Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Concierge' Essential Guide - The Art Of Diplomacy: Receiving Guest Complaints.
The concierge can be assured of a few fundamental s truths when it comes to his profession.
1) A taxi is, without fail, either too late or absurdly early for a guest, no matter how earnestly you stress the importance of timeliness to the operator. This issue has been previously dealt with in section entitled Ordering a Taxi #101
2) 93% of Night Auditors sleep on the job, and 8% lie. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule. The fact that the math for this statistical data shows a 1% error further indicates that a certain percentage of Night Audit staff know very little about mathematics. This is a large concern for most hotels' accountancy departments.
3) Guests Will Complain. No matter how well groomed your staff, how well presented your rooms and how expedient your services, Guests Will Complain.
This section is solely concerned with the importance of diplomacy when receiving guest complaints. Two case studies will be examined.
Section #01 - Mentally Overcoming the "Guest Stupidity" Factor (Tautology?)
Any decent concierge knows his hotel with utmost intimacy, from roof to cellar and back again. He will know which shower heads jet water in every direction except upon the showerer. He knows which beds are lumpy. He knows which room number was used last month for a monumental booze-fest by a B-List celebrity, because he remembers cleaning the 3 litres of vomit from behind the curtains (and finding a further litre a week later between the mattresses). You ask him at any time "which room was it that has a queen-single split, city view, is non-smoking and has the leather lounge?" he will reply as fluidly as he draws air with clockwork regularity. This being the case, he often forgets that his esteemed guest is a tourist here and everything is new to him. Even the mundane task of using a telephonic apparatus takes on a new tinge with the added challenge of obtaining an outside line. A concierge will be asked the same questions over and over (and over again) and may grow somewhat jaded by the tedium of repetition, but should at all times remember his immeasurable wealth of knowledge, both local and technical, is what keeps him at the top of his class. i will now provide the first case study which displays the importance of being able to mentally deal with what is known in the industry as the Guest Error Complaint.
Case Study 1
An elderly couple, having just checked in to suite 1307, wished to phone relatives interstate to assure them of their safe arrival. The call came to reception on extension 9 as follows.
The hotel switch flashes, alerting that Suite 1307 require telephonic assistance.
Concierge: "Good evening, this is reception?"
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh! Hello! I'm just trying to contact my family..."
Concierge: "No problem sir. You will just need to dial a 0 for an outside line."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh, thank you. I'll give that a try then." *click*
A few brief moments later, the hotel switch rings again, it's gentle pulse-tone ebbing gently across the vast marble reception.
Concierge: "Good evening, this is reception?"
Elderly Gentleman: *bip bip biiip bip bip biiiip*
Concierge: "Hello? Recep..."
Elderly Gentleman: "bipbip biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip"
Concierge: "...tion?"
Elderly Gentleman: "Hello, Elly?"
Concierge: "Sir, this is hotel reception."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh. I am trying to reach my daughter."
Concierge: "Yes, sir. Please simply dial a 0 before dialling to access an outside line."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh, I see!"
Concierge: "Of course you do, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Well, thank you, I shall try that."
Concierge: "Best of luck, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Thank you again." *click*
A mere 23 seconds have passed before the hotel switch flashes again, alerting assistance required at extension 1307.
Concierge: "Good evening, this is reception?"
Elderly Gentleman: *bip bip biiip bip bip biiiip*
Concierge: "Hello? Recep..."
Elderly Gentleman: "bipbip biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip"
Concierge: "...tion?"
Elderly Gentleman: "Elly! Hello!"
Concierge: "Sir, again, you have reached reception."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh, dear me."
Concierge: "Quite, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "What am I doing wrong?"
Concierge: "If you would like to read the number to me, I can advise exactly what you need to dial."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh! I am trying to reach 555-1236"
Concierge: "In this state?"
Elderly Gentleman: "No, Victoria."
Concierge: "So we need the area code as well."
Elderly Gentleman: "We do?"
Concierge: "Yes. So You will need to dial zero, then zero three, five five..."
Elderly Gentleman: "bipbipbiiip bip Yes.. oh, yes... bip biiiip bipbipbip"
Concierge: "..five one........ Sir?"
Elderly Gentleman: "*biiiiiiip* Hello, Elly?"
Concierge: "sir, you are still speaking to me at reception. You will need to hang up and then dial that number in its entirety."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh!"
At this time, the switch alerts that the second extension in suite 1307 is dialling.
Concierge: "One moment please sir, if you could just hold. *switch lines* Good evening, reception?""
Elderly Lady: "Good evening, yes. Now, my husband is just trying to dial our daughter from the telephone in the lounge room and he seems to be having quite a bit of trouble."
Concierge: "Yes, ma'am, I'm actually just..."
Elderly Lady: "I was hoping you could give us some assistance with how to dial? Aside, she yells Donald! I have a young man on the phone here to help!"
Concierge: "Yes, I'm actually just on the phone with him now...."
Elderly Lady: "Just a moment, I'll put him on... Donald!!!"
Elderly Gentleman: "Margaret, I'm on the phone!"
Elderly Lady: "I have a young man here!"
Concierge: "Ma'am, please, if i could just..."
Elderly Lady: "He's just coming, hang on..."
Concierge: "....Lord help me."
Elderly Gentleman: "Yes hello?"
Concierge: "This is reception, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh, hello!"
Concierge: "I need you to hang up both telephones and dial zero, then zero three...."
Elderly Gentleman: "I'm just speaking to a young gentleman on the other line."
Concierge: "yes sir, I know. It is me."
Elderly Gentleman: "I will just go and let him know you are helping me now, shall I?"
Concierge: *teeth grind to the point of disintergration "Yes, OK, why not."
Elderly Gentleman: "Just a moment" *click*
Back to line 1.
Elderly Gentleman: "Hello?"
Concierge: "yes, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Sorry to keep you there!"
Concierge: "Really, it's no trouble."
Elderly Gentleman: "i have a young man on the other line who is going to help me dial my daughter now!"
Concierge: "Oh, superb sir. I shall leave it with you then, shall I?"
Elderly Gentleman: "Yes, I'll get there! And thank you for all your help!"
Concierge: "I'll speak to you again shortly, sir." *click*
Back to line 2.
Elderly Gentleman: "Hello, are you still there?"
Concierge: "Yes sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Sorry, i just had to run in from the other phone."
Concierge: "No problem sir."
Elderly Gentleman: *more than a little confused* "........Is this you still?"
Concierge: "Yes sir. Hello."
Elderly Gentleman: "Is the other gentleman there?"
Line 1 is buzzing again. 1307.
Concierge: "One moment please sir *CHANGE LINES* Good evening, reception?"
Elderly Lady: "Hello? Yes. I'd like to make a complaint. Our phone doesn't seem to be working."
Concierge: "Oh? What seems to be the trouble?"
Elderly Lady: "One moment, I'll get my husband and he can explain. DONALD!!!"
(in the background) Elderly Gentleman: "Margaret! I'm on the phone!"
You can clearly see where this is going. It went on for quite some time before a successful telephonic connection to the desired person/s was placed. This example shows not only the importance of patience when instructing on the operation of complicated hotel equipment, but the importance of being able to diligently operate your own switch between incoming calls.
The next example I will offer you is one more concerned with professionalism under pressure, where the guest has been grossly inconvenienced. In the industry these complaints are known as Property Issue Complaints.
Case Study 2
A young German traveller had arrived at the hotel from the international airport just after sunrise following an horrific 32 hour flight from Frankfurt. His room was not yet vacant, let alone clean and ready, and no other room was available. Now, check in time in any hotel (and the best of my knowledge this is to well established around the world) is two PM. Unfortunately, not much can be done. He was too tired to explore the city and spent the hours in the hotel café waiting until a room was available. A room was clean by midday at which point he checked in and, presumably, fell fast asleep.
Quite some hours pass before hell breaks loose.
The hotel and surrounding area, Sydney's Chinatown, is patrolled by night by armed patrol guards with well trained German Shepherds (Alsatian). Often the night concierge staff would make him a coffee when he drops in on his rounds at 1AM, 3AM and 5AM, just shoot the breeze. On this night, a massive amount of barking echoed down the quiet city street just outside the hotel's reception. The night concierge, curious poke his head over the desk to see a slathering hell-hound of an Alsatian, his leash stretched to breaking point from his master's straining hand, barking over the prone, naked form of a young man. The patrol guard added to the din with various shouts of "Stand up!" "What do you think you're doing?" and the like. Going to investigate, the concierge stepped out into the cold night and made the necessary inquiries.
Concierge: "Erm, what's going on?"
Patrol guard: "I found this guy walking down the street in his birthday suit!"
Alsatian: "Bark bark snarl drool bark yap bark!"
Naked Man: "Auf was geht die Hölle?!!!?"
Concierge: "What did he say?"
Patrol guard: "Beats me! It's probably part of his satanic ritual."
Alsatian: "Snarl snarl bark of death I want to eat his organs!!"
Patrol Guard: "Shut up, Fluffy! HEEL!"
Naked Man: "Wo sind die Hölle ich??!!!?"
Alsatian: "Can't i just have his spleen?"
Patrol Guard: "Is this guy a guest here?"
Concierge: "Beats me, I haven't seen him around. I only started at 11PM."
Naked Man: *looking up with a pleading look in his eyes* "Entschuldigen Sie mich..."
Patrol Guard: "DO. YOU. SPEAK. ENGLISH?"
Naked Man: "Where?"
Patrol Guard: "WHAT?"
Naked Man: "What?"
Concierge: "Hang on, let me try. Are. You. Staying. Here?" *point at hotel with great animation*
Naked Man: "Ja."
Concierge: "Which. Room?"
Naked Man: "No?"
At this point, the naked, prone man looks up at the Alsatian which is still openly drooling and looking with way too much hungry enthusiasm at his lower body cavity. He looks at the security patrol guard complete with blue jump-suit, 3 kilo baton, mace, pistol and keys to every door in Sydney hanging off his pack-belt. He looks pleadingly at the concierge, and his bladder releases itself. I think that, of all situations a concierge will find himself in, this one demands the highest level of diplomacy, tact and calm.
Concierge: "Maybe he's staying here."
Patrol Guard: "Yeah, maybe he is."
Concierge: "I'll get him a towel. And i'll grab a mop and bucket while I'm there."
Some time later, the concierge discovered through a series of translatory hand gestures and complex squiggles on paper that Naked Man was indeed a guest in the hotel, and gave him a key to his room. It turns out he was a chronic sleep-walker, and really only truly woke up when he was back in the warmth of the reception. Why any person with a chronic sleep-walking problem would sleep naked is beyond the comprehension of the very highest calibre of intelligence.
The morning concierge braved the fall out the next morning, when the gentleman came down with his bags packed. The concierge, of course, has already been informed in detail of what has happened the previous night, and has mentally prepared for this encounter. He is ready to give a full refund to the guest, complimentary hotel membership for life, and the sincerest apologies from the very highest level of hotel management. And possibly a free breakfast as well, if all else fails.
Concierge: "Good MORNING sir! How can i help you?"
German Guest: "Please, I would like to check out"
Concierge: "Sir, but you are due to stay a further six days with us?"
German Guest: "Yes. I prefer to leave today."
Concierge: "May I enquire the reasons for your early departure?"
German Guest: "I had a terrible night here."
And here it comes. the Concierge steels himself, braces for impact, but must allow the guest this opportunity to express his anger. He has, of course, been completely humiliated by this experience.
Concierge: "Oh?"
German Guest: "Yes. I slept very badly. The bed is, how do you say.... klumpig?"
Concierge: "Eeerrrm, lumpy?"
German Guest: "With lumps? Like, camel?"
Concierge: "Yes, lumpy. Oh dear."
German Guest: "Ja, I cannot sleep last night. Terrible."
Concierge: "I see."
German Guest: "Will I pay this night?"
Concierge: "Last night?"
German Guest: "This night. Today."
Concierge: "Sir, I believe i can, in this case, ignore the cancellation fee."
German Guest: "That is very kind. I sleep badly, i have the strangest dreams."
Concierge: "Oh?"
German Guest: "Ja, I dreamed dogs eating me..."
The concierge life is not, from time to time, without some measure of luck.
The concierge can be assured of a few fundamental s truths when it comes to his profession.
1) A taxi is, without fail, either too late or absurdly early for a guest, no matter how earnestly you stress the importance of timeliness to the operator. This issue has been previously dealt with in section entitled Ordering a Taxi #101
2) 93% of Night Auditors sleep on the job, and 8% lie. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule. The fact that the math for this statistical data shows a 1% error further indicates that a certain percentage of Night Audit staff know very little about mathematics. This is a large concern for most hotels' accountancy departments.
3) Guests Will Complain. No matter how well groomed your staff, how well presented your rooms and how expedient your services, Guests Will Complain.
This section is solely concerned with the importance of diplomacy when receiving guest complaints. Two case studies will be examined.
Section #01 - Mentally Overcoming the "Guest Stupidity" Factor (Tautology?)
Any decent concierge knows his hotel with utmost intimacy, from roof to cellar and back again. He will know which shower heads jet water in every direction except upon the showerer. He knows which beds are lumpy. He knows which room number was used last month for a monumental booze-fest by a B-List celebrity, because he remembers cleaning the 3 litres of vomit from behind the curtains (and finding a further litre a week later between the mattresses). You ask him at any time "which room was it that has a queen-single split, city view, is non-smoking and has the leather lounge?" he will reply as fluidly as he draws air with clockwork regularity. This being the case, he often forgets that his esteemed guest is a tourist here and everything is new to him. Even the mundane task of using a telephonic apparatus takes on a new tinge with the added challenge of obtaining an outside line. A concierge will be asked the same questions over and over (and over again) and may grow somewhat jaded by the tedium of repetition, but should at all times remember his immeasurable wealth of knowledge, both local and technical, is what keeps him at the top of his class. i will now provide the first case study which displays the importance of being able to mentally deal with what is known in the industry as the Guest Error Complaint.
Case Study 1
An elderly couple, having just checked in to suite 1307, wished to phone relatives interstate to assure them of their safe arrival. The call came to reception on extension 9 as follows.
The hotel switch flashes, alerting that Suite 1307 require telephonic assistance.
Concierge: "Good evening, this is reception?"
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh! Hello! I'm just trying to contact my family..."
Concierge: "No problem sir. You will just need to dial a 0 for an outside line."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh, thank you. I'll give that a try then." *click*
A few brief moments later, the hotel switch rings again, it's gentle pulse-tone ebbing gently across the vast marble reception.
Concierge: "Good evening, this is reception?"
Elderly Gentleman: *bip bip biiip bip bip biiiip*
Concierge: "Hello? Recep..."
Elderly Gentleman: "bipbip biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip"
Concierge: "...tion?"
Elderly Gentleman: "Hello, Elly?"
Concierge: "Sir, this is hotel reception."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh. I am trying to reach my daughter."
Concierge: "Yes, sir. Please simply dial a 0 before dialling to access an outside line."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh, I see!"
Concierge: "Of course you do, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Well, thank you, I shall try that."
Concierge: "Best of luck, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Thank you again." *click*
A mere 23 seconds have passed before the hotel switch flashes again, alerting assistance required at extension 1307.
Concierge: "Good evening, this is reception?"
Elderly Gentleman: *bip bip biiip bip bip biiiip*
Concierge: "Hello? Recep..."
Elderly Gentleman: "bipbip biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip"
Concierge: "...tion?"
Elderly Gentleman: "Elly! Hello!"
Concierge: "Sir, again, you have reached reception."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh, dear me."
Concierge: "Quite, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "What am I doing wrong?"
Concierge: "If you would like to read the number to me, I can advise exactly what you need to dial."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh! I am trying to reach 555-1236"
Concierge: "In this state?"
Elderly Gentleman: "No, Victoria."
Concierge: "So we need the area code as well."
Elderly Gentleman: "We do?"
Concierge: "Yes. So You will need to dial zero, then zero three, five five..."
Elderly Gentleman: "bipbipbiiip bip Yes.. oh, yes... bip biiiip bipbipbip"
Concierge: "..five one........ Sir?"
Elderly Gentleman: "*biiiiiiip* Hello, Elly?"
Concierge: "sir, you are still speaking to me at reception. You will need to hang up and then dial that number in its entirety."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh!"
At this time, the switch alerts that the second extension in suite 1307 is dialling.
Concierge: "One moment please sir, if you could just hold. *switch lines* Good evening, reception?""
Elderly Lady: "Good evening, yes. Now, my husband is just trying to dial our daughter from the telephone in the lounge room and he seems to be having quite a bit of trouble."
Concierge: "Yes, ma'am, I'm actually just..."
Elderly Lady: "I was hoping you could give us some assistance with how to dial? Aside, she yells Donald! I have a young man on the phone here to help!"
Concierge: "Yes, I'm actually just on the phone with him now...."
Elderly Lady: "Just a moment, I'll put him on... Donald!!!"
Elderly Gentleman: "Margaret, I'm on the phone!"
Elderly Lady: "I have a young man here!"
Concierge: "Ma'am, please, if i could just..."
Elderly Lady: "He's just coming, hang on..."
Concierge: "....Lord help me."
Elderly Gentleman: "Yes hello?"
Concierge: "This is reception, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Oh, hello!"
Concierge: "I need you to hang up both telephones and dial zero, then zero three...."
Elderly Gentleman: "I'm just speaking to a young gentleman on the other line."
Concierge: "yes sir, I know. It is me."
Elderly Gentleman: "I will just go and let him know you are helping me now, shall I?"
Concierge: *teeth grind to the point of disintergration "Yes, OK, why not."
Elderly Gentleman: "Just a moment" *click*
Back to line 1.
Elderly Gentleman: "Hello?"
Concierge: "yes, sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Sorry to keep you there!"
Concierge: "Really, it's no trouble."
Elderly Gentleman: "i have a young man on the other line who is going to help me dial my daughter now!"
Concierge: "Oh, superb sir. I shall leave it with you then, shall I?"
Elderly Gentleman: "Yes, I'll get there! And thank you for all your help!"
Concierge: "I'll speak to you again shortly, sir." *click*
Back to line 2.
Elderly Gentleman: "Hello, are you still there?"
Concierge: "Yes sir."
Elderly Gentleman: "Sorry, i just had to run in from the other phone."
Concierge: "No problem sir."
Elderly Gentleman: *more than a little confused* "........Is this you still?"
Concierge: "Yes sir. Hello."
Elderly Gentleman: "Is the other gentleman there?"
Line 1 is buzzing again. 1307.
Concierge: "One moment please sir *CHANGE LINES* Good evening, reception?"
Elderly Lady: "Hello? Yes. I'd like to make a complaint. Our phone doesn't seem to be working."
Concierge: "Oh? What seems to be the trouble?"
Elderly Lady: "One moment, I'll get my husband and he can explain. DONALD!!!"
(in the background) Elderly Gentleman: "Margaret! I'm on the phone!"
You can clearly see where this is going. It went on for quite some time before a successful telephonic connection to the desired person/s was placed. This example shows not only the importance of patience when instructing on the operation of complicated hotel equipment, but the importance of being able to diligently operate your own switch between incoming calls.
The next example I will offer you is one more concerned with professionalism under pressure, where the guest has been grossly inconvenienced. In the industry these complaints are known as Property Issue Complaints.
Case Study 2
A young German traveller had arrived at the hotel from the international airport just after sunrise following an horrific 32 hour flight from Frankfurt. His room was not yet vacant, let alone clean and ready, and no other room was available. Now, check in time in any hotel (and the best of my knowledge this is to well established around the world) is two PM. Unfortunately, not much can be done. He was too tired to explore the city and spent the hours in the hotel café waiting until a room was available. A room was clean by midday at which point he checked in and, presumably, fell fast asleep.
Quite some hours pass before hell breaks loose.
The hotel and surrounding area, Sydney's Chinatown, is patrolled by night by armed patrol guards with well trained German Shepherds (Alsatian). Often the night concierge staff would make him a coffee when he drops in on his rounds at 1AM, 3AM and 5AM, just shoot the breeze. On this night, a massive amount of barking echoed down the quiet city street just outside the hotel's reception. The night concierge, curious poke his head over the desk to see a slathering hell-hound of an Alsatian, his leash stretched to breaking point from his master's straining hand, barking over the prone, naked form of a young man. The patrol guard added to the din with various shouts of "Stand up!" "What do you think you're doing?" and the like. Going to investigate, the concierge stepped out into the cold night and made the necessary inquiries.
Concierge: "Erm, what's going on?"
Patrol guard: "I found this guy walking down the street in his birthday suit!"
Alsatian: "Bark bark snarl drool bark yap bark!"
Naked Man: "Auf was geht die Hölle?!!!?"
Concierge: "What did he say?"
Patrol guard: "Beats me! It's probably part of his satanic ritual."
Alsatian: "Snarl snarl bark of death I want to eat his organs!!"
Patrol Guard: "Shut up, Fluffy! HEEL!"
Naked Man: "Wo sind die Hölle ich??!!!?"
Alsatian: "Can't i just have his spleen?"
Patrol Guard: "Is this guy a guest here?"
Concierge: "Beats me, I haven't seen him around. I only started at 11PM."
Naked Man: *looking up with a pleading look in his eyes* "Entschuldigen Sie mich..."
Patrol Guard: "DO. YOU. SPEAK. ENGLISH?"
Naked Man: "Where?"
Patrol Guard: "WHAT?"
Naked Man: "What?"
Concierge: "Hang on, let me try. Are. You. Staying. Here?" *point at hotel with great animation*
Naked Man: "Ja."
Concierge: "Which. Room?"
Naked Man: "No?"
At this point, the naked, prone man looks up at the Alsatian which is still openly drooling and looking with way too much hungry enthusiasm at his lower body cavity. He looks at the security patrol guard complete with blue jump-suit, 3 kilo baton, mace, pistol and keys to every door in Sydney hanging off his pack-belt. He looks pleadingly at the concierge, and his bladder releases itself. I think that, of all situations a concierge will find himself in, this one demands the highest level of diplomacy, tact and calm.
Concierge: "Maybe he's staying here."
Patrol Guard: "Yeah, maybe he is."
Concierge: "I'll get him a towel. And i'll grab a mop and bucket while I'm there."
Some time later, the concierge discovered through a series of translatory hand gestures and complex squiggles on paper that Naked Man was indeed a guest in the hotel, and gave him a key to his room. It turns out he was a chronic sleep-walker, and really only truly woke up when he was back in the warmth of the reception. Why any person with a chronic sleep-walking problem would sleep naked is beyond the comprehension of the very highest calibre of intelligence.
The morning concierge braved the fall out the next morning, when the gentleman came down with his bags packed. The concierge, of course, has already been informed in detail of what has happened the previous night, and has mentally prepared for this encounter. He is ready to give a full refund to the guest, complimentary hotel membership for life, and the sincerest apologies from the very highest level of hotel management. And possibly a free breakfast as well, if all else fails.
Concierge: "Good MORNING sir! How can i help you?"
German Guest: "Please, I would like to check out"
Concierge: "Sir, but you are due to stay a further six days with us?"
German Guest: "Yes. I prefer to leave today."
Concierge: "May I enquire the reasons for your early departure?"
German Guest: "I had a terrible night here."
And here it comes. the Concierge steels himself, braces for impact, but must allow the guest this opportunity to express his anger. He has, of course, been completely humiliated by this experience.
Concierge: "Oh?"
German Guest: "Yes. I slept very badly. The bed is, how do you say.... klumpig?"
Concierge: "Eeerrrm, lumpy?"
German Guest: "With lumps? Like, camel?"
Concierge: "Yes, lumpy. Oh dear."
German Guest: "Ja, I cannot sleep last night. Terrible."
Concierge: "I see."
German Guest: "Will I pay this night?"
Concierge: "Last night?"
German Guest: "This night. Today."
Concierge: "Sir, I believe i can, in this case, ignore the cancellation fee."
German Guest: "That is very kind. I sleep badly, i have the strangest dreams."
Concierge: "Oh?"
German Guest: "Ja, I dreamed dogs eating me..."
The concierge life is not, from time to time, without some measure of luck.