Twyla
A comment I just left on a friend's post got me thinking about something. For the past couple of years or so, I've been feeling my mortality more and more, feeling like there is no time to do the things I've never done, fix the problems, start a life somewhere I actually want to be, start a career, not to mention become involved in music in any real way. It's been downright paralyzing and I'm starting to feel a bit panicky about it. In the eye of this little storm, I recently had a mini revelation that bloomed out of a chance encounter at a thrift store in Henderson Center with a woman named Twyla. I was offering an old computer to this store but they couldn't take it. A woman overheard and outside, told me her grandson might want it. She was older, was on a bike and looked prepared and healthy, as if her main mode of transport was her bike. After a brief chat, we exchanged info and off we went to our lives. A couple of days later, she called and told me her grandson did want the computer so I took it to her place. She lives in an old Victorian which has been converted into apartments in Eureka on a really nice block. She comes downstairs and there she is, lean and muscular, glowing and quirky. She reminds me of a strange and wonderful woman I haven't seen in years so I already have this sense of familiarity. Her apartment is bright and airy. She shows me her kitchen. She goes on to point out the work she has done herself with recycled materials, this wall came down for that nook, that counter was made with an old door, that window was caulked just last week, etc. She had homemade banana muffins. They were really good. At some point she informs me she's 64. So, I'm already inspired by this woman; her strength, her ingenuity, her quirkiness. It all became distilled into an official moment of clarity when we started talking about our prefered geographical location to call home. Anyone who knows me has heard me bitch about being stuck here and that I desparately want out but I've been feeling like my youth is being drained away so what does it matter anymore? Then Twyla told me her goal is to live in Seattle someday. I suddenly had this realization that I could have 40 more years of being like her and all I have to do is start now. And this time/age related concept has been a constant thread lately. How many lifetimes we're given and I've really only lived a couple so far. I have so many more and I'm wasting them all and preparing the next for failure as well. So, I'm going to try and channel the spirit of Twyla into my life.