toxic girl
I remember my first day of primary school rather vividly even now after all these years....
I felt uncomfortable in my uniform due to the sensitivity my skins always had,i felt happy as my chidlish long hair
had been done up with bows and I had a feeling that somehow These games I played with people to impress were as
importart as a debut on broadway.Some other kids cried as if they'd experianced terrible hardship,others were those weird folk that seem to attract social situtations to them without
any difficulty and some were angry and would annoy the girls in primary one to vent it.I felt indifference at leaving the quiet slow pace of a toddlers life but I was'nt that interested in school either.
English was what changed my opinion on school and become the one subject I could add
and solve the problems of my life within.My brother started just as I entered primary five.He was bullied and as quick as a blink of the eye we found ourselves at st marks were my brother got tricked
and made a fool of and were I was called a very un-emotional demanding child for trying to stop a bully who
the teachers believed over myself.You can be a prophet on earth and still fail if no one follows you and sadly its usually those who spread hate and nastiness that have the most followers...
After a while we moved again were I was bullied mercilessly for being chubby.tall and plainevermind weird with people....
my bullies name was calum and he looked like a fish...The irony of this seems to have been lost on him.i was moved in my last year of primary to the other p7 class were the whole class hated my including the teacher(who I happen to live next to now...:/ go figure...)
and so it was my parents were determined high school would be different for me.They choose John ogilvie on the advice of one of my mums friends.First year of HS is basically the end of my childhood as its were all my shite began.I got verbally abused,started exercising then snapped and basically didnt eat.
You'd think this would seem bad to people but I finally achieved friends after losing my real self.Its around that time that my brother was diagnosed with aspergers.We both had dyspraxia but as I'd just read "the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime" I found it eery and upsetting to find my brother had the condition.
maybe If I'd payed attention I'd have realised I had always had it as well...
After experiances in two mental hospitals I returned to school and eventually lost my friends due to their lack of understanding and my stupidity.
I kinda forgot what it was to have a normal conversation.Last year I found solace during the year
of standard grade by hiding in classrooms with the lights off.The hum of the central heating would make
it feel as rhythmic and calm as the slow breathing of a mother heard by a baby in the womb.
college is a word of more than seven letters to me...It symbolised freedom,normality and a last chance.The day I began I saw no chance of
change but I love my classes so far,have found friends I just want to reach out and hug
(people such as rachel,alan,sean and various other folk) and I've found that in the right enviroment theres nothing wrong with being different.I'm getting my hair cut tommorow....its a bit like cutting off the negativity I've carried for so long.
when you've been so wrapped up in yourself and your flaws it can be hard to hold on to joy
,but i'm not going to let happiness out of my sight.I'm going to stop it from running off again if I have to do anything.
I felt uncomfortable in my uniform due to the sensitivity my skins always had,i felt happy as my chidlish long hair
had been done up with bows and I had a feeling that somehow These games I played with people to impress were as
importart as a debut on broadway.Some other kids cried as if they'd experianced terrible hardship,others were those weird folk that seem to attract social situtations to them without
any difficulty and some were angry and would annoy the girls in primary one to vent it.I felt indifference at leaving the quiet slow pace of a toddlers life but I was'nt that interested in school either.
English was what changed my opinion on school and become the one subject I could add
and solve the problems of my life within.My brother started just as I entered primary five.He was bullied and as quick as a blink of the eye we found ourselves at st marks were my brother got tricked
and made a fool of and were I was called a very un-emotional demanding child for trying to stop a bully who
the teachers believed over myself.You can be a prophet on earth and still fail if no one follows you and sadly its usually those who spread hate and nastiness that have the most followers...
After a while we moved again were I was bullied mercilessly for being chubby.tall and plainevermind weird with people....
my bullies name was calum and he looked like a fish...The irony of this seems to have been lost on him.i was moved in my last year of primary to the other p7 class were the whole class hated my including the teacher(who I happen to live next to now...:/ go figure...)
and so it was my parents were determined high school would be different for me.They choose John ogilvie on the advice of one of my mums friends.First year of HS is basically the end of my childhood as its were all my shite began.I got verbally abused,started exercising then snapped and basically didnt eat.
You'd think this would seem bad to people but I finally achieved friends after losing my real self.Its around that time that my brother was diagnosed with aspergers.We both had dyspraxia but as I'd just read "the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime" I found it eery and upsetting to find my brother had the condition.
maybe If I'd payed attention I'd have realised I had always had it as well...
After experiances in two mental hospitals I returned to school and eventually lost my friends due to their lack of understanding and my stupidity.
I kinda forgot what it was to have a normal conversation.Last year I found solace during the year
of standard grade by hiding in classrooms with the lights off.The hum of the central heating would make
it feel as rhythmic and calm as the slow breathing of a mother heard by a baby in the womb.
college is a word of more than seven letters to me...It symbolised freedom,normality and a last chance.The day I began I saw no chance of
change but I love my classes so far,have found friends I just want to reach out and hug
(people such as rachel,alan,sean and various other folk) and I've found that in the right enviroment theres nothing wrong with being different.I'm getting my hair cut tommorow....its a bit like cutting off the negativity I've carried for so long.
when you've been so wrapped up in yourself and your flaws it can be hard to hold on to joy
,but i'm not going to let happiness out of my sight.I'm going to stop it from running off again if I have to do anything.