I think you have the makings of a good introductory sequence here, but you'd benefit from taking a closer look at your spelling. As well as things like confusing their/there/they're and your/you're, there are a lot of wrong words here - they're real words, but not the ones you want. It looks as if you've let your spell-checker autocorrect them, but I may be wrong. If there's a spelling you're not sure of, always check it in a dictionary to be sure you're using the word you meant to. Character name spellings also need some corrections: it's 'Lessa' and 'Brekke' you're after. Sorry if that sounds a little condescending, but it's a simple thing to fix and would make the story hugely better in an instant.
Okay, I'll use something more noticeable. Then "...." I know that a lot of explaining is going to have to happen as logically Lessa and everybody else on Pern is going to have a lot of questions. The deep space asteroid mining was not mentioned in The Rowen books ( could be something gleamed from the ship books but the point of this story is to tie together two or more of her worlds) but I had to have a reason for her to travel threw the area and a mining ship that spends decades far from the main lines would have to be generational - she will also explain what happened to the ship /colony she was born on. I will also explain that she has never experienced more then- .6 or - .7 gravity and most likely is used to about _ .5 G's. space stations and ships would keep low gravity for a lot of reasons - mainly because it is harder and takes more energy to have earth normal gravity.
I also have plans to have F'lessan to find her thou as you can expect she is not in good shape at this point in the story - right side all broken up.
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I know that a lot of explaining is going to have to happen as logically Lessa and everybody else on Pern is going to have a lot of questions. The deep space asteroid mining was not mentioned in The Rowen books ( could be something gleamed from the ship books but the point of this story is to tie together two or more of her worlds) but I had to have a reason for her to travel threw the area and a mining ship that spends decades far from the main lines would have to be generational - she will also explain what happened to the ship /colony she was born on.
I will also explain that she has never experienced more then- .6 or - .7 gravity and most likely is used to about _ .5 G's.
space stations and ships would keep low gravity for a lot of reasons - mainly because it is harder and takes more energy to have earth normal gravity.
I also have plans to have F'lessan to find her thou as you can expect she is not in good shape at this point in the story - right side all broken up.
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