(no subject)
I'm scared about the future. I'm worried that if I get into Aspire it'll be too much work and like I'd probably be able to handle it but I probably wouldn't be in a great place emotionally. I'm scared about what if I don't like teaching as much as I thought I would or it's just too stressful (ex: criticism, kids being mean). I'm worried if I don't get into Aspire I'll have trouble finding a job. I don't know what's going to happen with my friends. I just want to know where I will be next year and what I'll be doing.
I feel guilty about graduating. I'm scared because school is like the one thing I know how to do really well. I feel sad because I don't want to leave my friends behind.
I feel like I didn't help much/seem like I cared enough when I was talking to Meghan about her future. I'm kind of stressed secondhand about her future because I just want her to be happy. I feel like I didn't seem interested enough when Chain was talking about what happened at the panel.
I don't know how I feel about Adrian. I feel like he's kind of withdrawn from the friend group and I don't know why- did he want to? Do we all just not measure up to Chain? Did we (or I or anyone else) do something to bother him??
I do not feel guilty about skipping on DA and the panel thing tonight because I was tired and I got my homework done earlyish and I maybe needed a break from so much social interaction after the weekend. I do feel guilty that I didn't paint or maybe watch more Parks and Rec because I could have if I wanted to.
I hope I didn't come across badly during the phone interview process, but it seemed to go okay so I probably wasn't overstepping my bounds. I can't tell if this is the start-of-a-new-semester high wearing off, or if that was genuinely things being better, or if I just didn't sleep enough last night and that's why I feel kind of weird today.
I'm kind of stressed about my schedule because it seems like it's going to be so busy but I haven't started work yet and I like having free time but also I want money and I kind of just want it to start so I can get started on figuring out how to manage my time this semester. I have no idea what's going on with group, but that's another thing I'll probably at some point have to factor into my schedule, along with Drag Show Committee. Idk if I'm even going to go to DA because I already have many club commitments and I'm not sure it'd be worth it anyway. Idk how I feel about counseling because right now at this moment I've been doing okay and idk what to talk about (except being scared about the future) and I don't really want to go back to my previous therapist (because of all the life advice) but I would feel rude if I didn't.
It's so weird because I feel adrift but not like lost-at-sea, like I can see the land in the distance but I'm not there yet so all I have is anticipation and a vague sense of direction. I just want a little less uncertainty on my plans for next year and my schedule for this year.
I feel guilty about graduating. I'm scared because school is like the one thing I know how to do really well. I feel sad because I don't want to leave my friends behind.
I feel like I didn't help much/seem like I cared enough when I was talking to Meghan about her future. I'm kind of stressed secondhand about her future because I just want her to be happy. I feel like I didn't seem interested enough when Chain was talking about what happened at the panel.
I don't know how I feel about Adrian. I feel like he's kind of withdrawn from the friend group and I don't know why- did he want to? Do we all just not measure up to Chain? Did we (or I or anyone else) do something to bother him??
I do not feel guilty about skipping on DA and the panel thing tonight because I was tired and I got my homework done earlyish and I maybe needed a break from so much social interaction after the weekend. I do feel guilty that I didn't paint or maybe watch more Parks and Rec because I could have if I wanted to.
I hope I didn't come across badly during the phone interview process, but it seemed to go okay so I probably wasn't overstepping my bounds. I can't tell if this is the start-of-a-new-semester high wearing off, or if that was genuinely things being better, or if I just didn't sleep enough last night and that's why I feel kind of weird today.
I'm kind of stressed about my schedule because it seems like it's going to be so busy but I haven't started work yet and I like having free time but also I want money and I kind of just want it to start so I can get started on figuring out how to manage my time this semester. I have no idea what's going on with group, but that's another thing I'll probably at some point have to factor into my schedule, along with Drag Show Committee. Idk if I'm even going to go to DA because I already have many club commitments and I'm not sure it'd be worth it anyway. Idk how I feel about counseling because right now at this moment I've been doing okay and idk what to talk about (except being scared about the future) and I don't really want to go back to my previous therapist (because of all the life advice) but I would feel rude if I didn't.
It's so weird because I feel adrift but not like lost-at-sea, like I can see the land in the distance but I'm not there yet so all I have is anticipation and a vague sense of direction. I just want a little less uncertainty on my plans for next year and my schedule for this year.