I REALLY love my son, but ...
My son seems to be out to get me lately. Potty training ... well, that's not a new problem. I switched him from cloth diapers to pull-ups in hopes that he would actually care and decide to be potty trained. Well, it hasn't worked. He goes on occasion, but not regularly. Mostly just when he feels like it. Certainly not enough to make it worth the money and trouble of buying pull-ups. Since he was growing out of the cloth diapers we had, returning to cloth would cost more money than we have at the moment. So I went out and bought some Pampers. When I got home, I told him that I was going to take away all his "big boy pants" (we were trying to bill the pull-ups that way in hopes of motivating him) and put him back in diapers until he was ready to be a big boy. I even went so far as to change him right there and then. He was upset for about two seconds. Further proof that he just is NOT ready to be potty trained. I am beginning to despair of ever getting him trained, but I can't afford to think about it. Ayanna wasn't trained till about a year after most of her friends were fully trained. Most of her little friends at church were trained by 2 or a little after. She was trained a month before her third birthday. So I honestly think, and fear, that it is going to take at least till his fourth birthday to potty train him. Hopefully he will be trained by Kindergarten. That's a legitimate fear with autistic kids. I need to find a happy medium between having faith and being unrealistic in my expectations. But at least this diaper thing will keep his father from bullying him about it too much. That is almost as hard for me as the fact that Lee isn't getting trained, watching his father so anxious about it. I don't know which is worse, him caring so much, or me being so apathetic about it. Both are probably survival techniques.
Thursday was very trying, though I can see the humor in it now. I woke Lee up, as usual, at 7:00 so that he could eat and be ready to take Ayanna to school around 7:30-7:45. She had already been up since 6:00. His response was to fuss at me. When I walked away he got up, closed the door, and went back to bed. So I opened the door again and told him he was to leave it open, get out of bed, and come eat. He responded by screaming at the top of his lungs. I gave him five minutes and then went in again, changed his bottom, and got him dressed. I also took the pillow out from under his head and put it at the head of his bed. At this point he is STILL screaming, he hasn't stopped since I re-opened his door. I go back to the other room to eat my breakfast serenaded by screaming boy. At 7:30 I went back in to put his shoes on him. He was STILL on the bed screaming at the top of his lungs. It honestly seemed that he hadn't even stopped for breath yet. And his reasons for screaming changed with every new thing I did. Now he is screaming that he doesn't want his shoes on. I tried to get him to stand up and he refused, so I carry him out to the living room and put his leash and harness on ... at least that way I can hold him by the waist strap on the harness and get him to walk. So his complaint changes. Now he is mad at me because his leash is on and he doesn't WANT to take Ayanna to school because he hasn't had breakfast yet. Never mind that I have been trying to get him to eat for a half hour by now. Halfway down the block he decides he is tired of being dragged and begins to walk but he is still screaming. Then things get worse.
I got to Jack in the Box on the corner and watched, almost in disbelief, as a cop drives through the intersection, stops, gets out of the car, and walks straight towards us. He tries to talk to Lee and Lee just screams back at him. So I mention that he has been screaming like that all morning, thinking it would get the man to go away. He doesn't. Instead he asks Lee if he would like a coloring book. By now I am getting anxious, partly from the screaming and partly because I have no clue what time it is and am afraid of Ayanna being late. So I told "Officer Nosy" that we didn't have time, that I had to get her to school and walked away. He got in his car and drove the other way. Lee was quieter, but still screaming off and on, when we got home and I felt he deserved a punishment for treating me so shabbily (there was no indication anything was wrong other than his attitude problem) so I put him in time out in his room, after giving him a dose of ibuprofen, just in case. After a few minutes, seeing that the problem was not going to be remedied by keeping him in his room, I put the kiddie table and his breakfast in the hallway, put up the baby gate, then let him out of his room. At 8:58 (yes, I remember the EXACT time) he finally decided to shut up and ask me politely to help him calm down then sat down at the table and ate his breakfast. He was screaming for two whole hours without a noticeable break. Luckily my wonderful hubby let me have the night off that night, but wo days later I am still reeling from the stress. In fact, I woke up with the worst migraine I have had in almost 20 years and I am convinced that it is because of the stress he put me through that day. Luckily I am actually able to see the absurdity of the situation now.
To make things harder, Ayanna is still complaining of bullying. I spoke with her teacher yesterday and found out that the same two boys are bullying the entire class, the teacher is at her wits end, and she has done absolutely everything she can to fix the problem. With no success. So I think that Monday I am going to go talk to the principal about it. I will make sure to tell him that I don't blame the teacher any, but something needs to be done. The mental health of 26 kids and one teacher depend on it. Hopefully he will be receptive and have some solutions. I am tired of constant complaints about what these two boys have done to my little girl. It gets really old.