General Support Log: Week 3
General Support Log
v. 1, week 3
Martha reminds us all: CONDOMS!
Monitoring:
Captain Jack Harkness (ask_captainjack)
Senior Agent PC Gwen Cooper and Executive Husband Rhys Williams (gwen_e_cooper, therant_willask)
Junior Senior Agent Ianto Jones (ask_aboutcoffee)
Senior Junior Agent Doctor Martha Jones (ask_arealdoctor)
Senior Temporary Agent Captain John Hart (oh_doask)
Time Agency liaison "T" (timeagency)
Torchwood Auxiliary PC Andy Davidson (dontask_pcandy)
Torchwood Temporary Tenant The Doctor (askfor_bananas)
HRH Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor (inquireof_liz)
Pet Myfanwy (ask_myfanwy)
PSA: Some of our civilians think it's funny to roleplay as us. It's NOT FUNNY. It's OTT.
You know what else is not funny? DESTROYING MY CHILDHOOD.
Alien Activity: Attempting to repair the TARDIS brake lines, the Doctor did run into some trouble with evil clothing, but survived. The Doctor discovered that Jack is a TARDIS babymommy. So...that went well. He also got a bit overexcited and may have burst into song during our film night. He bounced. A lot. We are also extremely suspicious of this Sam Brown character, he seems to know us too well.
Staff: Jack was in Dubai, but I would like it noted that I did not mope. We had a daquiries and terrible cinema night! Then Jack brought us all gifts, even Max! He did pull a prank on Martha with hers, though. Later he re-enacted Gwen's Torchwood morning routine (NB scroll down for "magic fridge" discussion, cross-reference under...supplies? Spoilers? I don't even know, god help me.) and wrote some Harry Potter fanfiction.
Martha is settling in and learning our coping mechanisms. Poor woman. Also informed me that she is the Dark Lady of the Sonnets! But it's still not my fault that Hart took the wrong pills. He wasn't supposed to take the pills at all! He can type with his tongue, though, which I guess is good to know? Gwen and Rhys, meanwhile, are on a health kick.
Allied Organisations: Poor Andy got stuck managing a horrible traffic jam that Torchwood is not officially responsible for but Hart might be. On the up side, I think romance is in the air! ( Or is it?) One of our civilians made an icon out of my face. Rhys came through for us in a big way during the Birthday Preparations (see below). T investigated 21st Century Couture.
Security: Gwen has changed her posthumous disposition request to include time lock knickers. We reworked our emergency procedures again. Jack still thinks he can win torch_wood over, but I'm skeptical.
Note to self: Internet still needs to be set on fire.
Supplies: Must restock Jack's liquor stores after Hart and I demolished them while he was in Dubai. Still working on decals for the Strike Bike. We should all remember how important font styles are in both dating and branding. And to pay our Internet Taxes, including the recently-passed Fanfictions Tax (SPN only). Max was very naughy and got hold of Hart's pterodactyl puppet, but I managed to wrestle it away from both of them for a proper cleaning.
THE QUEEN'S BIRTHDAY: HRH contacted me the day before her birthday and pointed out that it was the day before her birthday, and asked when she should arrive. I may have... overreacted but we got her here safely in the end. I think it went down very well, though. The Doctor made a playlist (sorry I missed your email about that, Doctor!) and gave her a pirate flag. We all looked nice and even Max got dressed up for the occasion. Hart was his usual charming self. We met, we drank, we ate fairy cakes, there were merry pranks. The photos came out nicely and Martha kindly took the bunting out to Flat Holm.
Community Outreach: With Jack in Dubai for the weekend, making only infrequent contact, the agents and allies of Torchwood banded together to shoot your advice in, if not the face, at least the kneecaps. I advised one of Jack's past beneficiaries on bed manners, Gwen counseled a Yoga Mum, Martha treated a question about when it's okay to shag, Hart handled slippery condoms (and pins, oh god, and penile fracture, OH GOD), Andy gave career advice, "T" suspected Jack was not in Dubai but answered a question about online dating anyway, and the Doctor consoled someone seeing a much older man (not me!). When Jack returned, he offered his wisdom to a wallflower and a hungry woman.
Spoilers and Historical Notes: Jack and Hart reminisced about command school. Martha explored how Morvarorians reproduce. The internet is DEFINITELY NOT MAGIC ENOUGH to get me pregnant and apparently Americans believe you can't look at a penis or you go to hell. Troubling. More troubling: Hart can regrow limbs.
Personal Notes: Gwen and Martha went shopping for duvets and brought me back a very nice one! Martha and I talked about our childhood toys; nice to know I'm not the only crazy one. Learning Italian is going slowly, but I am still best at crosswords.
Many chicken puns were made.