and tonight on American Idol: Studio 57
That was a trainwreck of an episode apart from Adam (okay fine, you win, you are now officially my favorite) and Kris. I don't know, I guess they just won't spring for the cost of licensing ACTUAL current hit songs or something? That is the only thing I can possibly imagine as the explanation.
Except for Danny Hokey's OH SO SHOCKING SELECTION, "What Hurts The Most" otherwise known as "Remember How Sad I Am (About My Dead Wife)". Danny, what hurts the most is YOU.
(Although the commercials for this horrific Osbournes series hurt almost as much even on fast-forward.)
Okay, so here is a quick recap of all the badness, mostly to convey the state in which I watched the ending:
Anoop: Usher song. meh. I really like him, but I just don't think his voice is that great, and he's trying to make it be more than it can be.
Megan: Bob Marley. Boring, bad and kind of sad because she was SO HOPEFUL in the promo bit -- "I bet the judges will like this one!" uh, no. Sadly, you do have to be able to hit notes to sing live no matter how pretty you are.
Danny Gokey: DIE DIE DIE. See above. Also the judges gave him a tongue-bath and a special sit-down moment with Ryan where he got to give lots of excuses for why he was crappy last week. (How about the last three weeks before that?)
Allison Iraheta: Don't Speak by No Doubt, not that you would know that she did any singing whatsoever by the judges' comments, because the only thing they talked about was her dress instead of her singing, and HEY CAMERAMAN here is a suggestion: how about NOT panning up and down the sixteen-year-old's body repeatedly while the judges rip her personal appearance to shreds? wow. Sadly it was also kind of shouty.
Scott: Gets a heaping pile of praise for doing a weak karaoke version of Billy Joel, for no discernable reason except the absolute suckiness of the night so far. And I grew up on Long Island, so I love me some Billy Joel, but Billy Joel this guy is not (and also, by no stretch of the imagination is Billy Joel CURRENT). Granted, when the judges tell him it's his best performance so far of the season, that is not a very high bar to hit.
Matt: A Fray song. Parts of it were decent, but I have no idea why he planted himself with his keyboard out in the middle of the studio audience unless he decided to start making his way out of the theater on his own initiative early before he is voted off in favor of people who don't inflict that horrible falsetto on helpless listeners.
Lil Rounds: breaking out the Celine with predictably lame results. She keeps going flat for me whenever she tries to really belt it out.
So basically, at this point in the night everyone including the judges had been 100% made of fail, and I had succumbed and read song spoilers so I knew that Adam Lambert was about to do "Play That Funky Music" and I was waiting for a train wreck.
And -- well, actually this kind of IS still a trainwreck in some ways because NO ONE should sing Play That Funky Music as a performance except in a nightclub, but it is the giant special-effects trainwreck from The Fugitive movie where the second locomotive comes BOOM off the train tracks and races right at you with the headlights blazing and you go "AAAAA, run Harrison Ford, run!" It is a trainwreck of awesome.
And he even stays super-classy again with the shout-out to the band! Also, he has toned down the excessive leering at the camera. So, yes, fine, I concede, he has gotten me.
The video also includes the comment of the night, when Kara excitedly proclaims, "It's like Studio 57 in here!" Uh, right. Just please stop using numbers, Kara. Ever. *facepalm*
And then finally Kris Allen pops up to close out the show, does an actually good version of "Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone," which is not karaoke and also not a trainwreck and quite fun!
He also happens to be Adam's roommate, so maybe I can has OTP for this season? He is still kind of boring to me and I don't really get his appeal, so I am not really feeling it yet, but if he does a few more songs like that I may get on board.
You know what might help would be if Adam would go on at length all about what it is like being roommates with Kris and how awesome he is. *waits hopefully*
Oh, hey.
Anyway, before that, earlier today I attempted to explain to merryish exactly how I got sucked back in again and she made fun of me and also led me into bad and wrong story directions. :(
shalott hahaha everyone clearly does think I have lost my mind
Merry oh?
* shalott posted new Idol story :P
Merry I saw that, and I was confused
Merry I thought you liked those other guys!
shalott I do! but the thing with Idol is
shalott it's not like a new season of the same show
shalott it's like the spinoff show
shalott where the characters from the old show occasionally make a guest appearance
Merry so there are NEW cute guys... ah
shalott it's like going to SGA from SG1
shalott yes!
shalott the second guy is not however cute
shalott the second guy is a PLAGUE WHO MUST BE STOPPED
* Merry giggles
Merry I mean, right!
Merry now the other guy looks like Jonas in my head
shalott bland sort-of-blond insert rammed down our throats with a Mary Sue story
shalott not a bad parallel
shalott :P
Merry so is this other guy getting in your REAL pairing?
shalott I don't yet have a real pairing
shalott I mean, this story was more, I Hate Danny Gokey And Want To Make Him Suffer
shalott Adam Lambert is my favorite this season, but I don't quite have a matchup for him yet
shalott it may be that it's hard, during Idol
shalott because the problem is they're in competition
shalott so the antagonist slash thing worked quite nicely but
shalott not my usual happy OTP thing
Merry *nodnod*
Merry I didn't know you watched it regularly, I thought you just got hooked on the two Davids
shalott I didn't, last year was my first year
shalott this year was going to be casual
shalott :P
Merry heeeeee
Merry oh, honey
shalott :(
Merry you haven't figured out yet that you don't do casual with your fandoms?
* shalott will just not watch it next year at all
Merry *hugs you*
Merry you are all in, or all out
shalott well, except I thought it wasn't going to be like that because all my characters went away
shalott and I have no desire to write about the judges or Ryan
Merry if you ever write about Ryan Seacrest
Merry I may need to... take action.
Merry decisive action.
* shalott quails in fear
shalott more of me ever wanting to write about ryan seacrest, actually
shalott although now you mention it, I am all hey, adam could show ryan why being out is fun :P
Merry lolol
shalott ahaha omg
* shalott covers face
shalott Merry damn yooooou
* shalott now suddenly has full blown story where
Merry omg you canNOT blame me!
shalott Ryan Seacrest is really annoyed because actually he's straight and only likes girls
shalott and then ends up making out with Adam and realizes that possibly he might be wrong about that after all
Merry you are a freakish, terrible woman
shalott and everyone else in the world goes, "Duh."
Merry and I am NOT RESPONSIBLE
shalott it is YOUR FAULT
Merry that is a lie!
Merry i said DON'T do it!
* shalott wasn't even THINKING about Ryan Seacrest until you stuck it in my head
Merry you mentioned him first, clearly you were subconsciously thinking about him!
shalott omg I was not
shalott except about how I was not at all interested in writing about him or the judges
* shalott weeps
Merry you can fight it off
Merry you can!
:((((
Except for Danny Hokey's OH SO SHOCKING SELECTION, "What Hurts The Most" otherwise known as "Remember How Sad I Am (About My Dead Wife)". Danny, what hurts the most is YOU.
(Although the commercials for this horrific Osbournes series hurt almost as much even on fast-forward.)
Okay, so here is a quick recap of all the badness, mostly to convey the state in which I watched the ending:
Anoop: Usher song. meh. I really like him, but I just don't think his voice is that great, and he's trying to make it be more than it can be.
Megan: Bob Marley. Boring, bad and kind of sad because she was SO HOPEFUL in the promo bit -- "I bet the judges will like this one!" uh, no. Sadly, you do have to be able to hit notes to sing live no matter how pretty you are.
Danny Gokey: DIE DIE DIE. See above. Also the judges gave him a tongue-bath and a special sit-down moment with Ryan where he got to give lots of excuses for why he was crappy last week. (How about the last three weeks before that?)
Allison Iraheta: Don't Speak by No Doubt, not that you would know that she did any singing whatsoever by the judges' comments, because the only thing they talked about was her dress instead of her singing, and HEY CAMERAMAN here is a suggestion: how about NOT panning up and down the sixteen-year-old's body repeatedly while the judges rip her personal appearance to shreds? wow. Sadly it was also kind of shouty.
Scott: Gets a heaping pile of praise for doing a weak karaoke version of Billy Joel, for no discernable reason except the absolute suckiness of the night so far. And I grew up on Long Island, so I love me some Billy Joel, but Billy Joel this guy is not (and also, by no stretch of the imagination is Billy Joel CURRENT). Granted, when the judges tell him it's his best performance so far of the season, that is not a very high bar to hit.
Matt: A Fray song. Parts of it were decent, but I have no idea why he planted himself with his keyboard out in the middle of the studio audience unless he decided to start making his way out of the theater on his own initiative early before he is voted off in favor of people who don't inflict that horrible falsetto on helpless listeners.
Lil Rounds: breaking out the Celine with predictably lame results. She keeps going flat for me whenever she tries to really belt it out.
So basically, at this point in the night everyone including the judges had been 100% made of fail, and I had succumbed and read song spoilers so I knew that Adam Lambert was about to do "Play That Funky Music" and I was waiting for a train wreck.
And -- well, actually this kind of IS still a trainwreck in some ways because NO ONE should sing Play That Funky Music as a performance except in a nightclub, but it is the giant special-effects trainwreck from The Fugitive movie where the second locomotive comes BOOM off the train tracks and races right at you with the headlights blazing and you go "AAAAA, run Harrison Ford, run!" It is a trainwreck of awesome.
And he even stays super-classy again with the shout-out to the band! Also, he has toned down the excessive leering at the camera. So, yes, fine, I concede, he has gotten me.
The video also includes the comment of the night, when Kara excitedly proclaims, "It's like Studio 57 in here!" Uh, right. Just please stop using numbers, Kara. Ever. *facepalm*
And then finally Kris Allen pops up to close out the show, does an actually good version of "Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone," which is not karaoke and also not a trainwreck and quite fun!
He also happens to be Adam's roommate, so maybe I can has OTP for this season? He is still kind of boring to me and I don't really get his appeal, so I am not really feeling it yet, but if he does a few more songs like that I may get on board.
You know what might help would be if Adam would go on at length all about what it is like being roommates with Kris and how awesome he is. *waits hopefully*
Oh, hey.
Anyway, before that, earlier today I attempted to explain to merryish exactly how I got sucked back in again and she made fun of me and also led me into bad and wrong story directions. :(
shalott hahaha everyone clearly does think I have lost my mind
Merry oh?
* shalott posted new Idol story :P
Merry I saw that, and I was confused
Merry I thought you liked those other guys!
shalott I do! but the thing with Idol is
shalott it's not like a new season of the same show
shalott it's like the spinoff show
shalott where the characters from the old show occasionally make a guest appearance
Merry so there are NEW cute guys... ah
shalott it's like going to SGA from SG1
shalott yes!
shalott the second guy is not however cute
shalott the second guy is a PLAGUE WHO MUST BE STOPPED
* Merry giggles
Merry I mean, right!
Merry now the other guy looks like Jonas in my head
shalott bland sort-of-blond insert rammed down our throats with a Mary Sue story
shalott not a bad parallel
shalott :P
Merry so is this other guy getting in your REAL pairing?
shalott I don't yet have a real pairing
shalott I mean, this story was more, I Hate Danny Gokey And Want To Make Him Suffer
shalott Adam Lambert is my favorite this season, but I don't quite have a matchup for him yet
shalott it may be that it's hard, during Idol
shalott because the problem is they're in competition
shalott so the antagonist slash thing worked quite nicely but
shalott not my usual happy OTP thing
Merry *nodnod*
Merry I didn't know you watched it regularly, I thought you just got hooked on the two Davids
shalott I didn't, last year was my first year
shalott this year was going to be casual
shalott :P
Merry heeeeee
Merry oh, honey
shalott :(
Merry you haven't figured out yet that you don't do casual with your fandoms?
* shalott will just not watch it next year at all
Merry *hugs you*
Merry you are all in, or all out
shalott well, except I thought it wasn't going to be like that because all my characters went away
shalott and I have no desire to write about the judges or Ryan
Merry if you ever write about Ryan Seacrest
Merry I may need to... take action.
Merry decisive action.
* shalott quails in fear
shalott more of me ever wanting to write about ryan seacrest, actually
shalott although now you mention it, I am all hey, adam could show ryan why being out is fun :P
Merry lolol
shalott ahaha omg
* shalott covers face
shalott Merry damn yooooou
* shalott now suddenly has full blown story where
Merry omg you canNOT blame me!
shalott Ryan Seacrest is really annoyed because actually he's straight and only likes girls
shalott and then ends up making out with Adam and realizes that possibly he might be wrong about that after all
Merry you are a freakish, terrible woman
shalott and everyone else in the world goes, "Duh."
Merry and I am NOT RESPONSIBLE
shalott it is YOUR FAULT
Merry that is a lie!
Merry i said DON'T do it!
* shalott wasn't even THINKING about Ryan Seacrest until you stuck it in my head
Merry you mentioned him first, clearly you were subconsciously thinking about him!
shalott omg I was not
shalott except about how I was not at all interested in writing about him or the judges
* shalott weeps
Merry you can fight it off
Merry you can!
:((((