What went on in the last two sessions of D&D
Previously:
They have destroyed a city, accidentally freed evil gods, restored the balance of life and death, crossed dimensions, built a school, fought a thousand evil monks, laughed in the face of death (or anything else that has a face), fought the Mage King, and creeped out a Queen. They are:
Toridin The Dwarf who is very bravely continuing his quest to drink all the ale, and recently got a tattoo while passed out. Nobody knows what the ghost who follows Toridin around drinks, probably spirits.
Celcia The Scholar (a changeling, but probably not evil) who drools over magic playing cards from a certain well-feared deck, and recently went dress shopping with Erika. Changelings arn't evil by nature, it's a lifestyle choice.
Princess Erika who has had a set of custom bras made so that she can smuggle her magic orbs into high-society balls, and recently realised that she needs a more private place to practice bra-casting.
Felora The Just who got put inside a gem, then got stolen, then got taken to another dimension. Felora used to be a dwarf, now she is some sort of magic relic gem thing. Probably. Anyway, her room is full of snakes.
Orien The Storm King who assures the party that in his culture filling somebody's bed with snakes is a sign of friendship, and offers scorpions-of-remorse in our boots if he has offended anybody. If we don't like snakes he has lightning to offer us - he is The Storm King you know.
Balazar The Dragonborn (player in Afganistan) who continues to be an unholy abomination haunting the cellars.
Arris The Shardmind Monk (player in Afganistan) who continues his epic quest to … do something, something involving fists. Hi-yah! Punch! Kick! Anger! Shards!
And finally and importantly Novakri The Holy who sadly shakes her head in dismay at the rest of the party while continuing to heal them and provide a voice of reason.
Freshly back from yet another semi-successful quest the party attended a royal function, danced a lot, drank a bit, and drank a bit more. Then they bickered, drank, and danced some more. Finally they almost started a fight and then drank and bickered and went back to their mansion.
---
The party were awoken the following morning by their Drow maidservant, who told Orien that some city guards were at the door. Orien went to the front door to find a pair of guards who were accompanying a summoner who served Orien (and the entire party) with a court summons. The party are to appear before a magistrates court on various charges to do with their trading company and the shoddy goods that they are selling.
The party decided to head down to the Girga city docks to see what exactly is up with 'their' trading company and the shoddy goods that 'they' are selling. As they strode through the dusty market they were met with cheers as the populace recognized the great heroes of song - but one beggar spat at them! The beggar then proceeded to throw camel dung and insult them at great length. The party listened with patience to his tale of how they had attacked his village of Whitehaven with the intent to take slaves and how he fled to the City of Girga having lost his livelyhood when they took his cattle and burnt his farm. The party then quizzed him on the off-chance that they had done that and forgotten, but no one could remember a village called Whitehaven (though they had burnt villages they cheerfully assured the poor fellow that his village was not one of the ones they had 'heroically' raised).
At the docks they found a gang of mercenaries hanging around the Trihorn Behemoth, and asking about Twyla Hellborn (their business partner) they were shown inside the long narrow warehouse. At the back they found Twyla who at first seemed not to recognize them but them warmly welcomed them into her office. On their way through the warehouse they had seen some of the shoddy goods - quite a lot of them in fact. They raised the subject with Twyla who suggested they talk to the mercenaries that are supposed to be guarding the goods while in transport. As they walked back through the warehouse they were surprised when Twyla knocked down boxes and ran for the mercenaries.
The party then noticed that the mercenaries seemed to be some sort of knock-off version of the party - even down to having a silica-based monk and a sorcerer with a mullet. A short but intense fight followed, with Twyla and her mercenaries attempting to escape the party. The party chased off Twyla and her friends, and the knock-off party escaped with the Trihorn and the wagon leaving some of it's members behind.
While Toridin The Dwarf took a captured fake 'Novakri' to see the magistrates the party searched the warehouse and thanks to Celcia's scholarship managed to uncover documents revealing that Twyla is not in fact who she seems to be, and is a changeling who has taken the place of the real Twyla. The party decided to take this evidence to the magistrate - especially as this evidence shows that the fake party may have been indulging in a spot of slave taking. Even more shocking (at least to Orien the Sorcerer) is the fact that fake-Twyla had not given the party their full 40% cut from all these nefarious activities.
At the magistrate they found a delegation from Longweal claiming that the party had stolen from the Longweal treasury. The party were shown into the magistrate's cells until the magistrate had a chance to look over the evidence that the party has provided.
… days passed in the cells and from the demeanor of the guards it appeared that the player characters are being blamed for their dopplegangers' wrongdoings. The party are not held by Captain Creya of the city guard (whom they like and trust) but by one of the city magistrates who has a portion of the city guard seemingly loyal to him. Worse, it may be that their imprisonment is giving the noble houses time to move against The Queen. The party begins to plan an escape and one morning receive a scroll tucked into their prison gruel - a Teleport scroll sent by Erika (confidant of The Queen and only party member not to end up in the cells).
Using the teleport scroll the party (minus Erika) finds themselves far away from the city near the Iron Hills. Erika apparently knew of an old disused teleport circle and sent them to that (presumably because the circle in the royal palace is too closely watched). The party had a choice - trek back to the city and slip past the gates in disguise to deal with their names being besmirched there, or find evidence outside the city to bring back.
The party headed to the river to wash and found a boat with their gear in it and a note from the handmaiden Padme (a pseudonym of Erika's that she uses when needing to be in disguise). The corrupt magistrate has destroyed any evidence that the party is innocent of the various charges against them thus removing The Queen's protectors from the city, and so Erika is staying in the city and using her magic and cunning to keep The Queen on the throne and foil assassination attempts.
The party decided to head into the Iron Hills and find the slave trader who the fake party were selling slaves to. On the way they stop off at Toridin's home town and discover some disterbing information - trade from the West has stopped, and the last travellers to come through told tales of The Thunder Lord clans of Orcs uniting and forming a horde that is marching towards Girga. With the noble houses squabbling and the city guard apparently split in it's loyalties the city is defenseless. The depleated Royal Army might be able to stop the Orc horde but it is currently deployed in the Eastern Marches keeping peace between the river traders and the serpent-people who live in the marshland surrounding the river Kesh. Worse - it is said that the player characters are leading the Orc Horde! Whoever is going to the trouble of dragging the party's name through the mud really hates the party!
At this point the party sat down over a tankard of dwarven ale or two and tried to work out what is going on. They are responsible for the destruction of a large part of The Empire of The Unconquered Sun, so maybe it is the Drow and the Tieflings - but it seems out of character for The Empire who deal with their enemies either via assassination or direct assaults featuring Drider shock-troops and Drow archers. Who else. Then it hits them - a while back Balazar (the dragonborn former head of the Temple Guard of The Basilica of Bahumet) discovered that a hidden drinking establishment that the party had ended up in was a 'fey bar' and went nuts - kicking over tables, driving out the customers, taking the valuables of the establishment and finally calling in his former underlings to pull the place down and burn it. Other party members saw undisguised Changelings there and figured out that the bar was a front for the criminal organization of Changelings known in whispers as The Trifecta. It was The Trifecta that operated openly in The Empire - that was following Twyla (their sworn enemy) - and who could have planned a revenge this big. Twyla had been working against The Trifecta for some time and the party accidentally uncovering their Girga operation and completely smashing it on a whim and then joining up with Twyla has put them on the Trifecta's list of people to die. However, the party has been off-world recently (adventuring in the Feywild) and lacking any way to find the party the Trifecta just decided to ruin everything the party holds dear.
The party then uncovered a new piece of information - people drinking from the river Shale are getting really sick. The Shale feeds into the mighty Kesh river which in turn supplies water to Girga and from there the whole kingdom of Tarakesh! If the Orcs attack a sick city they will win for sure.
The party set out at once to find the slaver who the fake party had been trading with and following tracks in the wilds and directions in fake-Twyla's journal found the fabled Hunchback Slaver. Hidden in undergrowth nearby they listened to the loathsome Hunchback haggle with to two buyers over the price of a pair of slaves - slaves taken from Whitehaven. The party learned quite a bit of information by not immediately charging in.
The buyers work for a wizard called 'Dymaxion' who lives in a fortress at the head of the river Shale.
It is the wizard's experiments that are poisoning the river.
The wizard is using the slaves in his experiments.
The wizard traded his help to the Orc Horde in exchange for certain rare components.
There is an area of land before the wizard's lair that they call “The Forest of Slime”
It was the knock-off version of the party that united the Orcs and encouraged them to attack Girga, apparently using the party's own reputation to scare the Orcs into banding together.
The party decided that they had heard enough and proceeded to serve up justice Hero Style (apparently “Hero Style” involves a lot of crotch-kicking and lightning bolts to the crotch and general crotch violation).
Freeing the slaves (who also had some Hero Style justice to visit upon the Hunchback) they found the proof that they are innocent of all charges - the slaves can identify the party as not the ones who attacked Whitehaven (and thus not the ones who had been shipping in shoddy goods to Girga). Together with the Hunchback, the buyers, and the Hunchback's records they should be entirely exonerated and thus able to show their faces in Girga and rally the city against the Orcs.
The party split up, with the bulk of the party taking the freed slaves and captured slavers back to Toridin's home town for rapid transport to Captain Creya in Girga. Toridin and Celcia split off and headed up-river to blaze a trail for the party so that they can find the mysterious Dymaxion more quickly. They figure that with Celcia's magic horse the two can travel ahead into The Forest of Slime and then report back.
Here's how the report will probably go if written by Toridin:
3pm-5pm: followed river to waterfall. Lots of slime dripping from trees.
6pm: moved parallel to river until ruins in clearing encountered, decided to sleep there.
7pm: dusk, saw movement.
7.01pm: SLIMES!
7.02pm: Won fight against slimes. Campsite unfortunately eaten. Decided to chase slimes into forest to recover camping gear and enact retribution.
7.03pm: MORE SLIMES!
7.04pm: Lantern also eaten, fight won against slimes. Decided to chase slimes into forest.
7.05pm: MORE SLIMES!
7.10pm: Have decided to spend night awake perched atop ruins where slimes can not get to us. Most of our campsite has been eaten.
4am: Slimes still here, sun rising. Whole clearing one huge heaving mass of slimes. Hope they go away soon.
4.15am: Slimes still here. Sun is up. Discovered that slimes have eaten all our food, and most of my ale.
5am: Slimes gone. Now see how area got it's name. Decide to sleep, very tired.
11am: Gathered up our scattered and half-dissolved belongings. Food all gone. Thankfully cask of Dwarfish ale that magically refills is still intact.
1pm: Lunch: Ale.
5pm: Saw movement up ahead.
5.10pm: Slime-maidens ambushed us with bows and crossbows, but we chased them off. They left behind an intriguing bag.
5.20pm: Bag was filled with explosives. Slime-maidens had not retreated as far as we had thought. Think slime-maidens have gone now. Have decided to not press ahead. Arrows hurt. So do explosions.
7.10pm: Have spent some time running away from slimes. Have decided to spend another cold night perched atop ruins. Food still all gone. Magic cask of Dwarfish ale still intact. If my corpse is found frozen atop a stone wall in the middle of nowhere know that I died doing what I love - drinking Dwarfish ale.
Here's how the report will probably go if written by Celcia:
Dwarf drunk. Slimes everywhere. Still no sign of the Deck of Many Things.
They have destroyed a city, accidentally freed evil gods, restored the balance of life and death, crossed dimensions, built a school, fought a thousand evil monks, laughed in the face of death (or anything else that has a face), fought the Mage King, and creeped out a Queen. They are:
Toridin The Dwarf who is very bravely continuing his quest to drink all the ale, and recently got a tattoo while passed out. Nobody knows what the ghost who follows Toridin around drinks, probably spirits.
Celcia The Scholar (a changeling, but probably not evil) who drools over magic playing cards from a certain well-feared deck, and recently went dress shopping with Erika. Changelings arn't evil by nature, it's a lifestyle choice.
Princess Erika who has had a set of custom bras made so that she can smuggle her magic orbs into high-society balls, and recently realised that she needs a more private place to practice bra-casting.
Felora The Just who got put inside a gem, then got stolen, then got taken to another dimension. Felora used to be a dwarf, now she is some sort of magic relic gem thing. Probably. Anyway, her room is full of snakes.
Orien The Storm King who assures the party that in his culture filling somebody's bed with snakes is a sign of friendship, and offers scorpions-of-remorse in our boots if he has offended anybody. If we don't like snakes he has lightning to offer us - he is The Storm King you know.
Balazar The Dragonborn (player in Afganistan) who continues to be an unholy abomination haunting the cellars.
Arris The Shardmind Monk (player in Afganistan) who continues his epic quest to … do something, something involving fists. Hi-yah! Punch! Kick! Anger! Shards!
And finally and importantly Novakri The Holy who sadly shakes her head in dismay at the rest of the party while continuing to heal them and provide a voice of reason.
Freshly back from yet another semi-successful quest the party attended a royal function, danced a lot, drank a bit, and drank a bit more. Then they bickered, drank, and danced some more. Finally they almost started a fight and then drank and bickered and went back to their mansion.
---
The party were awoken the following morning by their Drow maidservant, who told Orien that some city guards were at the door. Orien went to the front door to find a pair of guards who were accompanying a summoner who served Orien (and the entire party) with a court summons. The party are to appear before a magistrates court on various charges to do with their trading company and the shoddy goods that they are selling.
The party decided to head down to the Girga city docks to see what exactly is up with 'their' trading company and the shoddy goods that 'they' are selling. As they strode through the dusty market they were met with cheers as the populace recognized the great heroes of song - but one beggar spat at them! The beggar then proceeded to throw camel dung and insult them at great length. The party listened with patience to his tale of how they had attacked his village of Whitehaven with the intent to take slaves and how he fled to the City of Girga having lost his livelyhood when they took his cattle and burnt his farm. The party then quizzed him on the off-chance that they had done that and forgotten, but no one could remember a village called Whitehaven (though they had burnt villages they cheerfully assured the poor fellow that his village was not one of the ones they had 'heroically' raised).
At the docks they found a gang of mercenaries hanging around the Trihorn Behemoth, and asking about Twyla Hellborn (their business partner) they were shown inside the long narrow warehouse. At the back they found Twyla who at first seemed not to recognize them but them warmly welcomed them into her office. On their way through the warehouse they had seen some of the shoddy goods - quite a lot of them in fact. They raised the subject with Twyla who suggested they talk to the mercenaries that are supposed to be guarding the goods while in transport. As they walked back through the warehouse they were surprised when Twyla knocked down boxes and ran for the mercenaries.
The party then noticed that the mercenaries seemed to be some sort of knock-off version of the party - even down to having a silica-based monk and a sorcerer with a mullet. A short but intense fight followed, with Twyla and her mercenaries attempting to escape the party. The party chased off Twyla and her friends, and the knock-off party escaped with the Trihorn and the wagon leaving some of it's members behind.
While Toridin The Dwarf took a captured fake 'Novakri' to see the magistrates the party searched the warehouse and thanks to Celcia's scholarship managed to uncover documents revealing that Twyla is not in fact who she seems to be, and is a changeling who has taken the place of the real Twyla. The party decided to take this evidence to the magistrate - especially as this evidence shows that the fake party may have been indulging in a spot of slave taking. Even more shocking (at least to Orien the Sorcerer) is the fact that fake-Twyla had not given the party their full 40% cut from all these nefarious activities.
At the magistrate they found a delegation from Longweal claiming that the party had stolen from the Longweal treasury. The party were shown into the magistrate's cells until the magistrate had a chance to look over the evidence that the party has provided.
… days passed in the cells and from the demeanor of the guards it appeared that the player characters are being blamed for their dopplegangers' wrongdoings. The party are not held by Captain Creya of the city guard (whom they like and trust) but by one of the city magistrates who has a portion of the city guard seemingly loyal to him. Worse, it may be that their imprisonment is giving the noble houses time to move against The Queen. The party begins to plan an escape and one morning receive a scroll tucked into their prison gruel - a Teleport scroll sent by Erika (confidant of The Queen and only party member not to end up in the cells).
Using the teleport scroll the party (minus Erika) finds themselves far away from the city near the Iron Hills. Erika apparently knew of an old disused teleport circle and sent them to that (presumably because the circle in the royal palace is too closely watched). The party had a choice - trek back to the city and slip past the gates in disguise to deal with their names being besmirched there, or find evidence outside the city to bring back.
The party headed to the river to wash and found a boat with their gear in it and a note from the handmaiden Padme (a pseudonym of Erika's that she uses when needing to be in disguise). The corrupt magistrate has destroyed any evidence that the party is innocent of the various charges against them thus removing The Queen's protectors from the city, and so Erika is staying in the city and using her magic and cunning to keep The Queen on the throne and foil assassination attempts.
The party decided to head into the Iron Hills and find the slave trader who the fake party were selling slaves to. On the way they stop off at Toridin's home town and discover some disterbing information - trade from the West has stopped, and the last travellers to come through told tales of The Thunder Lord clans of Orcs uniting and forming a horde that is marching towards Girga. With the noble houses squabbling and the city guard apparently split in it's loyalties the city is defenseless. The depleated Royal Army might be able to stop the Orc horde but it is currently deployed in the Eastern Marches keeping peace between the river traders and the serpent-people who live in the marshland surrounding the river Kesh. Worse - it is said that the player characters are leading the Orc Horde! Whoever is going to the trouble of dragging the party's name through the mud really hates the party!
At this point the party sat down over a tankard of dwarven ale or two and tried to work out what is going on. They are responsible for the destruction of a large part of The Empire of The Unconquered Sun, so maybe it is the Drow and the Tieflings - but it seems out of character for The Empire who deal with their enemies either via assassination or direct assaults featuring Drider shock-troops and Drow archers. Who else. Then it hits them - a while back Balazar (the dragonborn former head of the Temple Guard of The Basilica of Bahumet) discovered that a hidden drinking establishment that the party had ended up in was a 'fey bar' and went nuts - kicking over tables, driving out the customers, taking the valuables of the establishment and finally calling in his former underlings to pull the place down and burn it. Other party members saw undisguised Changelings there and figured out that the bar was a front for the criminal organization of Changelings known in whispers as The Trifecta. It was The Trifecta that operated openly in The Empire - that was following Twyla (their sworn enemy) - and who could have planned a revenge this big. Twyla had been working against The Trifecta for some time and the party accidentally uncovering their Girga operation and completely smashing it on a whim and then joining up with Twyla has put them on the Trifecta's list of people to die. However, the party has been off-world recently (adventuring in the Feywild) and lacking any way to find the party the Trifecta just decided to ruin everything the party holds dear.
The party then uncovered a new piece of information - people drinking from the river Shale are getting really sick. The Shale feeds into the mighty Kesh river which in turn supplies water to Girga and from there the whole kingdom of Tarakesh! If the Orcs attack a sick city they will win for sure.
The party set out at once to find the slaver who the fake party had been trading with and following tracks in the wilds and directions in fake-Twyla's journal found the fabled Hunchback Slaver. Hidden in undergrowth nearby they listened to the loathsome Hunchback haggle with to two buyers over the price of a pair of slaves - slaves taken from Whitehaven. The party learned quite a bit of information by not immediately charging in.
The buyers work for a wizard called 'Dymaxion' who lives in a fortress at the head of the river Shale.
It is the wizard's experiments that are poisoning the river.
The wizard is using the slaves in his experiments.
The wizard traded his help to the Orc Horde in exchange for certain rare components.
There is an area of land before the wizard's lair that they call “The Forest of Slime”
It was the knock-off version of the party that united the Orcs and encouraged them to attack Girga, apparently using the party's own reputation to scare the Orcs into banding together.
The party decided that they had heard enough and proceeded to serve up justice Hero Style (apparently “Hero Style” involves a lot of crotch-kicking and lightning bolts to the crotch and general crotch violation).
Freeing the slaves (who also had some Hero Style justice to visit upon the Hunchback) they found the proof that they are innocent of all charges - the slaves can identify the party as not the ones who attacked Whitehaven (and thus not the ones who had been shipping in shoddy goods to Girga). Together with the Hunchback, the buyers, and the Hunchback's records they should be entirely exonerated and thus able to show their faces in Girga and rally the city against the Orcs.
The party split up, with the bulk of the party taking the freed slaves and captured slavers back to Toridin's home town for rapid transport to Captain Creya in Girga. Toridin and Celcia split off and headed up-river to blaze a trail for the party so that they can find the mysterious Dymaxion more quickly. They figure that with Celcia's magic horse the two can travel ahead into The Forest of Slime and then report back.
Here's how the report will probably go if written by Toridin:
3pm-5pm: followed river to waterfall. Lots of slime dripping from trees.
6pm: moved parallel to river until ruins in clearing encountered, decided to sleep there.
7pm: dusk, saw movement.
7.01pm: SLIMES!
7.02pm: Won fight against slimes. Campsite unfortunately eaten. Decided to chase slimes into forest to recover camping gear and enact retribution.
7.03pm: MORE SLIMES!
7.04pm: Lantern also eaten, fight won against slimes. Decided to chase slimes into forest.
7.05pm: MORE SLIMES!
7.10pm: Have decided to spend night awake perched atop ruins where slimes can not get to us. Most of our campsite has been eaten.
4am: Slimes still here, sun rising. Whole clearing one huge heaving mass of slimes. Hope they go away soon.
4.15am: Slimes still here. Sun is up. Discovered that slimes have eaten all our food, and most of my ale.
5am: Slimes gone. Now see how area got it's name. Decide to sleep, very tired.
11am: Gathered up our scattered and half-dissolved belongings. Food all gone. Thankfully cask of Dwarfish ale that magically refills is still intact.
1pm: Lunch: Ale.
5pm: Saw movement up ahead.
5.10pm: Slime-maidens ambushed us with bows and crossbows, but we chased them off. They left behind an intriguing bag.
5.20pm: Bag was filled with explosives. Slime-maidens had not retreated as far as we had thought. Think slime-maidens have gone now. Have decided to not press ahead. Arrows hurt. So do explosions.
7.10pm: Have spent some time running away from slimes. Have decided to spend another cold night perched atop ruins. Food still all gone. Magic cask of Dwarfish ale still intact. If my corpse is found frozen atop a stone wall in the middle of nowhere know that I died doing what I love - drinking Dwarfish ale.
Here's how the report will probably go if written by Celcia:
Dwarf drunk. Slimes everywhere. Still no sign of the Deck of Many Things.