People'd out
I've been seeing people, mostly the same people, almost every weekend for at least the past month. Do you ever get that feeling of being overwhelmed with people? I wonder if there's a word to describe this? I always think of it as "the opposite of loneliness".
You know how if you've been alone for a long time, you feel really terrible and have this longing to go out and meet somebody, and spend time with people to feel good? At least, I assume that's what it's like, from watching other people. I think I used to get lonely as a teenager, but as a small child and as an adult, I don't think I've ever been truly lonely. I enjoy being alone. So what I get is the opposite of that loneliness. If I've been around people for a long time (usually the same people), I feel awful and like I'm losing my mind, so I have a strong urge to get away from everyone and do something on my own to feel good.
And it's not just for a moment. I don't just need an hour of quiet time. I need at least a few weeks--a month is better. Several months, if I've been dragged to a ton of social outings. Although usually I'm not "dragged" anywhere unless it's family.
I wish I knew a better way to describe this to others. Every time I envision telling these things to someone, I hear them in my mind talking about it like it's "a problem" when it's not a problem, it's just how I am. Or I'll hear them tell me I'm selfish for wanting to do what I want to do, when it's not just about wanting to do anything, it's about being The Opposite of Lonely, it's about CRAVING rather than "wanting".
Most people seem to like viewing aloofness and solitude as some kind of problem with people, some kind of antisocial disorder. But it's not something that can be worked through, cured, or fixed. It wasn't caused by some trauma. It's just how I am. People (mostly family members and strangers) are really boring and annoying, and being on my own is entertaining. If I'm with friends, at least we have interests in common, but I've even had to take breaks from friends after I got sick of seeing them too often.
I'm comfortable being this way; the only hard part is trying to make others understand that there isn't anything "wrong". I've literally never met a single person who understood. What are your thoughts?
You know how if you've been alone for a long time, you feel really terrible and have this longing to go out and meet somebody, and spend time with people to feel good? At least, I assume that's what it's like, from watching other people. I think I used to get lonely as a teenager, but as a small child and as an adult, I don't think I've ever been truly lonely. I enjoy being alone. So what I get is the opposite of that loneliness. If I've been around people for a long time (usually the same people), I feel awful and like I'm losing my mind, so I have a strong urge to get away from everyone and do something on my own to feel good.
And it's not just for a moment. I don't just need an hour of quiet time. I need at least a few weeks--a month is better. Several months, if I've been dragged to a ton of social outings. Although usually I'm not "dragged" anywhere unless it's family.
I wish I knew a better way to describe this to others. Every time I envision telling these things to someone, I hear them in my mind talking about it like it's "a problem" when it's not a problem, it's just how I am. Or I'll hear them tell me I'm selfish for wanting to do what I want to do, when it's not just about wanting to do anything, it's about being The Opposite of Lonely, it's about CRAVING rather than "wanting".
Most people seem to like viewing aloofness and solitude as some kind of problem with people, some kind of antisocial disorder. But it's not something that can be worked through, cured, or fixed. It wasn't caused by some trauma. It's just how I am. People (mostly family members and strangers) are really boring and annoying, and being on my own is entertaining. If I'm with friends, at least we have interests in common, but I've even had to take breaks from friends after I got sick of seeing them too often.
I'm comfortable being this way; the only hard part is trying to make others understand that there isn't anything "wrong". I've literally never met a single person who understood. What are your thoughts?