Empty
no control, bored, i miss the days when i always had someone to hang out with....the days when not everything was great but everything made sense....im so bored and so alone. I think i wanna go live at home just for a few months.....after everything in the past couple weeks the ways that i have made an ass out of myself and things in return that made it perfectly clear that im never going to get what i want.....i love you all and i dont mean this to any offense but i dont really have any friends (other than alicia who by default of opposing schedules and boyfriend issues i never get to see) everyone is always hanging out together and never call me and ask me to hang out unless they need another car load or they want to know where the party is...im thinking about canceling this next party just in spite. i just dont have anyone i spend time with on a regular basis or even semi regular and i know everyone is gonna say its because were all getting older and drifting and everyone is doing their own thing but thats not true i dont see any of you ever without eachother and your little boys you hang out with never thinking to call me when your the first people i call and invite when i know somnething is going down i dont know i think you can count on me and use me more than i can use you.....maybe im just being bitter and cynical but oh well fuck it