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I have no motivation haha it's awesome, I hope it gets better by finals week. Last night I didn't go to the Green Fashion Show that Bethany was in (to be fair, neither did Amber or Adrian but I didn't even suggest it) because getting off the couch and walking across campus seemed like too much. I almost went to bed at midnight on a Friday because the only thing I wanted to do was read Daredevil comics and after I finished I wasn't sure what else to do with myself. I tried watching an episode of Once Upon a Time but it didn't hold my interest and I ended up scrolling tumblr on my phone at the same time, and I'm not sure if that was just me or if it was the show and its increasingly shoddy writing/characterization. I have a final paper due on Monday that I haven't worked on yet today and doubt that I will. I'm close to done so I keep telling myself I'll just do it tomorrow though I will have to work around fun events that are happening like pet-a-puppy and some de-stress event on the Monagan lawn. I keep being hungry and then having no motivation to actually get myself food, though I'm hungry now and I think I've decided to have chili and tortilla chips after this. I took one look at my online to-do list today and immediately switched to another tab. If my friends had things we were going to do together, I might have done more things today but like I don't know how to entertain myself right now. Earlier I read more comics, read some Cracked articles, and watched some old I'm a Marvel/I'm a DC videos, but now I'm doing the thing where I just endlessly scroll tumblr because I don't know what else to do. One of the big reasons I'm sad about having finished the Daredevil Netflix series is that it was something I pretty consistently wanted to do even when I didn't really want to do anything else. I do think it's really cool though how Daredevil comics explicitly address mental illness (especially Mark Waid and then also Frank Miller in the Born Again arc but like I'm so glad about Mark Waid kind of basing it on his experiences and the writers of that including a whole info thing at the end of one explaining post-partum mental illnesses, like that's so cool and informative).
I presented at the undergraduate research conference this morning. I woke up anxious and vaguely nauseous and was kind of in a rush as I left but it ended up being fine in terms of timing. My presentation was hilariously last-minute. I put the powerpoint together yesterday and mostly re-used slides from my capstone presentation, with some re-arranging and editing. I was the only one I saw who presented without notes/reading my paper and I think it went okay. I might have repeated myself but I got through it and people seemed engaged by asking questions and two professors complimented me at the end (though I feel like it might have just been their job). It was like at my capstone presentation where I kind of felt detached from myself as I was presenting and then afterward I was like "welp that just happened, I sure did go up there and say some words and show some slides". I couldn't really pay attention to the other presentations and I left before the last one, after a dense presentation on "neoliberalism and the model minority" which the faculty all found super interesting. For some reason there were a bunch of people in the UC, around campus, going to sports events and it threw me off, I felt pretty zoned out until I got home and took a few minutes trying to ground myself. And right now the whole experience seems so far-off that I can hardly believe it was just earlier today.
I presented at the undergraduate research conference this morning. I woke up anxious and vaguely nauseous and was kind of in a rush as I left but it ended up being fine in terms of timing. My presentation was hilariously last-minute. I put the powerpoint together yesterday and mostly re-used slides from my capstone presentation, with some re-arranging and editing. I was the only one I saw who presented without notes/reading my paper and I think it went okay. I might have repeated myself but I got through it and people seemed engaged by asking questions and two professors complimented me at the end (though I feel like it might have just been their job). It was like at my capstone presentation where I kind of felt detached from myself as I was presenting and then afterward I was like "welp that just happened, I sure did go up there and say some words and show some slides". I couldn't really pay attention to the other presentations and I left before the last one, after a dense presentation on "neoliberalism and the model minority" which the faculty all found super interesting. For some reason there were a bunch of people in the UC, around campus, going to sports events and it threw me off, I felt pretty zoned out until I got home and took a few minutes trying to ground myself. And right now the whole experience seems so far-off that I can hardly believe it was just earlier today.