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teamnoir March 2 2009, 16:51:45 UTC
I don't think it's as simple as support vs activism.

I am autistic. I believe that means I have challenges which are different from NT's. I am not disabled. I live, I work, I pay rent, I make friends, etc. It would be very helpful if I had some knowledgeable support in some areas and/or it would have been very helpful if I'd had some clues and training as a child. However, I didn't and I don't and I'm not willing to adopt the stigma in order to ask for what measly support is available for adults from the government.

Instead, I chose to describe myself as able because that frame of reference is the one which leads me towards being the most capable, (in my opinion), as well as the one which leads me towards the happier life, a life in which I am in control of more of my own destiny.

In my opinion, most of us simply chose whether we are disabled or abled. It's nothing more than an arbitrary belief about ourselves. Yes, some of us have a more clearly supportable claim towards disability if we seek it. But ultimately, disability/ability is little more than a self chosen belief about ourselves.

Medicine isn't particularly relevant here. Most of us are adults. And as adults, a medical diagnosis is only relevant for either self validation or as support towards seeking legal support for accommodations. If we don't seek either, then there's not much benefit, (and some fair degree of risk), in seeking a diagnosis. More, medical diagnoses simply classify pathologies. Many of us simply aren't pathological. We're autistic, but not pathological and the only people the medical community cares to diagnose are pathological people who also happen to be autistic.

That's important to remember. The medical community only diagnoses people who are pathological. If you aren't pathological, then there's no reason for a diagnosis. A lack of proof doesn't prove a lack. The absence of a diagnosis doesn't prove that someone isn't autistic - only that they aren't pathological.

You asked for support, so here's my support. I question whether thinking of yourself as disabled is really the most constructive and supportive personal belief you could carry. From my perspective, thinking of one's self as disabled has a lot of negative connotation, a good deal of fatalism, and a lot of ducking responsibility involved. I'm sure you have plenty of "evidence" for thinking of yourself as disabled as I have plenty of "evidence" of thinking of myself as abled. A fine argument could also be made that I'm disabled - there are certainly areas of my life in which I don't succeed in the way that most people succeed and there are areas in which I've devoted significant time and effort. Had those areas been any other topic, I'd be an expert by now, but I'm not. Certain actions or goals seem so far beyond my understanding or ability that either the time it would take me to learn to do them seems extreme, (more than a human lifetime), although I still believe that I'm capable of anything to which I set my mind.

So I'll ask you, by way of support, in what way does thinking of yourself as disabled help you? In what way does it lead you towards more control over your life, more competence, or more ability? In what way does thinking of yourself in that way serve you?

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old_cutter_john March 2 2009, 17:47:22 UTC
I should add, for the benefit of whoever might read through all this, that I agree with what you say about labeling oneself as disabled being a choice - probably for the same reason that you yourself believe it, given what I remember of the account you've given of yourself to this community.

I knew nothing of autism until I was in my fifties. By that time, I'd done all kinds of things that are impossible for autistics (when I look back, I'm often horrified at how I did some of those things, but the fact remains that I did them). I had an impressive history and I was in the habit of viewing myself as abled, so I wasn't going to change. At the same time, I recognize that it would be easy to attribute most of my mistakes to a disability. Maybe I do, but in a limited sort of way that doesn't increase the likelihood of making more mistakes in the future. It's more like, I know that if I weren't autistic, I would have learned some lessons with one experiential go-round less. It might be argued that I'm into the disability thing to a degree, because since becoming aware of autism, I've become more confident in taking care of my own comfort - for example, I feel justified in making choices based on my aversion to crowds - but no one should have to justify that sort of thing anyway, regardless of ability or disability.

There are, of course, people who stand to gain by claiming disability. Accommodations at school, most often. Sometimes a government pension. There are a couple of people in this community who are getting workplace accommodations that matter to them. And meager though government assistance may be, there are always going to be a few of us whose circumstances are precisely such that that meager bit of assistance will make a big difference. I'm disinclined to argue with their claims.

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teamnoir March 2 2009, 18:54:35 UTC
Yes, my experience is similar, although I learned about autism in my 40's, (just a few years ago, really).

I recognize that there are people for whom the label of disability is enabling. I didn't mean to discount them entirely. For all I know the OP may be one of them. However, I suspect that for the majority of us on this forum, the choice is simply one of arbitrary belief.

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kisekileia March 3 2009, 22:22:31 UTC
I'm definitely one of those people for whom the label of disability is enabling. If I didn't have that label, I would blame myself for a lot of awful things in my life that aren't my fault at all.

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teamnoir March 4 2009, 01:24:58 UTC
Why do you need to think of yourself as disabled in order to give yourself that break?

I think I recognize what you mean, sort of... Since I've started identifying as aspie, I've given myself a lot more patience with some things than I did in the past. (Eg, permission to skip parties entirely, or to leave early, without necessarily thinking of myself as "failing" or as insufficiently motivated or lazy.) However, I don't need to think of myself as disabled in order to grant myself that patience. I simply recognize that I'm different from most people, that my difference leads to some advantages and some disadvantages, and that there's a community of people who recognize that some of these things are difficult.

Identifying myself as aspie led to recognizing that I was different in these particular ways, (rather than just lazy, for instance).

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xlormplover March 2 2009, 20:39:28 UTC
This is kind of weird, but I think of AS/autism as a disability, which I have. But I don't think of myself as disabled. I agree with the statement that I am capable of anything to which I set my mind. However, accomplishing certain things I set my mind to are going to be harder for me than for a "typical" person. I guess the reason I stick by the disability label is that if a person does not have the gumption to work harder to accomplish things than they may not accomplish them and may end up living a life of a disabled person. So I think that accepting AS as a disability does not negate the fact that I can still be successful. But I guess for me it reminds me that certain things are going to be harder.

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teamnoir March 4 2009, 18:37:00 UTC
Thank you.

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