(no subject)
Somtimes the small animals he killed were so beautiful that he carried them around for a few days until they started to stink too much to hide from his mother. He had a dead bat for three days and it stunk up his whole room. His mother came in and asked if something died in there and he told her no, I killed it outside. He had a dead kitten that he killed with a rock. He kept it outside so his mother wouldn't give him grief about it. He would come home from school and play with it and watch it rot. He found a dead bird and hung it up from a light pole. It stayed up there so long that finally the weight of the body pulled away from the head. This all leaded to her. She was beautiful like those animals were. She had pretty eyes, her hair smelled nice. Mean things came out of her mouth but he was used to it. The snakes and the turtles and the bat all tried to bite him before he killed them. He felt safer touching beautiful things after they were dead. When they were alive they didn't let him get close. They either ran away or told him no. NO. DON'T TOUCH ME. NO. I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. NO. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME. NO. GET AWAY FROM ME OR I'LL SCREAM. For a minute, he thought she was different than the other ones. He wanted to believe it so bad. She hurt him but he still thought she was beautiful. She was like one of those beautiful animals and he wanted to cutt her head off so he could look at it for a few nights before it started to rot. He could carry her head around in a bag and show it to people. He could ask people if they wanted to see something really beautiful but it's a secret. They would say okay because everyone says they can keep a secret even when they can't. Thats when he'd show them her fucking head. And when he's tired of looking at her, he could take the bag and swing it at a wall as hard as he could a lot of times and then she wouldn't be beautiful anymore and it would feel good because it would be him who'd made her dead and ugly. Then he would feel safe and free.