Hi, I've been lurking for some time.

[fueschgast]

First: categories. I like categories, mostly. Because if you have categories you can just say its name and don't have to waste time and energy trying to explain things. And categories give you a place. It's nice to be part of something, but I tend to worry if I really belong in some categories. If I'm doing it right and stuff

Comments

[aslanscountry]

For me it was an Aspie/developmental delay thing, I think. The idea of kissing really grossed me out, as did the idea of having sex to a lesser degree. I understood that I was gay because I knew I wanted some kind of closeness with a girl, but I really just wished I could hold hands with someone and have her be my girlfriend without having to do anything else.

When I was eighteen I got one of the first really conventional crushes I ever had on anyone--sweaty palms, short of breath, etc. After a while, I knew I really wanted to be close to her, including all the stuff that I had previously known was expected but hadn't really wanted to do. A few times since then I have liked people so much that I've wanted to kiss them/etc.; how much I like them kind of transubstantiates the grossness, or maybe I just don't find it gross anymore at all.

So--if you keep being the way you are, you would be called heteromantic. (When I went to wikipedia to find this out, I discovered that Edward Gorey was asexual. Awesome!) And it's perfectly likely that you are really asexual. I don't know if anyone has ever had the experience I did, of sexual awakening just being really delayed, but thought I should share because it could be a possibility depending on how old you are.

[fueschgast]

Sorry that I'm only replying now. Sometimes it takes me some time to get in the mood talk about stuff.

Well, I've always been behind a bit, but not that much. I'm 25, so I guess if it were developmental delay, the development would have happened by now.

Thank you for mentioning Wikipedia! I don't know when that was, but I've already read the article about asexuality. I haven't found it that helpful then. But you mentioned it and I went back to it and found the AVEN site that is linked there. This site answered my questions and I have really found my category now. :o)