Possibility of Asperger's in the family - worth bringing up?
I apologize if this is not welcome here, but I want to ask a question regarding my brother...
As I've said on this community several times, I have a very close friend with Asperger's. I've always related to him more than seemed normal (given that I don't have it myself) in some ways I can't relate to regular people. As of late I've noticed that some signs of Asperger's seem to also run in my family. The more I think and read about it, the more I think it's possible that both my father and my little brother have it.
I brought this up to my father yesterday, and he told me that I was not the first person to mention it about my brother. Apparently the possibility of it was brought up before when he was having issues with kids at school. Long story short, despite the school believing it was a strong possibility that my brother has Aspergers, my mom decided that she doesn't believe he has it, and she wouldn't take him in for a diagnosis.
When my mom heard about my conversation with my dad yesterday, she got very upset at me for even suggesting it and told me not to diagnose people. I pointed out all the signs and that only made her angrier.
I don't think that my mom's refusal to accept the possibility is reason for my brother to live in ignorance if he, in fact, does have Asperger's.
Signs of it in the family:
Father:
Does not realize when he is unintentionally insulting people to this day
Had very few friendships when he was young
Had delayed and poor speech when he was young
Had extreme perseverations (namely: chemistry and mathematics)
Extremely intelligent
Awkward - didn't really follow certain social things (i.e. poor hygiene through high school without realizing how that would affect things socially)
Confused by emotions
Banged his head when he was little (and other repetitive self-hurt sorts of things)
Brother:
Doesn't know how to display his emotions (tantrums, etc)
Never had close friends outside of the family (he now has a couple casual acquaintances at school, but that's it)
Bullied throughout school
Can't read faces
Trouble focusing
Dislike of being touched when he was younger (I don't know how he is with this now)
Head banging
Doesn't usually make eye contact
Awkward facial expressions
I know I don't have it, but my tendencies are primarily a complete lack of understanding of my emotions [most of the time] and an insistence on being overly logical and analytical. I analyze everything.
At any rate - my brother is 13 (almost 14 now) and in the 8th grade. First - do you think the things I pointed out are significant enough to mention it to him at some point? Secondly - how old do you think he should be when I bring it up? I'm afraid he's not mature enough now (although, to be fair, we don't get to talk on our own very much), and I don't want to make anything worse. Did any of you have negative experiences in finding out about AS, or were they mostly positive? What could I do to make the experience positive for him if he actually does have this?
Thank you so much for any replies. :)
As I've said on this community several times, I have a very close friend with Asperger's. I've always related to him more than seemed normal (given that I don't have it myself) in some ways I can't relate to regular people. As of late I've noticed that some signs of Asperger's seem to also run in my family. The more I think and read about it, the more I think it's possible that both my father and my little brother have it.
I brought this up to my father yesterday, and he told me that I was not the first person to mention it about my brother. Apparently the possibility of it was brought up before when he was having issues with kids at school. Long story short, despite the school believing it was a strong possibility that my brother has Aspergers, my mom decided that she doesn't believe he has it, and she wouldn't take him in for a diagnosis.
When my mom heard about my conversation with my dad yesterday, she got very upset at me for even suggesting it and told me not to diagnose people. I pointed out all the signs and that only made her angrier.
I don't think that my mom's refusal to accept the possibility is reason for my brother to live in ignorance if he, in fact, does have Asperger's.
Signs of it in the family:
Father:
Does not realize when he is unintentionally insulting people to this day
Had very few friendships when he was young
Had delayed and poor speech when he was young
Had extreme perseverations (namely: chemistry and mathematics)
Extremely intelligent
Awkward - didn't really follow certain social things (i.e. poor hygiene through high school without realizing how that would affect things socially)
Confused by emotions
Banged his head when he was little (and other repetitive self-hurt sorts of things)
Brother:
Doesn't know how to display his emotions (tantrums, etc)
Never had close friends outside of the family (he now has a couple casual acquaintances at school, but that's it)
Bullied throughout school
Can't read faces
Trouble focusing
Dislike of being touched when he was younger (I don't know how he is with this now)
Head banging
Doesn't usually make eye contact
Awkward facial expressions
I know I don't have it, but my tendencies are primarily a complete lack of understanding of my emotions [most of the time] and an insistence on being overly logical and analytical. I analyze everything.
At any rate - my brother is 13 (almost 14 now) and in the 8th grade. First - do you think the things I pointed out are significant enough to mention it to him at some point? Secondly - how old do you think he should be when I bring it up? I'm afraid he's not mature enough now (although, to be fair, we don't get to talk on our own very much), and I don't want to make anything worse. Did any of you have negative experiences in finding out about AS, or were they mostly positive? What could I do to make the experience positive for him if he actually does have this?
Thank you so much for any replies. :)