and all these lines fall short of what i had in mind, a failed attempt to capsilize a feeling...
i love 2 hour delays. school should always open 2 hours late because then i am awake and can actually function. actually that might not be the case since i didn't wake up til 9 when there was a knock @ the door and josh was there and he's like umm ash we gotta go to school and i was in my pjs and was like holy shit!(like in animal house haha) and i was like oh no what do i do!? and hes like um maybe put some clothes on? just a suggestion. lol. sorry bout that josh. oh well, i needed those extra 2 hours. been kinda sluggish lately:-/ oh well. luckily mom was home or else i would have had a day off bc the damn car is still in the shop! ARGH! i hate not having a car this whole week because i hate being a mooch and i wanna go places w/out stealing people's cars or having them drive me places. it's like 9th grade all over again/ or pre-license which sucks. anyways, thank you to everyone who has given me a ride this week! i really REALLY appreciate it more than you know. anytime you need a ride, just lemme know and i'd be glad to help out:)
on another note, i got home today and my mom was baking a cake for dad bc it's his bday and she had the radio and the backstreet boys were on and i was having teenie bopper flashbacks. BSB!!!! haha. anyways i was really excited and then my mom started doing the running man to "i want it that way" and i was scared but it was just another wonderful moment in the wonderful world of ash:-p then i got to lick the icing off the spatula and that was fun. tonight we're going to birthday dinner @ macaroni grill w/ my aunt and pat. it's the 1st time he's going to be like sitting down w/ my parents talking to them for more than 5/10 minutes so if i were him i'd be really scared. my dad can be somewhat intimidating to some people. i just hope it goes well and no one says anything that will piss someone off. i doubt it but maybe i should be more optimistic about the situation. anyways, kinda bad, eric is worried about me bc he thinks i'm slipping w/ faith and morals and stuff but i'm just losing my mind. i don't know what's wrong. i guess i'm in a "don't care about anything phase" right now which sucks a lot but i just don't know. i'm having to make a lot of decisions lately which will affect the happiness, or lack there of, during the next few months. blast! i just don't know but i don't really wanna talk about any of it. i'm just really overwhelmed right now and feel that it's so easy for me to get like that lately. i just need to chill according to derek. lol the other day after school derek took me to starbucks and we hung out and listened to ben folds in the car and then before we went to andy's for "band practice" i made him go to jo-anne fabrics haha just to look @ patterns for dresses. needless to say he was very bored but it was quite amusing. then he started looking @ stuff and thinks i should make myself a hoochie track suit like britney spears. sorry dear, i don't see that happening, or the school girl outfit. unless midshipmen... haha jk. anyways then we went to andy's house and started watching korean tv and that was amazing bc caitlin and i dubbed over it in english and that was great fun. we should tape ourselves sometime haha. then we watched a korean dating show and all the korean guys were gay and derek was rating the girls on the ugly scale and the hottie scale hahahaha. it was great. anyways it's really really cold down here and i think i'm going to go take a shower and get ready for later.
people make stupid decisions. that's all i have to say. but the future holds a lot and you never know what can happen.
:-/
on another note, i got home today and my mom was baking a cake for dad bc it's his bday and she had the radio and the backstreet boys were on and i was having teenie bopper flashbacks. BSB!!!! haha. anyways i was really excited and then my mom started doing the running man to "i want it that way" and i was scared but it was just another wonderful moment in the wonderful world of ash:-p then i got to lick the icing off the spatula and that was fun. tonight we're going to birthday dinner @ macaroni grill w/ my aunt and pat. it's the 1st time he's going to be like sitting down w/ my parents talking to them for more than 5/10 minutes so if i were him i'd be really scared. my dad can be somewhat intimidating to some people. i just hope it goes well and no one says anything that will piss someone off. i doubt it but maybe i should be more optimistic about the situation. anyways, kinda bad, eric is worried about me bc he thinks i'm slipping w/ faith and morals and stuff but i'm just losing my mind. i don't know what's wrong. i guess i'm in a "don't care about anything phase" right now which sucks a lot but i just don't know. i'm having to make a lot of decisions lately which will affect the happiness, or lack there of, during the next few months. blast! i just don't know but i don't really wanna talk about any of it. i'm just really overwhelmed right now and feel that it's so easy for me to get like that lately. i just need to chill according to derek. lol the other day after school derek took me to starbucks and we hung out and listened to ben folds in the car and then before we went to andy's for "band practice" i made him go to jo-anne fabrics haha just to look @ patterns for dresses. needless to say he was very bored but it was quite amusing. then he started looking @ stuff and thinks i should make myself a hoochie track suit like britney spears. sorry dear, i don't see that happening, or the school girl outfit. unless midshipmen... haha jk. anyways then we went to andy's house and started watching korean tv and that was amazing bc caitlin and i dubbed over it in english and that was great fun. we should tape ourselves sometime haha. then we watched a korean dating show and all the korean guys were gay and derek was rating the girls on the ugly scale and the hottie scale hahahaha. it was great. anyways it's really really cold down here and i think i'm going to go take a shower and get ready for later.
people make stupid decisions. that's all i have to say. but the future holds a lot and you never know what can happen.
:-/