Birthday, and Trust.
It's been a while. I just haven't been able to write much these last few months. Things are pretty good. Life continues. I am blessed, as always. So many blessings.
I've been dating this guy Andrew Zockoll. Brandon set us up on a blind date back in May and we have been hanging out ever since. I really like him. It has been fun to hang out with him this summer, it has been exactly what I've needed. Things have been getting to the point though where it's been hard for him because I can't be sealed to anyone else. I can't really imagine what it would be like, marrying someone and not being sealed at all, so I have tried to be really understanding. At first we just wanted to date and get to know each other, but now things are getting more serious, and so we decided to take some time apart so he could decide if not being sealed to me would be something he could handle. I just don't want to get closer to him and make myself more vulnerable if marrying me in the future isn't in the realm of possibility for him. It sucks. It really does. But, I trust Heavenly Father. He has always taken care of me, and He always will. The Savior heals everything. He has and is healing me from losing Robert, and he will heal all of my hurts. He knows exactly how I am feeling and what I need, and he is always blessing me with his Spirit, and his angels. Life is good. It all comes down to patience, trust, and above all, love. Enough love can heal anything. And it does. I have experienced it in the most personal ways. I really am so blessed to have learned so much and been so blessed in my 25 years of life. I have been blessed and trusted with great knowledge and I am nothing but grateful for it. So while it's hard to know that Andrew could decide to not date me again, I trust that it will work out perfectly.
It's Robert's birthday today, it's been a weird day. It's days like these that life just seems surreal. I miss him so much. It's weird how I'm used to not having him around and how it's just going to become more and more normal that he is my angel now, instead of my husband. It's a strange thing. I have so much love for him. Sometimes I wonder where he is, what he is doing. I feel his joy though, and his love for me all the time. He is amazing. I am so blessed to have such an amazing eternal companion. I know he knows who I am going to spend this life with here, now that he is gone, and I know he has a part in arranging it all. So what do I have to worry about? Absolutely nothing. I am always taken care of. I feel comfort and peace daily. It's not to say that I don't have hard days, hard moments, but I am always blessed to work through them quickly... and what a blessing that is. It's all my Savior. He is amazing. I am in constant awe of Him, of His atoning sacrifice for me, for us all. It's incredible.
So with Him by my side, guiding me... I continue welcoming the future with confidence and joy.
I've been dating this guy Andrew Zockoll. Brandon set us up on a blind date back in May and we have been hanging out ever since. I really like him. It has been fun to hang out with him this summer, it has been exactly what I've needed. Things have been getting to the point though where it's been hard for him because I can't be sealed to anyone else. I can't really imagine what it would be like, marrying someone and not being sealed at all, so I have tried to be really understanding. At first we just wanted to date and get to know each other, but now things are getting more serious, and so we decided to take some time apart so he could decide if not being sealed to me would be something he could handle. I just don't want to get closer to him and make myself more vulnerable if marrying me in the future isn't in the realm of possibility for him. It sucks. It really does. But, I trust Heavenly Father. He has always taken care of me, and He always will. The Savior heals everything. He has and is healing me from losing Robert, and he will heal all of my hurts. He knows exactly how I am feeling and what I need, and he is always blessing me with his Spirit, and his angels. Life is good. It all comes down to patience, trust, and above all, love. Enough love can heal anything. And it does. I have experienced it in the most personal ways. I really am so blessed to have learned so much and been so blessed in my 25 years of life. I have been blessed and trusted with great knowledge and I am nothing but grateful for it. So while it's hard to know that Andrew could decide to not date me again, I trust that it will work out perfectly.
It's Robert's birthday today, it's been a weird day. It's days like these that life just seems surreal. I miss him so much. It's weird how I'm used to not having him around and how it's just going to become more and more normal that he is my angel now, instead of my husband. It's a strange thing. I have so much love for him. Sometimes I wonder where he is, what he is doing. I feel his joy though, and his love for me all the time. He is amazing. I am so blessed to have such an amazing eternal companion. I know he knows who I am going to spend this life with here, now that he is gone, and I know he has a part in arranging it all. So what do I have to worry about? Absolutely nothing. I am always taken care of. I feel comfort and peace daily. It's not to say that I don't have hard days, hard moments, but I am always blessed to work through them quickly... and what a blessing that is. It's all my Savior. He is amazing. I am in constant awe of Him, of His atoning sacrifice for me, for us all. It's incredible.
So with Him by my side, guiding me... I continue welcoming the future with confidence and joy.