bitchbitchbitchcomplainbitchnervousscaredbleh.
I am hardcore freaking out about graduating. I have a ton of ideas of what I want to go to college for but I feel like none of them are going to stick. I think I would get bored with the job and want to move onto something else.
I don't want to be fucking grown up and mature.
I'm going to be freaking 20 years old next year. And that scares me to friggin' death.
And sometimes I really just don't to care about anything at all. I want to be carefree and just do what I want instead of what I have to do and what everyone else expects me to do.
Growing up sucks and that's all there is to it.
fuck.
I really want to go to Williamsburg sometime soon and go to Busch Gardens but no one has money or they're going with other people and Alex is going on some road trip that I'm not allowed on apparently even though I've wanted to go on a road trip since I was like 10 and I've made it known to him that I wanted to go tagging with him since he loves it so much.
Whatever.
I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do while he's gone anyway. I'll have been there for maybe a few weeks and won't know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm hoping to have at least my own apartment after a few weeks, whether he'll be ready to move out his parents house or not I have no idea. But I'm not going to impose on them and I want to be getting a job and stuff as soon as I get up there.
I just hope all this shit works out when it's supposed to or I'm going to be really hurt and disappointed.
ugh.
I hate this.
I'm going to be slaughtered.