Blood and Tears; they were here first.
So not only did I have to come home to hell today, I found out that I could've stayed at my grandparents for another week. My tv won't work with my new dvd player that I've waited several years for. Casey answered the phone when I called Alex and I thought my heart as well as several other organs were going to fly out of my throat. When does it end? When does it start to get better?
My dad didn't get to my grandma's til 12:30 on Christmas. Yeah, so much for Christmas morning. I don't even know why I expect him to redeem himself anymore. He always shows up late, he always lets me down. He always disappoints me. With such simple little things. Always saying he's going to do something and then not doing it.
I am so fucking sick and tired of feeling like this all the time. And I am sick of a certain someone saying that life is only as good as you make it then turning around and complaining about how they need to be married by a certain time and how much they suck. Obviously it isn't that great. I can't control my dad, I can't change my job because I'm not fucking allowed to and I'm not allowed to because my dad won't teach me how to drive. And that's me making life bad? I don't fucking think so.
I love you. I never stopped loving you and I would give anything just to be with you again and never have to worry. You made everything so much better, so much happier and so much brighter. Wherever you are is still my home.
I wish I could stop worrying, I wish that just once, something would work out right. Everything is so wrong. My life is going nowhere and there is nothing I can do about it because I'm being held back by the person who is supposed to help me go forward.
I want a real family. I want to be cared about again.
I hate being here. Hateithateithateit.
My dad didn't get to my grandma's til 12:30 on Christmas. Yeah, so much for Christmas morning. I don't even know why I expect him to redeem himself anymore. He always shows up late, he always lets me down. He always disappoints me. With such simple little things. Always saying he's going to do something and then not doing it.
I am so fucking sick and tired of feeling like this all the time. And I am sick of a certain someone saying that life is only as good as you make it then turning around and complaining about how they need to be married by a certain time and how much they suck. Obviously it isn't that great. I can't control my dad, I can't change my job because I'm not fucking allowed to and I'm not allowed to because my dad won't teach me how to drive. And that's me making life bad? I don't fucking think so.
I love you. I never stopped loving you and I would give anything just to be with you again and never have to worry. You made everything so much better, so much happier and so much brighter. Wherever you are is still my home.
I wish I could stop worrying, I wish that just once, something would work out right. Everything is so wrong. My life is going nowhere and there is nothing I can do about it because I'm being held back by the person who is supposed to help me go forward.
I want a real family. I want to be cared about again.
I hate being here. Hateithateithateit.