Comments | ask_aboutcoffee: Not sad or single. Well, not single.

ask_aboutcoffee

Not sad or single. Well, not single.

Apr 19, 2009 20:29

I am not pathetic ( Read more... )

tosh was very focused, problems i have, jack harkness has nice teeth

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ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 01:46:59 UTC

Are you sleeping in my cot right now? HEY, ARE YOU SLEEPING?

You'll wipe the grief snot from your face when you see what I brought you back from Dubai.

Left the jet in a field, zooming into the city now. We're going to need to retcon some of those farmers again. By some I mean ALL of them!

ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 01:58:43 UTC

I'm not sleeping! I'm watching a film and not thinking about you at all except I did tidy your hole a bit and made a croissanwich for you for when you get back.

...how many farmers?

ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 02:06:39 UTC

All the farmers, Ianto. I didn't take names. They had pitchforks and were gesturing/screaming, someting about a burning barn. Uh is it my fault that I like to show off with the G5? It's so sweet, it practically stops on a dime. As long as you have 2 kilometres of leeway.

AREN'T YOU DYING TO SEE WHAT I GOT YOU?

ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 02:09:03 UTC

That's a big dime. I'll make some calls.

I am not five, I'm not going to beg for presents Okay tell me what you got me.

ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 02:39:24 UTC

Okay I was on this side-mission to replace those shoes of yours that melted for reasons I don't even remember right now. I'm too excited to recall. I LOVE TELLING YOU STORIES ABOUT THE THINGS I DO!

So, I'm wandering around Bur Dubai with The Sheik and also Megan from the Burj Al Arab concierge desk.

I had your right shoe with me for sizing. Took the brown New & Lingwood with the pointy toe. I left you a note about that in the left shoe, btw.

We strolled into a galleria and I slammed your shoe down on the counter.

You can't shout TORCHWOOD in Dubai and expect things to happen. It's an entirely different culture! I have to use my beauty to make things happen. I grinned at the salesman and requested some Cole Haans that are super sexy and fit your foot.

Ok, just then I saw it. I ALMOST CAME JUST LOOKING AT IT.

Please welcome our newest vehicle of transport (For going places fastly).

( ... )

ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 02:48:59 UTC

It's...the most beautiful thing I've ever seen on two wheels, Jack.

I'm already making decals.

And looking for a manual regarding sex on a motorbike.

AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 02:52:18 UTC

I left your shoe on the counter in Dubai.

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 02:53:26 UTC

I'm going to need a pair of motorcycle boots anyway, don't worry about it.

I can't stop staring at that picture.

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:04:15 UTC

Yeah, fuck it! You won't need to walk anywhere from now on.

People will say, 'Hey why aren't you wearing shoes, Ianto Jones?'

And in reply you will throw up a gang sign and indicate that you don't need shoes because your boss bought you this fucking wicked bike!

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 03:06:15 UTC

I do have a tattoo, I'm well on my way to a delayed juvenile delinquency. How exciting!

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:19:13 UTC

Speaking of exciting, I brought Hart some soap and a loofah from the hotel. You can throw it in his bucket, see if he takes the hint!

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 03:21:58 UTC

That was very thoughtful of you, Jack! I'm sure Hart will appreciate soap pre-wrapped for his convenience.

Now, the really important question:

What did you bring Max?

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:35:30 UTC

Theresa is getting something he has wanted for a VERY LONG TIME.

And Dubai had enough copper piping and engineers to make this happen.

ROTISSERIE !!!

( ... )

Re: AW SHIT! gwen_e_cooper April 20 2009, 03:38:58 UTC

Myfanwy is going to LOVE THAT ROTISSERIE SMELL.

(Don't let her see you put birds in it. Maybe we can rotate a ham for her.)

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 03:41:01 UTC

Or it could be an effective deterrent. "If you're naughty, you're going on the rotisserie!"

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:43:13 UTC

Hey I even know where you can get a ham. You tell the guy at Sainsbury's that you want a ham and he will give you all the pink chunks you need! We should just get a regular ham order into the Hub like we do with the milk and lube deliveries.

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