(no subject)
They tried to make me go to rehab and I said: "Okay".
No, I'm not being sent off to deal with any addiction problems. I've merely begun rehabilitating myself by reading. My brain got fried pretty badly when I had my breakdown, but now I've started being able to read things more normally. I still skim (I've always rushed when I read, not sure why), but I'm trying to deliberately slow down and take in what I'm reading.
So I've been debating (with myself, as one always does) which book to start with. Should it be something new, or something I'm familiar with? An old favorite seemed like a good idea, but then I figured that if I can't finish it, that favorite book will for all eternity be associated with my grand failure. It sucks having a brain which mainly feeds on associations.
I also faced the problem with finding a book which wasn't too thick, or had letters in too small print. Let's face it, that book doesn't exist. Then I thought I should pick up where I left off with my H.C. Andersen collection. Those stories aren't too long, and they're lovely. But, no. Just, no. Although I understand Danish, it's basically a third language, and it seems rather dumb to start with something so "advanced".
But now I think I've settled for one that might work:
The skinny little collection of William Wordsworth's poems.
- putting up Christmas lights
- the smell of hot cocoa
- being covered in the smell of the cookies you baked earlier
- warm socks
- a cute guy parking in the spot opposite to you
- someone - anyone - who makes you smile
- photos of friends being one of the last things you see before bed
- homemade cookies
- pockets
- tzatziki
- skipping the polite small talk and diving right into the heavier topics
- the subtle nuances in your hair
- a goodnight text message
- laughing yourself to sleep
- the ridiculous reality that it's nearly impossible to find a diary, stationery or proper hardback notebook anymore
- creative booing
- throwing a snowball at an unsuspecting friend
- just rough enough
- someone getting caught in a net
- the embarrassing dumbness you feel when you just cannot find the logout button on a website
Earlier today, I reached out to an old friend I met online many, many years ago. He replied right away, really happy to hear from me. It's very rare that I do this, so I hope he knows he's special :p
Speaking of friends: I had an amazing time with new friends on Tuesday. I hung out with two of the three girls (besides myself) that make up our college book club. That's what we call the gang: the Book Club. I haven't seen any of them since November, so this was really nice. They're the kind of people you imagine you aren't very close with, because you're new to each other, but we really click! And I was over the moon to hear that one of the girls is moving withint walking distance from my house!!! I haven't had a friend in walking distance since 9th grade!
I'm going to a game night with "old" friends tonight (that sounds so mean, but I don't mean it like that), which I hope will be a lot of fun. And I'm also wearing my friendship bracelet from my Soul Sister. I'm in a very friendly mood these days.
No, I'm not being sent off to deal with any addiction problems. I've merely begun rehabilitating myself by reading. My brain got fried pretty badly when I had my breakdown, but now I've started being able to read things more normally. I still skim (I've always rushed when I read, not sure why), but I'm trying to deliberately slow down and take in what I'm reading.
So I've been debating (with myself, as one always does) which book to start with. Should it be something new, or something I'm familiar with? An old favorite seemed like a good idea, but then I figured that if I can't finish it, that favorite book will for all eternity be associated with my grand failure. It sucks having a brain which mainly feeds on associations.
I also faced the problem with finding a book which wasn't too thick, or had letters in too small print. Let's face it, that book doesn't exist. Then I thought I should pick up where I left off with my H.C. Andersen collection. Those stories aren't too long, and they're lovely. But, no. Just, no. Although I understand Danish, it's basically a third language, and it seems rather dumb to start with something so "advanced".
But now I think I've settled for one that might work:
The skinny little collection of William Wordsworth's poems.
- putting up Christmas lights
- the smell of hot cocoa
- being covered in the smell of the cookies you baked earlier
- warm socks
- a cute guy parking in the spot opposite to you
- someone - anyone - who makes you smile
- photos of friends being one of the last things you see before bed
- homemade cookies
- pockets
- tzatziki
- skipping the polite small talk and diving right into the heavier topics
- the subtle nuances in your hair
- a goodnight text message
- laughing yourself to sleep
- the ridiculous reality that it's nearly impossible to find a diary, stationery or proper hardback notebook anymore
- creative booing
- throwing a snowball at an unsuspecting friend
- just rough enough
- someone getting caught in a net
- the embarrassing dumbness you feel when you just cannot find the logout button on a website
Earlier today, I reached out to an old friend I met online many, many years ago. He replied right away, really happy to hear from me. It's very rare that I do this, so I hope he knows he's special :p
Speaking of friends: I had an amazing time with new friends on Tuesday. I hung out with two of the three girls (besides myself) that make up our college book club. That's what we call the gang: the Book Club. I haven't seen any of them since November, so this was really nice. They're the kind of people you imagine you aren't very close with, because you're new to each other, but we really click! And I was over the moon to hear that one of the girls is moving withint walking distance from my house!!! I haven't had a friend in walking distance since 9th grade!
I'm going to a game night with "old" friends tonight (that sounds so mean, but I don't mean it like that), which I hope will be a lot of fun. And I'm also wearing my friendship bracelet from my Soul Sister. I'm in a very friendly mood these days.