(no subject)
It seems I've been everything but a woman lately, and I kind of miss it. I've been a housekeeper, a CEO, a control freak, an employee, an annoyance, and God knows what else - but certainly not a woman.
I can't remember the last time I shampooed my hair a little while longer to linger on the fresh scent, or took two hours to shave, or laid and listened to music while my nails dried, or truly felt happy to be a woman, or be made feel like one. In my attempt to make everyone around me happy, I've forgotten about myself. This is very evident when things happen around me that seem unfair, when after I use all my resources to help everyone my resources run dry and all people can talk to me about are themselves, or their things.. and mine are overshadowed. I think you're all I have left, dear diary. Well.. something that listens to me without trying to change the subject, or trying to `fix` me in the `right` direction.
Sigh. I don't know. Maybe I owe myself a long bath, with bubbles, and music and candle light.. to be able to feel my own skin, and run my fingers through my hair gently. Spend a good hour to blow dry my hair, try out some new colors, go and smile at the register girl who will ring up the book I've been dying to purchase..
Something.. something for me.
I just wish I didn't cry while doing it. Because I feel unproductive. I guess it's because I don't feel I'm important enough to spend the time on.
I can't remember the last time I shampooed my hair a little while longer to linger on the fresh scent, or took two hours to shave, or laid and listened to music while my nails dried, or truly felt happy to be a woman, or be made feel like one. In my attempt to make everyone around me happy, I've forgotten about myself. This is very evident when things happen around me that seem unfair, when after I use all my resources to help everyone my resources run dry and all people can talk to me about are themselves, or their things.. and mine are overshadowed. I think you're all I have left, dear diary. Well.. something that listens to me without trying to change the subject, or trying to `fix` me in the `right` direction.
Sigh. I don't know. Maybe I owe myself a long bath, with bubbles, and music and candle light.. to be able to feel my own skin, and run my fingers through my hair gently. Spend a good hour to blow dry my hair, try out some new colors, go and smile at the register girl who will ring up the book I've been dying to purchase..
Something.. something for me.
I just wish I didn't cry while doing it. Because I feel unproductive. I guess it's because I don't feel I'm important enough to spend the time on.