to Nino when Sho sabotaged Nino’s efforts.
It had nothing to do with Sho getting excluded or apparently being awful at Mario Kart. It was the PRINCIPLE of the matter. Of computers and email accounts and company printing software being used irresponsibly. Nino would learn to respect Sho’s property if it was the last thing the guy learned, Sho vowed.
--
Jun pulled him aside when filming was over. “Okay, it’s pretty obvious that you’re pissed off here.”
Sho shook his head. “What do you mean? I think it’s all in good fun, seeing who has the best gaming skills in the agency.”
“You’re an awful liar.”
He scowled. “Look Matsujun, I’m a little upset I didn’t find out about this whole tournament thing until after Nino had plastered the agency with threatening advertisements, but I’m not pissed off.” He held his hand at waist level. “Here’s me being upset. Right here.” He raised his hand above his head. “And here’s me pissed off.” He returned his hand to his waist. “I’m still here, Matsujun. I’m still at upset.”
Jun just sighed. “Well, whatever. Nino figured you’d react this way. We were hoping you’d just be so busy you wouldn’t notice. You can’t help that you suck, so we wanted to spare your feelings.”
He wondered if Matsujun could tell that Sho’s eye was twitching with each bluntly delivered word he said.
“How thoughtful of you guys,” he said gently, his hand at his waist starting to quiver a bit.
“But you’ll come Sunday right? I heard Leader’s making uchiwas. And we’ll probably need you to run out and get energy drinks for us.”
He twitched again. “Of course. Energy drinks.”
Jun gave him a playful shove. “Go Stormfront!” he said cheerfully and walked away with the arrogant swagger of someone who was actually going to prove his usefulness to Arashi on Sunday.
“Go Stormfront,” he grumbled, watching Jun walk away.
--
The next attempt to log in to his super secret personal email account met with failure.
“Password incorrect?!” he sputtered at the computer screen in disbelief. Nino had changed the password? To Sho’s OWN email account?
Okay. That did it. That was the last damn straw here. They’d ignored him, judged his Mario Karting skills inferior, and now they were locking him out of his own stuff? Nearly eleven years and this was how he was treated.
Well.
He decided to devote the rest of the night to investigating Ninomiya. Nino usually didn’t care enough about what was happening with the rest of the jimusho, so what was with the sudden manhood-defining tournament? Someone had to have pissed the guy off enough to organize the Mario Kart thing.
If Nino had wanted to just crush his opposition, he would have made it a magic trick talent show or maybe original Super Mario Brothers. Mario Kart had so many variables - shells, banana peels, or the Wiimote batteries dying. It was an endurance thing, not a skill thing, plain and simple.
What had triggered Nino?
He put on his best incognito hat and glasses and headed out into the neighborhood. Go to the source, he figured, heading to the convenience store on the corner. The glossy covers of smiling males greeted him in the idol magazine area. He read through the Wink Up message board sections. Nobody challenging Nino there.
He went through a few back issues of Myojo, tightening his cap on his head as a few high school girls poked through a few issues just beside him.
“Look at Nino-kun!” one of the girls said. “He’s so cute!”
“He really is the best looking one in Arashi, isn’t he?” her friend chimed in.
Sho turned away, flipping through this month’s Potato huffily. Well whatever. If only they knew that Nino hacked his so-called best friend’s email account in order to challenge the rest of the agency to some stupid video game.
The girls walked away whispering about the “creepy perv looking at the idol magazines,” but Sho didn’t really care. Because he’d found it. Just out of the corner of his eye in last month’s Popolo, but it was obvious once he saw it.
POPOLO: What skill do you possess that is greater than anyone else’s?
TAGUCHI: Well, isn’t it obvious? Video games! You thought I was going to say telling jokes, right? (laugh) But I really think I am the best gamer I know.
POPOLO: A lot of Johnny’s play games, right?
TAGUCHI: (laugh) I’m the best though! In Johnny’s definitely! Nobody plays as much as me!
Sho shut the magazine and chuckled to himself. TKN XTREME. He’d just discovered the T, hadn’t he? And with that, the K and the N became rather obvious. Sho knew that Nakamaru-kun loved playing Winning Eleven - they’d talked about soccer video games and their merits and weaknesses at the last Countdown. And then the K - Sho didn’t know Kamenashi-kun well, but if Sho knew anything, it was that Kamenashi was one competitive kid.
T K N. The KAT-TUN representative team.
Sho left the store and headed home. He had work to do.
--
Sunday morning came, and Sho entered the jimusho building with a smile and a case full of energy drinks for the Stormfront team. He and Satoshi-kun had stayed up late the night before designing uchiwas and drinking beer. Well, mostly drinking beer, but he was nice and hangover free. He had to be - today was the day that Nino would regret excluding Sho from any of his evil masterplans.
Upon arrival at the sixth floor room by the broken vending machine, he nearly collided with Nagase who had a strange hat on his head. There was an energy drink can haphazardly attached to either side of the hat and a large straw hanging down.
“Sakurai! Ballsy email you sent out, friend. Very ballsy,” Nagase said proudly, clapping a hand heavily on his shoulder. “I didn’t know you were so competitive.”
“Me neither,” Sho said quietly, heading into the room.
Nino was there in a Mario shirt, a Mario knit cap, and jeans with a Yoshi patch on the left ass cheek. He was in serious gaming mode, Sho knew.
“About time you got here. A man can’t live on Mountain Dew alone,” Nino said, taking the case of energy drinks from him.
Jun and Aiba were doing some very odd stretches. Very odd meaning they were stretching their arms and legs even though they’d just be using their thumbs for most of the tournament. Then again, the Wii wheel attachment had a tendency to be problematic if the system sensor bar was acting up.
Ohno was already there, setting up the uchiwas he and Sho had completed. The other teams were scattered throughout the room, and Nino had made a rather elaborate set-up. Three televisions with Wiis were set up, and three teams would compete on each. The rule of the day was endurance.
The Rainbow Road could usually be cleared in under ten minutes, but instead of things ending after lap three, the game would now loop. Thumbs would be tested, hearts would be broken. Whoever lasted the longest was apparently the manliest in the agency, which Sho found rather pointless.
But all the teams had serious faces. Team Mariiiiiiiio arrived with matching t-shirts apparently designed by Yamapi. Even friendly Masuda had a rather tough look when he, Koyama and Shige entered. The Senpai Strikers arrived soon thereafter wearing matching sweatbands - Nakai had brought Katori from SMAP and also Taichi from TOKIO.
Nino had a bullhorn (even though the room wasn’t THAT big) and he announced the team arrangements.
“Okay, here’s how it’s going. Stormfront will be here at TV 1, and we’ve claimed Yoshi...”
There were groans around the room.
“Ahem!” Nino cried. “As I said, Stormfront will be playing Yoshi on TV 1. We will be joined by the Donkey Kong’s Dong team...”
Some of the Hey Say Jump kids snickered, and Sho hid his own smile.
“...who will apparently be playing as Donkey Kong. Very surprising choice. And finally at TV 1, the Arashi Sucks team.”
Some juniors high fived and headed over. They each had Toad charms hanging around their neck, so Nino didn’t bother to announce it.
“TV 2! Senpai Strikers with Waluigi. Kart Maniacs with regular Luigi, and Guitar Heroes with Bowser.”
The respective teams headed over to the TV, and Nakai shot Sho a very dirty look as he departed. Sho just shook his head. Couldn’t they understand that none of this was his fault?
Nino shouted through the megaphone again. “And finally, TV 3. We have Team Mariiiiiiiio with Mario. Wow. The...damn it, Nakayama-kun, I said you couldn’t be the BayStars.”
Nakayama scowled at his senpai and stomped his feet. “But it’s a cool name!”
“It’s a baseball team,” Nino protested, still using the megaphone. “You couldn’t be more original? Even the Arashi Sucks team made an effort.”
“BayStars!” his teammate Chinen cried.
“Ugh, fine!” Nino said. “The BayStars will be Koopa Troopa and finally the other team will be Peach.”
“Oi!” Everyone turned to see the KAT-TUN representatives waving their hands frantically. They’d...they’d all cosplayed as Princess Peach. Taguchi being so tall looked like a drag queen, but Sho had to put his faith in the guy. A Taguchi victory would knock Nino down a few pegs.
“Say our name!” Nakamaru protested, looking ready to throw Peach’s crown Nino’s way.
Nino silenced the megaphone and spoke normally. “And NTK XTREME will...”
“TKN!” Kame cried.
Nino adjusted his Mario hat. “Whatever. TKN XTREME will challenge with the Peach kart. I have a letter here from Murakami Shingo-kun saying that Kanjani Eight would have sent a team but they are quote ‘withdrawing from the competition so as not to embarrass everyone with their skills’. Cowards. Anyhow! You know the rules. Rainbow Road until you drop. Gentlemen, may the best team win.”
Nino let Aiba take up the Wiimote and steering wheel attachment first, and all nine teams readied for battle. Sho readied for a TKN XTREME victory.
--
Four hours went by, and teams were already starting to drop. Poor bathroom break planning had been the end of the BayStars, and a lack of water or energy drinks ended the hopes of the Kart Maniacs, a Kis-My-Ft2 team who had been unable to bargain successfully. Nobody wanted to exchange water for a pair of roller skates in decent condition.
Donkey Kong’s Dong withdrew soon after when Morimoto-kun fell asleep at the console. Sho observed all of this with a conscientious eye, waving the Stormfront uchiwas like any zealous fan at the Tokyo Dome would. But it was clear that the battle would come down to Stormfront and TKN XTREME.
Nino was like a machine, knowing just when to turn at the curve in the track or time a jump. Matsujun and Aiba were utterly silent, passing off the controller in twenty minute shifts with Nino, taking bathroom breaks when needed. The three of them were sucking down an ungodly number of energy drinks when Sho knew his eyes would be swimming and his bladder would be screaming.
The Guitar Heroes were flagging - Nagase was getting angry with Bowser’s lack of control and kept falling off the track. He’d already pelted poor Koichi-san with an empty energy drink can ripped off of his hat. Toad’s speed was proving hazardous to the Arashi Sucks team as they kept flying into banana peels without braking appropriately.
It was only a matter of time, Sho thought, watching Nakamaru pulling off the itchy tights underneath his Peach dress to deposit them on the floor as Kamenashi gritted his teeth and accelerated around a tight curve.
Only a matter of time.
--
TV 2 was empty. The Senpai Strikers had not budgeted more than seven hours out of their schedules and departed quietly without a word or even one last glare from Nakai. The Guitar Heroes left when Tsuyoshi got a hand cramp. Hand cramps also felled the Arashi Sucks team.
That only left Team Mariiiiiiiio as competition for Stormfront and TKN XTREME, and though they’d planned for energy drinks, they were starving and all left clutching their stomachs in hunger when 10:00 PM rolled around.
Taguchi was downing Powerbars like potato chips, and Sho wasn’t sure that Kamenashi had even eaten since noon. They’d all changed out of the Peach cosplay - not because it affected their gaming, but because of taunting from Nakai all the way up to the Senpai Strikers’ departure.
Ohno left for a late night fishing trip, and Sho was the only observer left. Jun was busy playing when Nino came over, flexing his thumbs and eyeing Sho suspiciously.
“Still here, Sho-chan? That’s admirable of you.”
He munched on some gyoza that Aiba had had his parents deliver all the way from Chiba an hour earlier. “Oh you know, have to support my team.”
Nino sat down across from him, eyebrow raised. “Is that so?” He popped open what had to have been his eighth energy drink of the day.
“Didn’t think the KAT-TUN team would make it this far. They really do have some decent gamers, huh?”
Nino sipped his drink. “They’ll crash soon. They’ve had all those concerts lately. They’re exhausted.”
“Don’t sell them short,” Sho said, dipping a piece of gyoza in the sauce. “Why, you could say that Taguchi is the best gamer in Johnny’s.”
Nino nearly fell out of his chair. “You...”
“...found out what this was all about?” he said wickedly, talking with his mouth full of food in a way that would earn a slap from his mother. “You bet your Yoshi-patched ass I did.”
Nino lowered his voice considerably as Aiba replaced Jun at the console behind them. “Okay look, I know I didn’t go about this the right way...”
“Isn’t all this a bit much just because Taguchi-kun said something you didn’t like? You’ve got the whole agency hating me because you think you have to prove you’re better than him.”
“Just at gaming.”
“God, I don’t care!” he said noisily, and the TKN XTREME team looked over. Taguchi-kun still had the Peach crown on his head as he did thumb exercises, staring at him and Nino curiously.
Nino grabbed hold of his wrist and with all the controller gripping he’d been doing all day, Sho was pretty sure he’d have a bruise come morning. “What do you want?” Nino hissed. “Money?”
“What?”
Nino was deadly serious. The same kind of deadly serious he displayed when a new Takeuchi Yuko series came out on DVD and there were only so many limited edition copies. “Because I had to pay out the you know what to get some Nintendo guy to hack the game and set up the Rainbow Road Challenge. And then of course, all the Wiimotes and steering controllers I paid for out of my pocket...”
“Nino...”
“...Sho-kun, I have to win, can’t you understand?”
His eyes were so earnest, a little red from hour upon hour of the Rainbow Road track flashing before him. His Mario hat was drooping to nearly cover his eyebrows, and his skin was pale and a little sweaty from the gaming exertion and poor diet for the whole day.
Sho scowled. “No, I really don’t understand. At all.”
Matsujun returned from his umpteenth bathroom break and sat down at Sho’s side, arms crossed. “He knows, doesn’t he?”
Nino nodded. “Keio degree and all that.”
“Should I get him out of here?” Jun asked, sounding more like a yakuza than like Sho’s friend.
“You used MY email address,” Sho protested. “And MY computer!”
“Keep your voice down,” Nino insisted. “You’re the most legitimate of the five of us and you KNOW that.”
“What does that even mean?!” he squealed, setting down his chopsticks and getting to his feet. “This...” he said, flailing his arms around, “this stupid tournament! What is this?!”
“Sho-kun,” Jun said menacingly, standing and following him as Sho made his way around the table. Aiba focused on the game as best he could, but the little Yoshi kart was growing more wobbly on the rainbow-colored track. All Sho had to do was pull the power cord from the wall and TKN XTREME would win, meaningless as Sho figured that was.
“What’s going on over there?” Kamenashi called. “Is Arashi forfeiting?”
“Mind your business, Kame!” Nino snapped back.
He inched closer to the wall, and Jun got hold of one arm and Nino the other. “Let me...let me go. This has to stop. Johnny’s...are supposed...to...get along,” he complained, and Jun was even using his fingernails. Which was cheating and girly of him, Sho registered along with the pain.
“Sho-chan!” Aiba was mumbling, thumb jammed down on the controller for the accelerate button. “Don’t do anything boneheaded!”
“I’m...unplugging...the...damn...thing,” he wheezed.
“Do you want money? An apology? What do you want, Sho-chan?” Nino complained. “Stop already!”
What did he want? Yeah, he wanted Nino to get on his hands and knees and apologize until his voice wore out. He wanted Nino to apologize to Taguchi and the rest of the people he’d conned into wasting their day, especially the senpai who wanted to see Sho’s head on a pike. Well, that was mostly Nakai-san, but still.
But mostly, he just wanted to be included. He wanted to be a member of Stormfront.
He stopped struggling, sagging against Jun, who finally took his fingernails out of Sho’s forearm. “I want to play,” he said quietly.
“What was that?” Jun asked.
“No...” Nino said, “he’s not thinking straight.”
“I’m thinking perfectly perfect!” he said, stumbling immediately over his words. “And I want to play!”
“Rules say three players only!” Kamenashi cried from across the room.
“Mind your business, Kame!” Nino and Sho shouted in unison this time, and then their eyes met.
Aiba was shaking his head. “I’ve got this, Nino. Don’t...”
Nino was still watching Sho, who wasn’t looking away from the plug in the wall.
“Substitution!” Nino announced. “Sakurai’s replacing Aiba, effective for...the next five minutes.”
“Not fair!” Kamenashi screeched, opening his cell phone. “I’m calling in a substitute then!”
Nino gave Jun a nod, and he hurried over to the KAT-TUN area and tried to wrestle the cell phone away from Kamenashi while Taguchi struggled to keep Peach’s kart moving and Nakamaru napped in exhaustion on top the pile of Peach dresses. It was devolving into chaos now, but Nino said he could play!
Sho beamed from ear to ear, sitting down in the chair next to Aiba. “Maaaaasaki, it’s my turn.”
Aiba looked near tears. “Nino, this is a mistake...”
“His thumbs are fresh,” Nino said. “Five minutes. Go eat something.”
Aiba handed over the steering wheel. “Accel’s here, brake’s here.”
Sho pressed accelerate, smiling happily. Nino watched over him like a hawk, telling him when to brake and when to jump and when to swerve away from a banana peel. Yoshi was so cute and so green and Sho was the happiest guy in the world. He was doing well, and he got to his feet, turning the wheel at a curve and moving his whole body with it.
This was great! This was all worth the week of misery and the ten hours of sitting in the room watching people play Rainbow Road non-stop. Because he was accepted. He was one of them again. He was important and necessary! Arashi would win with everyone’s efforts! He wasn’t banned like he’d been from Falling Pipe and...
“Sho-chan, watch your foot...”
“You see that, Nino! I dodged the shell!”
“SHO-CHAN YOUR FOOT!”
And then it was all over too fast. Somehow he’d stood on the long, thin cord that connected the Wii sensor bar to the system. The bar went tumbling to the floor and disconnected and there was a giant warning on the screen as the system paused.
SENSOR BAR AND WII REMOTE DISCONNECTED. PLEASE CONNECT SENSOR BAR TO SYSTEM AND PRESS OK.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” Nino howled, falling to his knees.
Aiba came running out of the bathroom with his pants still around his ankles, and Matsujun and Kame paused mid-cell phone wrestling. Sho just stood there, mouth agape, staring at the TV screen. He’d only been playing for about forty-five seconds.
There were happy shouts from the TKN XTREME part of the room as Kame leapt onto Taguchi’s back in celebratory craziness, even though the guy was still steering Peach around just to prove he was still going. Nakamaru woke in confusion but soon smiled in contentment, waving to Sho and offering a thumbs up.
Jun soon pulled the controller out of Sho’s hand, refusing to look at him. The KAT-TUN guys kept whooping and cheering as Aiba and Nino started packing up the Wii system and shutting things down.
“I...I just wanted to play...” Sho protested.
Jun handed him the leftovers of the food Aiba’s parents had brought along with the sparkly uchiwas he and Satoshi-kun had slaved over. “Just go home, Sho-san.”
Still in shock and confusion and maybe a little guilt, he accepted the food and fans and did just that.
--
The next day, it seemed like the password for his super secret email had reverted to its original one. Sho was worried that there’d be hate mail from Nakai, gloating from Taguchi or Kamenashi, or maybe even notice that he’d been replaced in Arashi by some thirteen year old junior.
Instead there was an email from Nino with a subject line of “I’m Sorry.”
And it wasn’t just addressed to Sho either.
To: SakuRoxUrBodySho@gmail.com (Sakurai Sho)
From: level99_4life@gmail.com (Ninomiya Kazunari)
Bcc: [withheld]
Subject: I’m Sorry
Dear Johnny’s Participants in the Arashi Rainbow Road Challenge and anyone whose life may have been greatly affected by the Arashi Rainbow Road Challenge,
I apologize for the following:
-for using Sakurai Sho’s name and reputation for my own elaborate personal vendetta against a kohai (congrats Taguchi-kun and TKN team)
-for not providing ample refreshments leading to unfair and unsportsmanlike tournament environs
-for making it a trio-based tournament
I do not apologize for the following:
-for bringing people together for something besides Countdown. It was good to see you all.
Sincere and earnest apologies,
Ninomiya Kazunari
Sho closed the email and sighed. Well, he hadn’t expected Nino to ACTUALLY apologize. He wondered if a senpai or ten had been looking into the incident. He signed out of his email account and was about to dig in to the leftover food when his doorbell rang.
He opened the door to find Nino standing there looking friendly rather than murderous. “You get my email?” Nino asked, not bothering with a hello or a “hope you don’t mind me dropping by”. He stepped into the apartment like he owned the place. But that was Nino, Sho knew, and he felt a little better.
“I did get it,” he answered. “Thank you.”
“I hadn’t planned as well as I’d thought,” Nino admitted, sitting on the couch and unzipping his backpack.
Sho closed the door and threw the chain. “Apology accepted. And I guess...I guess I owe you an apology too. I cost Stormfront its victory.”
Nino nodded. “Taguchi didn’t really care in the end. He said it was a fun day. But he’s always been a little interesting upstairs, right?”
Sho watched Nino pull out a Wii system and a controller. “Why are you here?”
Nino held out the Wii remote and a steering wheel accessory. “I thought I’d be your coach. Stormfront needs everyone in top form. You know, for the next one.”
“The next one?”
Nino shrugged. “That is, if you intend to participate?”
Sho felt happiness from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, and he helped Nino get the system set up. Stormfront would definitely win next time if Sho had anything to say about it.
He looked to his friend and smiled. “Can I be Yoshi?”
Nino smiled in return. “Absolutely not.”