Fallout
Falling in love is an exhilarating experience.
The nervous glances, the angst of saying something incorrectly. Sharing smiles, sharing hands and soon lips. Locking eyes you can see each others souls, feel each others thoughts.
And then the constant feeling of love. Everything she does makes you smile. The more you learn the more you love. You can talk for hours about anything and nothing all the same. Cuddle to watch some television on a lousy weather weekend, it doesn't even matter whats on.
The little things matter the most. Holding hands in the car. She kisses you while retrieving her purse from the back seat. She smiles when you mess up a sentence so badly that it is incoherent.. because she can still understand what you're trying to say. She'll find you in a social setting, just to give you a kiss on the cheek.
You grow older, everything is still an adventure. Learn to cook, manage a house and a budget, and all without skipping a beat.
You bide your time waiting for the economy to turn around to get a respectable job and marry her. She is the one for you.
Something strange happens. There is a moment where she doesn't kiss your cheek in the car. It feels odd to not receive the kiss, but its nothing.
Months go by, she starts sitting a little further away on the couch at night. You stop holding hands in the car.
Messing up sentences begins to frustrate her. The smiles become few and far between.
More months pass. Eye contact begins to become a rarity. When your eyes finally lock, you no longer see the soul, you just see beautiful eyes.
It takes that moment before it dawns on you. You've just witnessed someone falling out of love with you. Blind with your own love, you avoided accepting the distance growing between you.
You're then left with an awful truth.
You are alone.
The moments of sweetness and tenderness slowly vanished, leaving a void in your heart. The void fills with disgust first. How could you have wasted six years of your life? Was it worth it? She must not like you at all anymore, why didn't you see it?
Then comes the guilt. Why did you smother her so much? Why didn't you give her space? Why didn't you go out that night with her friends?
After that, acceptance. It just wasn't working out. There are other girls in the world, you'll find one to try it again someday.
Lastly, you feel empty again.
This is something that I never thought I would have to deal with. Sure I've had relationships and break-ups, but nothing quite adds up to seeing the person you love slowly become disinterested in you.
Falling out of love is an excruciating experience.
The nervous glances, the angst of saying something incorrectly. Sharing smiles, sharing hands and soon lips. Locking eyes you can see each others souls, feel each others thoughts.
And then the constant feeling of love. Everything she does makes you smile. The more you learn the more you love. You can talk for hours about anything and nothing all the same. Cuddle to watch some television on a lousy weather weekend, it doesn't even matter whats on.
The little things matter the most. Holding hands in the car. She kisses you while retrieving her purse from the back seat. She smiles when you mess up a sentence so badly that it is incoherent.. because she can still understand what you're trying to say. She'll find you in a social setting, just to give you a kiss on the cheek.
You grow older, everything is still an adventure. Learn to cook, manage a house and a budget, and all without skipping a beat.
You bide your time waiting for the economy to turn around to get a respectable job and marry her. She is the one for you.
Something strange happens. There is a moment where she doesn't kiss your cheek in the car. It feels odd to not receive the kiss, but its nothing.
Months go by, she starts sitting a little further away on the couch at night. You stop holding hands in the car.
Messing up sentences begins to frustrate her. The smiles become few and far between.
More months pass. Eye contact begins to become a rarity. When your eyes finally lock, you no longer see the soul, you just see beautiful eyes.
It takes that moment before it dawns on you. You've just witnessed someone falling out of love with you. Blind with your own love, you avoided accepting the distance growing between you.
You're then left with an awful truth.
You are alone.
The moments of sweetness and tenderness slowly vanished, leaving a void in your heart. The void fills with disgust first. How could you have wasted six years of your life? Was it worth it? She must not like you at all anymore, why didn't you see it?
Then comes the guilt. Why did you smother her so much? Why didn't you give her space? Why didn't you go out that night with her friends?
After that, acceptance. It just wasn't working out. There are other girls in the world, you'll find one to try it again someday.
Lastly, you feel empty again.
This is something that I never thought I would have to deal with. Sure I've had relationships and break-ups, but nothing quite adds up to seeing the person you love slowly become disinterested in you.
Falling out of love is an excruciating experience.