Fic: Not A Girl (Epilogue)
Title: Not a girl
Rating: PG-14
Genre: Humor, romance
Word count: about 13,000 (total), 363 (Epilogue)
Disclaimer: I only own the plot.
Summary: Kazuya Kamenashi feels the strain of being a JE idol. He thinks girls have life easy. That was until he wakes up with girl parts.
[A/N: Birthday wishes coming true was a plot of the Jim Carrey movie “Liar, Liar.” ]
[A/N: This epilogue is totally unnecessary but I wanted to write it anyway. I warn those who are sensitive about Kazuya because the epilogue not-so-subtly implies on something very controversial about him. This is just for fun. I completely and totally love Kazuya and everything about him.]
EPILOGUE
Yamashita Tomohisa looked at the baby. “You should name her Akira.”
“No goddamn way!” Jin said. “She's Butterfly...Akanishi Butterfly.”
Kazuya and Yamapi grimaced. “No way I'm naming my daughter an insect. She's Kizuna. Kamenashi Kizuna and we'd call her Na-chan,” Kazuya said.
“You are so gay, you two,” Yamapi said. “You should just name her Ayase.”
The two parents abruptly turned their heads towards their friend. “Why would we do that?” Jin asked.
“You didn't hear?” Yamapi asked. The two shook their heads. Yamashita sighed. “The official JE statement is that Kazuya adopted a baby. The unofficial statement JE is systematically leaking is that the baby is Kazuya's child by Ayase Haruka.”
“What?” Jin asked, incredulous.
“It's the only way they can explain - unofficially - why Kazuya's baby looks like Jin.”
“Oh,” Jin said and looked at his child again.
“But she doesn't look like Jin,” Kazuya protested. “She looks like me.”
Jin watched his daughter. “She does have bushy eyebrows.”
“We can fix that,” Kazuya offered.
“Don't you go near our daughter with tweezers!”
“She has my lips,” Kazuya said, smiling.
“Collagen implants are not hereditary,” Jin deadpanned.
Kazuya's eyes narrowed at Jin. “Well, she definitely doesn't have your stiff upper lip!” Kazuya retorted. “And anyway, she got my nose.”
“Which nose?” Jin asked.
“What do you mean which nose? She only has one.”
“I mean, which of your nose? Before or after?” Jin asked, sniggering.
But Kazuya wasn't laughing. “You do know that I can hold off sex for a year.”
At that, Jin stopped laughing and turned serious. “You know, our baby - Kamenashi Kizuna - is so beautiful only because she takes after her mother.”
Kazuya raised a more displeased eyebrow. “One year, Jin. I can even do two.”
“I meant, father,” Jin corrected, panic in his voice. “Beautiful, beautiful father. Gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous! Right, Pi?”
“Pussy-whipped,” Yamashita softly muttered at his blubbering best friend.
“I don't have a pussy,” Kazuya said, turning his cold stare at Yamapi.
“Kazuya-whipped then,” Yamashita corrected. Kazuya smiled at him, pleased.
Jin continued with his repentant litany. “Kazuya's got the most beautiful skin...and plump squeezable ass....silky, silky throat..hell, even your gums are beautiful...”
The End