poor little fishie!!!
a
very tiring day....but i have a story to tell. There is this guy with a
cute goatee who is being very nice to me. harhar... i dont know what he
is up to. but i dont care. i like the gestures. its sweet and i cant
help but smile. i try to maintain a look full of composure but deep
inside im like goo. haha, mushy..super! anyway, its friday, end of the
week. hmmm.what to do? what to do? (besides, emptying my clothes
hamper) sheesh, it reeks of sweat and human scent . yea, and i dont
like my own smell harhar! well, i could go and watch a movie with
khail... meet the fockers maybe? or i could go home to paranaque and
watch dvd nonstop.. or stay in the dorm and sleep all day (which
is by the way very tempting) at least i have the whole friday night to
think about it.
you told me how you felt
i didnt answer back
you asked me what was wrong
yet my lips remain sealed
you see, its not that i dont love you
love is too less of an emotion to describe how i feel
i dont love you
i live you
living like this is like living a big big lie. i couldnt tell him my feelings because even i dont know what is inside my heart. i try to find the right emotion to describe what i feel. but it remains elusive. i dont want to rush things. i want the moment to be perfect. i dont want anybody to cry. i dont want our ties broken. they say i should live for the moment but how can i live in it thinking that someday that moment would be the greatest mistake i have ever made. wouldnt a moment of joy compensate for a year of suffering? hearts can be broken to pieces but they can be glued back to its original shape. sadly, even though you glue it back, there will always be a chip missing. and that missing chip will be a hole in your heart. a void that forever will haunt you until someone, someone who will love you for who you are will be able to fill that void...and then you will be complete...
my friends asked me how i felt for him. i told them the truth, i dont know. im in a limbo. i dont want to give him hope. hope that will end to nothing, zilch, zero. but i dont want to end the moment before clarifying my true feelings. i dont want to regret my decisions. i dont want to hurt myself. but someday, someone will get hurt. but not now.
the truth, i feel his sincerity but until now, i cant feel the effort. not that i want to be treated like a princess but every woman should feel special even once in a while. it gives me a feeling that im still important to that person. here i go again. i sound very selfish. for a relationship to work, it should be two-way and not a one-sided affair. its like im demanding everything from him and i dont give anything in return. selfish, very very selfish....
anyway, this has been way to long and boring... *sigh*
you told me how you felt
i didnt answer back
you asked me what was wrong
yet my lips remain sealed
you see, its not that i dont love you
love is too less of an emotion to describe how i feel
i dont love you
i live you
living like this is like living a big big lie. i couldnt tell him my feelings because even i dont know what is inside my heart. i try to find the right emotion to describe what i feel. but it remains elusive. i dont want to rush things. i want the moment to be perfect. i dont want anybody to cry. i dont want our ties broken. they say i should live for the moment but how can i live in it thinking that someday that moment would be the greatest mistake i have ever made. wouldnt a moment of joy compensate for a year of suffering? hearts can be broken to pieces but they can be glued back to its original shape. sadly, even though you glue it back, there will always be a chip missing. and that missing chip will be a hole in your heart. a void that forever will haunt you until someone, someone who will love you for who you are will be able to fill that void...and then you will be complete...
my friends asked me how i felt for him. i told them the truth, i dont know. im in a limbo. i dont want to give him hope. hope that will end to nothing, zilch, zero. but i dont want to end the moment before clarifying my true feelings. i dont want to regret my decisions. i dont want to hurt myself. but someday, someone will get hurt. but not now.
the truth, i feel his sincerity but until now, i cant feel the effort. not that i want to be treated like a princess but every woman should feel special even once in a while. it gives me a feeling that im still important to that person. here i go again. i sound very selfish. for a relationship to work, it should be two-way and not a one-sided affair. its like im demanding everything from him and i dont give anything in return. selfish, very very selfish....
anyway, this has been way to long and boring... *sigh*