Assassination Attempt / My very own theoretical insanity defense
The guy being charged with trying to assassinate Obama sounds pretty crazy. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45342223/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/t/man-charged-attempted-assassination/) Apparently he believed attacking the White House was part of a personal mission from God. He was obsessed with the date 11/11/11, and obsessed with Obama. He hated Obama, the government, society, etc. etc. etc. He sounds schizophrenic. He's only 21, and that's about the age that schizophrenia usually manifests. But who knows...lots of people try to portray themselves as schizophrenic or otherwise crazy so that they can attempt a plea of insanity. It very rarely works. He probably is schizophrenic...I think studying criminology has just made me skeptical haha.
On a less serious note...
The whole "God told me to do it" thing is so overplayed! At least David Berkowitz (Son of Sam) was original, claiming that his neighbor's dog told him to kill people. That defense didn't work, but it was creative. Berkowitz was not a schizophrenic...at least according to multiple experts, but I suppose they could be wrong. I think they're right though. He just wanted to play the crazy card. If I ever become a serial killer, I'm just going to say that a platypus told me to do it. A mystical, magical platypus that speaks a mixture of all the languages in the world, and only I can understand him. Not only that, but only I can see and hear him. I'll say that he told me he was the true ruler of the universe, and that if I didn't sacrifice measly humans all his platypus children, who are heirs to the throne, would die, and the death of all the platypus heirs would mark the end of the universe. Nice run-on sentence there...but that's ok, because right now I'm pretending I'm crazy (or am I pretending?), and crazy people can use as many run-on sentences as they want to. Anyway, back to the platypus. I wouldn't want to be responsible for the demise of the universe, so I'll say I simply followed his orders. They'll have to believe me. Especially after I tell him he flew in to tell me all of this on a sparkly flying zebra. Take that, angels. Sparkly flying zebras are way more bad ass. I'm pretty sure the platypus defense has never been used before. I would totally win. Assuming this LJ entry never gets out, that is...
Damn, now I really wish I had a sparkly flying zebra. Except I'm allergic to horse-like animals. Giraffes have horse-like hair, and I'm allergic to them. And I'm allergic to horses, which are about as horse-like as you can get. So seeing as how zebras are horses' cooler cousins, I'm probably allergic to them too. Hmmm...I guess I'll just have to get a hypoallergenic sparkly flying zebra.
I have no idea where any of this came from. I'm guessing lack of sleep has something to do with it.
On a less serious note...
The whole "God told me to do it" thing is so overplayed! At least David Berkowitz (Son of Sam) was original, claiming that his neighbor's dog told him to kill people. That defense didn't work, but it was creative. Berkowitz was not a schizophrenic...at least according to multiple experts, but I suppose they could be wrong. I think they're right though. He just wanted to play the crazy card. If I ever become a serial killer, I'm just going to say that a platypus told me to do it. A mystical, magical platypus that speaks a mixture of all the languages in the world, and only I can understand him. Not only that, but only I can see and hear him. I'll say that he told me he was the true ruler of the universe, and that if I didn't sacrifice measly humans all his platypus children, who are heirs to the throne, would die, and the death of all the platypus heirs would mark the end of the universe. Nice run-on sentence there...but that's ok, because right now I'm pretending I'm crazy (or am I pretending?), and crazy people can use as many run-on sentences as they want to. Anyway, back to the platypus. I wouldn't want to be responsible for the demise of the universe, so I'll say I simply followed his orders. They'll have to believe me. Especially after I tell him he flew in to tell me all of this on a sparkly flying zebra. Take that, angels. Sparkly flying zebras are way more bad ass. I'm pretty sure the platypus defense has never been used before. I would totally win. Assuming this LJ entry never gets out, that is...
Damn, now I really wish I had a sparkly flying zebra. Except I'm allergic to horse-like animals. Giraffes have horse-like hair, and I'm allergic to them. And I'm allergic to horses, which are about as horse-like as you can get. So seeing as how zebras are horses' cooler cousins, I'm probably allergic to them too. Hmmm...I guess I'll just have to get a hypoallergenic sparkly flying zebra.
I have no idea where any of this came from. I'm guessing lack of sleep has something to do with it.