Fic: Not a girl
Title: Not a girl
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Humor, romance
Word count: about 13,000 (total), 859 (Chapter 1)
Disclaimer: I only own the plot.
Summary: Kazuya Kamenashi feels the strain of being a JE idol. He thinks girls have life easy. That was until he wakes up with girl parts.
A/N: Birthday wishes coming true was a plot of the Jim Carrey movie “Liar, Liar.” Technically, it's not mpreg because as Junno would later point out: “Technically, you're not a man. You would not be pregnant if you are. And since you are then...”
Chapter 1
“Tsk…” Kamenashi Kazuya said smirking, and then sighed. “Oka-san, I can’t…” His mother had called, inviting him to dinner but he was just too tired. He just wanted to go straight to his apartment and sleep.
He looked out the car’s window. A throng of girls were pressing their faces on the windows and slowing down the car. They could not see him behind the heavily tinted windows but they sense he was inside.
He watches their eager faces and thought how simple it must be for them. They have no qualms expressing their love for their idol. They shout it to the world and pursue no matter what. Life is easy for girls, Kazuya thought and sighed again.
“Can we get out here fast?” Kazuya asked the driver.
“I can’t run them over, can I?” the driver said, obviously not too pleased at his current task for some reason.
Kazuya chose to ignore his rudeness. His mother was still blabbing away at the other end of the phone. “Oka-san…I wasn’t talking to you…no, I don’t mean I don’t want to talk to you…”
“I think maybe you should get out of the car and deal with them,” the driver suggested, irritated at how he can only manage to drive at a snail’s pace.
“Are you crazy?” Kazuya said to the driver who obviously has no idea what being mobbed by fangirls means. Then to his phone said, “No…not you, oka-san….” Persistent screams penetrated the car.
Kazuya felt very tired. He just wanted to go home and be alone for the rest of the night. Maybe even for the rest of his life. “Oka-san, I’m tired. You know my life is not as easy as yours…” Kazuya said, unable to hide the slight irritation in his voice.
The other end suddenly went silent and Kazuya felt guilty. But that is true, he thought. His mother’s life is easy. She just had to stay home and do domestic stuff. Every so often, she would pester him and his brothers to come for dinner. How difficult can that be Kazuya thought to himself. “Oka-san…”
The fans finally let go, clearing the way. He heard his mother's sad voice mumble something then the line went dead. Kazuya was struck silent for a while then muttered to himself, “It’s my birthday?” The car sped away.
♡♡♡♡♡
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!”
No way, Kazuya thought. He took a deep breath, forced himself to smile and stepped inside his living room.
“Happy birthday, Kazu-kun!” Tanaka Koki said, stepping out from the group of well-wishers.
“You shouldn’t have,” Kazuya said.
“Of course I should,” said Koki as he hugged his friend. “You're my best friend.”
“No…I mean you SHOULD NOT HAVE,” Kazuya softly mumbled to Koki between gritted teeth though he flashed a wider smile at his other guests. Koki pulled away and eyed Kazuya quizzically. The birthday boy walked up towards the other guests.
Koki watched Kazuya put up a happy face the whole night. He knew happy is the last thing Kazuya felt that night. His friend had been getting more and more cold and detached. Even during their television shows, when he thinks he is outside the camera’s range, Kazuya would space out. World-weary, Koki thought the term that would best describe his best friend.
Just as Kazuya was poised to blow out the candles on his cake, the door opened. Akanishi Jin came walking in with a girl in tow. “Happy birthday, Kamenashi. Sorry I’m late,” Jin said, wide grin on his face.
“Thanks, Akanishi,” Kazuya said, glanced at the girl Jin was with and forced himself to smile. He looked back at the candles on the cake. He was thoughtful for a couple of seconds. Then he sighed, closed his eyes and blew out the candles, eliciting cheers from his guests.
♡♡♡♡♡
As the night stretched long and the merriment getting notches higher, Kazuya found himself getting more and more suffocated. Seeing that everyone seem to be able to entertain themselves without any help from him, Kazuya took his coat and sneaked away.
Just my luck, Kazuya thought when he found Jin smoking by the staircase.
“Where are you going?” Jin asked when he noticed Kazuya.
“Out,” Kazuya replied tersely, not even looking at Jin.
“Why?” Jin asked.
“I need air.”
Jin was quiet for a while, and then asked, “Are you okay?”
Kazuya scoffed. “I’m leaving my birthday party to go god-knows-where. You think I’m okay?” he said without bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.
Jin shrugged. “I was just asking. No need to get your panties in a knot.”
The comment somehow angered Kazuya. “I do not wear panties! I am not a girl!” he yelled and finally looked at Jin. When he saw how bewildered the other man was at his reaction, Kazuya went red, embarrassed at his irrational outburst. He stepped back but his foot faltered.
The last thing he saw was the sudden expression of horror on Jin's face. He heard his name being called as he felt himself plunging. Then everything went dark.
Chapter