(no subject)
well it has been a very long time since an update..
where do i begin?
i guess i will start with my life is pretty good, i mean it should be great, i am getting along with my family better then ever, i am getting close to people at pigeon forge, michael is great, but still yet something is missing. i am guessing it is all the things from my past, all the people who read my journal, HANNAH, HANNAH, HANNAH, did i mention hannah? but her, that is a different story. a story that makes me sad. i suppose i deserve not talking to any of you, i mean i screwed up big, but i dont know i guess i was hoping for it all to be forgotten, but i knew that wouldnt happen. and i am also scared to contact you guys, because i am scared of what your reactions will be. i went to chuch last sunday, and i felt very awkward and out of place, and i have never felt that way around hannah. i suppose all good things come to an end right? well i for one sure hope not. i miss you all.
but moving on.
hannah. i dont know whats going on with us. i hear you are mad at me once more about something that happened in the past, and i thought we worked this out. but ya know whatever. hannah i swear i told two people and i thought you knew that, and i thought you somewhat understand why. i mean that was a lot of pressure on me, i had no clue what to do about the whole situation. i was honestly scared. i am sorry i told them. and i really swear i didnt tell anyone else, i will admit that if they said that they didnt think it was true, i would agree, because i was so concerned with them liking me. and that hurts me more then anything. to know that me being cool was more important to me then another persons feelings, i am truly sorry. and hannah, you are my best friend, and i really miss you. i would call you, but hey i am scared, and i guess i figure whats the point, we talk for one day, then drift back apart. i love you and i am always here for you always, i hope you know that.
moving on again.
i am playing basketball again. this makes me very happy i missed it more then i ever thought i would. i actually have a game tomorrow. i am excited. i hope i do good.
moving on a third time.
guys i guess i am done. i love all of you and i am sorry for all of my mistakes in the past, but i am a better person, all of it made me stronger, i mean how could losing people you love, people who loved you, people you got in trouble with, people you got in trouble for, people who had your back, people who you trusted and trusted you, people who you werent afraid to be yourself around, i mean how could messing up and disappointing them so bad to the point that they dont want to talk to you anymore not make you stop and think about what kind of a person you are. but its better now. i am not sure how to explain the change in me, but i do know its a good one. but yeah i miss you guys, and know that i love you, and i will be there for all of you, no matter what you need.
where do i begin?
i guess i will start with my life is pretty good, i mean it should be great, i am getting along with my family better then ever, i am getting close to people at pigeon forge, michael is great, but still yet something is missing. i am guessing it is all the things from my past, all the people who read my journal, HANNAH, HANNAH, HANNAH, did i mention hannah? but her, that is a different story. a story that makes me sad. i suppose i deserve not talking to any of you, i mean i screwed up big, but i dont know i guess i was hoping for it all to be forgotten, but i knew that wouldnt happen. and i am also scared to contact you guys, because i am scared of what your reactions will be. i went to chuch last sunday, and i felt very awkward and out of place, and i have never felt that way around hannah. i suppose all good things come to an end right? well i for one sure hope not. i miss you all.
but moving on.
hannah. i dont know whats going on with us. i hear you are mad at me once more about something that happened in the past, and i thought we worked this out. but ya know whatever. hannah i swear i told two people and i thought you knew that, and i thought you somewhat understand why. i mean that was a lot of pressure on me, i had no clue what to do about the whole situation. i was honestly scared. i am sorry i told them. and i really swear i didnt tell anyone else, i will admit that if they said that they didnt think it was true, i would agree, because i was so concerned with them liking me. and that hurts me more then anything. to know that me being cool was more important to me then another persons feelings, i am truly sorry. and hannah, you are my best friend, and i really miss you. i would call you, but hey i am scared, and i guess i figure whats the point, we talk for one day, then drift back apart. i love you and i am always here for you always, i hope you know that.
moving on again.
i am playing basketball again. this makes me very happy i missed it more then i ever thought i would. i actually have a game tomorrow. i am excited. i hope i do good.
moving on a third time.
guys i guess i am done. i love all of you and i am sorry for all of my mistakes in the past, but i am a better person, all of it made me stronger, i mean how could losing people you love, people who loved you, people you got in trouble with, people you got in trouble for, people who had your back, people who you trusted and trusted you, people who you werent afraid to be yourself around, i mean how could messing up and disappointing them so bad to the point that they dont want to talk to you anymore not make you stop and think about what kind of a person you are. but its better now. i am not sure how to explain the change in me, but i do know its a good one. but yeah i miss you guys, and know that i love you, and i will be there for all of you, no matter what you need.