Comments | ask_aboutcoffee: Not sad or single. Well, not single.

ask_aboutcoffee

Not sad or single. Well, not single.

Apr 19, 2009 20:29

I am not pathetic ( Read more... )

tosh was very focused, problems i have, jack harkness has nice teeth

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ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 02:39:24 UTC

Okay I was on this side-mission to replace those shoes of yours that melted for reasons I don't even remember right now. I'm too excited to recall. I LOVE TELLING YOU STORIES ABOUT THE THINGS I DO!

So, I'm wandering around Bur Dubai with The Sheik and also Megan from the Burj Al Arab concierge desk.

I had your right shoe with me for sizing. Took the brown New & Lingwood with the pointy toe. I left you a note about that in the left shoe, btw.

We strolled into a galleria and I slammed your shoe down on the counter.

You can't shout TORCHWOOD in Dubai and expect things to happen. It's an entirely different culture! I have to use my beauty to make things happen. I grinned at the salesman and requested some Cole Haans that are super sexy and fit your foot.

Ok, just then I saw it. I ALMOST CAME JUST LOOKING AT IT.

Please welcome our newest vehicle of transport (For going places fastly).

I can't wait to get you up on this thing. The MV Agusta F4CC. I'm driving it into city now. I've pulled up my coat to hide my face. Don't want to be recognised until we BRAND THIS SUCKER UP CORRECTLY.

Ianto, I need you to get:

A) A branding iron or stickers or whatever we need to label this machine TORCHWOOD PROPERTY

B) A helmet for you that won't wreck your hair. I love you in chin straps. I THINK THIS WAS FATE!

ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 02:48:59 UTC

It's...the most beautiful thing I've ever seen on two wheels, Jack.

I'm already making decals.

And looking for a manual regarding sex on a motorbike.

AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 02:52:18 UTC

I left your shoe on the counter in Dubai.

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 02:53:26 UTC

I'm going to need a pair of motorcycle boots anyway, don't worry about it.

I can't stop staring at that picture.

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:04:15 UTC

Yeah, fuck it! You won't need to walk anywhere from now on.

People will say, 'Hey why aren't you wearing shoes, Ianto Jones?'

And in reply you will throw up a gang sign and indicate that you don't need shoes because your boss bought you this fucking wicked bike!

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 03:06:15 UTC

I do have a tattoo, I'm well on my way to a delayed juvenile delinquency. How exciting!

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:19:13 UTC

Speaking of exciting, I brought Hart some soap and a loofah from the hotel. You can throw it in his bucket, see if he takes the hint!

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 03:21:58 UTC

That was very thoughtful of you, Jack! I'm sure Hart will appreciate soap pre-wrapped for his convenience.

Now, the really important question:

What did you bring Max?

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:35:30 UTC

Theresa is getting something he has wanted for a VERY LONG TIME.

And Dubai had enough copper piping and engineers to make this happen.

ROTISSERIE !!!

I'm thinking we mod up the piping on the 2nd level next to the big dragon mural. That way the smell of rotisserie drifts throughout the Hub. AND I can stand there admiring my rotisserie and brooding or whatever, when I need to keep an eye on my team.

Re: AW SHIT! gwen_e_cooper April 20 2009, 03:38:58 UTC

Myfanwy is going to LOVE THAT ROTISSERIE SMELL.

(Don't let her see you put birds in it. Maybe we can rotate a ham for her.)

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 03:41:01 UTC

Or it could be an effective deterrent. "If you're naughty, you're going on the rotisserie!"

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:43:13 UTC

Hey I even know where you can get a ham. You tell the guy at Sainsbury's that you want a ham and he will give you all the pink chunks you need! We should just get a regular ham order into the Hub like we do with the milk and lube deliveries.

Re: AW SHIT! gwen_e_cooper April 20 2009, 04:02:54 UTC

Rhys can make hams!

He puts pineapples on and cherries, and fastens it with toothpicks!

Then he glazes it with... something. I don't even know, but Easter dinner was delicious.

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 03:42:01 UTC

Max has his front paws on the keyboard and his tiny nose pressed against the screen. His tail may be wagging.

I'm having to remind myself very hard that he's evil.

Re: AW SHIT! ask_captainjack April 20 2009, 03:46:41 UTC

HA HA HA! Theresa honey don't eat the screen. It's a computer for doing calculations!!!! It's not food!!!

We need to see how long it takes Ianto to read the instructions on this Rotisserie kit before we can start roasting.

Tomorrow I'll assist by taking a sledgehammer to the brick wall and smashing us out a space!

Re: AW SHIT! ask_aboutcoffee April 20 2009, 03:49:42 UTC

Don't smash the dragon! It's bad luck. Put it next to his mouth. Wait, no, that's taunting it. Put it behind him.

It's a...very big rotisserie, isn't it.

There's a lot of "connect flange K to strut B using Washer XQ72" in my future, I feel.

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