Helping a friend -- new autism blog
I have a friend who doesn't have much of an online presence (she lurks a lot but isn't a heavy commenter) and wanted to start an autism blog. I suggested she start it on Disaboom, since it's a good place for autism-related blogs. I also promised to help her promote her posts until she gets more established as a blogger.
Her first post is about ( Read more... )
Her first post is about ( Read more... )
The only thing I question is, "Ask them." Most of the parents I know just will not get this for a very good reason. So many of us who are Autistic either can't or won't tell people when they have needs, or don't understand that they should ask for things, (due to problems with theory of mind).
Not kidding here. I have two sons with Autism. My oldest is just starting to communicate anything other than basic needs and he's almost 30. Some things don't come until much later and the law won't offer teaching after 22, and that is just criminal. We do not stop learning at a certain age, and some people have such overwhelming sensory problems that learning to control their feelings and reactions takes years longer, and so they need several more years to learn some basic communication skills.
My second son is better and can actually speak a little, occasionally, as well as write - though he did also come into this in late childhood despite EI - and he will tell me when he wants or needs something, thankfully... but I do know some very high functioning people who can't or won't communicate to tell others what they need.
I have a friend with severe TOM issues and it just never occurs to her that people don't know what she wants without her saying something, and I have to keep reminding her to tell when she has needs or ask for things when this comes up during chats. She can be sitting there bleeding and not think to tell anyone to help her and she can't do some things for herself, yet, due to physical problems and severe ADD. She thinks if she knows something that everyone else does, too, and only if she wonders while talking to me why no has said something about something they can't see or know about, will I find out - and I keep reminding her that things don't work that way. I have no idea how to teach this to her in a better way, other than to keep checking and learning to ask the right questions when we do chat, just to make sure she is ok and she is getting her needs met. And she's a brilliant scientist, too... this has nothing to do with her intellect - but she has these problems. Some do, some don't.
Thing is, most of the parents in my group have children who do not communicate well. A few use PECS. A few, like my oldest son, will sign for minimal needs like food or going out or help with clothing or bathing, and nothing else, no matter how hard you try to communicate those signs and teach them.
I would like to add, to focus on communicating, from both sides. Some parents give up too early, or don't explore all the different alternatives, or don't know what is out there.
Some with Autism really do need to work on learning why they need to tell others how they feel and what they need and want.
I sure do wish that people would walk against the Judge Reinhold center. I hate that place with such passion!
Again, well done. (Sorry about the personal soapbox thing).
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It's just that some don't seem to get that we are not all able to do some things as well as others. It's hard to explain sometimes... and then I get so wordy about it.
That was such a great blog post and says just about everything I feel strongly about. I really do want to link to it.
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