Musings
I'm in a bunch of LinkedIn networking groups, and I get e-mails with digests, etc. One of them linked to this blog. I am not at all one of those "blog readers," yet I have a few of my own blogs. Ehh, I've never been one to go with the flow or with everyone else.
Anyway, this really hit home. It's very hard to sit here unemployed. It is not just that I don't have a job or any money or anything like that. It is also because most of my friends are in Boston, and I'm here in NY. I have one incredibly fantastic friend here in NY. He's been my rock throughout all of this, and he makes it a point to see me at least once a week, every 9-ish days at most, and sometimes more than once a week. But no one ever comes over to my apartment, and I greatly miss those days.
What I am trying to say is that I haven't had much or enough support from most people. My G-d, if someone would just ask how I'm doing for once, it would be great! I'm sorry I incessantly IM people, but if I could explain what it's like to go without human contact 95% of the time, I would. I hope that the text I paste below from this blog post can better-explain some of what I'm feeling than I have. So please, don't hate me when I IM you. If you're busy, just tell me, or say that you'll get back to me later. I hate initiating contact, but it's the easiest way for me to not "crawl into a hole," as the author describes.
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Positively Positive Staying positive can be difficult when you are living joblessly. It gets discouraging. However, it is important to not allow the discouragement take over. Falling into something strongly resembling depression does your job search no good (something I have been struggling to remind myself of quite often in the past six months). So how do you keep positive?
One of the most important thing is to spend time with good friends. It is amazing how quickly they can talk you into a better frame of mind. Earlier today, I was feeling like the universe was conspiring against me. However, I then spent some time chatting with a friend (who also has an advanced degree and has been unable to find employment in her chosen field). We commiserated together, we encouraged each other, and we talked about what we are going to do when we win the lottery. After this discussion, I felt a thousand times better. I was able to think about things without feeling utterly hopeless. Friends are crucial to keeping your mental health on track. When you are reaching the point of depression, it is tempting to hole up, shut out the world, and become a hermit. But do not do it. Talk to a friend, keep things in perspective, and smile.
Another thing that can help is a change of scenery. If you are spending every day in the same location where you apply for jobs that you are not hearing back from, that can begin to affect you, whether you realize it or not. That location can become depressing. Just going somewhere else can lift your spirits. Go to a coffee shop, a library, or a bookstore. It will help give you fresh focus and fresh perspective.
Even if you do not have a good place to go for work, then at least take a walk, or even better, take a personal day. Yes, it is okay to take a personal day from your full time job searching. Walk in the park. Have a movie marathon. Give yourself a mani/pedi. Meditate. Do yoga. Give yourself permission to not think about job hunting for a day. Really, it is okay. Taking care of yourself will help to keep you positive.
And finally, do not be afraid to tell others what you need. No matter who you are, you have people who love you. People who care about how you are doing. People who are willing to help you. All you have to do is ask them for what you need.