Whoomp. There it is...
I must be bad at portraying what it is I really am somehow. Because I've been called out on first impressions as being things that I am quite the opposite of. But first impressions in these situations have never been important. They're people at clubs or people at the store. Passing-by people who are mere coggs in the machine.
Just recently I've experienced the notion of more important characters calling me out in inaccurate ways, though. There was the company I worked for for 3 years kicking me to the curb because I wanted to take 5 days off...1 month from when I requested. Then, more recently, there was one of my closest friends a.k.a. one of my ex-boyfriends a.k.a. one of my California family who said that I'd turned into a bitch. He said that I think I'm cool now with my new job and my new car. That I talk down to him. That I think I'm smarter and older and, thus, more mature. And that, quite frankly, he never wanted to speak with me again. He's deleted me from his myspace Top 8. And this, however lame it DOES sound, is a slap in the face. Because I know he did it to be malicious. I know he did it to make me aware that he's angry.
Trevor went off on me at a club last Thursday. I took into account his cocktail in hand but left earlier than the others in a cab alone because I felt belittled.
He called me the next day and apologized. He said, "Yo, babe. Sorry about what happened last night. I was drunk...I don't remember what I said, but I know it wasn't pleasant. I remember you walking away pretty upset. Let's chat about it. Call me..."
I was at work. He text messaged me later: "U have to call me its important" so I did. He then proceeded to tell me about how big of a bitch I am and how I treat everyone like they're stupid. I have no idea where this was coming from. I assume it's some sort of rebuttal for me pulling away from him when he tried kissing me earlier. But it seems a bit extreme, doesn't it?
I KNOW I'm no better than anyone else. And I don't see why my newly acquired job would make me think otherwise. It's not as if I've turned celebrity or that I fell into a pot of cash. I'm an ASSISTANT for crying out loud. If my boss wakes up in the morning and wants salomi and a Tylonol I'M the girl who has to run to the market to get it for him. That's not glamorous! I don't SHOP at GUCCI, I drive to Rodeo to return HIS GUCCI. I'm aware of that, entirely. So how did this get twisted otherwise?
And it's not as if I've disappeared from the scene either. Our friends go out on Thursdays and on Sundays. I haven't missed an outing in months! To make even MORE of a point, it was Trev's birthday a few weeks ago and we all took him to dinner and to Buddha. We reserved a table at the club and everything. Tiny and I bought him a HUGE picture frame and created a collage of all of our friends in it. We're the only ones who got him a thing. And I'M the one who dreamt up the idea to have the promoter of the club to project his father's old concerts on the 9 foot wall behind our table since his Dad wasn't in town to celebrate with us.
I even got out of work early the night of his band's concert so I could go watch him play. I took tons of pictures and emailed them to him the next day.
And, despite all this, apparently I've changed and I'm a bitch.
People are complex, strange animals.
I know I've no reason to feel guilty about what I've written above. Because I know that Trev must have ulterior reasons for yelling at me and so he conjured up a quite creative reason to be upset.
I've asked around. Tiny says Trev's claims are preposterous. Casey suggests I never speak to him again. Michael tells me it's because Trev is insecure and jealous. Bridg says, "Yeah, he's been acting outstandingly childish lately."
All I know is that this, like the Lacy situation, was presented to me in such an abrupt fashion that I've no way to rationalize it.
I have a lot of faith in people who, perhaps, don't think of me in the ways I think of them.
...maybe that's what it is.
Just recently I've experienced the notion of more important characters calling me out in inaccurate ways, though. There was the company I worked for for 3 years kicking me to the curb because I wanted to take 5 days off...1 month from when I requested. Then, more recently, there was one of my closest friends a.k.a. one of my ex-boyfriends a.k.a. one of my California family who said that I'd turned into a bitch. He said that I think I'm cool now with my new job and my new car. That I talk down to him. That I think I'm smarter and older and, thus, more mature. And that, quite frankly, he never wanted to speak with me again. He's deleted me from his myspace Top 8. And this, however lame it DOES sound, is a slap in the face. Because I know he did it to be malicious. I know he did it to make me aware that he's angry.
Trevor went off on me at a club last Thursday. I took into account his cocktail in hand but left earlier than the others in a cab alone because I felt belittled.
He called me the next day and apologized. He said, "Yo, babe. Sorry about what happened last night. I was drunk...I don't remember what I said, but I know it wasn't pleasant. I remember you walking away pretty upset. Let's chat about it. Call me..."
I was at work. He text messaged me later: "U have to call me its important" so I did. He then proceeded to tell me about how big of a bitch I am and how I treat everyone like they're stupid. I have no idea where this was coming from. I assume it's some sort of rebuttal for me pulling away from him when he tried kissing me earlier. But it seems a bit extreme, doesn't it?
I KNOW I'm no better than anyone else. And I don't see why my newly acquired job would make me think otherwise. It's not as if I've turned celebrity or that I fell into a pot of cash. I'm an ASSISTANT for crying out loud. If my boss wakes up in the morning and wants salomi and a Tylonol I'M the girl who has to run to the market to get it for him. That's not glamorous! I don't SHOP at GUCCI, I drive to Rodeo to return HIS GUCCI. I'm aware of that, entirely. So how did this get twisted otherwise?
And it's not as if I've disappeared from the scene either. Our friends go out on Thursdays and on Sundays. I haven't missed an outing in months! To make even MORE of a point, it was Trev's birthday a few weeks ago and we all took him to dinner and to Buddha. We reserved a table at the club and everything. Tiny and I bought him a HUGE picture frame and created a collage of all of our friends in it. We're the only ones who got him a thing. And I'M the one who dreamt up the idea to have the promoter of the club to project his father's old concerts on the 9 foot wall behind our table since his Dad wasn't in town to celebrate with us.
I even got out of work early the night of his band's concert so I could go watch him play. I took tons of pictures and emailed them to him the next day.
And, despite all this, apparently I've changed and I'm a bitch.
People are complex, strange animals.
I know I've no reason to feel guilty about what I've written above. Because I know that Trev must have ulterior reasons for yelling at me and so he conjured up a quite creative reason to be upset.
I've asked around. Tiny says Trev's claims are preposterous. Casey suggests I never speak to him again. Michael tells me it's because Trev is insecure and jealous. Bridg says, "Yeah, he's been acting outstandingly childish lately."
All I know is that this, like the Lacy situation, was presented to me in such an abrupt fashion that I've no way to rationalize it.
I have a lot of faith in people who, perhaps, don't think of me in the ways I think of them.
...maybe that's what it is.