MoMMy
I miss my mommy. She is the greatest mommy ever. I miss how I'll be like, "Mom, cook me some food." But she doesn't cook, because she's not like June Cleaver. She's more like... Sharon Osbourne. But, I still love her. And I wouldn't want a June Cleaver for a mom. Because my mom makes pretty awesome Bagel Bites, and I bet June Cleaver doesn't even know what Bagel Bites are.
And I love my mom because she said we could smoke some weed together before Thanksgiving dinner so we could eat more turkey and mashed potatoes. And that would probably be pretty awesome because I really love turkey and mashed potatoes. I also love the way my mom tells me to go away because I'm annoying. And how I call her because no one here will listen to me babble and, again, she says, "You're annoying." And I am pretty annoying. But she makes me laugh because she is pretty crazy. And my family is dysfunctional, but I love them. But I love my mommy the most, because she is the most dysfunctional, but the most fun.
And my mommy is going to get a tattoo with me over Thanksgiving break. What kind of mom does that? Only the cool ones! And what's even cooler is she's going to pay for my tattoo! Aw, thanks, Mommy. And I also love how I tell Mom that I need a laptop and she just tells me to shut up. Because I really do need a laptop, but she does not take me seriously. And then I say, "Mom, it's time to take me seriously." And she says, "You're annoying." And then I still love her anyway, because I probably don't NEED the laptop. I probably just WANT it. But I know that if I really want it, I will get it because my mommy has made me a spoiled brat.
I love my mommy because she has a crazy boyfriend like Slappy who makes me cheese trays and macaroni and cheese with crumbs on top. And I love her because she has crazy friends like Aunt Krissy and King Richard. And they are very crazy. Especially Aunt Krissy... when the Colts are playing on TV. And I love my mommy because she does the happy dance with Aunt Krissy when the Colts score a touchdown.
I love my mommy because I can tell her anything. Like when I drink, or that I've smoked weed, or when I have sex, or when I've gotten totally hammered and spent half the night asleep on the bathroom floor. I love my mommy because she lets me do these bad things and she doesn't judge me because I'm still BaBy GiRL.
I love Mommy because she watches the cooking channel all the time even though she has ABSOLUTELY no intentions of ever cooking anything. I love how she loves Racheal Ray and Emeril. And I love how she watches Paula Deen with me because Paula Deen is pretty awesome.
And mostly I love my mommy because she sends me cards that say things like, "I know you don't make wise choices, but I believe in you anyway."
And I love my mom because she said we could smoke some weed together before Thanksgiving dinner so we could eat more turkey and mashed potatoes. And that would probably be pretty awesome because I really love turkey and mashed potatoes. I also love the way my mom tells me to go away because I'm annoying. And how I call her because no one here will listen to me babble and, again, she says, "You're annoying." And I am pretty annoying. But she makes me laugh because she is pretty crazy. And my family is dysfunctional, but I love them. But I love my mommy the most, because she is the most dysfunctional, but the most fun.
And my mommy is going to get a tattoo with me over Thanksgiving break. What kind of mom does that? Only the cool ones! And what's even cooler is she's going to pay for my tattoo! Aw, thanks, Mommy. And I also love how I tell Mom that I need a laptop and she just tells me to shut up. Because I really do need a laptop, but she does not take me seriously. And then I say, "Mom, it's time to take me seriously." And she says, "You're annoying." And then I still love her anyway, because I probably don't NEED the laptop. I probably just WANT it. But I know that if I really want it, I will get it because my mommy has made me a spoiled brat.
I love my mommy because she has a crazy boyfriend like Slappy who makes me cheese trays and macaroni and cheese with crumbs on top. And I love her because she has crazy friends like Aunt Krissy and King Richard. And they are very crazy. Especially Aunt Krissy... when the Colts are playing on TV. And I love my mommy because she does the happy dance with Aunt Krissy when the Colts score a touchdown.
I love my mommy because I can tell her anything. Like when I drink, or that I've smoked weed, or when I have sex, or when I've gotten totally hammered and spent half the night asleep on the bathroom floor. I love my mommy because she lets me do these bad things and she doesn't judge me because I'm still BaBy GiRL.
I love Mommy because she watches the cooking channel all the time even though she has ABSOLUTELY no intentions of ever cooking anything. I love how she loves Racheal Ray and Emeril. And I love how she watches Paula Deen with me because Paula Deen is pretty awesome.
And mostly I love my mommy because she sends me cards that say things like, "I know you don't make wise choices, but I believe in you anyway."