What is the name of this wonderful cello ensemble? And do they have music on YouTube?
Do I assume correctly you still live with your father? May I suggest moving out?
It is entierly reasonable and appropriate for you to listen to music. It is equally reasonable -- considerate, even -- for you to wear headphones to do your listening. (Have you discussed with him your using external speakers instead of headphones? I don't think he'd *like* that solution, but it'd make him much more aware of your difficulty in hearing him when your music is on, because it would then be more difficult for *him* to hear himself when your music is on.)
It's also reasonable for him to speak to you, and to want an acknowledgement that he has spoken. If you didn't hear him, it's reasonable for you not to give one, and reasonable for him to take further action to get one -- such as, perhaps, tapping you on the shoulder to get your attention. Since the two of you have identified this as an ongoing issue, a solution such as attaching a brilliantly-colored piece of card stock to your headphones so that it's immediately and glaringly obvious that you're wearing them might work to let him know that you're not *going* to hear him.
For him to get angry *with you* because you didn't hear him is ridiculous. For him to get angry is fine -- he wanted something and didn't get it, to which anger is a reasonable response -- but to direct it *at you* is an imposition to which you have not consented. His not noticing your headphones is *his* problem, not yours; problem ownership is a vitally important concept. If you do hang a sign on them as I suggest above, this is you graciously helping him with *his* problem.
Am I addressing the issue you'd intended to bring up?
It's called 2cellos, and they tackle more mainstream songs with a traditionally classical intrument which thrills me deeply!
**EDIT** I apologise, I forgot to answer the rest of your inquiry! Yes they DO have music on Youtube!
Yes, I do live with my father, but I don't think I can move out. I have no job, no drivers license. No real independance, and no confidence that I could look after myself at this time.
No I haven't brought up listening on speakers, but when I've tried that in the past I've found it makes me very nervous and agitated when someone turns my music off in the middle of a song or changes it.
The problem is not that he doesn't see the headphones. they're not the earbud kind, they're big and highly visible. I'm perfectly willing to respond if he gets my attention, but he seems to be expecting me to always have my attention on him when he's in the general vesinity, which I find taxing.
Thank you for the suggestions! Yes, you have adressed what is bothering me.
Do I assume correctly you still live with your father? May I suggest moving out?
It is entierly reasonable and appropriate for you to listen to music. It is equally reasonable -- considerate, even -- for you to wear headphones to do your listening. (Have you discussed with him your using external speakers instead of headphones? I don't think he'd *like* that solution, but it'd make him much more aware of your difficulty in hearing him when your music is on, because it would then be more difficult for *him* to hear himself when your music is on.)
It's also reasonable for him to speak to you, and to want an acknowledgement that he has spoken. If you didn't hear him, it's reasonable for you not to give one, and reasonable for him to take further action to get one -- such as, perhaps, tapping you on the shoulder to get your attention. Since the two of you have identified this as an ongoing issue, a solution such as attaching a brilliantly-colored piece of card stock to your headphones so that it's immediately and glaringly obvious that you're wearing them might work to let him know that you're not *going* to hear him.
For him to get angry *with you* because you didn't hear him is ridiculous. For him to get angry is fine -- he wanted something and didn't get it, to which anger is a reasonable response -- but to direct it *at you* is an imposition to which you have not consented. His not noticing your headphones is *his* problem, not yours; problem ownership is a vitally important concept. If you do hang a sign on them as I suggest above, this is you graciously helping him with *his* problem.
Am I addressing the issue you'd intended to bring up?
best,
Joel
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**EDIT** I apologise, I forgot to answer the rest of your inquiry! Yes they DO have music on Youtube!
Yes, I do live with my father, but I don't think I can move out. I have no job, no drivers license. No real independance, and no confidence that I could look after myself at this time.
No I haven't brought up listening on speakers, but when I've tried that in the past I've found it makes me very nervous and agitated when someone turns my music off in the middle of a song or changes it.
The problem is not that he doesn't see the headphones. they're not the earbud kind, they're big and highly visible. I'm perfectly willing to respond if he gets my attention, but he seems to be expecting me to always have my attention on him when he's in the general vesinity, which I find taxing.
Thank you for the suggestions! Yes, you have adressed what is bothering me.
Reply
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