General Support Log: Week 2
General Support Log
v. 1, week 2
Whatever else you say about John Hart, it's almost admirable how he entirely lacks a sense of shame.
Monitoring:
Captain Jack Harkness (ask_captainjack)
Senior Agent PC Gwen Cooper and Executive Husband Rhys Williams (gwen_e_cooper, therant_willask)
Junior Senior Agent Ianto Jones (ask_aboutcoffee)
Senior Junior Agent Doctor Martha Jones (ask_arealdoctor)
Senior Temporary Agent Captain John Hart (oh_doask)
Time Agency liaison "T" (timeagency)
Torchwood Auxiliary PC Andy Davidson (dontask_pcandy)
Torchwood Temporary Tenant The Doctor (askfor_bananas)
Pet Myfanwy (ask_myfanwy)
Alien Activity: Greys in Snowdonia, or apparently on the northern coast. John Hart was sent for supervised face-shooting (of Greys) and conducted himself with remarkable success, if not dignity or courtesy. They left him a BEBE. He's been trying to hatch her ever since.
Received new intel on the Doctor. Not our Doctor, the later Doctor. Our Doctor was busy taking questions and worrying about us dying, which was nice of him really, considering he has his own problems to worry about. A couple of metallic flying stingrays ended up in London and UNIT shipped one of them to us, which pleased Martha no end.
Suspected alien activity when we were unable to hack Amazon to fix the Fail.
Staff: Martha Jones joined the team on a transfer from UNIT. This was absolutely not because I blackmailed a UNIT official. She gives good advice even if she was a little uninformed about vampires (NB scroll down for information about Santa Claus, crossfile under "Spoilers"). Martha and Gwen are getting on well, Martha and Hart, not so much. Martha was officially briefed on Max and freak island Flat Holm Island, and it all proved a bit much for her momentarily. Her first visit to Flat Holm was upsetting, naturally, but she's coping. Sort of. She also gave physicals to: Jack, Hart, Myself ( half-caf!), Gwen, and Rhys.
As it turns out, Max was not with us after all as reported in last week's...report. He had in fact managed to clone himself ( I blame the Doctor) and we had acquired a Theresa while Max was assisting Hart. He has since been reintegrated after we got the reintegrator to stop dancing.
John Hart is rubbish at crosswords and also at kidnap plans.
Jack is in Dubai this weekend. "Mysterious sexy mission". I suspect it involves shoe shopping.
Allied Organisations: Rhys provided us with an educational film about the Welsh and has uncovered unsettling evidence that other people think like Jack. Meanwhile, our Time Agency liaison was stumped! I've never seen that happen. Later, she and Hart met for a discussion of spoilers. Andy's back from his Yurt Holiday! Welcome back, Andy!
Security: As well as cloning beagles (see Staff) the TARDIS managed to clone some of the few surviving voles in the Hub. The Doctor and I dispatched them. Well, I dispatched them, he put his in a habitrail. Also, I must remember to privatelock my lists.
Supplies: The peeps we took out to Freak Island Flat Holm went over big, despite Jack's reservations. Must buy more dark chocolate. Purchased Fabulous Welshcakes at the Easter Fair. Entered negotiations with Jack for return of my ties. Carrots are coming in nicely.
THE SHEEP POO INCIDENT: (Crossfile under "Supplies" and "Security") Jack requisitioned 50 talents of sheep poo for making paper and later wrote poetry about it. Hart brought him the poo initially, showing a sense of work ethic if not of discrimination. He later lost Jack's Webley in it, but this proved to be a cruel con. Jack promptly shot him in the ankle, forcing Martha to patch Hart up after. The Poo was stolen, unfortunately (the Doctor definitely didn't do it). Its whereabouts at this time are unknown. The thieves did leave a packet of Sheep Poo Paper behind for us.
Equipment: Martha had a time and a half dissecting the stingray, so we thought we'd try hooking up a sawzall to the neural transmitter for more precision, and then got distracted by dreams of hooking Hart up to a toy car. Also, must remember to remove Hart's access to the dedicated messenger server. #twidiothart.
Community Outreach: We revisited our training on witness interrogation. Jack helped a young vampire victim, commended porn battles, and consoled those who fear change. He and Martha have negotiated a compromise regarding freak island Flat Holm. SPECIAL NOTE: One of our Civilians wrote a fanfiction about us dealing with Dalek Ec.
Spoilers and Historical Notes: Still disappointed that River never killed anything with her brain. Hart definitely had syphilis and Jack and Hart may have had a baby. The mind rebels. And again at the power ballads. Also of note: I am a founding father of the Lists For Everything movement! Hopefully I avoided the warlords.
Personal Notes: Hart stole my Snoopy boxers but Jack overwhelmed me with more. Gwen employed terrible wordplay not once but twice. She and I also planned genderfuckery for Monday. Happy to report momentary freak-the-fuck-out from Jack! I think out of vengeance he brought up the time I was cautioned by the police. I frankly don't know what's up with the ticklefighting, though.
More Uranus jokes were made.